Dear Dr. Babooner,
I’m a political candidate for a major state office and I’m so excited about Election Day I can hardly wait! After months and months of trying to connect with the voters they will finally decide and even if I lose I won’t be mad because the end of the campaign means I can stop hanging out with my opponents. I don’t think the three guys who went to the moon were together as much as we’ve been in the last few weeks. Honestly, I see them more than the people in my family. If it’s Tuesday, this must be the breakfast forum at the League of Earnest Accountants.
It has come to the point where I know the other side’s arguments as well as my own. I never expected to memorize so many reasons why I’m inadequate, but I guess that’s what a career in politics does for you. Don’t get me wrong. They’re nice enough people, but there are limits to togetherness, or there should be. Even with people you sort of like you can know too much, and right now I feel like I know WAY too much about me and him and him. And confidentially, Dr. Babooner, I’m starting to think none of us would be a very good choice. Hope the voters don’t find out!
But that’s not my question. My problem has to do with etiquette, and this is it – even after all the struggling and maneuvering for an advantage, when we have our final debate I suspect I’ll be saying goodbye to these guys for quite a while, maybe forever. I think I’m going to miss them. Should I bring parting gifts, and if so, what?
Sincerely,
One of Three
I told One of Three it would be a very nice gesture to bring gifts for his political opponents on the occasion of their final debate, and by now he should know enough about them to buy just the right thing.
The hard part is how to bestow these gifts, since he will probably have to do it when they are all standing there together. It would be tacky to get each one the same item, like, say, a fruit basket. But he would want to be sure to spend roughly the same amount – it’s embarrassing to have a huge disparity in gift value, especially if one of the recipients is wealthy and the other is not.
And although they’ve spent a lot of time talking about it, cash is probably not a good choice as a parting gift for one’s political opponents.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
Morning all! Just switched over from yesterday’s topic… kinda fun.
I am big on hand-made gifts – so that’s what I would suggest. Maybe a hand-lettered plaque for each of them – words to be supplied by others on this blog, since my brain is not quite functional this morning. This way, the dollar amount will be the same, but you can make the wording on each plaque different so they don’t feel like you just went out and got two of the same thing!
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for both (they seem like they are really the same person in different clothing): nothing except a card – “cut backs, you know” or say the gift money was “unalloted”
please save the money for the People of Minnesota who really need your help
sorry, i should really let you come to your own conclusion, OoT – do what you think is right. (assuming you are who i think you are – if you are NOT… well, you wouldn’t be thinking of giving a gift to anyone then, would you?)
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i have a hard time giving gifts to people wh say awful things about me and suggest that i am a liar a loser and a bad person to follow. i guess its just me. the guys who say they are good at answering the complicated questions to life and i am not make me angry. people like to argue these days. maybe just get them a season of bill o’reily and rush limbaugh ( surely those seasons are available too just like friends or entorage) and let them sit home and listen to pampas asses berate their guests make snide comments and have the power to shut the guests up and listen to their own bile as it oozes out of their now targetless pieholes. good riddence and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. i was about to renew my subscription to the star and trib yeterday when i head they had takedn the chicken shirt way out in endorsing hoerner. they didn’t upset ither side by taking the polar opposite of what we believe in. they took the middler who stands for what? the middle. sign me up…not.
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this blaming of the democrats for the bale out and the stimulas program just prove what a bunch of brainless slugs the republicans think they are talking to (and they my be) why do they think all those programs were needed, did they forget that tara was on fore when obama walked in? you need to throw a little water on it rather than let it burn. it would be interesting to let the gop fix their own mess if it wasn’t for the fact that they would rewrite all the rules to provide entitlement for the chosen 5% while they were employing the smoke and mirrors to shuffle the problems into a newly invented bookeeping program that makes it disappear until the next dem shows up in office. maybe thats the gift a bottle of liquid smoke and a mirror for one and a set of juggling balls for the other so they can continue with their mo for the next fistful of years as they remember the year they almost made it over the guy who is going to get 4 thousand from a millionaire instead of 500 a piece from everyone who breathes in the state. we will deal with education later…when its all good. yeah thats the ticket. back to lala land leaders,
try the bible thumping,illeagal alien scare, abortion alienation, mom and apple pie chest pumping. michele bachman voted against bushs bail out. funnnnnny!!!sara palin and ron pauls kid are the poster boys for newt gingrichs and carl roves gospel of hate.lead on the poor scared sheep. bless you all and bless us if you succeed.
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I’d have no gift for Tom Horner, but I’d like to give Tom Emmer two gifts. One would be a heart, since he clearly doesn’t have heart or maybe he has one that is grossly defective. And I’d like to give him Paul Wellstone’s book, The Conscience of a Liberal. For that matter, the book by Paul Krugman with the same title might be appropriate. Heck, I’m feeling generous. Let’s give Emmer Al Franken’s book Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Liar. The heart I give him will be made of chocolate so he can eat his heart out when he loses.
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Good morning Dr. Babooners,
One of Three, I can’t believe that you want to give your opponents gifts. How about just giving them a collection of your campaign stickers and buttons. In this polictical climate I don’t think you stand a chance of getting elected if you aren’t a hard nosed campaigner who would never give an opponent a nice gift. Maybe you could just give them gift cards to a bad restaurant
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I think a restaurant gift card would be an excellent gift for Tom Emmer – let’s see what kind of service he gets from the waitstaff.
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Or a Macy’s card for Mark Dayton?
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Heavens!
Clearly no one believes that three political opponents who have been spending so much time together might eventually begin to like each other in spite of their ideological differences.
Perhaps this idea falls into the literary genre of magical realism.
Maybe some light reading – books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez or Franz Kafka might be appropriate.
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Dale, if their differences were mainly ideological they might become friends. It seems we are dealing primarily with idiotological differences between opponents these days, not ideological differences. Well, I guess there are some that are more intelligent in their approaches to campaining, but there doesn’t seem to be very many of those and they hardly seem to be noticed. I believe the writtings of Marquez and Kafka might include some fictiticous charters that resemble some members of our current crop of politicans.
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love “idiotological” – can that go in the TB dictionary, Jacque???
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LOL, Jim, great word!
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Dale: My experience has been that campaigns foster mutual contempt, but your vision of politicians enjoying each other in spite of ideological differences is accurate for the Minnesota Senate and even more for the House of Representatives. Legislators lead bizarre lives, working long hours and enduring insults from many quarters. It is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever seen, and your reward is that every two years (for a Rep) you go hat in hand to plead for the right to keep your job. In a sense, nobody understands how stressful and weird all of this is except other Reps, so even in these nasty times it remains true that Reps from different parties feel kinship for each other.
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I think it would be nice to give a personalized quilt with designs from each of the losers’ campaigns and political party. In the center of the quilts, of course, would be one of the winner’s symbols. Think of the lovely memories those quilts would inspire!
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I regret being the bearer of bad news, but yesterday it was announced that a moutain goat in Washington state had killed a hiker. Gored him in the leg and then wouldn’t let rescuers get in to offer first aid. That’s got to be one of the most exotic ways to die: gored by a wild goat.
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it’s breeding season – those bucks get pretty feisty. but what a way to go. i have a good-natured buck, but during these times i don’t turn my back on him. he’s a little bedazzeled right now.
sorry for the poor person who was gored (hard to imagine how that happened)
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him, sorry for him. that makes more sense …. the buck probably could smell the testosterone and was thinking competition.
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Being a fan of Miss Manners (and enough of a groupie that I even went to a reading for one of her books and had it signed), I would say a nicely written note is always in order. Handwritten, of course, on nice white or cream paper in black or blue-black ink. Take a few minutes to reflect on perhaps one thing that was memorable about each of your opponents or some enjoyable interlude at the breakfast for Uncertain Ungulates. A handful of kind words could have a great impact, and civility is certainly something in short supply these days, it seems.
And then, when you win (I, too, am hoping that you are who I think you are OoT), pack up your favorite books to bring with you to the governors mansion (I’m betting that somewhere in there is Wellstone’s book and maybe even an old dog-eared copy of Michael Harrington’s “The Other America”) and indulge in a “neener neener neener” at your opponents. But perhaps that last bit should be in private where the media can’t see it and conservative bloggers can’t blow it out of proportion.
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Anna, I was raised to practice good manners and I think they are desireable. However, I think a lack of good manners is not really the problem with politics as it is now being practiced. Certainly better manners would be an improvement.
What would really improve things would be a good presentation of the important issues we are facing and possible solutions. We are still being told that a legitimate debate is going on between Republicans, who are conservatives and Democratics, who are liberals. Actually the true issues are discussed only in a very limited way and false issues that play on the public’s fears about the losing our wonderful American way of life seem to dominate the campaignes. In this approach some canidates are heavily playing the fear card and others are spending much time defending themselves from those that portray them as enemies of the American way of life.
I am probably preaching to the choir and I think you are pointing out the need for manners as a joke and might more or less agree with what I have said.
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Yep – pretty much sums up my thoughts, Jim.
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Morning–
The more I’m around this type of thing the more interesting I think it becomes. “We can agree to disagree”. Football strikes me the same way; The opposing teams try to kill each other during the game, then hug and shake hands and talk about family afterward…
Granted, personal attacks are not necessary nor should they be taken lightly, but what’s the phase? “It’s business, it’s not personal”…
Gifts? Not necessary. Shake hands, wish them luck (win or lose) and go back to your family; *THAT’S* the best gift… (ask my wife!)
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Does that mean your show is open?
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MIG-
Nope… 9 days, 8 hours, 53 minutes; not that any of us are counting….
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Been there, feel your pain.
I’ve always said the best thing about working live theatre is that the show HAS to open, ready or not.
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Yep; and my plans are revising daily!
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Rise and Shine Babooners:
Well, I am back from my blacation in Iowa. I even accidentally walked off without my computer which was all packed up and ready to go. I could not even check my email or transfer money to my checking account!
I had a good time. One afternoon we toured Amish Country and the Amana Colonies (which FYI, are not related to one another, despite the similar names. The Amanas were a utopian communal settlement and the Amish are the Plain People). This inspired the gift I would suggest the candidates give one another:
Two weeks on an Amish farm, tilling the earth and caring for the horses. That should put life in the 21st century in perspective. No political ads, either.
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Welcome back, Jacque. The two weeks on an Amish farm might be a good gift for all our public servants to enjoy simultaneously, perhaps just before the start of the next legislative session. If they built a barn together, what sort of barn would it be? Real, or theoretical?
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A barn built by politicians? It would probably have six sides, no doors and toilets that cost thousands each!
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ANd the hay mow would leak, but there would be a fabulous staff lounge for the pols.
The pork barrel would be bigger than the barn itself.
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A committee would have to be formed. They would thoroughly discuss the barn and assign tasks. This stage could take up to six months.
If all goes well, one or more committee members will draw up a project proposal which will include estimates for surveying the site, estimates for engineering and architectural contractor fees, an itemized list of materials needed for building the barn and the estimated cost of each item, numbers and types of trade workers needed and their required labor hours at the professional services rate for each trade, insurance liability costs for each contractor, estimated fuel costs for each vehicle used and for any heavy equipment used, estimated costs for training and safety and personal protective equipment, etc., etc.
The proposal stage can take awhile. A lot of estimates are needed and a lot of plans have to be drawn up. When the proposal is complete, it will be sent to an oversight committee for approval. If it passes that committee, it will then have to wait for legislative approval on funding for the project. If it again passes and funding is approved, it will likely be another two years before the barn is complete. By then, they will be planning for another election cycle.
So, in theory, it could be a real barn, Dale. These things take time.
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I’m sure to regret this, but I am raising a protest against the trashing of politicians. People who are drawn to public service are mostly like any group of high-achieving Americans except they tend to be a bit more idealistic when they first get involved. Some of that is stripped away from them as they experience the extraordinary demands we make of public servants, and idealism is difficult to maintain in the face of all the corrosive influences of interest groups and the influence of money.
We are living in an age of great cynicism toward all institutions, with government just being one institution that is no longer revered. So who would we have running this country? How about businessmen, those competent and realistic fellows whose ethics are so often defined by the bottom line, the people who gave us Enron? Nah, I’ve got my doubts. How about military leaders, those disciplined and courageous folks who gave us the Iraqi war? Hmm, I might pass on that one. How about the clergy, those spiritually advanced ethical leaders who have campaigned against gay marriage and choice (not to mention the hanky panky with altar boys when nobody is looking)? I think not. Teachers? Should we have public policy as shabby as many of our public schools? That scares me.
To repeat, we live in an age of ferocious cynicism and not a single institution has survived with much of its former reputation intact. On the whole, our politicians are not much better and not much worse than the rest of us who vote them in. And, that being true, god help us!
From where I sit, we are in trouble, partly because we have so much contempt for the people who are trying to manage our public policy. It would be nice if we could turn the reins of government over to goat farmers, for they seem like a pretty nice bunch of people who don’t have fancy notions about themselves, but there might not be enough of them.
Until we get their numbers up and somehow trick them into running for office, we’re stuck with the discordant braying donkeys currently running things. My notion would be to offer respect and support to the best of them and to meanwhile do whatever it takes to reform the institutions of the corrupting influence of money.
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Well said, Steve. I agreed with your screed wholeheartedly, particularly the part about the need for more goat farmers in public life.
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Well said, Steve! While it’s easy to trash the politicians and hold them to impossible standards, they need our support and respect. As a voting public, we also need to see the bigger picture and vote for what’s right for our city, state and country — not just for our personal ideas and whims. The Big Lake School Referendum was voted down 3 or 4 times in a row to increase property taxes by an average of $10/month to increase funding for our schools. While I understand hard times pretty well, $10/month is a bargain for a better education system. Because, guess what — all those kids become your co-workers (even if you don’t have kids) or work at the bank or power plant where they need to use what they learned to serve and protect the rest of us.
I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but it’s amazing how shortsighted some folks are in order to save a few of their dollars.
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a light in the wilderness, thanks steve, well said.
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i just heard fritz mondale on the radio and want to thank him and the other models from humphry to ramstead as to the great examples of how to differ with you opponents respectfully. i was a l ittle frustrated as to how civil he was to norm coleman but that is who he is. a great man. he will be on mpr in the studio on friday. may be worth a listen
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I’m grumpy today and not feeling at all polite or conciliatory. Give them both the flu, OoT. It’s impartial and will cause them to ponder the importance of health care.
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I’d burn each of them a CD of some of my favorite tunes. That’s all I can think of. They already know how to read.
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