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2025, Business, Health, Science, Technology, Uncategorized

Lifetime Guarantee

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I’ve been thinking about this term for a long time. What exactly is a lifetime? How good is any guarantee? And do I own any thing (product, device, appliance, clothing, etc.) that has been sold to me that came with a lifetime guarantee?

After all, a lifetime for a human can be less than a day to more than 120 years. Mosquitoes and many insects have lifetimes measured in days. Tortoises can outlive humans by a factor of 2, if the experts are to be believed. And Redwood and Sequoia trees live for four centuries or longer.

But let’s focus on human lifetime. Mine in particular. We bought the bathroom scale shown in the title photo from Brookstone at Southdale most likely, wayyyy back in the 1980s. It is battery operated, and I use it nearly every day to weigh myself. I’m weird that way. I think monitoring my weight daily helps me cut back on calories or exercise more to keep my weight roughly the same over the years. Not for everyone, but it works for me.

Lately, after easily 40 years of usage, the battery is showing signs of dying. I’m not positive, but I see larger than normal daily fluctuations in my weight. Normal is 1-2 pounds. Lately, I’ve seen several 3-5 lb. jumps or drops. I eat and exercise about the same amount every day other than an occasional restaurant or dessert pigout. So maybe the battery is at the end of its useful life.

I don’t even think Brookstone is around anymore, but if they were, and the battery died, would they honor their lifetime guarantee on this scale? Or did I miss the fine print in the sales literature saying something like “Lifetime guarantee or 40 years max, whichever comes first”?

No matter, the scale has been reliable and troublefree for decades, so if it dies, I’ll get a new scale that might be relatively cheaper because I won’t have to worry about getting a “long-term” lifetime guarantee. 20-30 years is about the best I can hope for.

MY QUESTION:
Tell us about any products you’ve bought that came with a lifetime guarantee and have actually lasted far longer than you ever would have expected.

2024, Family, Travel, Uncategorized

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and . . . Campers?

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“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft a-gley.”—Robert Burns.

Sandra and I recently went on an eight-day camping trip to explore several of the state parks in southwest Minnesota. We paid extra to rent an Airstream trailer—Bun Bun, according to the owner—to see if Airstreams are superior to other, cheaper trailer brands. FWIW, the Airstream wasn’t worth twice the rental price of other similarly sized trailers.

As we started the trip, we imagined bright sunny days and moderate spring temperatures. The plan was to enjoy new hiking trails and explore the historical significance of parks like Ft. Ridgely, Blue Mounds, and Pipestone National Monument. What we got didn’t quite match “the dream.”

I won’t bore you with the details. I started this post with that in mind, but decided the post would be far too long. So here’s the plan in a nutshell compared to what actually happened.

  1. THE PLAN: Beautiful spring weather in MN. REALITY: Six days with rain out of eight total.
  2. THE PLAN: No illness, injury, or other issue to hamper our “fun.” REALITY: I got bitten by a wood tick during my first hike of the trip. Fortunately, Sandra noticed the nasty little bloodsucker as I prepared for bed. After she performed “emergency surgery,” we wasted two-plus hours the next day finding a clinic and having the bite checked for Lyme Disease. So far, I’m fine.
  3. THE PLAN: No mechanical issues with the trailer. REALITY: The electric cord that connects the SUV lights to the trailer lights came loose on an annoyingly bumpy section of highway and dragged on the pavement for at least an hour. We didn’t notice until we stopped at a rest area. Luckily we got it fixed within two hours (in the rain! At 5:30 pm on a Friday!) by the owner (and his employee) of a fantastic small business, Eric of Riverside Trailers in Rock Rapids, IA. The other downside of that was neither the travel insurance I bought, nor AAA covered that expense, so I paid the bill, plus gave generous tips to the men who did the work. Told them to have a few beers on us.
  4. THE PLAN: Minimal bug issues and lots of eating around the campfire or at the picnic table. REALITY: Horrendous bugs at Ft. Ripley State Park. Head nets required. Three days lost of enjoying the outdoors. Blue Mounds was better. The rain fell early or overnight, so we enjoyed four campfires on our last four nights.
  5. THE PLAN: Visit and at least do one hike in each of eight state parks—Ft. Ridgely, Lac Qui Parle, Upper Sioux Agency, Camden, Blue Mounds, Split Rock Creek, Lake Shetek, Kilen Woods. REALITY: Rain washed us out at Lac Qui Parle, USA was closed (given back to the tribe), didn’t go to Camden. But we compensated with a rain-soaked visit to the Jeffers Petroglyphs and a tour of the Rock County Historical Society (home of the 6000+ nutcrackers reneeinnd mentioned.

Mound Lake Dam, Blue Mounds State Park

Interpretive Center sign featuring author Frederick Manfred, Blue Mounds State Park

Jeffers Petroglyphs

Nutcrackers at Rock County Historical Society Museum

Quarry at Pipestone National Monument

Author at the falls at the Pipestone National Monument

Overall, we still had a successful trip, just with lots of memories we would have preferred not to remember, along with some pleasant ones as well. Sandra loved the nutcrackers, and a few of the hikes were excellent. Pipestone National Monument and the Jeffers Petroglyphs are pretty cool too.

When have your best laid plans “gang aft a -gley?”

The Baboon Congress, Words

On Being an Expert

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Header image from the public domain; source: Andrea Rauch

Today’s post is from Chris in Owatonna

Most of us go through life developing talents, skills, and interests that add to our enjoyment of life or pay our expenses. Some are happy doing relatively simple jobs, happy with their high school diploma or G.E.D., happy to be in the middle of the bell curve of expertise.

But some of us strive to become an expert at one thing: a field of study in college or beyond, a sport, a career, a hobby, a craft, an artistic discipline. Some earn a degree, or a license, or a certificate, or validation from adoring fans if they become rock stars or award-winning actors or world-class athletes.

The other group of strivers usually become experts by default. Often it’s simply for the love of the subject.  Who doesn’t know someone who’s a walking encyclopedia on a certain subject, like a woodworker who can build furniture as good as the masters of centuries past? Or the good cook who tried new recipes, developed new ideas, found a passion for feeding people and then opened their own restaurant without even knowing there is such an institution as the Culinary Institute of America?

Intentional or not, I seem to have earned my expert stripe in an area I hadn’t thought possible until about six years ago–writing fiction.

Yep. Fiction. A novel in fact.

“Big deal,” you say.

And you’re right. There are millions of people in the world who have written a complete book but aren’t entitled to call themselves experts.

“Why?” I hear you ask.

Because they haven’t published the book.

For better or worse, I took that step and published my novel! For people to actually purchase and read. I still shake my head in wonderment as to how and why I came to this point in my life.

I didn’t earn an MFA or Literature degree. I didn’t take master class after master class and earn validation from other experts (most far with far more expertise than I’ll ever have).  I didn’t even answer an ad in the back of a tabloid and get an online degree from “How ta Write Good University.” Nevertheless, I’ve earned the right to  pretend to be an expert in the field of fiction writing because I crossed the line from talking about it and dreaming about it to doing it.

My novel Castle Danger is now available in print for order through your favorite local bookstore ( my preferred  way to purchase books), Booklocker.com, the Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites, or the trunk of my car. And I am available for book clubs, bar mitzvahs, coffee klatches, neighborhood block parties, or hardware store grand openings. 🙂

Now that I’ve written a novel I suppose I’m qualified to teach classes or give interviews  on “how to write a novel.” Strangers may regard me with a modicum of admiration or envy or jealousy or dubiousness (THAT guy wrote a novel?? Sheesh!) But I don’t feel any more an expert on writing than I did before I decided to put the darn thing out into the world for public consumption. I wonder if other experts with real degrees, validation, or money in the bank earned from their expert endeavors feel like a true expert. And can anyone ever know everything there is to know about a subject or field of study? I doubt it.

So my question for Babooners is: In what subject, job skill, artistic or athletic endeavor, or hidden talent have you become a de facto expert? Meaning no official recognition by governing bodies, licensing boards, piles of money in a Swiss bank account, or public acclaim and accolades?