Off-Year Game

Here, as usual, is a special Election Day message from the lone US Congressman whose district has been drawn to include ONLY the water surface area in his state – Minnesota’s Loomis Beechly.

Greetings Constituents,

Today is Off-Year Election Day, so I’m urging everyone who is having an off year to get out there and vote. If you do that, we should have a 100% turn out!

Yes, not just 99%. Because even the super-rich are having a rough time of it. Not moneywise of course. Their greatest problems are reputational. Most people don’t think highly of the rich to begin with. Common folks believe they would do a much better job of being rich than the rich folks do – a better job in that they’d be more approachable, more sensible and more charitable.

Congressman Beechly reaches out to floaters in his district

Don’t be so sure.

As a Congressman representing all the water surface area in Minnesota, I have regular dealings with rich people about the licensing of their mega-yachts and pleasure craft. Mostly they tell me that our boat registration costs are too, too high. And it’s not just about saving a few dollars. I’ve discovered that a lot of the money going to pay for those expensive boat licenses could be spent on political campaigns instead. That’s a wise re-allocation of resources, so I’m definitely looking into that, but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not being bought to enable some tycoon’s self-indulgence. The super-rich are no more selfish than you are. However, they are more successful at it.

What can I say? They’re achievers.

Anyway, all this talk is confusing and stressful. Why not take out your frustration by voting on something? You could put a mayor or a city councilor or a school board member out of work. Or, you could help them keep their jobs. Or you could give someone else a NEW job. It’s all about making a difference. Sometimes you just have to stand up and say “I matter! Even if I don’t know what I’m doing!”

So go to the polls and cast your random, uninformed vote today. This is a great year to do it, because I’m not running for anything and the next twelve months will be full of crazy messages that are blurted out by candidates who are under the influence of think tanks, PACS, Super-PACS and six-packs. Think of it – for a full year, everything that’s said in every form of media will be intended to influence one or more segments of the voting public. Will it be aimed at you? Don’t you want to be wooed? Who doesn’t! If you can’t be rich, you should vote, at least.

Become a voter– today is your last chance to get an oar in the water before the year of seduction begins. Why endure such a long conversation that isn’t about you?

Respectfully,

Congressman Loomis Beechly

As usual, the Congressman makes a weird kind of sense. So consider voting today.

What kind of rich person would you be?

66 thoughts on “Off-Year Game”

  1. a gracious good morning to You All. thanks Dale, for the visit with the Congressman – always fun. we will vote after milking is finished – just on a school referendum for the Barnum school district. and then breakfast at Lou’s in Barnum.
    don’t think i’d make a very good rich person and i don’t really want to find out. i admire those who can do it well and i’m sad for those who don’t.

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      1. ha! tim, i am not at risk of getting rich on selling goats’ milk soap – i don’t have a long enough attention span to keep at it (and anyway – i’m retired)
        back from voting now and a good breakfast at Lou’s on mainstreet in Barnum. news flash – the lutefisk meals are sold out – except for two places on wednesday Dec. 6. couldn’t talk Steve into it.

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      2. every year, I think to myself that I should take the s&h to the lutefisk dinner at the Lutheran church down the street from our Lutheran church.

        every year, I fail epically at this cultural indoctrination.

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  2. Rise and Count your Cash Baboons!

    I’d make a pretty indifferent rich person. During the course of my lifetime, I’ve never been that motivated by money, as long as I have enough to meet my own needs and those of my family. No one who becomes a Social Worker is very into money–Social Workers are all a bit math-phobic and concerned with the basic needs of others.

    Sorry Rep. Beechly. I’m just not your kind of girl.

    PS, compared to the other 95% of the world, I think I AM rich.

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  3. i’ve spent some time among the super-wealthy, including one spectacular drunken evening with Sally Irvine (she who “stamped her foot” and built the Ordway Theater). that was one of the saddest evenings of my life, and i know i wouldn’t want to be THAT kind of rich person.

    it might be fun to be a rich person in the mode of Amelie, someone who interferes gently and secretly in the lives of selected others, trying to make it possible for others to live more fully.

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    1. I like the sound of using wealth to “interfere gently & secretly” to help folks, Steve. I hate the spotlight & people fussing over good deeds (we should ALL be pulling off good deeds to the point of being boring & commonplace)… so this approach would appeal to me!

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  4. Good morning to all,

    How much money are we talking about?. Would it be enough so that I could buy a politican or two? May be I could use my money to cancel out some of the money that the Koch Brothers and others like them are using to people like Michele Bachmann elected.

