The Baboon Congress

Machinery on the Mississippi

105 Comments

Today’s guest blog is by Sherrilee.

My father was proud of his intellect and his vocabulary. When I was a kid, my sister and I would try to stump him by picking out random words in the dictionary to see if he knew them. He was better at this than most, since he had studied Latin for law school and could weasel out the meaning of almost any Latin-derived word. We quickly learned to look for words with their origin in Greek – he wasn’t as good at those.

When I was in junior high, my dad decided that he didn’t like the words “get” and “got”. He thought they were “lazy” words and that it was a sign of intelligence if you could use other words in their place. If you slipped up and used “get” or “got”, he would said “What?” until you replaced the little offender. This led to some hilarious conversations when my younger sister decided just to use the word “obtain” all the time, even if it didn’t make sense. “Do you think we’ll obtain rain this weekend? or I’m going upstairs to obtain a sweater.” Finally in college I decided that I didn’t have to play anymore either and my dad had to give up trying to enliven my language.

So, it was these memories that I was thinking of when I happened upon Kickstarter.com. In response to the Mark Twain professor who is bringing out an n-word free Huckleberry Finn, the Kickstarter group is raising money to print an edition of Huckleberry Finn with the n-word replaced by the word “robot”. If you pledge a dollar or more, you get a hard-copy version of this book when it is finished. I coughed up the dollar immediately and just the fun of getting the e-mail updates has been worth the price of admission.

If you could get rid of a word, which word would it be?

105 thoughts on “Machinery on the Mississippi”

    3. Perhaps we could allow “Bachman’s” as a trade name and with its single “n,” but the double-n “Bachmann” would not be allowed (especially in polite conversation).

      Like

      Reply

  2. Great fun, Sherrilee!

    I think there is a real tendency to latch on to certain words and just use them to death. I think a lot of words would benefit by some sort of meter that would limit their daily usage: you get 20 uses of “basically”, 5 of any form of “entitled/entitlement”, 10 “strategic/strategize strategy”.

    Maybe this is just me, but after awhile, the same words over and over just wear out that part of the hearing apparatus (like hitting your thumb with the hammer in the same place over and over), and I would do well to invent something like a universal translator that could be worn to change words in my ear to something else after so many uses.

    There could be a synonym shuffle feature, so you would randomly hear, get, obtain, acquire, receive and on and on, instead of that endless get, get, get. Could be pretty amusing.

    I’d also love to reduce the amount of jargon that seems to need to be used instead of perfectly adequate ordinary words-“concept” is the one currently curling my toes.

    Like

    Reply

  3. not so much a word, but punctuation – the incorrectly added apostrophe to plurals. and it seems almost no sign or menu maker can do this correctly. the Blackwater Lounge – the newer, glitzy cocktail bar in the Hotel Duluth – has a big awning in fronts that says they serve “Cocktail’s”
    i see it on menus: in plural rather than possessive “taco’s” and in professions: RN’s

    i like this chat, Sherrilee – cleaver and fun – thank’s so much! 🙂

    Like

    Reply

    1. I am going to have to keep eyes open for those-I tend to see the opposite-the omitted possesive apostrophe (and let’s just leave its/it’s out of it for now)

      Like

      Reply

    2. There was a television ditty about two guys whose mission is to fix the bad punctuation and misspelling in the publics eye. They wou,d just go thell the owner of a shop his sign was wrong and ask if they could help fx it and they usually got a warm enough reception CNN the ok to fix it.
      Personally i think all people who misspell or have bad punctuation should be shot

      Like

      Reply

      1. tim, I assume you are taking the position that we should do as you say and not as you do regarding spelling and punctuation. Actually, I’m glad that your spelling and punctuation is just a little off, or maybe more than a little, because I have never been good at geting my spelling and punctuation completely right. Thus, your appoach of just letting it fly and not worrying too much about errors works good for me.

        It always bothered me when teachers didn’t seem to notice the content of what I wrote and only looked for grammar and spelling errors. I thought that if they didn’t have any interest in the efforts I made to write something meaningful, I didn’t need to pay much attention to their spelling and grammar corrections.

        Like

        Reply

    4. I also think the misuse of quotation marks is annoying. People seem to use them as ways to emphasize what they are writing, not realizing that the use of quotation marks suggests that what they are emphasizing is the opposite of that they mean. Sometimes they are unconsciously amusing, though.

      Like

      Reply

  4. Guesstimate, sammich,win-win, and refudiate.

    Good Morning, Kids! Off to school today in denim. It’s a win-win Friday!

    Like

    Reply

      2. At the end of the day, all folks are trying to do is leverage their impactful best practices so that they can reach out to orientate and incentivize their resources.

        Like

        Reply

  7. I’m much less bothered by words than phrases, especially cliches, especially cliches misused. A word that bugs me (because it is almost never used correctly) is reticent.

    For examples of cliches, just listen to MPR’s own Gary Eichten. Gary rarely makes it through a sentence without at least one cliche and can comfortably fit three or four in one sentence.

    Like

    Reply

  8. I remember Leo buscaflia talking about at his family and the idea that everyone had to bring a new thing they learned that day to the table. They would go to the encyclopedia to find something on a slow day but they always had something and the dad would acknowledge it. My 9 year old has recently reintroduced the idea of family meals at our house and sent a formal invitation for a 630 dinner where we will serve chicken mashed potatos and corn. Please be there if you can. The response has been phenomenal. We have not eaten together because of scheduling challenges for the last 10 or 20 years but the idea now of eating together even once or twice a week sounds like fun. If we do it this week I will try plugging a new word or fact to the program while it is still new and flexible.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I was lucky enough to meet Leo Buscaglia when I was still in the book world. He had the ability to be completely with a person. If he was talking to you, there wasn’t anybody else or anything else in the world but you for that few moments. Not only did I experience that feeling myself, but I saw him interact the same way with every single person that came to the store that day to meet him. That is truly a talent I’d like to have.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Yep I met him at a presentation when he was talking about how he would always wait in line until the last person had the signing and swapping of stories and the hugging and the smiles. He was wonderful. I am going to go to the library right now and order his tapes. Gosh he is uplifting.

        Like

        Reply

    2. If I were in a family now I’d welcome family meals, and I’d try to institute something like a “family night.” One night a week there would be no TV. Instead, family members would be encouraged to read something together, do jigsaw puzzles, play board games, etc.

      Like

      Reply

      1. We really enjoyed watching “Electric Dreams” on PBS this last week, about the family that started with 1970 technology and ended with 2000, adding one year’s worth of technology each day.

        We concluded we are stuck in the ’70s and like it that way.

        Eating in front of the TV is something we do for fun (pizza and movie night on Friday and we have been doing a marathon this week of Spring Break).

        OT -if you have kids that have not seen the Cary Grant Arsenic and Old Lace, have them give it a try. It was a roaring success with the 12-year-old.

        Like

        Reply

  9. Good morning to all:

    The first word that I can think of that I don’t like is “shut up”. I think of “shut up” as one word which I think is actually a two word phrase. That choice probably dates me because I don’t think it is consider as offensive now as it was in the past. I will have to do a little more thinking because I am sure there are some other words I don’t like that are not coming to mind right now.

    Like

    Reply

      1. MiG.. true in my house as well. In fact, that old gem “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” was a constant refrain, as well as “You sound like fishwives.”

        Like

        Reply

  10. It is amazing how much difference words and attitudes can tilt the way a conversation or a get together or a meeting can go. That is the best thing about this blog. Everyone is so civil and the vibes are so positive. Thank you all for that. Negativity is a great word but it would be nice it was gone. It would take a while to acquire the hang of it.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Very true about this blog! I know some forums that are almost this polite, but they’re heavily moderated. It seems here we self-moderate, simply for the sake of having a pleasant conversation, and not because we’re afraid our post will get TOSsed or we’ll get flamed. This is how my personal conversations with friends are, and I wish more of the Internet was this way.

      Like

      Reply

  12. YOU KNOW….I did break my son of the habit by constantly responding to the mid-sentence you know with “I don’t think I know her but I did go to school with her second cousin,” “Was he the fifth Beatle?”, and so on. Curing one person at a time does not seem to be very effective.

    VS thanks for the fun topic!

    Like

    Reply

    1. I’ve had a little luck w/ the teenager and “like” by interrupting and saying “like?” But I do realize the irony that I hated this when my father did it to me and now I’m doing it to the teenager. Sigh.

      Like

      Reply

      1. I used to work with high school students – after a week with them, “like” (and the occasional “y’know”) slipped into my spoken language. Husband and friends were put on notice to charge me a nickel for each “like” or “y’know.” Expensive sometimes, but effective.

        Like

        Reply

  13. Ah, Sherrilee, great story, and I believe you have touched a nerve! While – not the noun, as “in a while”, but the conjunction: I can do that while this other thing is getting done. Ill eat or phone while I’m driving. I wonder if, without the word while in our lives, we could stop multi tasking, do one thing at a time, and learn to actually be present.

    And my least favorite phrase on the planet is No problem, when substituted for You’re welcome. They do not mean the same thing! No problem suggests that there might have been a problem, but there wasn’t after all. You’re welcome is much more gracious; after a “thank you” it’s almost like giving the gift a second time “Sure, you are welcome to it… “

    Like

    Reply

  14. Were I a parent again, I think I’d be more tolerant of teen phrases than some parents. My current notion is that English is a big tent that includes many distinctive sub-groups, each with its own dialect. What is “wrong” in spoken English is using the wrong dialect for a particular group. In that sense, it is entirely acceptable for kids to use “you know” so often when speaking to other kids. I’d try, in other words, to encourage my kids to master different dialects and use them appropriately for different groups.

    Sometimes it seems to me that a college education is essentially a long language course that trains students to speak the dialect of the highly educated. People who use “affect” when they mean “effect” betray themselves as clumsy talkers (and possibly clumsy thinkers).

    Speaking the elegant dialect of the highly educated can be useful as a way of impressing people and as a way of identifying one’s self as an educated person. But this point was made better than I can make it. Just watch “My Fair Lady.”

    Like

    Reply

      1. “Highly educated” does not equate to “eloquent” – I’d wager Steve was lobbying for the latter to indicate the former. And George W. was clearly not the latter.

        Like

        Reply

  15. The spelling error that’s driven me crazy for the last few years has been “loose” for “lose.” Why it’s so widespread is beyond me, but I see it in online writing all the time. Sometimes it’s inadvertently hilarious–one character says to another, “loose the attitude,” and I immediately visualize an over-the-top flaming dance number ala “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”–but usually it just turns the sentence into nonsense. I’m getting VERY tired of having to translate lazy people’s writing into grammatical English (especially when it’s PUBLISHED gibberish–spellcheck is no subsitute for actual human editors).

    My dad was not a lazy writer (not a good one either, but he did work hard at it), but he was a lazy speaker. He chose a phrase that he thought was funny and made it habitual–“What’s on the agenda for today,” every single morning, “Do you want to bail out here” every time he drove someplace and offered to let my mom and I out at the door. There were no parking places, only “sparking spots”, and lunch was always “sloop and slandwiches.” It sounds funny, and probably was when I was four years old, but try thirty-six years of the same jokes, week in and week out and see how funny they are. One positive result is that it made me a better editor, since I can spot repetitions and cliches in other people’s writing that are invisible to them. But, I’m beginning to think if I have to hear “and whatnot” one more time, in radio interviews or in conversation, they’ll have to haul me off to the state hospital.

    Yeah, rereading this I can see I need my sense of humor adjusted today. And here I thought starting off with coffee at home would help!

    Like

    Reply

    2. with you, it has been quite a week. thank you all for being an oasis of sanity in an otherwise Bonkersville world.

      Like

      Reply

    3. I could use a sense of humor adjustment myself and this is the place for it. The best I seem to be able to do today is complain about things which I think is helping me get back my sense of humor.

      I just hearded that my Aunt Ida, who I mentioned in the guest blogg yesterday, fell and broke her hip. Ida really has something to complain about and still was able to talk on the phone in a more or less cheerful maner.

      Like

      Reply

    4. You are still the new kid crow girl and a wonderful addition to the group . We obviously hit a hot button with this what do you hate topic but make it fun and quit trying to take it so seriously. I do love the prisella queen of desert picture. Good stuff

      Like

      Reply

  17. Morning everyone…
    I haven’t had a lot of time to comment this week but let me say it has been a GREAT week of stories and comments. I have really enjoyed all of them and especially yesterdays family stories.
    Thank you all.

    I used to work with a guy who responded to most everything with “Sweet!”… made me crazy.

    Like

    Reply

    1. thank you, yes-sweeeeet! stop, please stop.

      Also, middle-aged white guys using “bro” “word” and other such slang in an attempt to appear more up-to-date than their actions would indicate they actually are.

      Like

      Reply

  18. Can we get rid of the word ‘Qoupon’ and use the actual word ‘COUPON’, Please!? (My seventh grade English teacher thanks you….)

    Like

    Reply

  19. The word “family” is a useful word and I wouldn’t suggest it be banned outright, but I would like to remove it from political discussions about taxes and budgets. I really clench my teeth when someone says something like “The government takes too much money from my family.” They’re really just dressing up their own greed as concern for their dear little ones, who can never have too many smart phones and laptops. I think there must be some consultant who taught politicians to say “Taxes are too high on families in Minnesota,” making it sound as though it’s the Cratchits gathered round the table that they are really concerned about.

    In the interests of fairness, perhaps we could substitute the word “family” for the word “union” in Scott Walker’s rants. Would it be acceptable to talk about taking away the bargaining power of Wisconsin’s families?

    Like

    Reply

    1. Very much agree with you, Linda, but along with your restriction (reduction, what is the word I want???) of the word “family”, I would also like to see the definition “family” expanded beyond what is often implied in politics to something that encompasses any domestic unit bound by mutual goals and affections.

      (garsh, I hope my quotes and commas are all ok-I just escew semi-colons out of fear)

      Like

      Reply

      1. Gentle Writer,

        Some editors would have you place the comma inside the quotes, others might argue that since this is not a “she said,” statement, the quote is okay outside the quotes and is a stylistic choice. I prefer my commas and periods inside the quotation marks as it is more consistent and clearer for the reader.

        Signed,
        Miss Smarty Pants 🙂

        Like

        Reply

      2. Thank you, Miss Smarty Pants.

        I am personally of the comma outside the non-conversational quotes school. I also see you posted some wisdom regarding semi-colon usage, which I shall happily consult, but most likely not use out of long-standing semi-colonophobia.

        Like

        Reply

  20. artisinal
    i note that the Olive Garden now has “artisinal ravioli.” sheesh.
    that word should be reserved for only the very best, very skillfully-made, breads and cheeses, etc. – made in teeny little batches by hands wrinkled and chapped with work. not artisinally (oh geez, Renee, i almost put quotes in there!) made by a metal machine and stuffed with processed cheese and production farm chicken.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I think “artisanal” with the quotes is quite appropriate. Do they advertise it as “fresh” ravioli? If they do, I’d pass on it if I were you.

      Like

      Reply

    2. I would like to apply for artisinal status for my raspberry jam. I have, however, been pondering the purchase of one of those little Robo-Stir thingies to help with the production. Would that disqualify me?

      Like

      Reply

      2. robo-stir just helps you keep your arms from falling off so that you can make more jam. i would think that would not disqualify you 🙂 like i know, even. i just know Olive Garden is probably not artisinal anything.
        i also like it when folks say they have “artesianal.” uffda.

        Like

        Reply

  21. The misuse of words bothers me more than the words themselves. For example, when some one tells you they will be back in a second, you will probably wait for a long time or never see them again. There is nothing wrong with the word “second” when it is used correctly to measure time. It is not usually a good word to hear when it is used to measure time by a person that you hope will give you prompt service.

    Like

    Reply

      1. We devalue language every time we tell an obvious lie. What can you expect of a culture where the standard response from a phone system standing between you and the person you need to talk to is this line: “We really value your call. Unfortunately, all of our representatives are busy at the moment . . . ”

        And I’m in a black humor thinking, “If you valued my call so much, you would staff this system adequately so we didn’t all have to wait. You say all your reps are busy at the moment. What a fricking coincidence! They were all busy on my last six calls to this number!” We haven’t really had a conversation yet, and already they have told me a lie or two.

        Like

        Reply

      2. Steve – I usually think the exact same thing when I hear that message!

        And I’ve had plenty of this message today… trying to get to a human being at USPS is not easy task and I think I’ve spoken to at least seven different folks there since 8 a.m. this morning.

        Like

        Reply

      3. Yes, a minute means the same as a second when someone is asking you to wait and it usually really means way, way, longer.
        I don’t even want to think about the kind of wait messages that Steve and VS are talking about.

        Like

        Reply

  22. Another thing that bothers me is the use of the word “is” twice in a row when there is no justification for it. “The thing is, is that…” “The problem is, is that…” I wince each time.

    Like

    Reply

      1. Now that seems correct to me. Each “that” has a purpose in that sentence, doesn’t it?

        Like

        Reply

      2. ah, so it is a functional, rather than auditory objection-that seems valid. just wanted to know. ( I admit to having trouble looking at it in print).

        Like

        Reply

  23. As long as we’re doing punctuation too, I still separate the 2nd and 3rd items in a list by commas, i.e.,
    red, white, and blue
    as I was taught in grade school, while it seems the rest of the world at some point decided to skip the one between white and blue. I think it’s clearer, as otherwide it seems like you mean for the last two items to be more together than the other(s).

    Like

    Reply

    1. I honestly can’t say if the grammar police ruled a change on that one, but I was taught that there need not be a comma before the final “and”. Being comma happy (which in the age of the internet has become dashes and ellipses in my case-throw them around with reckless abandon I do), I decided to give that one up (at least).

      (I am also overly parenthetical)

      Like

      Reply

    2. Well…I was told at my old job – where I worked as a technical writer – that a comma after an “and” in a list is a stylistic choice, but one should be consistent throughout any given document or related pieces of writing. (Unless, of course, you want to be inconsistent on purpose.)

      Like

      Reply

      1. Believe it or not, the comma issue has been a court case. An estate was left of A, B and C and the court ended up splitting the estate two ways. One half went to A and the other half had to be split by B and C. Aaah, the power of grammar!

        Like

        Reply

    4. Speaking of commas, I love to show kids their power with this oldie but goodie: Woman without her man is nothing. vs Woman, without her, man is nothing.

      Like

      Reply

  24. Here is a soup I just invented and which I now love for mid-week cooking. I have more complex soups for serving to guests on special occasions, but this is sure simple and tasty.

    Easy Cream of Chicken Soup
    3 skinless chicken breast halves, finely diced
    6 C water
    large yellow onion, finely diced
    1 to 1 ½ C diced carrots
    1 to 1 ½ C diced celery
    1 pkg (about 15 oz) low cholesterol egg noodles
    3 cans Campbells Healthy Request cream of chicken soup
    fresh herbs of your choice, finely chopped
    salt and pepper

    Bring 6 C water to a boil and add diced chicken. You could use 2, 3 or 4 breast halves, depending on size and your preference. Bring to a boil again and then cover the pan and turn off the heat. Let chicken rest in hot water 12 minutes or until pieces are white all the way through. Remove chicken with slotted spoon.

    At the same time, cook up half of the egg noodles.

    Return heat under water to high and add the onion, carrots and celery. The easy way to dice the carrots is to buy carrots that have been shaved down to the mini size, slicing pieces of these. Bring to a boil and cook perhaps 12 minutes or until carrot pieces are al dente soft.

    Add chopped fresh herbs. I use Italian parsley and rosemary. Taragon would be good. The amount isn’t critical, but 2 tbsp of chopped herbs might be about right.

    When the veggies are just right (not too hard, not too soft) return the chicken to the water. Dump in the cooked noodles. Now add the cans of condensed cream of chicken soup. Mix well, then reheat the soup. If the soup seems thick, add a bit of water. Add salt and pepper to taste. I like to cook with salt-free or low salt products and then add just the right amount of salt before serving.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment