A late comment posted yesterday by Donna in response to Bubby Spamden’s first-week-of-school quandary runs the risk of going under-appreciated, so I thought I’d better bring it to the top of the queue for today.
If you recall, Bubby was trying to make sense of his Personal Finance class, as taught by Mr. Boozenporn.
Part of his confusion was fostered by Mr. Boozenporn’s odd focus on building good checkbook habits. Bubby (and everyone younger than him) is in the no-checkbook generation – a group Donna knows well in her day job as a first grade teacher.
She also knows a thing or two about story time:
Bubby should forget about paper altogether and exchange it for gold. And then he should take most of the gold and spin it into straw. And then he should buy goats. And then he should take what’s left and buy just enough yarn to knit one single goat sweater because now it’s winter. But he should leave the work undone because it’s BUBBY for God’s sakes! And on this cold December night Bubby’s barn will be visited by a pair of pixies and they will knit the most beautiful goat sweater the north woods has ever seen. The next morning a happy wandering stranger will yodel up to the barn and buy the sweater for DOUBLE Bubby’s asking price. And then Bubby will buy enough yarn for two goat sweaters, and again the pixies will knit them and they’ll be even more beautiful than the night before. And this scenario will continue night after night, and Bubby will buy more yarn and then more goats and then more yarn and then more goats and then more yarn and then more goats and more yarn and more goats until he realizes he’s forgotten to spend any money on feed and the goats have starved to death. OH NO – BUBBEEEEEEEEY!!!
The moral of this story, Baboons?
Trail Baboon 
A goat in the hand is worth two goats in the bush? A goat saved is a goat earned? A fool and his goat will soon be parted?
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NEVER feed yourself before you’ve fed the goats.
coffee is allowable, however
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
A goat will always provide great fodder for the next blog? Never underestimate the creativity of a teacher?
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If you don’t stay up late to read the blog, always read the comments the next morning!
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Gooxd morning to all,
The moral is that you must always, always, always remember to take care of your goats.
Thanks for putting up that comment by Donna, Dale. Very cleaver, Donna
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There is only one time-honored solution to the problem Bubby has, which is basically that he is incompetent, immature and (as Garrison often says) doesn’t have the sense that God gave geese. Young men like Bubby are doomed unless they are able to do the one thing that can save them: marry well. For reasons not even known to God, there are competent, compassionate, charming women eager to save a hopeless case like Bubby Spamden.
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Well, Steve, you are right, but some of us male types could learn to do a little better and even Bubby might grow up a little some day.
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Considering what a knucklehead Bubby is, he writes amazingly well.
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Bubby is sure to benefit from these helpful criticisms!
A couple more:
If you don’t recognize the gold standard when you have it, you don’t deserve it.
Gold dust, straw dust, and pixie dust impair thinking. Wear a mask in the barn! (Barb does)
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yeah, it’s a harlequin mask with sequins and rhinestones and one of those big nose/beaks like they wore during the plague times.
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Ha! One more intersection between my nerd worlds. I’m listening to a tape about the medieval world and just yesterday there was a section on these masks and why doctors in particular wore them during the plague. Love it when my worlds come together!
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So the Green Lantern one I saw in the barn is your hub’s?
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I think this sounds like a good morality tale where the goats and the pixies are the American Worker and Bubby is the Big Business CEO who forgets to take care of his workforce in favor of profits for himself. Eventually he will have worked his labor force to death, and there will be no more profits. Clearly he missed the goat standing on top of the bales with the big “Union” sign…(and the one behind her with the “Feed the Union” sign).
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That seems right, Anna. Also, we should watch out for all the polution Big Business is creating, the various kinds of dust Donna mentioned about, and we might need a mask like the one Barb wears in the barn for protection from the polution.
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try breathing in china
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The moral of the story is that everyone should learn to knit their own (or their goats’) sweaters.Those who are self-sufficient will go further in this world.
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OT: I’m sorry I missed yesterday’s discussion of money and funerals and species of Lutheran, but I have a pretty good excuse. Anyone see the news report about an abandoned church getting torched early Monday morning? That was 1/2 block from our duplex. The smoke blew straight from the burning building into our apartment (plus they cut the power, so no fans), making it impossible to sleep, so my roommate and I went down the block to watch from the corner until the worst was over. I’d never seen a house fire, so it was an impressive and slightly nerve-wracking sight, especially as the sparks drifted up the block toward our place. That building was a terrible eyesore, a long-abandoned foreclosure, and had been condemned for over a year. So, pretty much it was an arson case waiting to happen. Apparently some people think it was let to burn beyond recovery so the city can build an apartment building on the lot. We shall see. Fortunately, the two closest houses (one of which was probably foreclosed and is being renovated) and the walnut tree look undamaged; another tree started to burn but was saved. So, not such a good day yesterday but I’m back at work and considerably less sleep-deprived than yesterday morning!
