We are blessed with a world full of interesting places to go, but lately I’ve been eyeing the sky because there is something terribly frightening and totally irresistible about the notion of space travel. Scoffers say that like South Dakota, outer space is impossibly empty and it has no taxes. Two great qualities! And space is a lot closer than Sioux Falls – only 62 miles away!
Unfortunately, now that the Space Shuttle program’s orbiters are being dressed for museum duty, there is no American-made vehicle that’s suitable for off-planet expeditions. This is a problem if, like me, you prefer a domestic model for all your extraterrestrial trips. Call me fussy – I just don’t care for the fit and finish of those Soyuz capsules. True, I’ve never been in one, but I’ve never been in an Apollo capsule either and yet I have taken thousands of imaginary NASA voyages. Soyuz? Zero. Besides, I’ve made some assumptions about the places where Russian craftsmanship and too much vodka might intersect – probably in the construction of the airtight bulkhead and where the electrical systems meet explosive gasses. Unfair, I know, but on such small prejudices is brand loyalty built.
Still, I am forced to accept the reality of the situation – I am a baby boomer and my pioneer time has expired. My government is not going to send me into space unless it’s with a limited air supply as part of a larger plan to reduce the cost of Medicare. Meanwhile, our decision makers have been flip-flopping on the goal of the next mission. Is it the Moon? Is it Mars? Or should we compromise and aim for an empty spot halfway between the two? It would be hard to get excited about reaching an empty, airless state of suspension with no gravity to pull you in any direction. Job seekers know you can achieve that kind of limbo today, without leaving home.
But there’s good news too! There is new energy behind the commercial space industry, and there are fabulously wealthy wanna-be astronauts who are looking for ways to have a unique experience. These Moon-eyed potential customers will lead us into the next era of space travel! They’ve already accomplished a great deal on planet Earth, and in the process have accumulated sufficient resources to pack a 10-story tall rocket booster full of $1,000 bills. Now it’s a simple matter of lighting a small fire to generate the needed lift. And several private companies are racing to strike that match.
The firm Space Adventures has already sent 7 well financed people on journeys to the International Space Station at a price of 20 to 35 million a head. Sensing a limit to the appeal of near-Earth travel, the company is also selling trips around the moon and back inside a three-seat capsule. It’s basically the same route taken by Apollo 13, but without the unplanned explosions and near-death experience. The ticket cost? 150 million. One spot has already been taken and one seat is needed for a pilot to fly the thing (go figure). That still leaves one space open for travel into open space. Late seat assignment note: you might not get the window.
For potential cosmic voyagers with a thinner wallet, Space Adventures offers some bargain astronaut/cosmonaut-like experiences, including solely terrestrial trips to watch a launch in central Asia. The real attraction here is an opportunity to pay almost $16 thousand dollars to spend a few hours in a Soyuz flight simulator, which according to the Space Adventures website, “has been in use since the 1960’s.” Enticing! And if that price is too steep, I can arrange a domestic excursion where, for half that amount you’ll get to spend the whole day sitting in a Chevy Corvair which has also been in use since the 1960’s. Extra bonus – when the session is done you can take it home!
Elon Musk’s commercial venture, SpaceX, isn’t flying passenger missions right now, but the company is trumpeting last Spring’s receipt of a contract from NASA to figure out a quick way to get the 7 passengers in its Dragon capsule safely back to the ground in the event of a sudden launch emergency. That’s an exciting scenario, but only if you have the pleasure of watching other people deal with it!
And then there’s Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic. The company is already building a spaceport (Spaceport America!) in New Mexico, and claims to have a list of at least 400 people who have signed up to take a sub orbital flight in a vehicle called SpaceShipTwo (you know a vehicle is tight inside when there’s no room for spaces in its name). The plan is for the craft to be released at 50 thousand feet from a large, two-fuselage carrier plane called Virgin MotherShip Eve. A rocket then propels the 8 passenger SpaceShipTwo high enough to see inky galactic black above and a thin line of Earthy blue below, with five minutes of recreational weightless time before you have to strap in for your glide back to the ground. In this sense, Virgin Galactic is expanding on the proven success of the Disney World scenario – high entry price/long wait/short ride. Sorry for the delay – there will be no flights until at least 2013. But a 20 thousand dollar down payment is due immediately against your final cost of 200 thousand. It does guarantee you a spot in our airtight teacup, though. So go have a hot dog and watch the fireworks – a Cast Member will call you when it’s time to strap in.
Realistically, these space travel options could only appeal to adventurous people who combine extravagant wealth with exceedingly deep reserves of patience and a suppressed fear of death. It would also help to have a good imagination. How many people do you know who combine all these qualities? If anyone comes to mind, salute them with a glass of Tang and a package of space food sticks, because they represent the next frontier in human flight!
You’re weightless! Now what?
Trail Baboon 
Sorry Dale, this is your fantasy not mine. I want to remain here on the ground with my feet firmly planted on the nice, safe ground. Be sure to send me a post card!
