The Baboon Congress

First Grade With Dr. Franklin

41 Comments

Guest blog by Donna

Our school office regularly sends newsletters home to inform families about upcoming events, fundraisers, procedures, and other relevant items. A couple of years ago my colleagues and I were strongly invited to contribute to the newsletter by writing a few notes about the goings on in our classrooms. My turn fell on the week of my birthday, which made it very special … so special, that I submitted two descriptions.

Here’s the piece they rejected:

First graders in room 102 are learning about weather tools that can measure temperature, wind and rain. On Tuesday we taped crepe paper streamers to craft sticks and predicted which condition our tool would measure. Next we took our tools outside and observed what happened when we stood and held them above our heads. Then we tried walking, skipping and running with them. Back in our room we discussed our observations and concluded we had made the perfect tool for measuring how loudly we can scream and shout.

Next week we will take our inquiry a step further and design another weather tool. Scattered thunderstorms are forecasted so we will measure the intensity of lightning. Please send a wire coat hanger and pair of pliers with your child by Monday. Please include a pair of rubber-soled shoes for your child to keep in his locker, since we won’t know until we hear thunder that it is time to take our weather tools outside. Please sign and return the parental release form that you will find today in your child’s folder. And finally, a great big THANK YOU for helping your child explore the exciting world of weather!

“When is the use of satire inappropriate?”

41 thoughts on “First Grade With Dr. Franklin”

  1. oh, Donna. thanks for the laugh so early in the morning. it’s good to “see” you since i don’t read the late night blog, but i hear you’re in rare form!
    don’t ask me about when satire is inappropriate. not a good judge of that. one small example. in the early 80s i worked in a public health program in 5 southwest West Virginia coal counties. on days that folks came in to pick up vouchers, we would ask them to line up alphabetically (this line, A thru M e.g.). but in one town about 50% of the people had the same last name of “Christian.” so one day (i was young – no excuse, i suppose) i said “Christian’s in this line, Pagans in this line.” didn’t get even one laugh.
    off to milk early and then drive down to walk in the “Big Woods” near Nerstrand for my friend’s BD. lots of driving, but should be fun. late milking tonight – Girls won’t be happy.

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  3. What a great way to start my vacation! Laughing in the dark w/ the cat on my lap! Donna, I love your newsletter — I think satire is ALWAYS appropriate. Even the teenager now recognizes it because it’s used often around here.

    There’s lots on the calendar here today, ending with the homecoming dance tonight, so I’m sure there will be more drama than I want but hopefully several good opportunities for satire and maybe even sarcasm!

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      1. Anna – you wouldn’t believe the drama we’ve had. Dress, straps, shoes, more shoes, hair. I’m so glad she’s finally at the dance right now. She did find the metallic purple leggings (at Ragstock); she wore them Friday and came home panting saying they were too hot to wear to the football game today!

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  4. Rise and Chuckle Babooners:

    Satire can be so much fun, and your newsletter piece is a hoot, Donna! I hope you distributed the rejected piece to the teachers who have a sense of humor! One of my college friends who became a lawyer, state attorney, professor was nominated for the Supreme Court of Iowa. She asked me to send Governor Branstead, her sworn enemy and notorious curmudgeon, a recommendation. So I sent one as requested. To my friend I sent a copy, but it was underneath the satirical piece describing our misbehavior and exploits as college youth, including my sworn testimony that she never inhaled.

    Later she told me the first question he asked her in the interview was about her history of drug and alcohol use! She did not get the appointment. She is now a legal studies professor at Simpson college in Indianola, Iowa

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  5. donna, great piece, the smile at 7 is always welcome. satire and sarcasm are my favorite mode of function. if you can’t screw around its time to go home.my dad had lots of great expressions coming from fargo when the norwegians and swedes came over with thick accents and thicker translations,” f… em, feed em fish” was his expression for people who couldn’t take a joke. we heard it a lot. i gather it was not a common enough expression to get passed in in a lot of housholds so consider yourselves saturday blogger to have been graced with it here. it is something you can carry through life with you. its not satire but an excellent response to those who don’t get it don’t you think?

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  6. Greetings! About the only time satire or sarcasm aren’t appropriate is when dealing with special needs children. My 13-yr old with autism takes everything quite literally, especially when he was younger. I learned long ago (undoubtedly the hard way) about that one. Sometimes even common expressions can be confusing for him, but he’s got much better at understanding the more subtle nuances in speech and now has a fun sense of humor himself.

    Funny piece, Donna!

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    1. Joanne, do you remember the name of that series of kid books about the woman who takes everything literally and all the ensuing confusion that results? I’m blocking on the name.

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      3. Anna: One of the sweetest joys of my life was sharing with my little daughter the books that had meant a lot to me. At first I did that with some anxiety, fearing that she would reject a book I used to carry in my heart. Not to worry. Goodnight Moon and Winnie the Pooh and other classics are classic for a reason, and it was such a pleasure to see her face light up.

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      4. Steve – I am currently reading the “Little House” series to her at night. She’s enjoying it. Part of the fun is seeing what of my favorites she enjoys, and which don’t work for her. And then what new favorites we can find that we both enjoy (like the Fancy Nancy series that introduces 6-year-olds like “fabulous” and “extraordinary” and “posh”).

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  7. Good Morning Kids of Wit,

    I absolutely love the retorts, repartee, and reverie revealed on this blog. I also love alliteration and onomatopoeia. Woof!

    I’m off to Iowa where there’s no internet but will return tomorrow for catch up. I’ll have a few additional stories to post. Stay tuned!! (I stole that expression from Gus Connelly.)

