Now that the Iowa’s over promoted Straw Poll has ended, there are truckloads of national political horserace reporters available for temporary re-assignment. Perhaps that’s why President Obama met the hoard more than halfway, starting his Midwest tour at a point conveniently between Ames and the Minneapolis airport.
While the approval rating handicappers and political spinners tried to deduce the nation’s mood from the interaction between the chief executive and 500 or so Cannon Fallsters, ordinary people can be forgiven for their genuine excitement at seeing the President of the United States (POTUS), whether they support his policies or not.
Ben Rutter, a 19-year-old college student from Cannon Falls, told the Worthington Daily Globe that getting to shake the president’s hand is a “once-in-a-lifetime” experience.
“It’s pretty awesome to see him in your hometown,” he said. “Especially your small hometown.”
Everyone should be excited to see the president – any president. Ultimately, all men and women are surprisingly ordinary – even the famous ones. That’s what makes us all so lovable. But the title and all the responsibility that comes with being POTUS – now that’s something special.
I stood on a street corner in Minneapolis to get a glimpse of George W. Bush a few years ago, and I thought I saw a hand wave behind smoked glass as his motorcade sped by. Not much to go on – but I still remember it. I doubt that he remembers me. I can only guess that from behind your Secret Service escort, every collection of tired-looking middle aged bald guys begins to blur with the scenery.
But even Michele Bachmann couldn’t hide her excitement at greeting W. Remember this famous moment from her first few weeks in Washington in 2007?
Well of course you’d be delighted. There have only been 44 U.S. Presidents, so why not grab one as he goes by and see how long you can stay connected? Though maybe it wasn’t the man Michele found so invigorating. She might have been trying, even then, to hang on to the office.
You are a touring (campaigning!) President of the United States, and someone has just handed you their baby. What do you do?
Trail Baboon 
If I were Bill Clinton, I would hastily deny paternith.
LikeLike
paternity
LikeLike
Give the babe a friendly little cuddle, pose for the obligatory photo, promise to do my best to make our country a better place for the tike…and when I think I can, take a quick sniff of the baby’s head. Don’t know what it is, but the smell of “baby” (especially their hair/heads) is a little intoxicating – I’m sure it’s one of those “survival of the species” things that’s hardwired (and I’m sure Mr. Gould would have useful things to say about it).
LikeLike
Oh, you would really have to be careful with that. The headlines to follow shortly would read, “C-anna-didate addicted to baby sniffing!” “Hopeful Anna: Baby Heads…the new CRACK!” and “Presidential Hopeful Gets Drunk With Babies!” Can you imagine what Fox News would do with that?
LikeLike
The first hit is always free… 😉
LikeLike
Really? I didn’t think -anything- associated with babies was free.
LikeLike
At least if the kid isn’t yours, you can always give ’em back. That’s free (discounting any potential need for gifts and such if you are the aunt or uncle).
LikeLike
Good morning to all,
I would try my best to give the baby back before it started crying. If the baby doesn’t look like it is going to cry, there would a lot of things I could do to make myself look good. Of course, the traditional thing to do would be to kiss the baby. Maybe I could get a little creative and hold the baby with one hand while putting my other hand in front of my face to play peek-a-boo with the baby. I supose I should be sure to let everyone know that the baby isn’t there because it is the result of an unwedded daughter’s unexpected pregnancy and also, as Beth-Ann suggested, I would want to make it clear that I am not one of it’s parents.
LikeLike
Hold that baby at arm’s length until I ascertain whether it’s dry or wet… then (if it’s dry) find a place to sit down and get into a nice cuddly position. Babies are more fun to hold sitting down, in my book. Then, as Anna mentioned, smell its head.
LikeLike
Yes, I think it would be good to check to see if the baby is wet. Also, there could be a deposite in the baby’s diaper that would produce a smell that would conflict with the smell of the baby’s head. Here is a potential press attention winner, help the parent change the baby’s diaper.
LikeLike
i am a baby sniffer. that smell is one of those little things yougotta get when you can. a gentle toss and a hug before a kiss on top of the head if the kid is receptive. i want the kids vote for sure. i think so manybabies are funny looking that i may have to hide my amusement, my kids all looked like winston churchill when they were babies. its a kick seeing the parents features shrunk down to pint sized little heads with no hair.
LikeLike
I would make goofy faces and try to get the baby to laugh. I am particularly good at this, I might add, and babies rarely cry when hold them.
