I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to satisfy all the people who want something special to come out of the new Superman movie. But if one is all-powerful and represents Earth’s only hope for survival, one must try.

I haven’t seen the film, but I read a review that faulted actor Henry Cavill for giving us a Superman who is no fun. But that’s in his DNA (if he has DNA). He’s relentlessly able, stiflingly moral and thoroughly boring. I’m a top authority on this topic because I had a Superman suit when I was 10 years old. I didn’t have any super powers, except when it came to influencing one person. On the question of the suit, I used my pleading vision to shoot pity rays out of my eyes, which forced my mother to sew it. She did a fine job on the cape and the “S” emblem, though I would have liked a better pair of appropriately manly mid-calf high bright red boots.

And no, I did not wear the suit to school. I was an enthusiast, but not reckless. In fact, there are no photos that I can find, so you’ll have to take my word for it. If such a thing had happened at my house with my own son, there would be enough of a visual record of the Superman phase to fill several bookshelves. Perhaps there was an intentional effort made to spare me future embarrassment. Just like the real Superman, I guess my parents did everything in their power to protect me.

But back to the character’s lack of personality. The Superman I knew from comic books was one-dimensional, just like the the movie cowboys and TV cops of the day. Think about Sgt. Joe Friday’s monotone. To be human was to be imperfect. Competent in every regard and totally bland – that was the style. Remember that Superman’s vacation spot was called The Fortress of Solitude. That pretty much says it all. Not really a people person.

Part of Superman’s problem is that he’s always trying to win folks over by rescuing them from burning buildings, intercepting bullets and catching disabled airliners as they plummet groundward. You don’t really see him taking much time to sit and talk with people. He’s not interested in getting to know anyone. He’s always rushing off to save the world, never stopping to make a friend.

No wonder he’s dull.

Maybe we need a hero who’s extra powerful only when it comes to connecting with people.

What one super power would you like to have?