Uncategorized

Ask Dr. Babooner

40 Comments

Dear Dr. Babooner,

My wife is a professor of Human Relations at the University and one of the “ground rules” of our marriage is that she can not use examples from our life at home in her lectures or publications.

Recently the dew point has been very high and the world outside has been quite uncomfortable. I was walking across campus one afternoon when it became so unbearable I ducked into a nearby building for a moment’s respite, only to realize that my wife was teaching a class in one of the large lecture halls.
I thought I would slip into the back of the room to cool off, but when I approached the door I heard her voice clearly say the following thing:

“According to the Kinsey Report, every average man you know much prefers his lovey-dovey to court when the temperature is low. But when the thermometer goes ‘way up and the weather is sizzling hot, Mister pants for romance is not.”

Dr. Babooner, I was shocked and heartbroken. “Mr. Pants” is a special pet name for me that I thought we used only in the privacy of our home! And here she was tossing it around in public to describe one of the most intimate aspects of our relationship!

A number of other things bothered me too. She was ending a sentence with an adverb. That’s wrong, is it not? Plus, I don’t think the Kinsey Report ever said anything about love and temperature. And on a more fundamental level, as far as our personal dynamic goes, Mr. Pants for romance always IS.

Hints of academic fraud, evidence of grammatical incompetence and heartless personal betrayal combined with a public mischaracterization of my readiness have combined to make me wonder what has happened to the woman I love!

Can this marriage be saved?

Sincerely,
Mr. Pants

I told “Mr. Pants” that one should never give second hand or overheard statements too much weight in determining the course of a relationship. Shakespeare did a lot of that in his comedies, and his characters are always wrong about what they think is going on. Do you want to wind up being humiliated? And Shakespeare was a guy who wore funny pants. Coincidence? I doubt it.

But that’s just one opinion. What do you think, Dr. Babooner?

40 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. So Shakespeare is the one from whom the Three’s Company writers got their story lines! Mr. Pants is dangerously close to finding himself as a cast member in just such an episode.

    Good morning, all!

    Like

    Reply

  2. We’re off to a quiet start here! Where is everyone?

    First, let’s lop the head off that “rule.” For many clumsy writers, that is the only rule of English usage they can name. And it is bogus. Such a rule exists in Latin but not English. Winston Churchill expressed his scorn for the rule by saying, “That is the kind of thing up with which I will not put.”

    The whole quotation sounds wrong, Dr. Babooner. I can’t see an alternative reading that makes more sense, but the thing is still not grammatical or very elegantly put.

    So I’m left to assert, along with you, that it is foolish to make a negative judgment on a person based on a single statement heard without reference to context. Or to put it another way, a friend is someone I always offer the benefit of doubt. And when I love someone, they have my unswerving faith and support even if I think I’ve heard something disturbing. If I think they have wronged me, I am almost surely wrong, and meanwhile I owe it to them to believe in them absolutely until they have a chance to explain the misunderstanding.

    What a spectacular day, Babooners! The Twins swept KC and Tim’s crew was victorious. It is a good day to be alive.

    Like

    Reply

  3. Mr Pants,
    How did your wife’s students respond to her sining such a golden oldie while tap-dancing at the lectern?

    Like

    Reply

    1. I’m guessing the students, if they had any sense, sang along.

      I don’t know if “Mrs. Pants” is a very good singer, so it would help if you could have this famous recording by Ella Fitzgerald playing back in your head.

      http://youtu.be/bbHtqatv4fU

      Of course on this lovely Monday it’s anything BUT “Too Darn Hot”. There is a delay built in to the “Ask Dr. Babooner” system and we sometimes hear about problems well after the conditions that caused them have ended.

      Like

      Reply

  4. Rise and Shine Baboons:

    Everyone (well, this part of everyone) has been picking tomatoes and raspberries, and sorting out the husband’s intermittent internet problems at the bank’s website, so said husband can write the last check for the house project.

    Dr. B and Mr. P:

    Several thoughts have occurred to me:

    What a dumb nickname.
    A particular Mr. P is WAY too sensitive. Afterall, who else KNOWS that “Mr. Pants” is the nickname between he and his professor?
    A particular blogger may be in way too deep at the Fringe Festival offerings.
    If a particular Mr. P is already asking if this marriage can be saved, it may already be too late. RUN, don’t walk, to the nearest marital therapist!
    It appears that the Professor used the errant grammar to make a rhyme. I thought that is called poetic license, a technique frequented here at this website.

    Steve, it is August in Minnesota. Most have evacuated until September 7.

    Busy day. Enjoy the glory.

    Like

    Reply

  5. Morning all! Beautiful day in Zim, and I do believe the temp got down to 54 degrees over night. Haven’t had that kind of overnight low here for quite a while.

    I am not sure how to respond to Mr Pants’ question. But I think there is a song that has a reference to “Goethe behind the curtain” in the music archives. Mike – if you are lurking in your lyrical, minimalist guise, perhaps you could surreptitiously search the shelves, silently of course, for said song? Thanks!

    Like

    Reply

  6. Jacque you just said everything I’ve think of so far…

    OT: Now THIS is my kind of summer day. I literally wilt in the humidity combined with high temps, and it such a relief to have my energy back. I have Step-son and 2 grandbabies coming from Calif. next weekend, and a big family “super soaker party” to plan for. Life is good.

    Like

    Reply

  7. Morning everyone.

    I agree; you can’t put too much stock in something you overheard… and I guess that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

    OT-Now, speaking of “…the weather is sizzling hot…” my son returned last night from a mission trip to Mexico (where he said the worst day here was the best day there, temperature wise) and it was discovered that every night he would stuff his sweaty clothes into a plastic bag and stuff it back into his suitcase; imagine a whole mens’ locker room in one little suitcase. Whew! Dumped it all out on the driveway and hosed it down out there… will let it air out today then start washing. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

    1. My daughter organizes and chaperone’s such trips, very high pressure on her to do so, and always says this is the last one. But when the kids get home and talk at the church about it, she is ready to do it next year. But the economy now keeps her closer to home. One of the best things she always thinks is how the kids have to cope with something other than their much easier world.

      Like

      Reply

    2. ben too funny, what was the opening and shutting of the suitcase prior to having come to the discovery that he had a problem? is mexio high in humidity where he comes rom? the temp is tolerable if you can find shade where there is no humidity, 91 and fine in spokane yesterday and today. it is a different kind of heat, but the clothes still need a rinse every week or two or issues d arise.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Fortunately we were still standing outside talking when it came up in conversation that he had to buy two new shirts because he ran out of clean clothes…
        They flew into Cancun and then traveled about half an hour from there to their work site. I’m not sure of specifics but it was fairly close to the gulf so yes, it was humid…
        Had his billfold stolen too, while riding on a city bus he thinks, but only lost his drivers license and a little cash; had split up his money and didn’t have any bank cards…

        Like

        Reply

    3. Well, that explains a lot! A terrible odor swept over us here in Saint Paul last night, and I couldn’t imagine where it came from. Keep in mind, Ben, that there are innocent folks living downwind of you.

      Like

      Reply

  8. Dale, a gentle “nudge, nudge” but no “wink wink”: Friday’s poems, yours and tim’s, did not make it into Rhyme Wave.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks for the nudge, Clyde.
      “The Ballad of William Lyle” and “Twit Contemplation” along with thyrkas’s “Mom Confronts Slater” have been posted at Rhyme Wave.

      Like

      Reply

  9. Speaking of the Fringe Festival, Dale, is it major movie deals, copyright infringements, strict participation guidelines or just plain humility that keeps you from commenting more directly on your participation? If you can’t comment now, can we maybe expect a post on the events ‘coming to a blog near you’ in the future? Inquiring minds long to know.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi thyrkas,
      My role as a Fringe volunteer was slight and unremarkable. I directed people into lines, sold tickets, tore tickets, cleaned up in the hall between shows and straightened promotional cards on the display table for about 18 hours, all told. It was fun!
      I enjoy the Fringe and just like public radio the whole thing relies on volunteers who appreciate what they get, are willing to pay for it at the box office and will also pitch in something extra to keep the ball rolling.
      I could write about my first attempt at running the box office for a show, but I’m afraid if the truth got out it might hurt my job prospects.

      Like

      Reply

      1. as in many things in life you are an expert the second time you do it . the first time it is all learning curve. the problem is usually that there is no second opportunity for th next 10 years.

        Like

        Reply

  10. A humans relations professor is much like a pastor. Every pastor promises their family they will not use them as examples in their sermons and then breaks the promise. The family is just too rich a source to not use. It also is usually a sign of a good family/marriage because it shows how much a very busy person is in tune with their family/spouse. So Mr. Pants, tough it out. She’s more committed than you because it shows how much you are a part of her life that she cannot not talk about you and you just want to bail out.
    PS: Our pastor, a wonderful sermoner, two weeks ago explained the promise and that he was breaking it for which he apologized in advance and then talked about the first night of their marriage. It was not that intimate and was a wonderful example of his point about trust and looking positively ahead despite circumstances. But I would have not gone there.

    Like

    Reply

  11. Good morning on this morning that is not “Too Darn Hot”.

    I would think that Mr. P should be able to excuse his wife for using a quote from a song that might indirectly reveal something about him. However, the wife should have remembered that her favorite nick name for him was in the song and realized that using this quote might offend her husband. I agree with Dale’s advice that Mr. P should cool it, but we don’t know what Mr. P is really thinking. Jacque could be right with her advice that a marital therapist might be badly needed.

    I see that on Saturday Dale’s topic was gardening and that’s one of my favorite topics so I will make a short late report on my garden. It has generally been a good gardening year in my area with lots of rain but not too much. I have sweet potatoes in the garden for the first time and they are growing like crazy. My early tomatoes are producing well. Some of my fall plantings are not so good because the plants had trouble emerging in the hot weather. Next year I might try laying some shade cloth over these plantings for fall to protect them from the hot summer sun that had a negative impact on the emergence of these plants.

    Note to That Guy in a Hat: I heard from my son-law, Zack Kline, that you were at a preformance by The Orange Might Trio. Zack said that the trio had fun preforming some new material to a small informal audience and that he also had some time to chat with you.

    Like

    Reply

    1. And they really put on a great show (as always)! This show was cool because it was a really relaxed atmosphere and they were able to ‘jam’ a little more. My wife and I were the only two that were actually -there- to see OMT. Everyone else was passing by or carousing at the bar. It was a ~little~ awkward when you’re the only ones there that are actually paying attention but, again, they did great!

      More awkward for my folks. Tim Fast and Cliff Eberhardt were playing at Amazing Grace Bakery in Duluth this last Friday too. So, I called my folks and told them to go down and see the show. They said they would and that they’d bring a couple of their friends too. My folks and their friends were the only ones there. Apparenly, another couple showed up about 2/3 through but, essentially, it was my folks, their friends, the employees of Amazing Grace, and a lot of empty tables. I guess Tim & Cliff handled it well but, geez, talk about not feeling ‘the love’…

      Like

      Reply

      1. I had an experience at the Amazing Grace Bakery similar to your parents, tgith, and similar to your experience when you were the only ones who came specificly to hear the Orange Mighty Trio. Jerry Rau was at Amazing Grace and we were part of a very small audience that came to hear him. Jerry was not too happy when a couple who were part of the very small audience got up to leave in the middle of his preformance. I’m glad you went to hear the trio because they needed to have some one there that really wanted to hear them, but I guess they had a good time trying out some new stuff that they would not have tried in front of a larger group.

        Like

        Reply

  12. Vignette of the Day: Rode to work today: what a morning to ride. Rode one of my favorite routes–over to and around the campus. I have a small window to do so, between the Vikings’ departure and the students’ arrival. All of the signs for the Vikings are gone and in their place today are signs saying things like “Crime Scene Procedures Parking.” Is there a connection? But the biggest thief in the gang, the one who keeps stealing the public attention, is hiding out on a farm in Louisiana.

    Like

    Reply

  13. hi All – it’s the week of the Carlton County Fair (Alba’s triplets’ new goatmom is showing them on thursday and i get to help!!). also caring for animals and milking for a friend this week so i’ll catch y’all next week. we surely are enjoying this weather!
    Dale – the “too darn hot” went right over my head. i’m too darn dull.

    Like

    Reply

    3. It’s also the Steele County Free Fair this week! I’m heading home on Thursday to spend the weekend with my parents. I love the fair 🙂

      Like

      Reply

      1. give a holler on your way through if you get a chance. ill buy coffee or wine if you are interested. are you bringing your dog?

        Like

        Reply

      2. Yep, Kai is coming with. I’ll be coming through LATE Thursday night, as I have to leave after work, otherwise I would holler 🙂

        Like

        Reply

  14. Mr. P –

    I would go with the advice to read a few Shakespeare plays (and watch a few episodes of Three’s Company) to see what happens when you overhear things and take them out of context. And then be happy that your spouse feel’s secure enough in the relationship to use it as an example, if that is, in fact, what was happening (and not an Ella sing-along).

    Glad it is no longer “too darn hot.” I was reaching that point in the stretch of heat where I was re-thinking the house choice based on location, walk-ability of the neighborhood, and charm and thinking that an anonymous house in the ‘burbs with central air might not be so bad…

    Like

    Reply

  15. mr pants, i think that your disovery is most likely the tip of the iceberg. i suggest you hire a private investigator. as for the questioning of your manhood you could let her know you know without saying it and make her realize that you are all seeing and all knowing by inserting more than mr p into the next lovemaking session afterglow. tell mr pants does and watch her twist it around in her mind for a while.
    english structure… wrong guy here dude!
    and dale, what does your wife teach?

    Like

    Reply

      2. two more wins to go. then we are the champs. there are four teams left. us and the three teams we have already beat. so the double elimination format favors us but the teams left are all real good teams. tonight at 9pm central and tomorrow at 6pm and then at 9 if needed. then i am eastward bound. montana ho

        Like

        Reply

Leave a reply to Ben Cancel reply