LikeLike
And I’m sure you’d make a Newsweek cover…
LikeLike
I just found fun pictures. Apparently some White House visitors handed their crying baby to Michelle Obama who passed it off to the POTUS. Baby stopped crying (by presidential decree?). The look the President gives his wife is wonderfully captured http://www.mediaite.com/online/michelle-obama-hands-a-crying-baby-to-president-obama-baby-stops-crying/
Just to be clear-as a resident of the 6th District, I would NOT hand a defenseless baby to my current representative.
LikeLike
I like that baby-with-President Obama clip. Very sweet. He seems pretty comfortable holding a baby, even a crying one.
And definitely a good choice to not hand a baby to your current rep. The very idea is creepy.
LikeLike
Heck, I’d quit crying if I could lay my head on Obama’s shoulder…
LikeLike
Yes, but, she is a Licensed Foster Parent!
LikeLike
If she were to be elected president, just think of all the trashy tell-all books that could be written by all those foster children.
LikeLike
TeeHee
LikeLike
Depends on what the baby is doing- a crying, sleeping and smiling baby all need different things. I’d much rather hold a baby than try and figure out how it’s parents can get a job in this economy.
Jim, did you hear the POTUS was at Seed Savers? Can’t think of a nicer place to be in Iowa!
LikeLike
Oh, I didn’t hear about the, MID. Maybe I should send him and his wife some hierloom seeds to plant in the White House garden.
LikeLike
Additionally Jim, I just heard the Department of the Interior is looking for a new White House gardener- part of the announcement goes as follows:
“Individuals work in an environment which includes contact with the occupants of the White House, extreme security measures, an unending series of planned formal events, coordination with and oversight by multiple agencies, individuals and organizations, high level security clearances, unplanned emergencies and special events, intense scrutiny by the public, the press, and the occupants of the White House, and the constant possibility of an extreme incident occurring.”
I did think it was too bad the first lady was not along for this, as I believe she is the gardener. I’ve also read that the President does not care for beets, so stay away from those.
LikeLike
Man, talk about a high stress job: “…the constant possibility of an extreme incident occurring.” — Wowza! I wonder if that includes the dreaded phrase “Cows are out!”…
LikeLike
With that job description I can see why they are looking for a new gardener and I wonder if anyone would want that job.
LikeLike
I saw that on the news and thought of you too Jim.
‘POTUS’ — if there’s a better acronym I don’t want to hear it.
LikeLike
I’m retired and that job certainly wouldn’t bring me out of retirement.
LikeLike
JIm, I am guessing you got the Seed Saver’s Newsletter already-sounds like they gave him a nice selection of seeds to take home, but doubtless you’ve got some they didn’t think of.
Greater Washington has some excellent gardens besides those at the White House. I’ve always thought it would be lovely to work at Mount Vernon-wonderful gardens and nice view from the porch.
LikeLike
I was a baby handed to Hubert H. Humphrey. He kissed me.
LikeLike
Wow, so you’re famous!
LikeLike
har, har. i am pretty sure that my name was not recorded by HHH’s biographer.
LikeLike
I’m a little jealous.
LikeLike
Wow, I’m pretty sure nobody’s been jealous of me before!
LikeLike
I think Jim’s on the right track. If the baby is not screaming when it is handed to you, you have to assume that it will at any instant. And what goes from a placid, cute photo-op turns into a high-stressor, uncomfortable ‘how can I get rid of this kid gracefully?’ crisis situation.
I like the First Lady’s idea of having a designated baby ‘hand-off’ receiver. Politically, this is also a good thing to have because, if something goes wrong, there’s someone else to immediately shoulder the blame.
I remember reading a comic one time wherein the cranky, surly, unsypathetic main character had been made pope. As he’s trying to deliver a speech to terrorize the masses into giving him all of their gold, a woman keeps shouting to ‘bless my baby’ and holds up an infant that won’t stop screaming. Neither the woman nor the kid will stop, so the pope composes himself and acquiesces, “I will bless your baby and teach a valuable lesson at the same time.” He picks up the baby and icily says, “Bless you.” Then he throws the baby into the crowd as far as he can and says, “The lesson is that you can get what you want and still not be happy.” The woman sobs, “…my baby…” The pope concludes, “You’re welcome.”
When it comes to holding up babies, I’m always reminded of the priest that I was an altar boy for during most of my time ‘in the show.’ Immediately after a baptism, he would take the baby from the mom, put one hand under its bottom, wrap his thumb and middle finger around the baby’s neck with the other hand and hold it up to the congregation and say (with his very thick, Italian-laden accent), “Don’t-a you feel like appaulding?” Remarkably, he never dropped one. I guess miracles do happen…
LikeLike
I think I’d look for someone else to take the baby off my hands. I’m not much of a baby person. To me, kids are more interesting when they’re old enough to talk and feed themselves.
Maybe if there was someone nearby who looked like a parent, I would say “Here, wanna smell this baby?” and hand him off quickly.
LikeLike
I’m with you. Kids are much more fun when they’re old enough to have their minds messed with.
I once told my sister’s oldest that Brooklyn Blvd. was named that because the road goes all the way to Brooklyn, NY. He didn’t believe me. I pointed to the fact that I-35 runs all the way to Texas. He really wasn’t sure whether to believe me or not after that. Heh…they’re right…kids ARE fun to play with.
LikeLike
That’s exactly what I do when they’re old enough. Just mess with the fact enough so they’re not sure what’s true anymore. FUN!
When they’re still toddlers / infants I explain the difference in screwguns and impact wrenches, Astronomical Units and Growing Degree Days. There’s so much learning in this world you gotta start them early.
LikeLike
One of my husband’s friends has a picture of himself being dandled on Joe McCarthy’s knee. His family were big-time republicans in Wisconsin.
LikeLike
Is dandling still legal?
LikeLike
Pending a judicial decision on the Dandling Freedom of Choice Act.
LikeLike
My feelings about babies are one of the reasons I’ve never run for POTUS. I’m terrified of all the responsibility of just holding one. What if I drop it? What if I hate the smell of its head? I faced it a long time ago – I’ll never be President.
LikeLike
the fishies gain is the nation’s loss…..
LikeLike
Neither George Bush nor the baby look very happy in this photo http://www.seansite.net/odds-and-ends/dear-mr-president-by-pink
LikeLike
Back when the s&h was much younger and W was on the campaign trail, the security was so intense at his events, I seriously wondered about the people holding up their babies. How could that even be safe?!?!
then there are these: Pictures from Decorah, if you care to look:
http://theobamadiary.com/
LikeLike
Ooh, thanks, mig, these are wonderful. Reminds me of the person I voted for.
LikeLike
Hey, my husband’s cousin is the guy right in the front with Obama in one of the pictures. (Lou is from the Decorah area and has many, many rellies there).
LikeLike
I remember this one – if memory serves, the baby started crying once W was holding him.
LikeLike
Rise and Shine Baboons:
I think I would take Anna’s strategy–smile, have my picture taken, etc. However, the condition of the baby is important here. If the baby has been freshly bathed, heaven. A dirty baby or even a clean baby with a loaded diaper–no thanks. Maybe presidents or candidates should have a child protection worker right there!
LikeLike
sore wrist
can’t type
LikeLike
Bummer!
LikeLike
so use your nose
LikeLike
ha that’s right make fun of someone with disabilities, cruel woman
1
LikeLike
just trying to make a constructive suggestion (for the greater merriment of all-at least I didn’t say-like tim does-just kidding tim, I think what you do with your toes is amazing)
LikeLike
if you knew how miserable i am you would hang yourself in abroom closet and never taunt a cripple again 😦
LikeLike
this sounds bad, Steve-I’ve been on the verge of carpal tunnel any number of times with a nice dose of tendonitis to top it off, so I can guess at the pain (still not going to hang myself in the broom closet-I should be so lucky as to HAVE a broom closet).
I recommend some splints to keep the wrists straight-doesn’t entirely solve the problem , but at least it doesn’t get worse.
LikeLike
can’t wrist
sore type
LikeLike
Greetings! Well of course you kiss (and sniff) the baby for like 5-10 seconds with a big smile … then hand baby back and move on before the creature makes trouble. The video of Bachmann with Dubya is hysterical — she’s such a media whore.
I just wanted to refer to yesterday’s post from Dale about train schedules and autistic children. Read an article about a young man with autism (high functioning) who eventually got a job working somewhere like Metro Transit. He was fascinated with bus schedules and was familiar with riding the buses in this large city (can’t remember where). So he did customer service by helping people with their bus trips and finding the best connections and times. Rather inspiring to me.
LikeLike