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I’m stickin with my comment from last night
Moral (or immoral)-Donna needs to spend more time with Carlos!
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But who’s to say it’s not Carlos’ influence that’s making me almost as weird as tim is?? halaluhlah!
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Good report, CG. I’m glad the walnut tree survived. Can’t have too many of them.
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Glad nothing nearby was damaged (except your sleep patterns) – agree with Steve that it’s especially good that the walnut tree survived.
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Crow Girl, glad you’re O.K. There is something mesmerizing about big fires, especially at night; we’re attracted, fascinated and repulsed by them, all at the same time. I saw one when I was in college. Student housing caught on fire by a carelessly cooked Thanksgiving turkey. Apparently the turkey was the only thing salvaged from the blaze.
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ok crow girl the smoke blew in your windows n a 90 degree evening and the pwer was cut so there were no fans. the building must have insurance if your dont to cover the cost of having the place desmoked. (carpets and upholstery sweaters and coats creaned if the smoke is not too strong in which case the items all need to be replaced. with this money you can buy gold and straw and have the pixies stop by and got you going… the mora to the story is what the pixies put together is to be honored. trust pixies everytime. where there is a will there is a way. as long as you keep trying something you have a chance to cash in on the gold sweater opportunities out there. if you whine and piss and moan you will never be challanged with the problems sweater marketing can bring but you will never know the glories. now if bubby had hired a project manager and been a job creater he could run for the gop ticket to be president of the united states. god i love this country. bubby spamden for president
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Well, I always did have a fondness for goats…
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Perhaps I am missing something here, but where are the goats actually coming into the production end of things. I see Bubby buying some gold to spin into straw (which I can only guess is put to good use by the goats), but the rest of the gold gets turned into yarn, which is then turned in to sweaters by the ever obliging pixies.
I can see the goats perhaps modelling the sweaters, but really, it only takes a couple of models to sell the inventory, so why does Bubby keep buying more goats instead of more gold and yarn (to turn into straw and sweaters)?
Now–if these were ANGORA goats……
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you’ve seen the news about goats’ milk spun into silk, right? i think someone told me about it on this blog (since i never read the “news.”
‘bye, Jim – have a good vacation and travel safely
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are you referring to the milk protein yarns, or the GM goat milk that has some spider DNA involved in some way that would make Dr. Larry Kyle proud? I feel like National Geographic had something about that not too long ago.
Safe travels, Jim!
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Yes, yes, yes – madislandgirl. I was wondering how long it would take before someone would say this story makes no sense. But in Bubby’s world, I believe it does. His gold is gone, he’s sniffin dust like nobody’s business, and he can’t break the habit of buying a new goat for every sweater he sells. It’s a vicious kinky cycle.
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I’m getting ready for a vacation and will not take my computer. I’ll be back early next week . i hope you all have lots of fun on the trail while I’m gone
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Have a GREAT time!
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where are you off to this time?
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Happy trails off the trail, Jim.
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I’m going to New Orleans.
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I’m so jealous. Please have a beignet and a cup of coffee at Cafe Du Monde for me.
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Thanks for all the good wishes for my vacation. I will have to try a beignet at the Cafe du Monde, PJ
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Have fun in N.O. If there’s a computer in the hotel lobby you could say “hey.”
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Or you could say “yea” or “nay”.
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Well, the whole thing sounds like a pixie scheme to me. But no one has had the courage to stand up and say it. The system is broken. I was going to say this last night when I originally read the fable, but I was too mesmerized by the awesome moon. And I mean awesome in the sense of inspiring awe, not like, “dude, that’s awesome.”
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I thought I was practicing good Babooniquette by keeping my mouth shut. Didn’t want to offend anyone. A little like The Emperor’s New Clothes, no?
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But, the emperor has no goat sweater!
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Merely a technicality!
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I’m not very good at morals (oops, that doesn’t sound right, for some reason) but I’m enjoying reading these.
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O.K. Edith, let’s have it. What kind of woman are you? 🙂
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If you are not good at morals, you will fit in very well here with all the liberals.
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Great!
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Ah, laughing quietly out loud (snickering, I suppose) – this is just what I needed tonight. Nothing creative to add, just thanks, Babooners. Safe journey, Jim!
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