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Seeking Validation

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Dear Dr. Babooner,

The roof on the storage shed out back collapsed this winter from the weight of the snow, and the structure is unusable. The thing has always been an eyesore, and now that it’s damaged a debate has started about its real value. I admit there are benefits. We throw all the sports equipment in there and it helps make everything nice and tidy in our garage.

Our kids and the others in the neighborhood get a lot of use out of the thing, too. They’re always playing one sort of game or another in it or around it. I stopped paying attention but it seems like the door is standing open half the time and some little urchin is crouched in there, ready to pounce on someone. Usually the game has something to do with winning a championship or being a loud, bossy millionaire. Occasionally you hear some shouts floating across the yard about “MONSTER TRUCKS”!

But since the collapse I’ve had to wrap the shed in police tape and tell them to STAY OUT because the roof is unsafe. Long faces all around.

My wife thinks we should tear down the shed and replace it with something even bigger and nicer with expensive bells and whistles so it can be even more fun for the children and their games, but I’m thinking we should let the place fall in on itself like an old barn on an abandoned farmstead. Yes, it would be traumatic for the children to watch that happen, but it would remind them that games are just games and maybe it would instill in them a kind of gravitas that, frankly, they’re lacking. An air of melancholy and resignation about the inevitability of death and decay can be a useful thing for a young person. They’re not all going to be sports stars, you know. Some might become independent filmmakers.

Besides, we’re out of money.

Dr. Babooner, please tell me I’m right about how this dispute should play out. I took the time to write to you, after all, and my wife and the kids never read your column. You won’t gain a thing by siding with them. Give a loyal reader a bit of support, and I promise to keep coming back for advice that makes me feel smart!

Sincerely,
Seeking Validation

I told Seeking Validation that humans are able to develop an air of melancholy and resignation without intentional assistance from anyone else, and it’s mean spirited to try to build gravitas into another life just because you can.

Besides, watching something collapse is a terrible downer

The money question is a serious one, though, and rather than simply accept decay of the backyard shed, perhaps you and your wife and the local children could work together on weekends to repair the roof and improve the structure so it can still be a fun and useful neighborhood attraction. Like Amish people would, but without the horses and hats. It may not be the best solution, but it suits the situation.

And Dr. Babooner can’t be blackmailed with threats of withdrawing your attention. Your attention is a mixed blessing – look at me! The lovely pearls are merely window dressing to cover my own inner pain. Your flip comment about “long faces” hurt in ways I can’t even begin to describe, so don’t get me started on gravitas!

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

78 thoughts on “Seeking Validation”

  1. Rise and Shine Baboons:

    I’m with Dale. Repair the shed on the weekends and save the money. I guess that is my inner Scrooge talking, but don’t spend the money if you don’t have it. You can make do for awhile.

    Meanwhile, I must be out the door early. See you all at the end of the day!

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  2. Dear SV,
    as the structure tumbles, it may create interesting barricades and fun challenges for the kids to play around. maybe beef up your liability insurance though. we’re all out of money also, so please don’t ask us for help building a new one.

    a gracious good morning to You All

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  3. Hmmm, I suspect SV, that even if YOU think just letting the thing crumble would be just fine, sooner or later, the larger community is going to unite and force you to get rid of this “attractive nuisance” (which I always thought described Dennis the Menace really well). At that point, you are going to have to come up with the cash to have it hauled out or be charged by the city to do it for you (and we all know that they do not work cheap).

    My advice, if you cannot afford to have it fixed, raze the thing and as biB says, don’t ask me to build you a new one. Let the kids play outside at the neighbor’s place like they did before you spent all this money putting up this shack that you just had to have.

    Blessings on you today, BiR and Michael!

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  4. Good morning baboons and babettes! Special greetings to Barbara and Michael, who are on our minds on this Thurgery day.

    First, SV, you show shocking insensitivity by requesting aid and then whacking Dr. Babooner with that meretriciously nasty comment about long faces. Who are you to be dispensing snide comments? You are the one with the trashy shed, the one who is seeking help from a baboon in pearls. A little humility is in order.

    Do you truly need a shed? As Americans learn to do more with less, you might consider the virtues of making good use of the garage space and not cluttering the lawn with an unneeded structure. If you can’t get by without a shed, build one that has the honest appeal of sturdy, intelligent design. Use earth-friendly materials and keep it modest in size.

    Children grow up so fast it isn’t smart to create play structures for them (the plastic swing set my neighbor erected next door was, to my knowledge, never used by a child). But while you need not make the shed itself a toy, a smart dad will build in one or two secret compartments where kids at play can hide special messages.

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  5. SV, I’m afraid my advice isn’t much different than what is already here. Repair what you have. Get the neighborhood kids involved – see what they can do to raise a little money to help pay for the repairs (hot chocolate stand? snow shoveling?). Your local hardware store is bound to have some scrap lumber and mis-tint paint that can be purchased cheaply. With a little elbow grease and some ingenuity, I’m sure you can fix the roof, repair the structure and add a few new features. Turn it into a functional sculpture; as long as your repairing and shoring it up, why not make it more aesthetically pleasing?

    Or tear it down and let the kids play on the grass. But then you’ll have to find places for all the stuff your storing. Like the basement.

    Good Thurgery day to BiR and Husband!

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  6. I think the hidden answer may be in the process here. If you put out a hammer, saw and coffee can and start taking it apart, that could become the neighborhood project, kids banding together to play Joe the out of work construction worker and barb the unemployed engineer throw in an architect and begin building your city. Go to menards and buy the distresses lumber and plywood and create a stone soup shed with a variety of needs being met, request lawn mower and garden tool space and watch what they come up with for themselves. The neighbor down the road has those 4 extra bundles if shingles and the corrugated panel left over from the project across the back yards will do nicely thank you verymuch As for the long face I’ve always been attracted to exotic looks what do you want a bowling ball head Charlie brown? Cmon get that garbage pile transformed into the neighborhood gathering spot with grill and enrertainv in mind. Maybe you could start a backyard book club. Lemons into lemonade is what this calls for… Onward and upward.

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    1. Ah, but does everyone in the neighborhood need their own: shed, lawnmower, weed whacker and power sprayer? If the neighborhood truly banded together and wanted to make it work, one garage and set of machinery could take care of the whole block-think how much play or gardening space that would free up. Maybe a couple of households would take on snow removal for the entire block, instead of everyone gassing up and maintaining their own snowblower for their one driveway and sidewalk-the noise would happen once and be done.

      This cold must really be depriving my brain of oxygen…..

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      3. there are lots of examples around the world and throughout history, but I am fairly certain it is just more confounded socialism and we’ll be having none of that nonsense here.

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      4. Clearly they have some of that socialism stuff in my mom’s neighborhood where there is a shared snow blower and a few other shared implements. Clearly the reds are starting a bloodless revolution, one city block at a time.

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    2. tim, great minds have similar thoughts, right? I came up with a recomendation somewhat similar to yours before I saw your comment. The use of interesting construction materials in your comment is a good addition to what both you and I thought might be a good idea .

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      2. I personally love the idea of reclaimed and repurposed materials, but you are presupposing that the kids in question would be happy with that. I suspect that the kids SV is dealing with might not be accepting of anything short of brand spanking new and cutting edge.

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      3. Time to teach em about life. They can go shovel driveways to come up with state of the art or build a shed the way sheds have always been built, not mini Mac mansions.

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      4. But these are very Special Children, who don’t so much need a shed as a state-of-art play structure to fully develop their potential. And their doting, indulgent parents will probably need some very nice box-type seating from which to observe their highly favored offspring in comfort-cozy in the winter, but cool in the summer.

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      5. MIG, you forgot about the mounted video cameras to capture every moment of said offsprings’ development. Best to prepare now for the video montage that you will be submitting on their behalf along with report cards back to preschool showing just how gifted and creative Junior has been over time when you send in the application to Harvard. You can edit it in with clips from the first grade presentation on Nobel Peace Prize laureates and their submission to the fourth grade science fair that included a widget that converts Play-Doh to dark matter.

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      6. my son is going to think he had no childhood.

        I’ll tell him about the Play-doh to dark matter idea though. Science Fair is tonight for us (with a catapult that works just like the one in the news this morning)-he should probably get started on that Play-doh now for next year 😉

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      7. Don’t know about Play-Doh, but many science projects morph into dark matter if left alone long enough.

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  7. Good morning to all,

    SV, I guess the best advice I have is to tear down the shed and get rid of it. If it can be repaired without too much trouble that might also be a good choice. I think the kids should just be glad that you let them play in the shed and should not expect you to provide a replacement.

    Maybe the kids would like to help you tear it down. That might be a fun thing for them to do. I had a tree house that nieghbor kids played in. When it needed painting, I asked one of the kids that played in it if he wanted to do the painting and he agreed to do it. Also the kids might be willing to help with repairs if that’s what you decide to do.

    Just leaving the shed and letting fall down is also and interesting option. Are you like Little Abner (probably the wrong spelling), in the comic strip, who just sat under the apple tree and waited for the apples to fall into his mouth instead of picking them? In deed, why tear down the shed when it will probably fall down on it’s own some day.

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  8. I have to admit to some anti-shed bias. I live next door to the nicest man in Saint Paul, but he is a fellow obsessed with lawn care. He has every toy ever designed for lawn care, plus all the chemicals. He erected a shed to store this stuff, a shed just a bit smaller than his garage. It sits on the property line, totally blocking the view from my sun room. He would be mortified if he knew how I have grieved the presence of that shed (which is illegal by city codes), and I have never even hinted at how that second garage has robbed me of the pleasure we used to take in the sun room.

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  9. I think it all depends on whether you like these kids or not. If you do, having them help you tear it down seems like a good idea, especially if they are on board for helping you “disappear” the rotted boards and useless shingles. Then, as eloquently described already, you look at the piles that are left and figure out what to make now. I may have told this before, but Husband built our shed out of “found objects” — the end walls are halves of an old ping pong table, the door is an old picnic table top, complete with umbrella hole in the middle which serves as the “handle”.

    Thanks for all the well wishes, ‘Booners. Thurgery is for noon or later. There is a library at HCMC with computers, so I’ll be on here when I can.

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    4. Here’s my wish for a speedy recovery as well! Surgery is never fun for anybody. (That’s nice that there’s a library at the hospital though.)

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    7. I’m just catching up on the last few days… best wishes to you and your husband, Barbara. I do hope that this Thurgery goes well and that you are both healthy and happy very soon.

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  10. Whoa, whoa whoa here—-

    Let’s see that permit for demolition and hazardous debris removal. I’ll assume you already filed the application to request a permit? And tested for asbestos? Where’s the certificate of ‘Asbestos abatement’ documentation?

    Now lets see your building plans, permit, certificate of zoning for a ‘non-residential’ structure- ‘shelter; outdoor (uninsulated)’ and approval from your local neighborhood watch group?
    What about neighborhood covenants? Approval, certificates and documentation from them?

    Now, this ‘re-use’ of materials to which you refer? You gotta fill out the forms certifying none of these materials are from toxic environments nor contain hazardous materials and they weren’t involved in the manufacture of drugs or methamphetamine.

    You gotta bathroom in there? Need an application and perk test for that. Peeing out the windows will be an absolute ‘No-No’…

    Did you get approval from 2/3s of the surrounding neighbors including the ones across the street who can’t see this anyway but it might affect their property values? How about a traffic study and sidewalk safety report of the increase in children using this area?
    You can file an application to file a report to be added to the agenda for the planning and zoning sub-committee and then we’ll talk.

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      1. Variance?! Aw, you’re gonna have to get that approved… and pay the Fee! I forgot the fee’s!
        (True story- Township got a letter from a Federal Department asking us to pay $400 to file the “Application to Renew”…)

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      2. I didn’t intend “intensive care” to sound negative or ominous. I could be wrong, but my understanding is that a stay in ICU is expected after cardiac surgery. But Barbara knows much more about it that I do, of course.

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      3. Peekaboo street the Olympic ski woman has sponsored a number of the intensive care units around the country after having so many hospital bound visits in her carreer. Of course the best part is getting discharged from the peekaboo ICU.

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  12. Morning — I’m fumbling this morning – certain that there is a metaphor today that I’m missing.

    Not sure you need to build a great big new shed for the kids to play on. Many years ago, when teenager was 4, our next-door neighbors put in a HUGE swingset… you know the kinds made of cedar that you see at the State Fair. And they asked everyone in the neighborhood to have their kids ask before they played on it – fair enough. The next week, the neighbor on the other side bought a new dishwasher and the great big box ended up in my back yard. I taped up the top so it looked like a roof and cut some windows and a door in it. Then I brought all the tempura paints and brushes and the kids had a blast painting it all over. For three weeks, until Mother Nature finally brought down the cardboard house, all the kids in the neighborhood (including the neighbor kids w/ the new rainbow system) were in our backyard, playing in this cardboard box. Good lesson for me to not spend too much on backyard toys!

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    2. VS I love cardboard box options, but am impressed that you found tempura paint. Did you get it at a Japanese store? Hope it tasted as good as it looked!

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  13. My very elderly and frugal grandfather was always trying to get my uncle to tear down an old shed and build a different cattle shed with the same boards. It was hard for my grandfather to get the point that a new shed built with old materials is still an old shed, just with new nails. I think SV’s kids have to understand that the shed is a goner and find new ways to entertain themselves. I question just how much they are using all the equipment that is “stored” in the shed. Time for a garage sale and a reassessment of play priorities.

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  15. Mr friends had a wireless router and could not set it up, but I did it for them; thus I earned a bit of my bread and bed and got myself online.

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  16. I’m sorry, SV, but I think it’s in your best interest to tear down the shed. Put the kids to work and sort through the materials you have. Use the good lumber and nails to build a new tree house complete with a rope swing. Baboons are guaranteed to like it. I like the idea of using some of the recycled materials to create a community space in your backyard. How about a garden area with a fire pit and organic benches and tables for neighborhood get-togethers? If there is some rotted lumber left over, you can use it for kindling when you have your first neighborhood potluck and bonfire and a tree house blessing ceremony.

    Suck it up, SV. You need to listen to your better half and tear it down. Do not give in to the demands for bigger and better. And, please don’t make disparaging comments about “long faces” around here.

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  18. Greetings! Totally OT, but I need some help with Turkey Soup I’m making. I roasted a turkey last night and finally got tired of throwing away meat-covered bones — so I threw all bones in a pot with water, celery and a bay leaf. Refrigerated overnight, separated out the bones, added 2/3 cup brown rice, some carrots, salt and pepper and now it’s simmering on the stove. Any ideas of what to add that isn’t too weird but would add to the flavor? I’ve got 40 minutes until rice is done … Your help is appreciated.

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    3. Excellent ideas — thank you all. The turnips and white beans sound particularly intriguing. Added green onions, peas and corn to the mix — too lazy to sautee anything … it’s looking good! Thanks for your help!

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  20. OT – Hi ‘booners – Just a quick one to tell you that Michael’s surgery went very well — a team of 4 surgeons were working on him for almost 6 hours and he’s somewhat re-arranged, but has a triple bypass in place. He will be in intensive care for a day or so, and they think he may be able to come home by Monday or Tuesday. I’m going to have some soup and a glass of wine, and go to bed. Will have to read this tomorrow…

    Thanks to you all for sending love and healing and prayers.

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    2. Make that energy and healing and prayers. Youall don’t know him well enough for love — I copied this from the email I just sent out… 🙂

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      1. Barbara, that’s great news. Best wishes for the dificult days ahead for your husband and you during the recovery period.

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