Uncategorized

Job Opening!

45 Comments

For people who use mass transit, there is a moment you dread – when you realize the bus you meant to catch is pulling away from the stop and you are still three blocks down the road with an bag of groceries clenched in one arm and a cranky four year old hanging from the other.

Unemployed people have a similar kind of sinking-in-the-gut sensation – when you find out they’re hiring for your dream job the day after the position closes. That’s how I felt when I discovered Virgin Galactic was looking for three pilot/astronauts.

Too bad, because I could easily see myself doing this!

True, I don’t feel comfortable with heights and I tend to get slightly dizzy from sudden movements, but there is nothing in the job description that says you have to look down at the ground from outer space or turn your head quickly. In fact, doing either of those things would probably interfere with your efficient operation of the next-generation Virgin Galactic space plane, the SpaceShipTwo! A great pilot/astronaut would keep his eyes on the controls, no? And my eyesight is pretty good, especially around the middle part of the day. I don’t do so well after dark, but that wouldn’t be an issue. In space, the sun is always shining!

Oh well.

It’s undeniable that technically I was lacking in some of the specific qualifications, like graduating from an accredited test pilot school and logging at least 3,000 hours flying highly complex, super-fast jets. Oh, and the job announcement says “prior spaceflight experience is an advantage”. Fair enough. When filling out the application, I’d be forced to admit that I’ve never been in space before. But at least it’s not required!

And I’m sure once the Virgin Galactic people got to know me, they would be mightily impressed with my extensive knowledge of what it takes to be a public radio folk music disc jockey. Some very useful qualifications never make it into standard job descriptions because the people doing the hiring just don’t stop to think about the value of some unusual types of experience!

Good luck to the candidates who got their applications in on time, and a sharp salute to the three who will be chosen to be pilot/astronauts for Virgin Galactic. Just remember this when you put on your fancy helmet and your crinkly silver jumpsuit with your name stenciled above the left pocket – it shoulda been me!

What’s the best job you ALMOST got?

45 thoughts on “Job Opening!”

  1. This question is easy for me to answer! The dream job I didn’t get was becoming a public relations writer for MPR. In the past I have described the process of rising through a series of interviews only to encounter some sad-eyed guy with an office on the east side of the building who said “I like you but you’ll never get hired because we have gotten so f—–g corporate around here.” In case I didn’t feel bad enough, he added, “You are typical of people who made this station, but we don’t hire talent any more.” I chose that to be encouragement on his part, but I could tell he was counting down the minutes before he could start drinking seriously that weekend.

    His opinion was confirmed when I came back days later for my final interview. I was nervous. She was contemptuous of my resume. I made a desperate little joke, which caused her to scowl. I then had a total meltdown in her office, including losing control of my voice. Before I was back in charge I could see her looking at me as if I were something she had stepped in and now was stuck to her shoes.

    I left MPR in a sick daze. Unfortunately, I also left in my car, and I didn’t make it a block before hitting the back end of a dilapidated Ford LTD that inexplicably stopped in the middle of an intersection. The collision knocked the back bumper off the LTD and gave the geezer driver the right to heap his contempt on me.

    You know, all in all, I think it just wasn’t meant to be.

    Like

    Reply

  2. Morning all! Nice bit this morning, Dale. It’s probably a good thing that some folks wants to go up in space, because left up to me, all those spaceships would be empty on lift-off. In fact, one of my usual tag lines when technology goes wrong (like yesterday… ended up having to get a new monitor at work) is “That’s why I’ll never go up in the space shuttle.”

    The best job I didn’t get is the job I have now! When I was leaving my software marketing job, I applied for the job I have now three different times. Couldn’t even get an interview – way more applications for every open position than anyone can deal with. Very frustrating. So I took a different job in the same division to get my proverbial foot in the proverbial door. After a year in that position, I got the job I have now – the job that I couldn’t even get an interview for earlier. Two plus decades later, I’m still here!

    Like

    Reply

  3. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    This is the second morning in a row that I have awoken to sunshine outside my window, so I am again headed outdoors with my limping dog for a walk, passing up the gym. Knowing that tomorrow it is to be cloudy again causes me to dread waking up to gloom. I demand more sunshine!