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  5. If I were rich, I probably wouldn’t be that way for long – I’d likely squander my money on art and imported chocolate (and at least one really cool vintage car). Sure I’d take a chunk and set up some sort of foundation so I could share my money with libraries and schools and programs that help kids and arts organizations and all those things near and dear to my heart that never have enough money, but what didn’t got there would probably sift through my fingers pretty quickly and then I’d have a pile of art and an extra car to try to fit into my little S Mpls home and I’d go back to being me. Which is fine, ‘cuz I don’t think I have the wardrobe sense to really look the part.

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    1. Not to worry — you can pay someone to help you with your wardrobe. I would surely need to pay an interior decorator to make my house look nice — I have no idea what to do with furniture, pictures, vases, candles, etc. And the thought of choosing a paint color is just overwhelming.

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      1. I can help with paint color if you need – from a fistful of color swatches to a decision on a new paint color for our upstairs hallway took under 30 minutes (though I am going to get one of those little tester pots of paint to make sure I like the color). Now actually doing the prep work to paint, that’s a much longer process.

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  6. It would be nice to have enough money to be free of worrying about having enough money. How much would that be? You would think that some people have all the money they need and still there are people who seem to never have enough even if they are super rich. Perhaps a few million dollars would be enough. Then I could do whatever I would like to do without money being the limiting factor. Probably the only fair thing to do would be to divide the world’s resources equally among all the people in the world so that no one would have more than their fair share. I think that is the only way I would be completely comfortable with having enough money to stop worrying about money.

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    1. thats the trick jim to have enough to stop thinking about it. wall streets program was that the more they got the more they figured out how to screw the mases out of it and line their own pockets. like anna i would love to be the philanthropist but i would do it secretly so i would not have the walls closing in with new best friends. i have hung with rich guys and the yes man problem is the one that makes me sick the little twerps that go along and say his yes to his every suggestion. the person it makes you is up to you and i may get a bit obnoxious but i know my family and friends would keep me in check humility is not lost on those who would like to remind you of all the reasons you have to be humble and i do have those in excess in my life so as to the question would i be ok

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  7. It seems to me that people who have money and people who don’t have money worry about money all the time. I think the trick is somehow figuring out how to live within your means. That is a hard thing to do. If I were a really rich person I would try to fix the housing crunch in our community so that there was sufficient and decent housing and the greedy landlords here couldn’t price gouge.

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    1. I think Steve mentioned some friends of his who decided to live on as little as possible so that they would not be using up any resources that other need. I might not have that story right. That is what I remember. That seems to me to be a good way to live. However, I am not ready to do that.

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  8. Greetings! I think I would make a wonderful rich, wealthy person. Although, I might end up like Anna — do all kinds of good deeds, give money to my family, set up a foundation, buy myself and my kids cool stuff, go on an actual vacation, buy a nice house, etc. Then once I’ve blown most of it, settle back and return to being an ordinary person without much money — but have lots of cool stuff and have everything paid off — but still travel occasionally. Have enough money to buy tickets to concerts, plays and other events that I never get to attend. Have nice new cars that don’t always need repair. Have an actual savings account and maybe even a retirement account. Just normal stuff …

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  9. Assuming we’re talking about really I’m afraid I’d be the kind of rich person who first does a moderate addition to the house, then makes sure my family and friends are comfortable… then I’d like to be like Michael Anthony of The Millionaire, (remember?) only with groups of people – give tons of money various entities and see what they’d do with it.

    Love this, Dale, but I’m afraid it’s true: “the next twelve months will be full of crazy messages that are blurted out by candidates who are under the influence of think tanks, PACS, Super-PACS and six-packs.”

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  10. It’s so unlikely that I would become rich that I haven’t really thought about what kind of rich person I’d be. I’d like to think I’d be one of those quiet rich people who donate money anonymously and don’t need to have their names plastered all over buildings or programme books or PBS shows. One of the things I’d love to be able to do is custom-build an amazingly energy efficient home on enough land to have a big vegetable garden, and another is to be able to afford to take all the classes I want at places like the North House Folk School, Center for Book Arts, etc. In reality I’d probably fritter too much of my money away on little things like books and DVDs or something like that 😦 . My roommate would spend all of her wealth on travel, which is much better than spending it on buying companies and firing most of the workers. But I’m with Jim–I don’t have to be rich, but I wish no one was poor.

