Since I happily made a big fuss over the birthday of cockroach and cat poet Don Marquis a few weeks ago, it would feel wrong somehow to neglect another towering name in the pantheon of not-really-taken-too-seriously rhymers.
Today is Ogden Nash‘s birthday, born in Rye, New York in 1902.
He tried being a stock broker and a school teacher before turning to making up words for a living. It was his good fortune to live during a time when people enjoyed puns. His funny little poems made him famous. Nash was a familiar guest on radio in its heyday, though I can only imagine the pressure he was under to keep the clever quips coming. I hope it was easy for him.
Ogden Nash is best known for his very short works. As in:
Candy is dandy
but liquor is quicker.
And:
The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I’m glad it sits to lay its eggs.
But here he breaks the pattern, stretches it out, and gives us something that still feels true today:
I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
And then he gets extremely wordy (and funny). At least I recognize myself in this one:
There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don’t mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren’t caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologzie publicly for their wife’s housekeeping or their husband’s jests;
If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn’t by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don’t spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
When someone begs you for a compliment, do you deliver?
Trail Baboon 
Good morning, fellow baboons!
I can’t have one policy for responding to blatant appeals for a compliment. In general, such appeals reflect values I do not share and they make me uneasy by trying to manipulate me. I almost always kick back when people try to push me one way or another. So in most cases, someone trying to yank a compliment out of me will instead get a response that makes a joke of what they’re trying to do. It is usually possible to laugh about the manipulation without being edgy or harsh. And if I think the person seeking praise really should know better, my response might not be so kind.
But some folks who beg for a compliment are basically nice people with poor self esteem, and for them I might offer charity in the form of elaborate praise. Fishing for compliments is one form of rudeness, but I’m not responsible for correcting other people’s manners. I reserve the right to be generous with people who can’t help themselves. They are more weak than pushy, and I know enough about weakness to judge it with a dash of forgiveness.
LikeLike
Well said, Steve – your wrist must be better…
LikeLike
Morning all! Back from “The Heads” yesterday afternoon. Glorious trip, too short.
Like Steve, I just go ahead w/ the compliment for the “apology fisher”… life is too short to get my shorts in a bunch about someone else’s neediness. With one exception… I know one woman who is the queen of this. It’s not possible to have a conversation with her that she doesn’t badmouth herself, her work, her life in general. And in a whiny voice to boot. I’ve pretty much gotten to the point where I am silent when she starts in. Not enough compliments on the planet for this one.
I am one of those people who apologize for things that other people complain about. Then they say “It’s not your fault.” To which I reply “I know, but I can still be sorry.” I figure that “I’m sorry” is just as good a response to someone’s sorrows as “Uh huh” or “I see”.
LikeLike
I apologize, too for things that are not my fault – Husband has a bad day, I apologize. Co-worker’s project goes pear-shaped, “so sorry.” It’s sort of a shorthand for “so sorry to hear that.” And I agree, it sometimes seems better than “oh dear” or “uh huh.”
LikeLike
I have been known to apologize for things like the state of our front yard (which truly needs to be apologized for), and not meant it to be fishing for anything – though it seems people take it that way. No really – it’s horrid. I mean it. And I apologize for it…
As for other people fishing – I’m with VS. If someone is fishing for a compliment, maybe they’re really proud of something but too shy to just ask what you think. The eternal complainers and “I’m not good enough” folks are a different matter. (I have also, I readily admit, get that Sally Field feeling of “you like me – you really really like me!” when I hear an unexpected compliment.)
LikeLike
Good morning to all,
I think I am in agreement with Steve. In many cases I don’t mind responding positively when someone is fishing for a compliment. My problem is my own failure to be able to tell when someone is doing the fishing and might appreciate a compliment. Other times I think I can tell that a compliment is being sought when no one is responding and I might be the first one that comes forward with the compliment. This all gets very complicated. Maybe there is a good reason why no one is coming forward with a compliment when one is sought and I don’t know what is going on.
I think Ogden Nash was good at pointing out the confusing nature of the way people relate to each other. I remember him as a well know personality that my father liked. I can’t remember much about his work on the radio, but I think my family did listen to him over the radio. We might have had a book of his poetry and I think a few of his poems were in a text book that was used in one of my high school English classes.
LikeLike
I have a set of six books of Ogden Nash’s poems – part of my mom’s move that already got moved, so they’re at home and I’m down here. We will eventually put them on Craig’s list if I don’t find a home for them – any takers?
LikeLike
Hi Barbara: I’m also temporarily heading for Iowa today, back tomorrow. I’ll wave at you when I’m near Marshalltown.
LikeLike
I’ll take ’em!
LikeLike
Rise and Shine Baboons!
I’m sorry for my greeting….I know it’s getting really old after all this time. But it reminds me of my grandmother who used to say it all the time…I hope you don’t mind…………….
Ogden Nash is an awfully lot of fun. What a wit. Thanks for those poems Dale. I’m kind of in the same class as Steve, Anna, and JIm, though–take it individually. Sorry for such a common opinion, I really can’t think for myself on this…
I hope you don’t mind….
LikeLike
Of course not, Jacque – it’s a lovely greeting. Besides, my mom always said it, too – and called me Mary Sunshine to boot. Sorry if being compared to my mom is unappealing 😉 …
LikeLike
What fun would life be without our little traditions?
LikeLike
Thanks to both of you for soothing my fragile ego. I just feel so much better. I’m so sorry you had to do that for me. I hope you don’t mind….
Really, I’ll just apologize for living. I shouldn’t have. Really.
LikeLike
blame your parents. in the words of Han Solo, it’s not your fault.
LikeLike
Oh, I just realized that this is also the birthday of one of my heroes. Art Fry, inventor of the post-it note!
LikeLike
I like post-it notes. I’m such a cheap skate I save envelopes out of junk mail for grocery lists, etc.
LikeLike
Junk mail envelopes also make excellent bookmarks.
LikeLike
We do that too – there’s a place for Husband to put the coupons!
LikeLike
Also good for jotting down recipes.
LikeLike
I have started to use a new parenting program called The Nurtured Heart approach in which the parent strategizes how to focus whenever possible on positive behavior and give positive feedback instead of getting caught up in negative behavior.(It has an effective consequence strategy for rule infractions, too.) It can be particularly effective with adoptive/foster kids. Sometimes it is really hard to find anything good to say to these kids, and the most positive compliment a person could give would be “I noticed that you didn’t say the F word at breakfast today. That was so impressive and shows how much self-control you have and what a respectful person you really are”.
LikeLike
I think it is important to show respect for children and not yell at them all the time even if they are difficult and not behaving well. I’m sure positive feedback helps, but at least heavy negative feedback should be avoided. I know that a lot of yelling at children really doesn’t work and that seems to be an approach that is frequently used.
LikeLike
You are quite right, Jim. The basic premise of this approach is that each child has greatness within and it is up to the adults to point it out and make the child aware of it.
LikeLike
When our son was 14 and at his least loveable (?sp) stage, I was working for my small consulting group that was big on positive tecnniques like this, Jacque. For his birthday I borrowed one of their ideas, and we made a card that listed all his wonderful traits that we could come up with (and it took a while). He was completely blown away – it was the best birthday present we could have given him that year.
LikeLike
nice memory
LikeLike
There is a very old book that is also good for this approach: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Every copy I’ve ever owned has been stolen/lost. Now I only buy it used because I know it will disapper. The true reflection of a quality of a parenting book in my opinion.
LikeLike
Note to cabin gathering baboons: I have purchased five Chautauqua tickets for “Riding the Wind.” The performance begins at about 7:30 Thursday evening. There are open tents outside the main tent, and that’s where people gather before the performance. That’s where we will be.
As tiny as my cabin is, there is room for at least one more person.