    Meanwhile, over the weekend my sister gave me a surprise gift. She is a scrapbooking genius. She gave both my brother and I a scrapbook of our childhood days. Looking at these pictures caused me to realize that I nearly got a job as a princess–the pictures in that scrapbook present a daughter “dressed to the 9’s” before my father became ill. Appearing in that scrapbook are sister dresses that I did not remember, an early childhood Easter outfit complete with purse, and a prissy sailor dress.

    After dad became too ill to work Mom supported the family as a teacher and her fear took over. The Princess gig was over.

    But I was very nearly a Midwestern, small-town princess.

    Like

    Reply

      1. I hope my spam filter will allow Easter/Sailor/Princess photos to get through. Fingers crossed!

        Like

        Reply

  4. Dale, let’s be perfectly clear-The loser of the week is Virgin Galactic. They didn’t get you. The winners of the week are those of us on the trail who get to keep you and benefit from your wit, cleverness, talent, and hard work. Have we said “Thank you” lately? If not, please remember we are so lucky to have you as our red-rumped leader!

    Like

    Reply

    2. Thank you Beth-Ann.
      Can I put “Red Rumped Leader” on my resume?
      That reminds me – as a joke we gave this soothing gift to a dear friend –
      Anti Monkey Butt Powder.
      The guy at the hardware store said it sells like crazy around Christmas.

      Like

      Reply

      4. Since we have a lot of cowboys out here who actually ride, that powder is for sale in quite a few places around town.

        Like

        Reply

      6. Dale, you can put RRL on your resume and use the troop of baboons as a reference. Although Nancy may have another opinion 🙂

        Like

        Reply

      7. I use it when I do 50 or 100 mile endurance rides with my horse….the Anti Monkey Butt is for me….the horse gets Body Glide in his girth area..

        Like

        Reply

  5. Good morning to all:

    Well, there are a number of jobs that might have been good that I didn’t get. My solution to finding a good job, when no one hired me, was to become self employed. I fired myself from both of the self employed jobs that I had. I did make a little money as a self employed agricultural consultant, but not enough.

    My other attempt at self employment was growing vegetables and selling them at a farmers’ market. The vegetable farming effort was many years ago when there wasn’t a local foods movement. I might have done better at that if there had been support for it as there is today, so that might be the best job I applied for and didn’t get because I didn’t stay with it.

    Like

    Reply

  8. I guess my situation is a little unusual, since the last job I applied for was in 1987, and I got it, and I haven’t had to apply for a job since then. I had been going to grad school in Canada and I couldn’t work there due to Visa restrictions. In 1991 I took a leave of absence to do my year-long psychology internship, and I had to apply for placements for that and I didn’t get the one I wanted at Denver Children Hospital. That would have been really wonderful. I spent the year at a VA hospital in Knoxville Iowa instead, and that turned out to be a wonderful experience, too.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Ah yes, the, um, heady days of unemployment…when I was out of work it was less the “dream job that got away” than “the dream job that was in hiding” (heck, most any job I was qualified for was in hiding).

    There was, however, a job several years back that I interviewed for at the Humanities Commission. I was close, but not the absolute ideal candidate as I didn’t have an education degree. I had several years experience working for an educational non-profit setting up seminars and programs, and was just finishing my Masters in Liberal Studies – and this would have been a job where I actually could have used that Masters to assist with interdisciplinary humanities programs for teachers. Probably the only job that directly related to my Masters, one where I could have kept learning as I worked, one that would have appealed to my inner research librarian…alas, I did not land the job. And now I work in the land of web content instead (which is cool in a whole different way).

    Like

    Reply

  10. I’m still working on my dream job, that of being a multi-branched artist…but I’m still working on it.

    The initial plan was to go into marketing/advertising, which would still be a good plan. But with a 20 year old degree and no website design/construction skills, I think I’d need to go back to school. And with still trying to get the artist plan going, school on top of that isn’t really in the cards right now.

    Dale, I think you’d be a great space flight attendant. With all of your experience, there’s a better chance that we (passengers) could actually understand the safety speech and any announcements. You wouldn’t have to look out the windows at all because everyone else would be looking out the windows and block them from your view. And you’d have this big, heavy cart full of soda and munchies that would A) steady you if there were any untoward movements and B) allow you to make passengers happy by giving them stuff. I can definitely see you in this uniform:
    http://www.makebelievecostume.com/detail/RB-90943.html

    Like

    Reply

    1. Nice outfits, TGITH.
      I could enjoy sailing packages of Gardetto’s to my passengers in zero-G.
      I wonder if super wide shoulders will really be a fashion trend in the sure-to-be cramped commercial space travel cabins?

