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Select Committee On Outer Transport Entitling Review (S.C.O.O.T.E.R.)

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Please forgive me, Baboons, but I’d like to go back to outer space for a moment.

NASA has announced that its future human space travel projects will be based on an astronaut container alluringly called the Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle.

Regardless of how you feel (if you care at all) about NASA’S planned direction away from near earth orbit (NEO) projects and towards deep space exploration, you have to be concerned about this clear victory of the Acronym Based Entitling Lobby (ABEL) over the Name It After Something Real Caucus (NIASRC).

I know they’re engineers and bureaucrats, but please! Every human being is capable of a little poetry. Something attracted these decision makers to the difficult work of planning our off-planet future, but they are keeping their inspiration under wraps with this forgettable name. For anyone dreaming big dreams about traveling into space, it’s hard to get excited about climbing into an MPCV.

And remember, somewhere in the far distant future, historians will look back to this vehicle as the real beginning of the space program because it is the ship that will routinely take us away from our planet. Pilots of much more sophisticated craft will look back and recognize this as the charming low-tech starter model. Calling it “Space Pod 1” would be an improvement. Even “Commodore II” would work for me. In this photo, it looks like a large, fetching black bump that you might see on a movie idol’s cheek. How about “Star Mole”, “Beauty Mark”, or just plain “Marilyn”?

photo from NASA

If this thing is going to carry us into our deep space future, can we help launch it with a proper name?

62 thoughts on “Select Committee On Outer Transport Entitling Review (S.C.O.O.T.E.R.)”

    3. ok, this has been bugging me all day, as I knew I had seen this object before-it’s a CROW (Crew Relocation Outta this World) -you know, Crows-they are like Dots (like at the movie theatre), but black licorice flavored (and spare me the black licorice comments-I happen to love the stuff and think the red is vile).

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      2. In my family we have a Universal Black Jelly Bean redistribution policy – they all go to my younger niece, she’s a big black licorice fan.

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  3. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Last year in Rome we went to an exhibit of Leonardo da Vinci’s inventions which a group of scientists in Florence had built from his drawings. It then went on display in cities throughout the world. It featured an early bicycle without the ability to steer, the famous flying machine, and a tank-like thingie that looks just like the picture above.

    So I propose the name “Leonardo” in honor of his prodigious, brilliant futuristic thought.

    Meanwhile, thanks for all the kind thoughts and comments on the blog yesterday. It was a hard, hard day but all went smoothly with our dog’s family surrounding her in her last moments of awareness. Prior to it she got two bowls of ice cream which put her into a state of hyperactivity worthy of a young pup. And now it is over and we don’t have to dread the decision any more.

    I did not get back to the blog until late in the evening. I love tim’s poem and the cake bake off idea. I love cakes, pies, sweets!

    H

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    1. Thanks for telling us the rest of the story, Jacque. We’ve all been there and know how painful and necessary it is to make that decision.

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  5. Good morning to all:

    To an insect lover, like me, it looks like a big bug. I would call it Big Black Bug or 3B. The astronauts could bug-off into outer space in 3B. What will they do out there? According to the news story the craft can stay out for 21 days. Will they just drift around in outer space?

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    1. I suppose 3B is better than B3, or B-cubed…wouldn’t want to “be cubed” in outer space (bad enough in the corporate world).

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      1. Somehow I automaticly wrote 3B not B3. I agree that B3 or B cubed whould not be good. There might be too many bugs if we had bugs to the third power.

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    2. The Hammond B3 organ is a very cool musical instrument. We could do a lot worse than sending one as our ambassador into deep space. Who wouldn’t love us if their first contact with humans was with Jimmy Smith?

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      2. I agree, Dale. Let’s send Jimmy and a B3 organ into outer space in the black bug shaped craft and I think he should play some compositions by Don Byron who is known for a type of music he called bug music.

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  6. If this thing can only be out for 21 days, how can it get to deep space? Or maybe I don’t really know what “deep space” is. What, can it go at Warp Speed, or Hyperdrive, or something? (A lot my space knowledge comes from Star Trek and Spaceballs). Let’s call it GGHF – Gotta Get Home Fast. But wait – that’s no more poetic than MPCV (and you’re right, Dale, I had to go to the top of article to see what those letters were.

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  8. It reminded me of NASA’s version of a Volkswagen. Kind of a ‘Space Bug.’ With just a little German language subsitution, ‘outer space vehicle’ would translate to ‘Weltraum Wagen.’ Not an acronym but catchy…

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  9. So as to get a little Minnesota connection to this venture, how about Space Probe & Astronaut Mobile, SPAM?

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    1. I spent a couple of years working in the Austin, MN plant where one of the things they make is Spam. I saw many hundreds of thousands of cans of Spam riding around on a very long and winding track, but none went into outer space. The cans did pass through a three story high oven that could cook many of them in a very short period of time.

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      1. Teenager and I are planning a trip over to Rapid City this summer and she has also announced that she does NOT want to stop and see the Spam Museum! Guess it’s not the best stop for two vegetarians!

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      2. no, but you really, really must go to Wall Drug!

        (and at the opposite end of the spectrum but in the same location-the Badlands, which we love more than anything else out there)

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      3. MiG – don’t worry, we will absolutely be going to Wall Drug. One of these days, I’ll tell you the story about why this is a must.

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      4. VS-
        The Spam museum is quick and easy; you can take your time and be done in 45 minutes. Skip the movie and the gift shop, (well, you have to walk through it to get out but you don’t have to shop) skip those, walk fast and you’re out in 20 minutes.
        It’s interesting, nothing gross or really even animal related; mostly the history of Spam, trivia and lots of marketing stuff.

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  10. Let’s put a couple of flame details on it and call it a Little Deuce Coupe – LDC may not have a “ring” to it, but it does come with a swell theme song:

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  14. Afternoon–

    It’s kind of a flashback to the old Apollo capsules isn’t it. And it’s not very big…
    How about a Mini Me sort of theme? Or M&MII? The Black M&M? The BMM? (Ew.. never mind…)

    I’m done.

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  15. I think that we will need space transport to travel around western and central North Dakota in the next few weeks. There has been so much rain and snow in the mountains in Montana, along with lots of snow and rain in both states, that the Garrison Dam in north central ND, fed by the Missouri River, is full, and the Corps of Engineers is releasing tons of water out of the dam into the Missouri as it flows south. That water is flooding Bismarck in a terrible and unexpected way as I type, and the extreme outflows from the dam are expected to last until late July or August. There was lots of development along the river in Bismarck, as people told themselves that it was safe to build near the water since the river level is controlled by the Corps. Well, yes, but now the Corps has to flood them to protect the integrity of the Misssouri water system and the Garrison Dam. They evacuated the Bismarck Zoo animals today due to high water. The only two paved roads north from my area to the oil patch in northwest ND are closed, since all the rain has caused the roads to sink, slide, and shift in the roughest part of the Badlands. The Mouse River in Minot is flooding. The Little Missouri River is flooding Medora in Theodore Roosevelt National Park. The west and central parts of the state are to have rain all weekend and into next week. The snow pack in the Rockies hasn’t really melted yet , so the Yellowstone and Missouri Rivers will be full and flooding us for some time to come. The water table is high in our town and many people have water coming up from the ground into their basements. We are fortunate as our house is up high and well drained. I don’t know if the news agencies are covering this or not, but it is pretty intense out here right now.

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    1. Renee, this is alarming news. Hope you remain safe. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for news about this. Thanks for alerting us.

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    2. Renee: My husband and son coming out of Marines will be driving through to see Mt. Rushmore on their way home from California. Are there highways or areas to avoid around June 7-10? They have their trip all planned, but a forewarning of closed highways, etc., would be helpful.

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      1. Things are ok in South Dakota for now. There is lots of flooding in southeast Montana, like around the Little Big Horn area. They should check the Montana conditions as they come west. There was still snow falling in the Rockies in Montana last weekend, so I don’t know what the mountain passes are like. The important thing to remember is that the water in Bismarck is going to flow south through central and eastern South Dakota and into Iowa, so there could be Missouri flooding in those locations, too. in the next weeks. The Black Hills are too far west, I believe, for flooding problems from the Missouri.

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