LikeLike
it is among the favorite pet peeves and also things i pity on the lanet. i had a mother in law that would give multitudes of gifts for birthdays , anniversaries, christmas, st albans day and there would be hours spent wrapping and fussing. she had a tough time being subtle about her need to have you thank her for these things, a woden spoon, another wooded spoon, another wooden spoon oh thank you you can never have enough ooden spoons, oh look another wooden spoon… she was the leave t to beaver vntage mom where she stayd home to cook and shop and dust and that was her life. the problem was no one except her cared at all. my wfe would massage the need but the extent of the reach for a positive stroke was painful. my mother has gone from industrious to motorized. she wakes and starts runnign around in circles and stops when the batteries run out. she is always trying to think of doing something to make someone in needs life better and she wears herself out doing it. it is exhausting to watch. i try to ask her what she would like to do, she is a very talented painter and jewelry maker who is into art therapy and womens groups and the stuff she could do if not for the time spent driving to get a quart of milk for the lady down the street who as it turns out got her own and didn’t appreciate the gesture anyway. i try to stand in another indians moccasins but i have t admit the compliment seekers are one of my bigger challanges. the world is pretty screwed up excet for me and the rest of the baboons and somtimes i’m not so sure about the rest of you either. off to the day. ynakees are in town and the twins are obviously throing in the towel ut i will be ther to give them compliments this weekend. hope i can find a spot to praise. last night was tough ther than gardy getting thrown out of the game in the first inning so he didnt have to wach his cb scout lineup go against the goliaths.
ot-steve and or other tc based cabin weekend participants… anyone got room for a guitar? i would like to bike up and the guitar might be fun if there is room.
LikeLike
“the world is pretty screwed up excet for me and the rest of the baboons and somtimes i’m not so sure about the rest of you either.”
Great tim-ism. Or should that be “timism”?
Anyway in response to yesterday’s chorus of Whys about the shipping container… I take it the Why was a big entire Why and not just “why the paintjob”. So here goes, a la tim…
the house we’d rented had no garage but was on two acres so hub decided a decommissioned shipping container was the secure storage solution for motorcycles and workbench. when we bought a house with a smaller lot and plent of trees, only good place for the box was front yard fronting on main road through neighborhood at intersection with university feeder. Box was red brown and matched house but had dings rust spits and looked industrial so we thought we’d paint it. i said mondrian it why not, hub not the biggest fan of the style but had no better ideas so thats what we are doing. mining town needs better pubic art than smokestacks.
LikeLike
not outdoor enamel but industrial acrylic
LikeLike
Ah. That explains everything. I like it!
Thanks-
LikeLike
i lover the notion. i wanted … still do i guess ,to paint my motorcycle mondian. love the concept
LikeLike
That makes it clearer but I don’t think small towns are ready for pubic art
LikeLike
I like the notion of better pubic art, no matter where!
LikeLike
*snort*!
LikeLike
Extravagant guffaw!
LikeLike
I mistyped and was going to correct it but figured I liked it and if you all didn’t (which I doubted) I could always blame it on timspiration.
LikeLike
Left out the part where I wanted to exercise my God-given right to have something outlandish in the front yard. Presumably once the box gets old enough we’ll cut the top off, fill it with soil (I think Minnesotans say “dirt”?) and call it a planter.
LikeLike
Always room for a guitar!!! I was hopin’ somebody would. Krista?
LikeLike
tim i didn’t understand your question the first time around. If you get the guitar to me, I have plenty of room.
LikeLike
will do
LikeLike
I probably deliver the asked for compliment mostly. I think I used to fish for a compliment about my cooking. Not anymore – one nice thing about having lived with Husband for 30-odd years, if he isn’t coming up with them, I just ask – “hey, did you like that…(say) ratatouille I made?” And he isn’t shy about being honest with his answer. So I actually know whether to try it again…
The direct approach is so refreshing – it’s too bad so many people don’t feel they can do that. Kerri Miller has had a guest recently talking about how all our attention to self-esteem the last few decades is backfiring… If I can find the book I’ll add it.
Happy Friday, everyone!
LikeLike
We aren’t getting a very good message about being honest from a lot of politicans, business leaders and other public leaders who generally seem to think putting a spin on whatever they say that isn’t exactly honest is smart. Michelle Bachman seems to be a master at spinning things even though she makes some mistakes. I have heard that her real position on many issues is so anti-government that it wouldn’t even be acceptable to many in the Tea Party.
LikeLike
I’ll cave and deliver – the first few times. If asker requires repeated reassurances however, I have a handy glazed look.
I don’t regard “I’m so sorry (to hear that)” as apologies however. More commisseration/sympathy in my book.
LikeLike
I’m with you MNiS, I don’t view the commiserative “I’m sorry” as an apology either.
As to the begging for a compliment, it really depends on a lot of things how I respond. A very dear friend of mine always apologizes for whatever she’s serving, or the less than perfect circumstances, or whatever, and then proceeds to knock you off your feet with an exquisite meal or gift or something. That’s just her style. I really don’t think she can help herself. She’s always very generous and gracious, but she’s the kind of person that you know is evaluating everything in your home, from the meal you’re serving to how much dust or dog hair is visible. Again, it’s just her nature. I know she considers me hopeless in a lot of ways, and I continue to be amazed that she will jamb her poor feet into uncomfortable shoes to be stylish. We are a very good example of two very different people loving and appreciating each other while also aware that we’re polar opposites in many ways. We praise each other profusely, and mean it.
I know other people who seem so centered on themselves, that no matter what the circumstances, everything is about them. Conversations are a one way street, me listening to their stories, while they pay little or no attention to mine. They’re not likely to elicit much praise from me no matter how hard they try. And, I’m sorry, I don’t apologize for that.
LikeLike
my mom , whenever given a compliment always minimiozes it as in. oh nice blouse …i got it at marshalls for 2 dollars. good food. thanks it was leftovers. i told her the correct response is thank you
LikeLike
tim, I learned that lesson very directly from a high school classmate about a year after we had graduated. She had just returned from working in a kibbutz in Israel, and had invited me for dinner at her parents house to compare notes. During dinner she paid me a compliment, I don’t recall what about, but I shrugged it off, not having any idea of what else to do. She stopped me immediately and said, “the correct answer to a compliment is thank you.” “You do both yourself and the person who complimented you a disservice by trivializing it.” It’s a lesson that I have never forgotten.
LikeLike
bingo
LikeLike
Not really…I tend to say ‘Yeah…. that’s a bummer’.
LikeLike
Dale, this was a very nice blog today.
LikeLike
Oh, no, Clyde, not really. It’s just a little thing I threw together. Wish I had time to give each post more attention. Not a very nice blog at all, but it’s the most I could do with my limited resources, and you’re too, too kind to offer praise.
I’m sure there are many blogs that are much nicer, don’t you think?
LikeLike
No, no, no, no. This is the best. Really.
LikeLike
Oh, and I like your shoes.
LikeLike
Dale, see my response to tim above.
LikeLike
I am ever reminded of Garrison Keillors monologue about the aunt who made pies that convinced you you had died and gone to heaven, they were so good, who was always at the ready with the full list of what had gone wrong this time and how she just wasn’t even sure it was worth eating.
LikeLike
Well, one can always do better, especially with pie.
LikeLike
i like that you like his shoes
LikeLike
I LOVE that guys are talking about shoes.
LikeLike
thanks for ogdan…i am still enjoying the heck out of marquis.
i had heard of nash but was not familiar with him
LikeLike
OT- I tried to post this earlier but the filter at work keeps claiming that Trail Baboon is a banned porno site and that I can get fired for viewing it. The IT folks say it is a WordPress issue, but the alert is scary.
Oshyn Kalen of “The Where’s Eric Game” when the LGMS went to the Fair made a movie about the Great State GetTogether. It premieres this weekend as a benefit for the Southern Theatre.http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2011/08/19/film-finds-beauty-at-the-state-fair/
There’s a clip you can see-it’s not pornographic just pig-o-graphic
LikeLike
do you work at a republican haven. some of our bachmann discussion may seem pornographic t a right wing nazi
LikeLike