Dear Dr. Babooner,
I recently read an article in the NY Times about some family elders who are resisting the baggage-heavy names “Grandma” and “Grandpa”, urging the offspring of their offspring to use happy, hip, young sounding names instead – names like Beebo, DooDad and GlamMa.
Until I saw this I had not seriously considered what I might want potential grandchildren to call me. “Grandma” does sound impossibly old and I refuse to see myself that way, but I’m also quite serious about my dignity so answering to cries of “GoomBah” or “TweeBop” is something that makes me cringe.
And yet it would feel sad to have a grandchild call me by my actual name, which I reserve for use by my cadre of friends. And frankly, I don’t like some of my friends very much, so I’d want any freshly minted family members to use something more, well … familiar.
So where does that leave me, Dr. Babooner? I want to be thought of with love and respect and as a person who is fun and not too stuffy, but also as someone to be reckoned with, and obeyed! Is that too much to ask?
Sincerely,
Not Intending To Wear Insulting Titles
I told NITWIT she should be happy if she winds up with Grandchildren, and if she does she will discover that she has very little control over what they actually call her.
That said, any potential grandchildren of hers will likely be raised in the modern commercial environment, where branding is essential in just about every line of work.
I suggested she take a hint from the major corporations that are coining new titles with unusual spellings to make liberal use of previously unfashionable consonants like X, Z and Q. What about Z-Mom? GrandQ? Xmater?
But once you choose to take such a path, you’ll have to allocate time and money to support your brand and make sure it gains a substantial foothold in the marketplace of (grandchild) ideas. In other words, be ready to give them toys and candy for using your new name properly. You might also want to think about creating a logo, and then make certain you get that logo onto a mobile that hangs above the crib.
It’s never too early to start!
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
NITWIT-wake up and sniff the pollen-you will be glad to be breathing, let alone have grandchildren to enjoy.
I have been informed by said 12-year-old that he has no plans to have a family, so I will consider myself lucky to have any grandchildren at all.
GlamMa???? seriously?? that sounds like way too much work and would interfere with all the knitting and cookie baking I hope to finally be able to indulge in by then. I am looking forward to being considered to finally be old enough to not have to even try to be trendy and can just comfortably be a preserver of “the old ways”. Somebody has to do it, I volunteer.
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MIG, I believe Goldie Hawn is actually called GlamMa by one or more relatives. I’m guessing there would be days when it’s hard to live up to that.
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Good morning to all:
NITWIT, you might not get to pick what you will be called by your grandchildren. I didn’t. Somehow my grandchildren and my daughter picked Pops as the name my grandchildren use. It was done so that I wouldn’t be confused with their other grandfather whose first name was also Jim and who was called Grandpa Jim.
Everyone seems to like Pops as the name that is used and I think it is okay. I’m not sure what I would have picked if I had been allowed to do the picking. I certainly would be againest any attempt at branding and I don’t want a logo. I know that there is need for promtional work, but not for grandfathers, and branding never seemed to me like a good name for the work done to promote a company or organization
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Jim, your comments remind me of the lyrics from a Best Little Whorehouse in Texas song, regarding tattoos:
Brands belong on cattle, and that ain’t what we’re selling at Miss Mona’s!
(please forgive me if I mis-italicize, but I thought I should give it a try)
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Yes, MIG. That quote very much fits with my thoughts about the use of the word branding by promoters.
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Speechless MIG?
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I’ll bet she was shutting off her italics… (she said from experience.)
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exactly so, BiR.
(and may I just squeal with delight, ooooo, it worked, it worked!)
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If I’m lucky enough to have grandkids, I already have a name. On my mom’s side, we have two traditional names that get passed down to every other generation. My mother is Nonny. It was her grandmother’s nickname and we’ve used “Nonny” so long that both my sisters and I call her that as well. I get “Nana” (someday, hopefully quite a few years from now yet) which was my grandmother and my great-great grandmother’s nickname! My middle sister is already a grandmother and she is “Nana” as well to her grandkids.
Of course, this only works if everyone calls you this name from the time the little ones are born and you pick something that is very easy to pronounce!
I’m off on a road trip to Madison for 2 days… see all you Blevins Book Club folks on Sunday. At 3, right?
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sounds good. see you at 3.
every one else now we can all get there at 2 and talk about sherrilee for an hour with out her knowing about it.
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Make it juicy!
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VS, I hope you had many opportunities to say (or sing) “Hey, Nonny Nonny.”
Clearly your family naming tradition has been in place since the age of Shakespeare.
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Ha ha!
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I assume you meant “mobile phone hanging above the crib”. Got to love Pandora…
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
Dear NITWIT,
You, like others who write to Dr. Babooner, seem to have too much time to think. You have also not yet run into a REAL PROBLEM that requires problem-solving. This issue is NOT it.
Meanwhile, you are missing the main point which is that being a grandparent IS REALLY FUN no matter what the kiddies call you. You get all of the fun and only a little of the work associated with kids. The parents, once those rotten kids who would not listen to me, oops I mean you, now have to be the BAD GUYS. When I see my grandkids in Phoenix we sit at the dining room table drawing with markers and gossiping about the naughty kids in the classroom, Justin Bieber, and bad Halloween costumes. Sometimes I shoot nerf guns with them, too.
And I am the very old-fashioned “Grandma Jacque.” It works fine.
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I have friends who were assigned names because the poor child had 6 sets of grandparents as well as great grandparents who were only in their 60’s. Maybe numbers would work in complex blended families.
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i like it g5 and g6 for this set of grandparents. then you play work up and get a new number when one dies. what do you think?
my wifes family is coming in for her graduation at concordia for her masters degree so my son was cussing them beause my wife gets so uptight when they come because they are nice nice people but they are set in their ways and do stuff like turn on fox news int he kitchen and clean up right after my wife has cleaned up and make her feel bad. my mom on the other hand is like mary poppins and practically perfect in every way….. gotta love disfunction junction. the family mantra.
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Good idea, tim, but using this system of numbering for Grandparents will work as long as you keep it to 6 or fewer. Once you get to G7 the kiddies begin to get the last Gramps on the list mixed up with the finance ministers of the world’s top industrialized nations. Talk about confusion!
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Gosh tim, I did not know your wife and I were sisters!
The s&h gets along just fine with my folks, but knows I find them a strain. The other day he said, “sometimes I forget that Grandma is your mother”-so do I m’boy, so do I.
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Well, my grandchildren could have used a numbering system to resolve the the problem of having two grandfathers with the first name, Jim. One of us could have been Grandpa One and the other Grandpa Two. They would have had to decide how to assign the numbers. I think that niether of us would have made any claims on being number One.
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Or, heck, assign each set of grandparents to a different phone system. Then you could have Verizon Grandma and T Mobil Grandpa. But with phone companies eating each other up, we might be down to a name or two pretty soon. Not such a good idea after all.
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thats a god guy for the christma card and birthday party list. some of those g7 guys give good stuff.
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I always called my mother’s mother “Nownie.” So did everybody else. I was a teenager before I learned that I invented the name, applied it to her and it stuck for general usage. That seems like such a nice, organic way for this name thing to evolve. As usual, Dr. Babooner is dealing with a whiny, self-obsessed baby boomer intent on making mountains of molehills.
There are so many cool names! Grampa and Grandma (last name here) works for me. Gram and Grand are good. It isn’t worth fussing over.
The parents should inform the grandparents that they have two days to make up their minds on this. Make a bleepin’ decision, for bleep’s sake! After that–if no better names have been chosen–the children will be instructed to call them “Geezer Ed and Geezer Joan.” Or whatever their real names are.
Toodle oo, baboons! Geezer Steve
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i had a grandfather who i didn’t call anything very often. he was a nice guy but my dad worked for him for 5 years of misery ( never work for your wifes father) and the result was that we had polite relationships with them but then again so did everyone else. my other grandpa was j.b. and thats what he wanted to be called. his wife died before i was born and he was the grandpa who had the candy on the top of the fridge and played checkers with you at the diningrooming table. people used to ask him why his grandkids caled him j.b. instread of grandpa and he said because thats my name.
i will likely be entering the grandpa phase one of these days but my 9 year old reminded me the other day that i am already older than some of her friends grandarents. she said she was ok with having old parents though. i am not crazy about the noonie and goopie kind of stuff that gets tagged on you because its so cute when a snot nosed little 1 year old tries to talk between spitting up and filling a diaper and comes up wit a words that sounds like a starter name for english as a second language students. its important to be the right grandparent and let the names fall where they may.
my 22 is bringing over the signaifcant other form cosovo as soon as the visa stuf gets looked after. i image that when they have kids the eastern european accent inflections and misuse of words will make life interesting. nice guy my daughters fiance but man is he interesting to talk to from an english 101 point of view. he does speak 6 other languages though so maybe we can find out wat geezer is in italian or slavic and try that on for size.
i am back form vegas, a little toasty from flying the red eye and getting in at 430 this morning but i am the cheap guy who flies the best price instead of the best times so i have myself to blame. i am also too cheap to pay 10 bucks a day for internet on the raod so i do it on my phone but that is about a 3 on a 1-10 so i am afraid i missed yoga and the tail end of the hail stories. too little sleep too little brain left at the end of the day but good stuff just the same.
so dale when gus brings home miss right for sunday dinner i think pappy d is the name i would push for. i am sure they will name their child dale and the best part is it can be named dale if it is a boy or a girl so jsut tell them they can pick out the name they call you and you have picked out the name they are to name the kid.
papa t is what i will shoot for myself. you gotta have an attitude to it doncha think?
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Welcome back, tim, and NO, I would not try to control anything related to naming children that are not my own, especially not to push for the creation of a namesake. Dale has been a good name so far, but it does not have a lot of impact. Not especially memorable, unless you are Dale Earnhardt, Dale Carnegie or Dale Evans. And “Pappy D”? “Pappiness” is a state of mind, but I don’t think I’m up to it.
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if they have twins they could name the other one chip
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Time, they could also try Roy or Hill.
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Big thumbs down on Mammy or Pappy. They conjure instant images of poor white trash sucking on jugs of white lightning. Unless, that is, that is the look you are going for.
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I was the last one in the village that my grandson came up with a name for. When we would all be together he’d go around the table and say a name for each person but me. Then one day he got to me and said Bocker. We have no idea where it came from, but I have been Bocker ever since. He is now a taller than me 12-year old and both he and his 8-year old brother have never called me anything else. The baby sister doesn’t have many words yet but since she has never heard me called anything else, I assume I will get to keep the brand. I love being Bocker and part of the joy of it is that, like Tigger, I’m the only one. I wouldn’t care what they called me though, being a grandmother is wonderful, by any name.
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we trie that too but the grandparents didnt like fitch and fastard as their mispronounced names. glad youre ok with yours though
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That’s wonderful! Of course, what counts is not what they call you but that they DO call you. Bocker. That’s a winner!
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Love it, Bocker is great. Fastard I get the objection to, but what’s wrong with Fitch? A Danish friend of mine became a grandma two years ago. Her son, the father of the grandchild, grew up calling his grandmother “mormor,” Danish for mother’s mother. Now the grandchild calls my friend “mormor” though she is, of course, his “farmor.” Any family confusion will have to be sorted out later, for now my friend is thrilled to be mormor.
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We distinguished between my grandparents by calling one set Omie and Oppa, and the other set Grandma and Grandpa Boom., Boom being the first four letters of their last name. It was quite fitting, since the latter pair were volatile and mercurial. I have no grandchildren as yet, but they can call me what they want once they arrive.
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My grandson is the coolest toddler in the country, which might sound like a boast but I am compelled to deal in facts when on this blog, and he just IS that cool. I think we should follow the practice of the Native American by letting me earn a name through good deeds. I’ll have to take care with purchases to avoid being known as “Busted Big Wheel Steve.” And if the kid is slow to offer his own notion, I’ll settle for “Gandalf the Gray” or “the Dude with the Beard.” That has a nice ring to it. The Dude with the Beard abides. Oh, yeah!
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Either of these are excellent, Steve! 🙂
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maybe Grandalf the Bearded?
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Kinda like Beth-Ann’s friends, Mario (stepson) has 3 moms by now, so I’m Grandma Barbara, which is fine but sort of a mouthful. If we lived close and saw them often, I’d figure out something else… Down south I believe Mimi is used a lot for Grandma, which is kinda cute, but how many of us are the “mimi” type?
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down south they are a lot more likely to be the mimi type. bless their hearts.
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I think grandmothers in the South are also called Meemaw or Mamaw sometimes.
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thats after they ben flavoring their coffee for a spell in the mornin
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As I get a little older I might need a little medication in my coffee in the morning which might lead me to start refering to myself as Da Pop or Poporino.
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On my dad’s side, I had Grandma and Ray. Even as a small child I knew that Grandma and Ray were friends, but not married. Ray even had his own room. When I was in junior high and it finally came to me what “friends” really meant, I felt kinda stupid. But I always considered Ray my grandfather! You could always count on him to have butterscotch candies squirreled away in his pocket for you.
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My grandparents were Bop Bop and Lady Bop Bop – named by the eldest grandchild, my brother. Bop Bop from Grandpa/Grandpop makes some sense in the mind of a toddler, I’m sure – and the lady who lives with him must, therefore, be Lady Bop Bop. Interestingly, my cousins called them “Grandma” and “Grandpa” – but we would swap their names if we were talking among the cousins. I had no say in this, they were Bop Bop and Lady Bop Bop when I came into the world – and those names stuck, even for my friends who met them.
Daughter has a Grandma, who is sometimes Grandma B when we get together with my brother’s family and his mother-in-law (who is Grandma Z). My mom tried briefly to be Mormor for Daughter, but she was already Grandma with my nieces and nephews, so it didn’t stick. Ah well.
Personally, if I live to see a grandbaby or two they can call me whatever they like, so long as it’s not something like, “that evil witch.” I have been told that I have attained “cool aunt” status, so that bodes well for better naming when it comes to being a grandparent. 🙂
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Anna, I love the idea of Bop Bop and Lady Bop Bop.
What kept you from adding Aunt Rama Lama and Uncle Ding Dong?
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Aunt Rama Lama might have enjoyed it, but the recipient of Uncle Ding Dong might have been a bit chagrined – my uncle is a nice guy, definitely not a “ding dong”….
If it makes up for it at all, I am Aunt Ria to my nieces and nephew (Ria is my family nickname – visited upon me by the same brother who christened our grandparents Bop Bop and Lady Bop Bop).
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Morning–
My family has always just used ‘Granma’ and ‘Granpa’ and maybe the last name if it wasn’t clear which set. But for my daughter, she needed a little clearer explanation so it was ‘Granma and Grampa (last name)’ and ‘Mom (last name)’ for Kelly’s Mom.
Interesting to me that there seems more possibilities now for ‘Great’ grandparents. My plain ‘grandparents’ were old so it was never even plausible for ‘Great Grandparents’. And now my Mom and Dad are ‘Great Grandparents’.
Does what I’m talking about make any sense?
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cmon ben in this group you are wondering if you ar emaking sense. we love you man. i can see your daughter wanting a little clarifacation. like jim if everyone is grandpa jim it is confusing but with jim it gets worse becaus ehis last name is more confusing than have two grandpas named jim.
and yes they were old wen i was a kid. i look back now and my moms folks were 60 something. my great grandfather was 90 something when he died when i was 17 or 18. other grandfatehr was 80 when i was 4 so theres what you are talking about.
today i find the 50 and 60 year olds a lot yonger than they were when i was a kid.
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I laughed at this too– thanks tim.
What a bunch…..
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I’d be happy to design a logo but IT just forced a new Windows 7 machine at me and my old graphics program doesn’t work anymore. Thank you, Windows 7. I hate you too.
In answer to NITWIT, compromise. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to have kids call you by your official title but maybe you could be a little flexible. How about ‘G-Ma,’ ‘Grammy,’ or ‘The Matron of Cool’? C’mon…you can still be hip without needing one replaced!
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I kinda like that last bit, TGitH-but am wondering if you would be ok with me ammending it for a (young) friend of mine who just got a new hip to “you can be hip, even if you’ve had one replaced”.
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Sure. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
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TGitH,
I was out planting corn this morning and trying to keep up with the blog on my phone and I laughed right out loud at your windows 7 comment. Thanks for that.
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