      Like

      Reply

  11. Like Renee, I’ve been in a job I wanted since 1977. I wanted to be a nurse and I got the job I wanted at Faribault Regional Center. When the RC closed and I wanted to transfer to the DNR, I got that job too. Now I’m here at Waterville and for the last couple of months I’ve been more content at work than I can remember being since about 1995. We are facing a new supervisor – a young guy who got a great job. He has little experience and lots of young male macho. I hope my contented state lasts.

    Are there job openings for dreamers? I’d do well at any job that involves day dreaming.

    Like

    Reply

  12. Hmmm? Periodically Dale’s questions prove to me I should have lived a life more adventurous.
    I have only one answer, not worth telling in detail, in which late in my business career I applied for a similar job in a different local company for which I was ideal. I did not even get acknowledgement of their receipt of my resume.
    I do not know for what I was truly suited in the world of work.
    Partnership was a poor choice, as I hear all business experts will tell you.
    What a lovely day to get put for my bike ride, later than usual, but such a day. Leaves are popping in the valley.

    Like

    Reply

  13. I’m actually amazed at the number of job’s I’ve gotten over the years that I wanted. But lately, the one I thought I wanted was educating school age kids (going around to classrooms) about nutritional, organic foods. It was through the Wedge Co-op, where I had worked in the early 80s, so thought I’d be a shoe-in. Apparently not, they hired someone younger (lots younger). I suppose there’s also an outside chance that person was more qualified…

    Like

    Reply

  14. Morning!

    I recall seeing in the paper a job for ‘Security Guard’ and to apply at the local Armored Car service. I had visions of driving the armored truck and all that. Turns out the job was the gate guard at Menards. And I had to shave off my moustache. Uh, no thanks.

    I applied to be an ‘escort’ at St. Mary’s hospital; one of those people that pick up the patients as they’re being discharged and wheel them to the door. I thought that sounded like fun but I never got interviewed for that one…

    I sent in an application to be a steward on cruise ship; I REALLY wanted that one… but alas…. there was a hurricane and records were lost. I’m not really sure I’d be where I am if I’d gotten that.

    Going out in the fields now. Me and my little tractor trying to look big next to the neighbors and their big tractors….

    Like

    Reply

    2. Those big tractors tend to be part of the bigger is better approach to farming where the whole country side is devoted to giant fields of corn or soybeans. Seeing some farmers, like you Ben, out on smaller tractors tends to be a good thing from my point of view. I have nothing againest corn and soybeans, but there should be more to farming than using the biggest machinery possible to plant only these two crops in very large fields.

      Like

      Reply

      1. i think the big tractr small tractor is what this conversation is about. i heard once that in order to pay you 100 dollars a company has to come up with 200. i think dreaming up your own way to get by at half the rate is way far ahead of selling your soul for rock and roll. sorry i missed the day yesterday, busy

        Like

        Reply

  15. I have a very good job now. I’m retired. I mostly get to decide every day what I should be doing. This is actually a challenging situation. I am slowly improving and learning to make good use of my time. I have been a rather disorganized person for most of my life not being able to find long term work. Now I hope I can strike a better approach to getting things done that need to be done and still having free time to use any way I want to use it.

    Like

    Reply

  16. I applied at Wood’s Chocolate Shop in downtown Saint Paul years ago. They had a production facility in Lowertown. I pictured it as a sort of Lucy-and-Ethel assembly line.

    I’m kind of sorry I didn’t get that one. It would have been an interesting story to tell.

    Like

    Reply

    2. I don’t know if Wood’s had an actual conveyor belt, but I think that should be a requirement for all candy making facilities. Along with some of those poofy hats and a drill-sergeant-like supervisor to roar “Let ‘er roll!” periodically.

      Like

      Reply

    3. I remember the Wood’s Candy Shop / Factory. It was right next door to our MPR studios in Park Square Court. I wondered what it would be like to sit in a shop window wrapping truffles all day.

      Like

      Reply

  17. It’s tough being a visionary, all my shoulda coulda woulda stuff is in I should have followed that idea. I was 99% of the way through negations of buying another guys company that would have made me the britta water filter guy before anyone ever heard of them , geeze 1986 along with other ideas like those little walkie talkies, bur in reality I have never considered working for another job. I am a bad employee and a poor corporate candidate. I am a team player but not a brown noser

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment