After three straight days of headline news about the worldwide antics of Bad Weather, a frustrated sibling challenged the media, particularly those that cover the family business, to “stop enabling this extreme behavior.”
At a hastily called press conference on a bright beach in Belize, Good Weather uncharacteristically blasted the world’s press for focusing almost exclusively on blizzards, rain storms and cold snaps that have interfered with air travel and inconvenienced millions of people across Europe and the United States this December.
“What does it take to get a little attention?” the sunniest offspring of the Weather clan hotly asked reporters. “I’m keeping the skies crystal clear over Hawaii and all I hear is how they’ve got too much rain in Los Angeles. I whip up some mild, fragrant breezes in Tel Aviv and there’s a live shot on ESPN of people pushing snow off fake grass in Minnesota. A bunch of travelers get stuck in airports all over Europe and it leads the news. Meanwhile, the neighbors of those very same people are relaxing on a patio in Thailand, enjoying tropical fruit drinks and an amazing sunset they’ll remember forever, thanks to ME, and there’s not a mention of it anywhere – not even in a friggin’ blog, the lowest form of news coverage on the planet.”
During this tirade, a brief thunderstorm erupted on the beach, sending reporters scurrying to the hotel lobby. The episode quickly turned to a light mist, followed by rapid clearing and a breathtakingly calm twilight perfect for a romantic walk in the surf, but by then the world’s media had started their bar tabs and many refused to return to the outdoor briefing room.
In a press release distributed at the bar an hour later, Good Weather apologized for the outburst but noted that “my best attempt at producing something inclement only led to a more beautiful evening,” and warned the media that rewarding Bad Weather’s “over-the-top, attention-hogging theatrics that create crop damage, erosion, destruction of property and massive population displacement” will only lead to more of the same.
Efforts to contact Bad Weather for a comment were unsuccessful, as most of its locations were under some sort of service outage yesterday.
Mother Earth declined to express an opinion on the disagreement, but pointed out that the Weather family is quite extensive. In addition to Good and Bad there are more moderate siblings, Mild, Heavy, Beautiful, Rough and Balmy. “Bad and Good have always been carping at each other and begging for attention,” said the matriarch of the Weather family. “I love all my children. Good has always been best behaved but is extremely sensitive, and Bad is by far the most interesting.”
Who was the favored sibling in your family?

Just wondering, Dale–trying to keep everyone warm by opening up that volatile can of worms?
Short answer is- youngest brother. He who got the dog I always wanted (but I only got brothers, sigh).
LikeLike
I never thought of it that way, mig, but yes. Consider this another form of canned heat.
LikeLike
Rise and Shine Baboons:
And the winner is (rip the envelope): My Sister. And my brother and I have never let my mother forget it!
My sister is the middle child. She was born only months after my dad’s beloved mother died. This was a woman everyone seemed to deeply love and admire. My sister looks and behaves much like her.
But it isn’t FAIR!
LikeLike
When I was little I was sure my younger sister was the favorite because she was sickly, had open heart surgery and generally garnered a lot of attention. But looking back on my life, I’ve decided that I must be the favored child, because I got a life that I adore and how else could that have happened!?
Off to dig out the bottom of the driveway again!
LikeLike
cool – verily.
LikeLike
Good point. The question isn’t specific about who is or is not doing the favoring. But there are people who would find it impossible to adore a life that includes digging out the bottom of the driveway.
LikeLike
Ah well…
LikeLike
Verily, Sherrilee, you are the wealthiest of all!
LikeLike
I am an only, so I guess I am the favored child. My children, who are 9 years apart, both believe that the other is the favored child.
LikeLike
definitely my brother. at least on my Mom’s part.
but i suspect my Dad liked us both. i started out as a disappointment – was supposed to be a boy. six years later, when Dave was born, Dad was happy; but by then he had gotten used to having a girl, so he enjoyed us both. when i was cleaning out my Mom’s house i found the bill for David’s birth in 1952 – hospital, doctor, prenatal care, the whole shebang was $97.12. a really good price for a boy.
a good and gracious and snowy morning to You All
looks like we got about six inches of light, fluffy. (Steve’s out shoveling 🙂
LikeLike
Your parents got a bargain. I bought my house before the s&h’s first birthday and was amused to find that the asking price for the house was less than the total bill for the boy.
Thrifty house, expensive birth. Both worth every penny. S&h is definitely the favorite (and only) child (he informs me regularly that I am also his favorite mom).
LikeLike
I managed to grow up in a house without a “favorite” – my brother and I were appreciated for our different talents. Like anyone, there were times I was pretty convinced my big brother was favored (he was smarter, better at music, good at cross-country skiing…fill in the blank), but then just when I was becoming convinced of this, my darn parents would do or say something noting my particular skills or talents or abilities. Darn them anyway – being fair and good and liking each other besides. How am I supposed to turn anything fabulous and creative in a way that will make me tons of money if I grew up with a happy, supportive family?…
LikeLike
I’m with you, Anna. A writer raised in a peaceful, supportive setting ought to be able to buy a little dysfunction every now and then to feed the creative juices. There are certainly enough people trying to unload some. Maybe this is the commodity we need to manage through cap-and-trade.
LikeLike
I like it! A market trading function/dysfunction. I’m thinking it could work a little like a Maury Povich show…with maybe a little less chair throwing. Or maybe those trading in functional/supportive would sit in comfortable chairs and those trading in dysfunction would lie on chaises/couches.
LikeLike
What a concept. When I was writing my family’s history, I kept wringing my hands and bemoaning the lack of convicted criminals in the family. What I would have given to have a brother who had a dozen different personalities! A memoir without scandals is like a Hollywood movie without a car chase or explosion.
Of course, that doesn’t slow up some writers. Augusten Burroughs and others solve the problem of insufficient family horrors by making stuff up.
LikeLike
My youngest daughter has often commented that she craved a little more dysfunction in the family growing up. She’s not a writer yet, but she has some strong writerly tendencies and that may be the root of her dissatisfaction with insufficient dysfunction.
LikeLike
…or you can marry into a dysfunctional family and sometimes get enough fodder for several books, an R rated movie…
LikeLike
I could volunteer my family and we could specify no chair throwing while on duty
LikeLike
This cap and trade thing re: spreading dysfunction about–I like it. I might be able to provide a few contacts for dysfunction to sell! We could issue shares and trade indexes in the name of “Baboon Commodities.”
However, anyone who is truly creative really SHOULD be able to make some up. Just call it fiction, because that is what it really is when you make things up. Or lying. But professional, convincing liars are novelists which is….fiction.
LikeLike
or politics
LikeLike
The one I really love is the woman who wrote a book-length memoir about how she survived the Holocaust, a perilous time for Jews in Europe. She described how she wandered the face of Europe in the protection of a pack of wolves. The book was all set to be published when the publisher got cold feet and decided to investigate it. Well, gee, it seems she had amped up her story a little. She hadn’t wandered all over Europe. She was never in the care of a pack of wolves, believe it or not. And in fact, she wasn’t even Jewish! Oy weh!
LikeLike
There are 5 of us and all agree that my parents had no favorites-they didn’t like any of us. This statement is made openly and my parents agree. It leaves us strong enuff to deal with freezing rain on top of snow!
LikeLike
Snorting tea!
LikeLike
that makes me laugh too!
LikeLike
Greetings! There were 7 of us, so it was easy to figure that someone else was getting attention. But Andy as the only boy was surely the winner. He was the only one who had his own room, wasn’t assigned a dish washing day or other house chores — although he helped Dad with the outside stuff I’m sure. Otherwise, Lori was the one I was most jealous of because she was pretty, witty, outgoing and always had boyfriends in high school it seemed. I was homely, wore thick glasses, stuttered, very shy and definitely NO boyfriends in high school. Thank God we live through adolescence to see what life is really like.
Andy and Lori may have garnered more attention, but we were truly loved and treated equally in life, I believe. Everything in my parents’ wills, insurance policies, pensions, savings, etc., were divided equally amongst all of us.
LikeLike
I would have to say , of my 2 brothers, sister and I, my sister got preferential treatment from my mom’s father. How ever I think I was my mom’s favorite… I could be mistaken. I’ll ask my sister!
once when we were young, of all of us to go on a trip with my Mom’s (semi-rich) dad was my sister. The boys ‘got to’ work on trimming the branches at his home once. I did get a couple end table’s and lamps as wedding gift’s that belonged to him, (posthumously) so I think it was more my mom’s idea. Our memory is a strange thing, I think we let our emotion color it more than we are aware. I don’t have any real resentments that keep me from enjoying my family visits. And even though I felt I was special to my mom, it was my sister who called and talked to her almost every day and felt the loss more deeply than any of us boys when she passed.
LikeLike
Oh Dale, you have a twisted mind to ask that question at this time of year. Are you one of those people who go to auto races hoping to see an accident?
I am an only child, and my sister would be the first to tell you so. It has been a strange experience. What was easy for me was difficult for my sister. I never kept score on who had the better life, but then I didn’t have to; she did.
One consequence of this is that my sister became the private investigator of family scandals because she worked so hard to find evidence confirming her conviction that she had been adopted. If she hadn’t worked so hard to prove that point I wouldn’t have known that my sweet, avuncular grandfather was a horny old hound dog who had to get married because my grandmother was knocked up.
My parents would have faced a firing squad before admitting they had a favorite child. They are gone now. Unfortunately, they died before my sister and I worked out a relationship of mutual regard and civility so we can talk about this volatile issue—talking about it, although we generally disagree on facts. My parents would have been amused and pleased to learn that my sister and I are friends now.
LikeLike
Hoping to see an accident? No, but I would go fully expecting one, and would be rather anxious to get it over with. But yes to the larger question.
With tim on vacation and Clyde away for a few days, I thought perhaps I needed to toss some red meat into the ring to keep the conversation going.
Is that so wrong?
LikeLike
Ask me in a month.
LikeLike
So if we extend this metaphor, does it mean that tim and Clyde are the red meat and the rest of us are the beasts?
LikeLike
i could try writing in all lower case and see if i can manage the stream of consciousness and energy for all things that tim manages to generate and then talk about this other thing that’s really cool and exciting but i just don’t think i have it in me i am too taciturn. maybe it’s the lack of conflict growing up. or the lack of a pedal tractor as a kid.
LikeLike
Give me five scotches and I could type like Clyde. Better make that six.
LikeLike
I think you’re doing fine. Blogging inine for rock and roll roller coaster is definately a different stream of consciousness
My three sins and I are as different as the seasons I am oldest, brother is quiet and very detail oriented, pauljonesmusic dot com show his virtuosity. Sister is a teacher(2nd grade) canoe enthusiast with patience and moral vision, youngest sister is a bible thumping flight attendant screaming fighting maniac so I am the only normal one but as you all may have noticed normal is relative in the world dysfunction. In the world of baboon land who are the favored children, barb in blackhoof, Jacque and steve are the foundation jim is thesound of reason. Tgith is here for comic relief with cynasysim as his vehicle clyde the sky pilot Anna beth ann joanne sherrillee and mig as the steadfast, Alanna chitrader elinor Kay and crystal bay as the ebb and tide of life enjoyed but spurratic Caroline and the new blood that keeps it fresh and dales own voice of reason and twisted guidance . Talk snout dysfunctional and look how well we all get along.keep it coming gang, long days with this damn phone text with all these Capital letters to look at. There’s no place like home theres no place like home there’s no place like home
LikeLike
Love your brother’s music Tim. I’m going to try to get to Dunn Brothers on Grand to see/hear him on 2/3 if I can use my calendaring skills effectively.
LikeLike
Thanks Caroline, he is something on guitar,banjo dobro pedal steel. Dunn brothers pay one pound of coffee but he just loves playing 2/3 huh? Maybe I can make that one too
LikeLike
There were four of us, spread out over 16 years; girls on both ends, boys in the middle. I was the oldest and never doubted for a minute that my parents adored me and my siblings. I know there were a few years when my parents doubted whether I loved them. My mom still says that I’d have been in boarding school if they could have afforded it. My younger brother demanded (and required) the most attention, but I don’t think he was favored. My father died at age 47 when I was all ready married with a daughter of my own and my oldest brother was in the Marines. My little sister and youngest brother were 7 and 14, so they bonded pretty tightly with our mom while they were the only ones left at home.
LikeLike
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my dad’s death. That wasn’t a good Christmas.
LikeLike
How long ago?
LikeLike
Anniversaries like that can be really tough. My sympathies to you (and wishes of good memories to fill the day).
LikeLike
Wow, must be 38 years. Time at least numbs all wounds.
LikeLike
Yes.
LikeLike
Oh, Barbara!
LikeLike
BiR… thinking of you this Solstice. Blessings for you!
LikeLike
I really meant that “yes” – this year is much easier, and all I can think of is that enough time has passed to numb that particular wound a bit. I appreciate your bring it up, Caroline; the effect was that I can notice it.
LikeLike
Reading the mobile version today as I sit and wait… It got a new look a couple weeks ago.
I am the favorite. …he said without a trace of guilt…
More later on a real keyboard…
LikeLike
Chicken
LikeLike
Huh… what’s curious is the fact when I tried to send it I got an error so I didn’t know anybody had read my reply… thank goodness all three postings didn’t show up as I repeatedly pushed the ‘send’ button and muttered “…error my foot!”
Anyway…
Five in my family and we’re all special in our own way. Of course we are. But I’m still the favorite because I’m the youngest and I got away with everything plus I took over the farm. I may have been the accident but I’m the good accident. And there are no ‘Accidents’, only ‘Incidents’…
You talk about marrying into dysfunctional…. seen that, will say no more to protect the guilty and innocent.
Tootles!
LikeLike
LOL, everyone! I’ve felt that my folks, esp. Mom, were more comfortable with me, as I am more like them than my one younger sister. She was a more difficult personality, “Sobersides” as a baby and my job was always to make her laugh. She stretched the rules more than I did, was a bit more rebellious. But I really think they loved us both and treated us fairly. I should ask Sue, though.
Just finished a Ruth Rendell mystery, Harm Done , where Lt. Wexford is struggling with the fact that he really does favor one daughter, and how he can mend the relationship with the other…
LikeLike
What about your family, Dale?
LikeLike
Well, if you had asked my brother, he probably would have told you that I was the favorite. But he was much more interesting.
LikeLike
what was interesting about your brother?
LikeLike
I wish Tim was on the blog today. I’d love to tell him that Replacements, Ltd. located one soup spoon for my pattern. Only 7 left to find. I’m sure he’d be thrilled.
LikeLike
he would, i’m sure, be thrilled in a lower case sort of way. 🙂
LikeLike
teeeheeheehee
LikeLike
I always thought the teaspoons were the lower case ones-soup spoons always seem so capitalized.
LikeLike
when you’re living in sin it is a lower-case relationship. Marriage is capital letters.
LikeLike
with a question mark at the end of the sentance
LikeLike
What’s your pattern? You never know who might see what where.
LikeLike
Tristan by Gorham. Over the past 27 years I lost all but 4 oval soup spoons.
LikeLike
I’ll keep an eye out.
LikeLike
This place appears to have your spoons but I don’t know wnaything about their reputation or if, when you go to check out they will change their mind about having them in stock. Might be worth a look though. Good luck.
http://pastpresent.net/cy_BuildSearch.asp?sid=672677710&sn=6&tpl=101&svsp1=All+Our+Products&svsp2=Gorham&cpg=1&sp2=Gorham&sp1=Stainless&sp4=Tristan&patid=&fnd=0901
LikeLike
Try just http://www.pastpresent.net .
LikeLike
Whoo hoo, thanks, Caroline. They seem to have them in stock. Now you will all be able to come over for soup!
LikeLike
life can be simple
LikeLike
I’d like to say that it’s my brother, the middle sibling. I’m the oldest and the only girl. Dad was really disappointed that I wasn’t a boy and even told me so once. (No, I’m not joking.) I was the black sheep and caused my parents lots of angst through the 70s. I had an irrepressible nature and wanted to experience everything at once, especially the music that was so vital and powerful in those days. My family, as previously noted, is conservative. I don’t know how I came to be the way I am. There’s nothing in nature or nurture that should have made me the wild child I was.
My dad paid for much of both of my brothers’ college educations: Eric’s first degree in Economics from the U of M and Kurt’s degree in Economics from St. Olaf. My dad told me the only education he would help me with was dental hygiene school. 😦 I was going to St. Olaf for music in 1977. It would have been a LOT cheaper then. But I had to get a job and try to work and go to St. Olaf at the same time. It didn’t work out.
My mom seems to favor each of us in turns. I’ve been the “fortunate” one these last several years, but I’ve also been the one she calls when she falls and breaks her arm. I’m the one who is free to drop everything and go stay with her for a week when she needs help. I’m not a black sheep anymore, but I still have my moments…
If anybody is really in need of some dysfunction, I’ve got plenty to go around!
Thank you all for your good, positive wishes yesterday. My interview is at 8 a.m. tomorrow. It’s for a LPN job in the State Corrections system. It’s daunting to consider working there. I’m hoping it will lead to more challenges, better income, more time for my creative side, and a more positive self-image. I’ve been an administrative assistant in DNR for 16 years and a LPN for the Faribault Regional Center for 17 years before that. Onward! Onward!
Thanks again, you all! And a Happy Winter Solstice to you!
LikeLike
One of the best gifts I got from my parents (especially my dad) was the notion that your work does not completely define who you are. You can find a job that pays the bills and fulfills what you want to do for work, but it’s okay/good/sometimes just right to have a job that you can leave at work so you can pursue your passions outside of the workplace. Fingers crossed on the LPN gig – may it work well and leave you with the energy you need for music and other pursuits as well. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you! My thoughts exactly!
LikeLike
Not easy to get to you before your interview tomorrow morning Krista, so good wishes coming your way both now and then. Knock ’em dead! And if this isn’t the right time, place, job, etc. it doesn’t mean it isn’t still out there, like dawn after the longest night.
LikeLike
Like Caroline, I am thinking I might not get a message out before your interview. My mantra on this is “send Krista something good”.
LikeLike
OT – but back to our last Dr. Babooner letter – it is clearly “Gain 10 lbs in One Day” day at work today. Started with upper management buying donuts, bagels, rolls, muffins and coffee (and nary a healthy fruit to be seen) for the whole floor/division. Then they came out with cookies and more snacks around lunch time. A co-worker brought in peanut clusters to share. And a Dairy Queen cake just showed up, too…just roll me down the steps at the end of the day…
LikeLike
A carb load to boost serotonin after the bad earnings report last week that caused stock prices to tank.
LikeLike
Ah yes — I remember my Pillsbury days around the holidays. The most excellent vendor graft came in. When I worked in Promotion, the vendors tried to outdo each other in decadence and creativity. {cue drooling ….}
LikeLike
Just listening to the news while I do some paperwork at the office. Apparently the predicted Bipartispasm predicted as part of the convergence is going to happen today regarding Start Treaty. Wonders never cease.
What is our next new word? It might happen tomorrow whatever it is!
LikeLike
I was and still am. One of the perks that comes with not only being the youngest but being the youngest by 8 years.
LikeLike
So, did anyone get to see anything last night, or did we have complete cloud cover?
Well, we’re headed out for Iowa tomorrow, a day early again to avoid snow. I’ll be on sporadically the next several days, so have a great Christmas, ‘Booners.
And Go, Krista!
LikeLike
My husband and 13-yr old got up at 2am and looked at a webcam on a site from Georgia where they could see it online. They thought it was pretty cool. Nothing to see in MN with the cloud cover.
LikeLike
I had such good intentions, but I made the mistake of trying to watch out my bedroom window while I was lying in bed. We had an absolutely clear night, too. Oh well, we celebrated this evening with the fine pagan custom of decorating the Christmas tree.
LikeLike
I was up at 2:25 and the moon was round and reddish. Not red like Blevin’s behind, but more like a faded red brick or a faded red barn. And a little splotchy.
I’m typing fast and furious because I’m furious that TWICE NOW Tim’s left me out when he lists the WHO’s WHO of the blog. Well listen here, you little rotten snot-nosed speller! I was blogging on the old blog before anyone here ever even heard of you! I used to be the favorite! Then you came along and started showing off your weirdness and everybody gravitated to your posts and made you the favorite. Well, you’re not my favorite, and you know what? You’re not Barb in Blackhoof’s favorite either. I’M HER FAVORITE. How do I know? Intuition. That enviable seductive female quality that you as a man will never in your life get to experience. So there! You crybaby cold weather wimp!
Come on Krista you can do it. Put a little muscle to it!
P.S. Merry Christmas Tim.
LikeLike
Good to hear you back in grand form, Donna! Now that school’s out for a bit, can we expect more of your spunkiness and trash talk? I hope so … there’s always room at the top of the favorite list. 🙂
LikeLike
Donna I’ll bet there will not be a third time. I was thinking I shouldn’t do this after leaving out people last time. Merry Christmas and if my forgetting made it not a favorite I’d be aced out of lots of my favorites. Love you Donna sorry
LikeLike
Leave me out any time, Tim. I enjoy giving you sh*t!
Love, D
LikeLike
Um, tim… you left me out too…
LikeLike
Clouds Clouds Clouds here in Minneapolis. I set my alarm for 1:45 a.m. and looked out all my windows, but no brown/red moon. No moon of any shade! Boo hoo.
LikeLike
this blogging fro the phone is for the birds. i’m missing 3 posts yesterday. and it is full of capital letters. i should be near a computer for the next fistfull of days over the holidays
i have been getting up and out by 630 central time and it is not the same at all.
i lost a posting about renee and her spoons and the forgetting of renee krista and donna. it doesn’t take too much to screw me up. enjoy the holiday vibe. i love this time of year.
LikeLike
Who you calling chicken from yesterday then??
LikeLike