There are still a few guest blogger slots open for early October, when I’m taking a blog holiday.
Anna, tim, Barbara and Steve have already agreed to step in as prime primate in our baboon woods. If you’ve ever thought you’d like to have a blog without the messy day-to-day chores, why not try your hand at launching a single discussion? To sign up, send an e-mail to me – connelly.dale@gmail.com. You get choose the topic. The house rules are simple. Don’t be mean. No swearing or nudity. I’ll help with editing and posting. Thanks to those who have already agreed to do a bit of digital house-sitting.
During that stretch I’ll spend some time in western Minnesota at the annual Sinclair Lewis Writer’s Conference in Sauk Centre. It’s the 20th anniversary for this get-together to honor this Minnesota writer and Nobel Prize winner in his home town. Organizer Jim Umhoefer has kindly asked me to host a fine concert on the evening of Friday, October 8th.
Red House Records performing artists John Gorka, Meg Hutchinson, John Hermanson and Mother Banjo will be there, alongside poets Robert Bly and Freya Manfred.
The show is bound to be a great musical event and a rich word feast, more than enough to get conference attendees primed for the next day’s workshops with writers Kevin Kling, Thomas R. Smith and Dave Simpkins. You don’t have to sign up for the conference to attend the concert, but if you like words and smart, funny people, you should consider it. At any rate, everyone is welcome at the Friday night show for the bargain admission price of $10.
Here are the details: Friday, October 8th, 7:30 pm
Sauk Centre High School Auditorium
903 State Road
Sauk Centre, MN
As the evening’s master of ceremonies, my job is fun and easy. I get to meet and greet and say a few words from the stage. The difficult work of organizing and performing is already taken care of by experts! My only worry has to do with finding an elegant way to introduce Robert Bly.
I don’t buy the notion that some people are so well known they “need no introduction”. Introductions are as much about showing respect as conveying information. Every human being is difficult to summarize, but some are nearly impossible. One shouldn’t say too much, but one can’t say enough.
The only type of introduction more awkward is a casual kind – you’re with a friend and you run into someone else you have already met and are supposed to know, but you can’t think of their name. This familiar stranger expects to be introduced to your companion, and vice-versa. You are, after all, the connecting personality, but you are flustered and brian-dead. If the other people in this triangle are good friends of yours, they already know this about you and will forgive your lapse. But why can’t you remember who your “good friends” are?
How do you get out of it without looking (and sounding) like a dope?
Trail Baboon 
i say “i don’t know if you have met my friend Janet……..” hoping the person whom i’ve forgotten gets the idea and says “no i don’t – i’m Geena Louise Frabiottao” (and then, vowing i will never forget GLF’s name again, i will forget it before the conversation is over)
good morning, All!
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Tell Steve I especially like the bales in the fog, if you would.
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will do – thanks, Clyde
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Love the latest post from Out to Pasture! The s&h wants to know if Lassi has figured out how to not get her head stuck in the fencing (or did the farmers just have to save her from herself?)
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we finally had to change the pen panels; Lassi will not be known for her brain power. as her first Goatmom says, “it’s a good thing she’s so cute.”
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Rise and Shine Babooners:
I usually have a good memory for names and faces, but every now and then I forget a name for an intro. I don’t even try to save face if that happens, and I just say, “I’m having a senior moment. Help me out because I’m blanking on your name.” Most people are very understanding about that. But on a stage, introducing Robert Bly, TAKE NOTECARDS. That will be intimidating.
But Dale you are up to it. Are you just doing the emcee/intro thing, or are you doing the writers’ workshop too? You are a great writer, with a fertile imagination worthy of fiction, so I hope you do try to expand that part of your career.
Meanwhile, I had an awkward introduction this weekend with someone who appeared to be unhinged. I was in the very busy, perhaps even frenetic, parking lot at Costco. As I left the store and made my way through the traffic to the car, I saw a lady whose van was parked back to back to mine, but several parking spots down.
She was loading her van with purchases, and screaming at her kids. I loaded up my car and started it, looked around for traffic. It was clear, so I slowly backed up. Horn honks. Crunch. Apparently we both backed out of our spots at nearly the same time! I pulled back into my spot, then got out to view the damage — to find there was none to my vehicle and only a small dent in her rear driver’s side door where my bumper hit. She screams at me, “Are you kidding me? You didn’t see me there? Are you kidding me?”
Like I saw her, then intended to hit her ?
I finally said, “Well, let’s just do what we need to do here,” and I retrieved my insurance info. She was still agitated, so I said, “I’m having trouble with your attitude,” as she shoved her insurance info at me, then she accused me of trying to “start something.” I got her phone number, gave her my name, insurance co., and number, but I declined to give her my phone or address for fear she would stalk me because she was so upset. Then I fled the scene, feeling terrible.
I don’t think we will be friends.
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Thanks for the encouraging words, Jacque.
I’ll stick around for the conference on Saturday. Listening to Kevin Kling is always a treat, and writers are good company.
Your parking lot fender bender story sounds like a demoralizing scene. I can see how an incident like that would cloud the rest of the day. Imagine how it must have been for the kids, though I suppose they’re all too familiar with watching mom self-combust.
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Yeh, I wondered about the kids, too. Poor things.
That incident wasn’t as demoralizing as today will be. I pay my 3rd Q tax payments to Uncle Sam and Uncle Loony. My bank account is now flat as a pancake. Sigh.
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next time you run into her at costco. maybe you could introduce her to the others around you. i’m sure you can think of a few choice adjectives to use and her name is almost incidental
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I think I ran into her once, too. Can’t remember her name though….
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i don’t
i look like a dope regularly
it’s so familiar i am comfortable with it.
i can introduce you as the guy i have enjoyed playing raquetball with before i broke my ankle and lost that ability. we have been at different schools together together for years. you son and mine are the jocks we all know and love. the brotherhood of man is certain to find us all in the same circle on occasion. the fun of these get togethers is all the people you get to run into and you two are certainly qualiifed.
i am the biggest walking brain fart on the planet and the opportunities for me to practice my shuffle comes up often. its not that i don’t remember the name , i often don’t remember meeting the person. i have this little song and dance where i am the 3rd wheel and do the intro without mentioning either name or the circumstances wher we know each other from because i simply cant remember, or i can remember the place or circumstances that we know each other from but the name… dream on.
i think dale when you introduce robert bly you might mention that he wrote some stuff. i think people would find that interesting especially at a writers conference.
enjoy the perfect fall morning. yesterday was ideal and it sounds like we are ok for the first half of the day today too. i love jacket weather. can i introduce you to my jacket…
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You can remember me as as the Boozy Raspberry Lady!
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I call it tap-dancing. I talk in a friendly way while keeping all comments vague and general. Meanwhile my brain is running on hyper-speed, looking for clues in the comments of your “good friends” as to who the heck they are. It is perilous to commit to anything specific, such as a comment on their children or husband. If I can sustain the illusion I know them for three or four exchanges of comments, I often can lead them into saying something that tips me off about who they are, even if the name refuses to come.
Those of us who are of a certain age can take the easy way out: “I’m so sorry! I know your name as well as my own, but these days I have these senior moments! Help me out, will you?”
But that’s the coward’s way out. I prefer to tap-dance, giving my deodorant a real test. If I can get them to reveal who they are it is a tiny victory that makes me feel a little less of a doofus.
Congratulations, Dale! What an honor to host such a glamorous event. With your skills you could render the introduction as a chanted poem in the style of Robert Bly. The dude is pretty distinctive, after all, and you are Minnesota’s finest chameleon when it comes to affectionate parodies.
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Greetings! When that situation occurs, I might try what Barb does and see if the person says their name on their own accord. Otherwise, I will admit to being a space cadet and blanking on the name. Most people are understanding.
Dale, that sounds like a great workshop and concert combination. Enjoy and make the most of it!
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at an itro to old robert bly
my suggestion is to wear a tie
he’s a well known dude
and it might be thought rude
and before you go on check your fly
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LOL
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Nice tim!
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This is helpful advice tim.
I may have it tatooed upside down on my stomach so I can read it just before I go out. But then I will need another poem to remind me to tuck in my shirt.
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Dale,
I don’t generally read your blog, but this is how I know how to find you.
I miss the Morning Show. I’m realizing I miss it most with each changing season. Where are all those fall songs that conjure up warm, cozy feelings.
Would you ever consider making seasonal playlists?
Sincerely,
Sarah Jane
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Thanks for reading, commenting and making the suggestion, Sarah Jane.
Unfortunately, without access to the MPR library I’m not very good at conjuring up playlists. As you may sense from the question on today’s blog, my brain is a bit leaky.
However, the archived audio from my Radio Heartland show is still online.
You should be able to listen to the hours from 2009’s first day of Autumn by following this link.
Each hour has a “listen” button at the top!
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Fantastic. Thanks. Just so you know, you are much better than the computer.
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Uhhh…what was the question again?
Chris in Owatonna
😉
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Parking Lot Rage Story for Jacque:
I pulled into the lot and snicked my car into an open slot. This lot iss laid out so cars would park nose-to-nose. I was aware that I had parked the nose of my car close to the one in front. I jumped out.
A man in a suit with a Caribou Coffee standing by the other car screamed at me: “COULD YOU HAVE PARKED ANY CLOSER TO MY CAR?”
“Excuse me?”
Again, a primal scream: “I MEAN, COULD YOU HAVE PARKED ANY CLOSER TO MY CAR?”
“Let me get this right. I didn’t touch your car. Now you are screaming at me because my parking intruded on your personal space?”
He just stared daggers at me. I walked into the store. Poor SOB. He has just had a night of sleep and he is having his first cup of coffee. He’s in the best mood he’ll be in for the rest of the day!
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My first thought was to say ‘No, let me try it again’…. but you just can’t be sure of people’s reaction these days…..
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Good morning all. I guess it’s afternoon already. I’m still about 8 hours behind normal time.
I’m glad to hear that so many of you have had this experience. I’ve had it too – just as recently as this past weekend when suddenly I had about 5,000 close friends who I see only once a year. It happened in the reverse too: I came across an old friend and said, “Hi Steve! It’s good to see you!” He said, “It’s good to see you again, too. Could you remind me what your name is?” and laughed. I laughed too.
I have the same problem as Ben when faced with someone who is out of their psychologically allotted place and time. I’m certain that I know them but I have no idea how or why. Such an awkward feeling!
Dale, you will be great introducing Robert Bly! I can’t imagine a better person for the job. I also want to thank you very much for the wonderful endorsement for Rock Bend on Saturday’s post: Babooners Out and About. It was so nice of you to do that and you did such a nice job. It was great to see the link to Crooked Still. They were fantastic, by the way. It’s so nice to see young people performing music like that. I love it.
I’ll stop about Rock Bend for awhile now. I apologize for going on about it so much. It really absorbs all of my energy and is now over. It’s like withdrawal from a really strong drug. I’ll be fine.
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It’s mystifying isn’t it? Sometimes the issues people choose for conflict are stuff I just cannot relate to at all.
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I just barrel right over that speed bump, apologize for not remembering their name and then proceed to try and work in enough details about them into the conversation so they know that I know who they are.
I recently had the pleasure of the opposite sort of thing happening. An older couple struck up a conversation with me about the music at church. Then they noticed my college ring-turns out they are the parents of an old friend and knew who I was even though we had never met before.
Dale, you will be fine-in my experience, the big stars were never the problem, it is the wanna-be starlets who were always calling their agent. Mr. Bly seems more like the former than the latter.
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Oh dear, this happens to me more often than I like. I just try to get the person whose name I don’t know to say it. It would be worse to not remember people’s faces. That is called prosopagnosia. I just read an article by Oliver Sacks, the neurologist, who has who has had prosopagnosia all his life. He needs an assistant to remind him to whom he is speaking. He believes he inherited it from his mother.
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so what is it called when everyone looks like someone you know? my Mom is at a stage where she sees my brother on tv all of the time (where he absolutely is not). he was jumping cars a couple weeks ago (“don’t they need his permission to show that?”. last week he was playing football, baseball and basketball (“there’s never a name on his jersey”)! and he’s 58 – older than Favre! AND he has a day job! i think it’s kind of cool that, when she is missing him, she just turns on the tv and can see him.
i think we’ll call it proSONpagnosia, huh?
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So sad and so sweet at the same time.
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Several years ago, when I was doing commission sales of office supplies at a now-defunct mom-and-pop company, Robert Bly called me looking for a toner cartridge for his old, obsolete printer. I sold it to him for my cost but it was still a ridiculous price. If I remember right, it was like $230. I told him, “You could get a new printer for the same price.” He said, “Aaaaah, I like this one.” He said that I was the only sales person he’d found that took the time and trouble to look up the part number for this old printer and actually -help- him. I like to think of being the arbiter of ‘poetic justice’ for just that moment.
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Morning–
Kevin Kling– he is so much fun to listen too!
I’m terrible with names… especially if it’s someone ‘out of place’. The guy from the Agricultural office that I see at a school concert. Or the guy who delivers Diesel fuel when I run into him at a restaurant… really can’t place them then. And I’ll just bluff my way through it without any specifics.
When I man the roster book at elections I just plain tell them, I recognize you but I can’t remember your name. And they understand that after ____ number of people they’ve all just become a blur of faces….
(A story: A lady came to vote and her husband, who had passed away a few years before was still listed in the book. She said we should remove his name however if he came to vote she’d like to know about it.)
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Dale: I once heard Carol Bly introduced as the ex-wife (among other things) of one of America’s finest poets. So you could introduce him as the ex-husband of one of America’s finest prose writers and writing teachers, which is true.
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Dale – you always are a kind, knowledgeable and articulate host. you’ll think of something great. the last time (and first time) i saw Robert Bly was in the little auditorium of the mortuary science program at the U of M TC campus. was probably 1977?? he had a poncho on – no tie. but with all of those English-professors, etc. you might need a tweed jacket (my Steve is one of those types, less the tweed jacket now).
When we were at Virginia Tech all the profs wore tie/suit/good jacket to classes. didn’t make the classes any better than at the U where you could expect almost anything. i remember Vern Sutton one day came to music history in leggings and a fur jacket (was great, but i can’t remember who we were discussing – only the costume).
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a really big but fake fur jacket, i should say.
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Dale,
How about if you just go along BLYthely and say whatever comes to mind?
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Dale, what about making up a false biography about this Mr. Bly as a descendant of Captain Bly and Nellie Bly, and as possessing the most charming characteristics of his ancestors?
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Getting the name wrong: just watched history detectives story about a WWII POW who had his picture drawn by a fellow POW. So they went looking for the artist. Turns out the man who was drawn had the first name of the artist wrong. So they found the right man, published author named Harold Rhoden, but he died in 89. So they brought Harold Rhoden’s son to the house of the subject of the drawing. Very very moving story about POW’s and the human condition, especially for me who had an uncle spend 3 years as a POW (he enlisted in the Canadian Air Force well before Pearl Harbor, as many America men did).
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I have managed to train my two best friends to introduce themselves when they are out with me and I run into someone I know (that they don’t). They know that after a minute or two that if I could psychically send them a message it would be, “for the love of Pete please please introduce yourself so I can get this person’s name…” My pal Deb, especially is quick on the, “oh Anna can be forgetful/rude/fill in the blank – I’m Deb, and you are…?” After years of theater and Renaissance Festival (and non-profit work and…) there are a lot of memorable faces out there in the Twin Cities, often like with tim there are details I can remember of how I know the person, but the names that go with them have often made their escape. Husband is not so well trained.
So wish I could go to the conference – sounds like a fabulous time!
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In my case, it’s a different scenario. My friends avoid me so I’m likely alone when I run into the familiar stranger… “OMG, it’s so good to see you! How long do you suppose it’s been? Have you relocated since then? So what else is new? Oh fer sure, hot flashes are a bitch! HAHAHAHAHA.” End of conversation. She walks away feeling warm and fuzzy and I walk away saying, “Who the hell was that?”
Dale – you’ll be swell, you’ll be great! Watch out for deer.
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Posted the next day… fun reading, everyone!
Dale – if you wore something like the Vern Sutton costume (leggings and a [fake] fur jacket, no one would remember what you said to introduce Mr. Bly.
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Dale, you will do a fabulous job and I’m so sorry I will be out of town for the Sinclair Lewis event – he is my all-time favorite author and I have read most of his works 3-4 times.
Arrowsmith and Babbit are huge favorites. Have a wonderful time!
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