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      1. My father was born in rural George, IA, but has a strange antipathy toward Iowa and all things Iowan and denies vehemently he as any connection with the state. He also has a Dutch last name and insists were are really French Huguenots. He is a master of satire and wry observations and rarely holds back. I think that satire is rarely inappropriate.

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      3. north dakota. at detroit lakes they call people form iowa striped whistlers. i asked one time why and was told when iowans go to get worms for bait they would inevitably ask “how much are those worms” and they’d be told “a dollar” and the response was always a whistle ” woooooooooo ( whistle sound) sure is a lot for worms? i said “ok but why stroiped whistlers not just whistlers? ” ” they would be doing this in their striped bib overalls. thus striped whistlers.” i forgot one time and was with a group of fargo guys and asked ” what was it you guys called people from iowa again and they answered in unison ” striped whistlers” so i know it was not just my cousins. it was the entire community.

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  8. My dad lived in Iowa for a year as a kid, does that count?…

    Satire is almost always in order, I think. Sarcasm, too. Daughter is finally getting old enough to appreciate both. (I’m starting to get eye rolls now when I ask things like, “I’m sorry, was it my turn to by psychic today?” or “Which third hand do you want me to use to hold your stuff, too?”)

    Happy weekend all! Fun week with the guest bloggers.

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  9. I’m surprised to see so many Baboons ready to endorse satire and sarcasm. As a former professional communicator, I can tell you it ain’t fun when your audience tells you how offended it was by your lame attempt at humor. Satire and sarcasm work best when you know your audience and your audience knows you, knowing better than to take you seriously all the time. From time to time, my efforts at humor caused pigheaded and overly sensitive readers to write me to say that they were going to cancel their subscription. I always wanted to tell them that that threat was so horrific that I was considering climbing into the bathtub, drinking myself into a stupor and then slashing my wrists with a little letter of apology pinned to my shirt. But, hey, they wouldn’t have seen the joke in that! Not everyone can carry off satire with the panache of our dear Tim.

    What a spectacular week. Enjoy it, dear Baboons. We know what is coming!

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    1. Excellent points, Steve. Yes, there are times when humor-impaired folks don’t quite grok sarcasm and satire. And there are some forms of extreme satire that can be quite offensive at times like “Family Guy” or “South Park” — both shows I have difficulty watching without trying to remember my Theater lectures on satire and what they’re trying to accomplish. Where’s that line between extreme satire and just plain bad taste? I remember watching the “Mind of Mencia” when we had cable. He’s an interesting comic along the lines of George Carlin, but deals head on with racism, sexism, the disabled, etc. — nothing was sacred in his show. I would watch it, laugh at the humor and feel uncomfortable with what he was showing to me about me. Anybody watch his stuff?

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  10. Good morning all,

    I guess some one doesn’t have a sense of humor at your school or perhaps you were pushing their buttons, Donna. Maybe you will not have to do any more writing for the news letter.

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  11. Afternoon!

    We have raised our kids to be affectionados of sarcasm… they give as good as they get!

    How’s that T-shirt go, “National Sarcasm Society- Yeah, like we need your support”

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  12. Good one, Ben, that t-shirt. And great lol, Donna.

    Late posting, we just got back from an overnight to Paynesville and New Ulm (long story). I have to agree with Steve, it works so well if you know who you’re dealing with. I’ll have to think more of an example.

    Have a glorious rest of weekend, ‘Booners! And yes, I’m another Iowan…

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    1. One of the ironies here is that Iowa is anti-sarcasm and anti-satire. We were raised to be “nice,” which is a posture from which satire is difficult. My high school drama class was so proud of the fact “The Music Man” was set in Iowa, for we were accustomed to being overlooked by the culture czars of New York City. Then our drama teacher dropped a bomb by saying, “You do know, don’t you, that ‘The Music Man’ satirizes Iowa?” Stunned silence. “Makes fun of Iowa. Jeers at Iowa.” Oh.

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  13. Ah, I feel like I’m all alone in an empty schoolhouse here. Here’s a little quiz in case any of you have trouble sleeping and drop by again.

    What is the most deliciously ironic moment in all of cinema?

    (think)

    (think)

    Answer: the final three minutes or so of “The Crying Game” as Tammy Wynette sings “Stand By Your Man”

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    1. Here’s irony for you. My dad used to go fishing with a retired Rear Admiral who didn’t know how to run or steer the Lund fishing boat they used.

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  14. this weekends guest blogger was donna
    blogged on satire and said if you wanna
    discuss baboon humor
    there has been a rumor
    that it sank last week in owatonna

    sarcasm is also a trait
    of babooners who tend to create
    a story that comes back around
    once the punchlines been found
    if tea comes out your nose , well thats great

    a blog line on humor is done
    it was enjoyed by most everyone
    while dale’s away
    the bloggers did play
    and now the time without dales almost done

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    1. All I can come up with is to replace “done” in the last phrase with “gone”…which takes care of the repeated word, but still is not fabulous. Maybe I’ll think more over another glass of wine…

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  16. Tim – I like your poem just the way it is.

    Beautiful weekend, huh kids? Even in Iowa.

    Well said, Baboons – knowing your audience is extremely important when it comes to thinking you’re funny. I find it works best with my children. They laugh at my jokes because they know I’m good for 100 bucks in their birthday cards

    True story – when my kids were little, I would leave the bathroom door unlocked when I showered, just in case someone needed to potty or puke. One day just as I was climbing out, Eric, age three, walked in. He was sucking his thumb and dragging his blanket. He looked at me, moved his thumb to the side of his mouth and mumbled, “You hab a thupid penith.” I’m not sure what form of humor that was, but it makes me laugh to this day.

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