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R and S Baboons: DItto to Beth-Ann’s comment. Not my fantasy at all. Feet firmly planted and all that.
I got up late–happens rarely. Must be off.
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Good morning to all,
I’m weightless? That might be interesting for a while. I have heard that astronauts enjoy this experience. Also I have heard that long periods of being weightless are not good for your body. . Please don’t leave me weightless for too long, I might turn into some kind of a strange space creature. I have enough trouble with being spaced out. I don’t need a spaced out body.
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For years, in response to various computer/electronic malfunctions, my standard response has been “That’s why I’ll never go up in the space shuttle.” Suppose now that there’s no space shuttle, I’ll have to modify my rant. Then again, maybe not.
And if I knew anyone with that kind of money to throw around, you’d better believe I would have figured out a way to get a new driveway out of them by now!
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I have a one-word explanation for my reluctance to take a Russian rocket anywhere: Trabant. That’s the car they invented to make the Yugo look like a Mercedes. And how am I supposed to put my faith in a company that invents a “Virgin Mothership?”
Weightlessness might be fun for a day or two, but at $200K I can pass on that. The main allure of outer space is all the stuff I can imagine doing up there to make history of the sort they could never print. “He was first to do WHAT in outer space?”
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i’ll bet you could land some great free lance gigs form the capsule with a laptop and a connection to the ap you could be on you way as our cosmic journalist
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Take a long trip in cramped quarters with primitive bathrooms just so I can get somewhere where the fishing and hunting isn’t any good and then write an article making it sound romantic? Hey, I HAD that job and walked away from it.
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A good exchange this morning you guys… Thanks for the laugh.
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Steve, I have an idea for a book you could write. How about a book about back yard wild life. I’m thinking birds. I have noticed that birds that visit my back yard do a lot of interesting things I don’t completely understand. I’m sure there is a lot of good info about birds that could be put together in book form to enchance bird watching. i would like to investigate some of this information myself
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I wouldn’t mind being weightless if it meant that I could get tot the top of the chokecherry tree to pick before the birds get there. I don’t need to go too far up, just 15 feet or so, then back to earth.
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That would be VERY cool to be able to just float 15 feet up. Or say anywhere between 10-50 feet. It would be easy to prune trees. Cleaning the gutters would be a snap. Reaching things from the top shelf? No problem! And I’m sure there would be some recreational things one could do at that height, too.
But it would not be for me. Since I am terrified of heights, at least heights where there is nothing between me and the drop-off, I would probably get only one or two feet off the ground before I decided to go back to earth.
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I’ve got some acrophobia issues too, but I think lessening gravity and the impact of the suddent stop would go a long way towards curing me 🙂
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could michele bachmann be shipped up to see if weightlessness does anything to her brain? she can call it a business meeting and take the 200,000 from the stash of funding from god and anti porn donors and giggle like a school girl at the sight of earth as she did with the sight of w in that famous scene where michele won;t let go of his shoulder. maybe we could get pawlenty cantor and boehner to join her and hope for an apallo 13 like scenerio. remember the 3 guys in the floating crystal pane of glass in the superman movie? i see these 4 floating endlessly in time beating on the glasss in space wishing someone would care that they walked out of the meeting.
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Love it! How soon can we accomplish this before she starts gaining steam in a presidential race?
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perhaps it has already been done?
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As a kid, my Barbie dolls worked for NASA (mostly in Houston in the mission control center) – I thought that would be totally cool. Perhaps that is why sitting in front of a computer all day doesn’t seem so bad now that I’m a grown-up. I toyed with wanting to be an astronaut, and there is still some appeal to space flight for the 9-year-old me who also still wants an Easy Bake Oven – but mostly I wanted to be doing the science and computery things on the ground (with maybe one chance to be up and see the Earth from space since that would be totally awesome).
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Now I’m going to be stuck with the image of Mission Control completely staffed by Barbies.
Given her outrageous contours, I wonder if the computer consoles would be built differently, perhaps with screens more at eye level so Booster Systems Engineer Barbie can see her readouts clearly.
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No, no, no, I just want to lose 20 lbs., not be weightless. Having visited Cape Canaveral and seen the Space shuttle at the Science Museum’s Omnitheater is as close to space travel as I care to come. Besides, long overseas flights have more than convinced me that being cooped up in a confined space with limited toilet facilities for extended periods of time is not my idea of fun. I’m also not crazy about the space suits, not to mention the TV dinners they’d no doubt serve onboard. I think I’ll take a pass on this opportunity.
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But don’t you think the onboard movies would be good?
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I doubt it, and they’d probably want to charge extra for a couple of miserable head phones.
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Greetings! Being weightless is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for to be the acrobatic dancer I’ve always wanted to be! I’d perform perfect pirouettes, truly grand jetes, swirling series of flips, jumps, mid-air twists and corkscrews — and not hurt a single joint or ligament. It would be a dream come true for about 20-30 minutes. Then let me gently back down to earth.
Rather like the one time in college I did a dance piece with partner lifts. Despite my size and weight (even when I’m thin), my partner was tall, lean, muscular and knew what he was doing because he had 5 sisters who were professional dancers. So when we did our lifts, I would sail through the air higher and longer than the other smaller girls because the other male dancers didn’t have much experience with partner lifts. And my partner knew how to bring me back to the floor gently — that was SUCH fun! That’s my closest experience to weightlessness and flying.
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That sounds like a wonderful experience!
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Pass the Tang! 🙂
Chris
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Would you like it straight or spiked with a little vodka?
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Straight, no chaser for me. 🙂 (But I prefer my vodka in martini-like drinks.)
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And don’t forget the Space Food Sticks! I loved those chocolatey, fudgy sticks wrapped in shiny foil as a kid.
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I tried Space Ice Cream at the Smithsonian once. So gross.
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Excellent, Chris.
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Morning!
Yeah…. if I had the money space flight would be pretty cool. But if I had the money my lifestyle would be significantly different and I’d need more money. So then if I had that much MORE money…. yeah. Cool.
This would require more practice but might be cheaper:
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WAY more practice. Fabulous!
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wow that is the colest thing ever. come to think of it i used to feel a little like that when i had my vodka martini style remember having to put one foot on the floor to make it stop?
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Not quite apropos of the subject, but there’s an anime called “Planetes” that illlustrates very well the reality of weightlessness and other issues of living and working in space. There’s a ring of debris (which exists even now) between the earth and moon, threatening travel to and from the moonbase, and the main characters are scavengers cleaning up the mess. There’s a scene in which civilians are killed when a small metal screw punctures their shuttle, so you understand how important this really is (this junk is traveling at high speed!). The series is unique and quite good as I recall, so long as you avoid the hideously schmaltzy tacked-on final episode.
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Now this looks like fun to me: http://youtu.be/I4U6T_BB1N8
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OMG! NO thank you!
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No,no,no!
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yes yes yes
i would give a great deal to be able to spend a couple days doing that. that is incredible
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Yeah, that’s just a little bit crazy but BOY WOULD IT BE FUN!!
Anybody here parachuted? My son’s 19th birthday is coming up and his birthday request is to go skydiving with some friends. I said Yes, but I want to go along. Maybe when I’m 19.
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No, never tried parachuting, but I have tried parasailing. GREAT fun. Very exhilarating, and just a tad scary. Good luck to your son. Sounds like a memorable 19th birthday.
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get him a million dollar life insurance policy for 30 years because you cant get ne afterward
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Oh, Ben and PJ, those both look like SO much fun. I’m with those of you who want to be not quite weighless, but less weight, on earth. Joanne, you’ve got it – all those flips and dance moves we could do so easily.
I really have no imagination when it comes to actual physical space travel. I do sometimes imagine a sort of astral projection kind of thing, where my … ? soul or psyche can go tripping and come back – if that can be done, why bring the body along. Only done it through dreaming so far.
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Oh man, that sounds really woo woo, doesn’t it!
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Plain old dreaming works for me. Doesn’t require any luggage either!. And you could travel both back and forth in time.
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Not at all — Jim has all of Robert Monroe’s books about “travels outside the body.” They’re quite amazing and fascinating books.
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I’ll check ’em out, Joanne.
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My first thought on reading the question was weightless, as in I can eat whatever I want without being weight-full??? Pass me that second Guinness and some more chips! (no Tang in my Guinness, please)
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Just wish I weighed less – don’t care to be weightless!
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Gravity can be useful in keeping the house in order. If you put some books on the bookshelves, they usually stay. What if they just floated off? Then you’d have to go out and buy those bookshelves with the glass panels in the front. All kinds of stuff would have to be bolted down so you wouldn’t lose it.
It would also be very tricky to try to separate an egg in space. You need gravity to pull the white away from the yolk. And, I remind you, you cannot make Anna’s chocolate mousse without separating the eggs. Which reminds me, I’m kinda in a mousse mood.
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i don’t know if youd need bookshelves if stuff floated, just books over in that general area with a couple of things strapped to the wall to keep them out of the kitchen while linda is over there trying to separate those eggs whites. you know you wouldn’t need a bowl to whisk the eggs. just do it in the middle of the room and then gravity wouldn’t make them fall for hours. imagine the souffles. in space you need souffle balls that will float in the oven and hold the eggs in one general area long enough to cook them up
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It’s just comforting to know that there are Baboons thinking like this.
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hollandais with my asparagus tis time of year
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In space no one can hear you steam
the asparagus
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Completely OT. We’ve just returned from the Tuesday evening dance at the Minnesota History Center. Tonight’s band was Trailer Trash, and a great time was had by all. Great place for people watching even if you don’t get into the dancing. Round up the kids and go. Check out their line-up of bands. Except for parking, it’s free fun for people of all ages, you can even bring your dog: http://www.minnesotahistorycenter.org/events-programs/nine-nights-of-music
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Ooh-ooh! Dan Newton’s Cafe Accordion Orchestra on August 16! (And I just scheduled something that night – dang.)
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Meant to put this under PJ’s…
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gotta be careful what you put nder your pj’s
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