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Epidemic!

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Monday the 13th might have a special kind of bad luck. To start the week, and hot on the heels of the one he filed last Friday, we’ve received another hyper-dramatic dispatch from Bud Buck.

This year, media consuming Americans are under vigorous assault by a relentless enemy. No matter where you turn, you are a potential victim of this stealthy scourge. Even if you spend only a small amount of time watching TV or reading newspapers, the chances are very good that before too long, you will find yourself face to face with one of these pests.

Bedbug stories! They’re everywhere!

“People are frantic and they don’t know what to do,” said TV critic Pixie Hickey. “They can’t avoid having to think about bedbugs, but all the channels are infested. Reports about bedbugs in hotels, bedbugs in taxis, in airplanes, there’s nowhere to hide. There are even stories about bedbugs in our own homes!”

Looking for confirmation, I found a group of shoppers staring blankly at the personal insecticide shelves at a local discount store. They verified Hickey’s thesis.

“I am not the sort of person who would even consider watching a story about bedbugs,” said Arlene Squeamish of Coon Rapids, “but I’ve seen at least a dozen in the past week. I was raised with the expectation that only people who live in filthy homes need to think about bedbugs, and I’d never ever have to spend a moment considering their little flat bodies and pointy sword-like protrusions. And now here I am thinking about AND talking about bedbugs too. And to a journalist – another kind of horrible creature that gives me hives. I feel dirty and worthless.”

It’s easy to understand Ms. Squeamish’s squeamishness. In the not too distant past you could read through truckloads of newsprint and watch television nonstop for months and never encounter the word “bedbug”.

Fred Critters of South Minneapolis has watched this situation change. “Nowadays as soon as my feet hit the floor and there are bedbug reports on the radio. I’m seeing bedbugs on my TV, and when I look in the paper, not only are there super close-up pictures, but they have detailed descriptions of bedbug sex habits and lots of information about the “blood meal” they’re out to get – from me!

What’s changed? TV critic Hickey thinks we let our guard down.

“There were so many taboos in the old days – stuff you simply couldn’t talk about. But the boundaries got pushed back and back until now nothing is too embarrassing and anything goes, and as a result it’s very, very hard to get attention. People have become difficult to shock and almost impossible to appall. So you need a riveting idea – something to really spark the imagination. Bedbugs crawling all over your face at night is one of those really powerful images.”

What can stop this current wave of bedbug stories?

“Boredom,” said Ms. Squeamish. Once bedbugs are no longer surprisingly gross, we’ll move on to something else that’s freshly disgusting, like cooties. Or silverfish.”

When will that day come? Not soon enough!
This is Bud (Bedbug) Buck!

What is your favorite kind of news story to turn off or skip over?

48 thoughts on “Epidemic!”

  1. rev jones and the koran burning comes to mind.
    i agree with baseball that when an idiot fan jum pson the field to run around you don’t put him on tv therby taking away the glory motovation. i think the same should be done for colombine like sad sickos and then like, but then again what would happen to fox news?

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    2. Fox is really one long episode of oral diarrhea isn’t it. Makes my skin crawl. Especially all those sincere smiles on the talking heads. Lots of dental work in that crowd!

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  2. You make an excellent point, Tim.

    There is no shortage of silly, shallow, worthless topics that get breathless coverage, especially by cable news. A lot of current journalism is marked by a pack mentality, with media operations feverishly chasing stories that seem to be playing well at the moment. One result is that it is almost impossible to follow current events without encountering pseudo-news that is almost impossible to ignore.

    But far worse are news stories where the panting attention of the media gives some fool the motivation to do something truly cruel and stupid. You’re right. The worst stories are those where the spotlight of the media is the main motivation for someone to exceed his natural limits as a scumbag and do something spectacularly awful.

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  3. Greetings! The news stories I usually ignore have to do with new wonder drugs on the market, the need for vaccinations and the ridiculously trumped up “swine flu pandemic.” Then there are the stories where I yell back at the TV (although those mentioned can also prompt a loud verbal response) which include supposed *studies* about the danger of herbs or supplements {prescription drugs kill 250,000 people a year}, the stories about how organic food is no different from conventional and other nonsense propaganda that isn’t fact-checked because they’re PR releases from Big Pharma and Big Agribiz, and real journalists are becoming an extinct species.

    Did I make that one long sentence? Anyway, I don’t watch TV news because many ads are for pharmaceuticals which also makes me yell at the TV. Which basically means I’m tilting at windmills and acting like a fool. ‘Nuff said … Generally, I just avoid such things so I don’t get all riled up. Have a great day!

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  4. Anytime a Rebublican is on
    , speaking in a superior, calm and patronizing voice, about how it is Right to take away health care from the poor and give money to the rich, I have to turn the tv off and say, “Idiots.”

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    1. there , there patricia. you need to understand why they are trying to help you understand…..we re all working toward one good here. you just don’t understand that. they want to pay two dollars for the toll road just like the other guy. oh wait a minute. i was taught that the tax on the cadalac at the same level as the guy with the pinto was unfair. maybe these guys went to different social studies classes than i did. socialized medicine… then we’d be like the rest of the world, that can’t work.

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  5. Rise and Shine Babooners!

    What a gorgeous week end to be out and about. I hope everyone enjoyed the events. I read on the Sunday blog that someone was on the St. Paul bike ride. I hung around St. Paul a bit Sunday and saw many bike riders. What a day for it! And I love news stories about events like the bike ride–attention for positive, productive activity.

    My list of “news” stories to skip over include so many things that really are not news.

    Politics: That it will be a Republican year. This is not news. It is a long term pattern that is pretty easily predicted. I also turn off anything about congress being dysfunctional. Of course they are! It’s not been news for 200 years.

    Sex: Anything involving wayward sports figures, politicians, CEO’s. It’s nearly always the same story, over and over and over and over…..

    Religion: Any charismatic figure who wants to take your money, save your soul, and scare you into following him/her on the media so you can go to heaven with him/her. (Who wants to be stuck in eternity with that kind of oral diarrhea anyway?)

    Economy: Double dip recession, slow recovery.

    Celebrities: Stories about Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Whitney Houston, etc. Give me a break.

    As you can see this covers nearly all news.

    I tune in to learn about real cancer cures, tornados headed in my direction, and interesting interviews with people who know what they know. And sometimes — well, alot — I listen to the radio news for background wallpaper because I find sound soothing during boring tasks.

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    1. Thanks for that, Jacque: “I listen to radio news for background wallpaper . . . .” I do the same. Living alone, I often play KNOW almost like I’d play Radio Heartland, not really listening but being comforted by it. And as with Radio Heartland, if something especially nice comes on I can tune my ears to it and then later bring my attention back to the task at hand.

      What is odd is that even though I’m not attending to the words, I can sense instantly the difference between intelligent, interesting stories and the commentary of dolts or cranks. Even if I’m not listening, I get a tingle when someone on the radio is lying. My lie detector runs even when my mind is elsewhere. What soothes is the sound of a smart and ethical person talking well about a favored topic.

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  7. Isn’t it interesting that many of us turn off the news n a regular basis, yet we are a quite well-informed bunch? My news tastes are much like Jacque’s.

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  8. I’ll second Joanne, well said. In fact, I’ll have to agree with all of you, it’s why we’ve let go of the TV. I’m starting to get most of the week’s news from “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.” 🙂

    Off topic — Rock Bend Festival Saturday was, wonderful. I’m sorry I didn’t see you, tim, but I did get to meet Krista and hear her trio, Flat Head Cats (did y’all know she was going to perform, too?) in action on the North stage. Great fun, more on this later.

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    1. nope i didn’t know but we must have been nearby. it was a fun band, a lot of sound for 3 pieces. krista on vocals mandolin and recorder was great.

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  9. My news for this morning is that today we begin our weekly trek to Bismarck for violin lessons. This year we will be accompanied by daughter’s best friend who is a remarkable soprano and pianist and who has a new piano teacher at Bismarck State College, as well as a young man named Zach, who is an equally remarkable clarinet player and who studies with someone at the University of Mary in Bismarck. We can pool for gas money and I do believe there is safety in numbers, especially when the weather gets bad. Best friend’s mom will also go along, so I will have some sane, adult conversation. I suppose that means, though, that daughter and I can’t have our regular argument time. We usually have a nice disagreement between Glen Ullin and New Salem. Oh well.

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    2. Renee – just how long of a drive is it from your home to Bismarck for these lessons? That’s quite a commitment for weekly lessons for your daughter — but good musical training is priceless. Good for you!

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  10. “Spanish Pipedream” was perfect! Thanks Mike!

    Mike, maybe I can be a little more articulate here… I wanted to say “Thank you!” to you yesterday for making the arrangements to record the Festival and for regularly intervening with JASPER on our behalf so perfectly. Thanks again.

    It was really nice to meet tim and Barbara at the Festival on Saturday. We were lucky to have great weather and we think we had a record attendance (hard to know for sure because we don’t have a gate). I love Rock Bend because I soak up a big dose of positive energy and because there is no TV news. (Although there was some annoying guy who finagled a backstage pass and said he was a “blues reporter.” Wonder if he knows Bud Buck.)

    I’m still about as tired as a person can get. There’s quite a lot of heavy physical work involved with the Festival and we’re not done yet. We’ll tear down the tents and stages tonight, load the poles and lumber into a truck and move it all into a storage building – 363 days until Rock Bend 2011!

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    2. Yes, congrats on a successful festival Krista. Large community events like Rock Bend would be impossible without willing helpers!

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    3. Krista – that sounds like an awesome event — wish I could have been there with such great weather. Kudos to you for being such a selfless volunteer. You should have mentioned you were playing as well as volunteering. I know, I know — you’re just a humble Minnesotan.

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  12. Morning–

    Not having cable TV or a dish, I am free of CNN, Fox News and the like. And except when something big is going down I don’t find I miss it. (A co-worker will talk about sitting up at night being scared by the news and I think ‘why don’t you just turn it off??’)
    I don’t listen to much news on the radio either; just the hourly break on whichever MPR station I’m listening too…
    I read our local town newspaper and the Star Trib, plus a weekly called ‘The Week’– anyone else get that? It’s think it’s good.
    And what I get tired of is whatever story is dominating the headlines at that particular time. Last week it was Rev. Jones. Even the gulf oil spill; day after day of the same story / different slant gets tiring. Tell me about it when it’s new, then give me NEW information please if there is any…
    I remember a couple years ago; local TV news coverage of election night. They were trying so hard to be ‘first’ that most of the races didn’t have any results yet but there they were; talking it up! I actually wrote them a letter– said ‘you had nothing to report! Why are you doing that!?’ Sheez… give it a minute would ya??
    We had a good weekend too; didn’t get out to anything but got lots of work done at home… and it was Marigold Days in Mantorville… according to the 10:00 TV news…

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    2. I’ve been thinking of getting The Week — it seems like an interesting and useful publication. For interesting, in-depth and actual journalistic coverage, I enjoy “Mother Jones” magazine. It’s a non-profit publication that only accepts advertising for selected companies.

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  13. The flavor of the comments tells me that there is out there somewhere “The BUD BUCK SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.” Perhaps this is located at Okoboji University, that excellent and fictional school of many bumper stickers. I think it specializes in

    Overstatement
    Sensationalism
    Hyperfocus on meanless details
    Poor judgement.

    Most of the media must have attended this fine institution.

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    2. Bud says:

      “Yes, many media giants went to BBSJ, but now that they have graduated, we can’t seem to get them to contribute anything. We were hoping Geraldo would endow a chair in Sensationalism, and he had promised to push some major $ our way from Al Capone’s safe, but now he won’t return my calls.”

      Clearly the University level training in poor judgement had a lasting effect!

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  14. ted turner be cursed.
    24 hour news is the devil. we used to get 6 minutes of sports, 5 minutes of weather, 7 minutes of commercials, and the remaining 12 minutes of time was to be split between local and national news. then came ted and guys hanging around the world waiting for news to happen they could report on. remember wolf blitzer and the guy whos name was a lot like a..hole? they became overnight sensations by being in catastrophie land. you don’t need a story every day if you have a big one every 100. if you don’t have one find one. if you can’t find one create one.
    i hear now that jones is front and center in his negotaitions some new rev has decided maybe he should burn the koran at his church. why would he do that? why wouldn’t he do that. i am surprised there is only one. sick sensational news r us. ted begat cnn who begat fox news (remember when they were nothing idiots who paid too much for nfl football and terrible trash tv? then they became the fair and ballanced nazi party. what have we become. maybe the chinese governments oversight has a place in the world after. 1st amendment my patuties. just because you can finance lies lies and more lies doesn’t mean you should be able to broadcast it to the world. there are enough hate mongers that we could likely support an anti jewish, muslem, negro, asain chicano station or one of each. like reality tv for the neighbor from hell. sleeze tv has its time in the sun. lets hope it blows over but don’t underestimate the publics love for trash and gossip and hate. its a sad state.
    how bout them twins!!!

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    1. thanks for asking, Renee – Steve updated the blog today, so click on my name and you will see more cute pictures of Lassi and Kona. they consider themselves part of the Girlherd now. they get banged a lot (now that Alba is feeling better d/t to her little “guests” leaving more of her nutrition to herself) but if i take them out for relief from the stress (all mine, obviously) they yell until i put them in with the Big Girls again. they are in their own little pen nights only now. and their pellet report came back “parasite free” this morning! the only one that isn’t eating well right now is T. he has other things on his mind. i’ve made a note to myself to fatten him more next spring and summer in anticipation for this time of inevitable weight loss. but he (and Niblet) are healthy and beautiful. they have a new vitamin/mineral mix that they really love. that is the kind of news i love. 🙂

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  16. I think Andrew Weil has in one of those books the recommendation to do a news boycott. Our brains aren’t wired to cope with the knowledge of every disaster that’s happening in the world at any given moment.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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    1. That fits my theory that, from an evolutionary point of view, we only need to know about other people when it comes to defending our food supply. Increasing population and technology make the concept of a village downright overwhelming.

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  17. When Dubya was elected, I turned off the news since I just couldn’t bear to listen to him speak. Ignorant bliss took root, and I decided that, even after the administration had changed for the better in my opinion, I would continue this blissful trend of unknowing. Occasionally, I tune into The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, where I am indirectly assaulted with knowledge of current events.

    I guess I’m saying I avoid it all, but if I were to choose one type of coverage I especially try to avoid, it would be that of the public funerals and mourning of popular figures. That kind of coverage can go on for weeks!

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    1. Speaking of Dubya, my oldest son in Marines gave me a calendar for Christmas for his last year in office (2008). It was hilarious. The calendar had goofy, smug and stupid pictures of Bush; a countdown of days left in office and many, many Bushisms, convoluted quotes and myriad examples of how he massacred the English language in his own inarticulate style. I loved it and kept it. It’s astonishing how inept Dubya was in public speaking.

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  18. You have all pretty much summed up my take on current news – I listed some to MPR, occasionally read the paper, and turn it off I get annoyed.

    I remember when I was quite young asking my mom two questions: what was Watergate and why was everyone so worried about keeping back the water? and why did we have to see starving children everyday in Cambodia (and where was Cambodia? What’s a refugee?….)? This was in an era when the Today Show was more “morning news” and less “fluff with some weather” – and Mom would fold laundry and iron while she watched. I watched right along with her…and these were the daily repeats of the day. Somehow, even though it got repetitious, there’s a better argument for daily updates on those (even without much change) than Rev. Hothead in Florida or Who-Slept-With-Someone-He-Ought-Not-to-Have.

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