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  11. I would be the reclusive type. (don’t fuss, once a year, I would invite you all up to the lodge on the Island for a Baboon Congress)

    I’m sure I have said it here before, but I’ll tell it again. The s&h and I periodically mentally spend our way through $1M. Try it, it helps you prioritize, and if you do what we do, which is give 25% and sock away 25%, you only have $500,000 left, and that can go pretty fast at today’s prices.

    I’ve also figured out what exact amount would ease my mind and give me the breathing space I long for. Just for fun, I’ve also priced out “comfortable”.

    I like knowing these things, otherwise, you get caught up in a billion here, a billion there, and before you know it, you are talking real money…..

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  12. Morning all… just barely. I’ve been tied to my Ukraining egg table the last couple of days.

    I actually once put pen to paper with details of all the different organizations that I would give money to if I ever won the lottery. Unfortunately, it has been pointed out to me repeatedly that if I never buy a lottery ticket, I can’t ever win the lottery. Details, details.

    I hope that I am like Anna and CG – go a little wild at first w/ fixing up the house and traveling and then settling into my armchair and giving most of it away. Raymond Burr said once that if he died rich, that would be the great tragedy of all. I hope I would be able to live like that if I had serious money.

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  13. with apologies if this has already been posted here, but this just landed in my mailbox regarding the Tom Keith Tribute on Saturday:

    http://minnesota.publicradio.org/events/2011/11/hurrah-for-tom-keith-event.shtml

    looks like we stand in line until 4 (anyone with ideas as to when would be good to get in line-I never do this), get our tickets, then find someplace cozy to hang out until show time.

    Overflow is at Central Pres., which is where we saw the last Morning Show. That was nice, but I really would like to be “in person” this time.

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  14. OT – related to yesterday.

    tim – sorry I can’t make the board game night this month. My other bookclub always meets the second Thursday of the month.

    Saturday night. Anybody else from SW Mpls going over to the Fitz who wnats to carpool? I agree w/ tim — I think 2:30 to 3 p.m. for a 4 p.m. door opening is probably good.

    I’m making some badges for us baboons. Who all is planning on attending?

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    1. I will be there with the s&h in tow. I’m thinking there is a Thai restaurant in the area that we might hit before line standing, so we could be there early, but I suspect place holding would be severely frowned upon (but will gladly do it if it does not break the Baboon Code of Good Conduct).

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      1. Someone else will have to sit in my seat at the tribute and make my moves at board game night. Saturday is closing night of the high school production of “Joseph and the Amazing Tecnicolor Dreamcoat.” I volunteered to be the house manager so all the parents with kids in the show can watch the final glorious performance. It is also the last night of the coat drive I am coordinating at every performance to make sure that Joseph’s Coat has coats and mittens for folks in need.

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    2. vs, I hope to be there. I’m having car trouble, so I’m iffy, but I’ll try to be there, but my arrangements will have to be flexible.

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    3. I am planning on at least an attempt, but may not be able to be there early enough for lots of standing in line (so might wind up in the cheap seats at the church).

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  15. WOT, but it has been an exciting day in our town. A pheasant tried to perch on a power line, which had the effect of shutting down 5 substations so we had no electricity, phones, or traffic lights in most of the town, and then the pheasant, which was on fire by this time, fell on the ground and started a grass fire.

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    1. Thanks for sharing, Renee. I was feeling a bit blue today; then I read your post and for some reason it struck me as hilariously funny. And then PJ’s comment pretty much sealed the deal! I hope your town recovers quickly while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes. I truly don’t want to laugh at your misfortunes, but sometimes … it’s just such a bizarre turn of events …

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      1. I agree, Joanne, you can’t make this stuff up. It the sort of thing that Garrison could weave into his monologue about the news from Lake Wobegon.

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      2. Happy I could be of help, Joanne. I was just surprised that a pheasant could fly as high as a power line. My initial guess was that it was a squirrel in a transformer.

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  16. Afternoon–
    When I first sold the milk cows and got the college job my Dad kept asking me if I had more money. He was kind of joking but it was hard for me to answer; It was sort of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and besides, money isn’t everything.

    Yesterday my 19 yr old son asked if he would be able to upgrade phones soon. Then he said he doesn’t want a smart phone but only a flip phone that he can text on. Hmmm… is that the first step in moving to a shack in the woods and writing manifestos??

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  17. I don’t have enough imagination to envision what being rich really means. I get stuck thinking about the prospect of a houseful of servants doing all the chores. I do know there isn’t enough wealth on the planet to ever have me consider having my shoe laces ironed every day!

    I think being rich is a state of mind. Living well, and within our means, I feel pretty content the way things are. I’m with Jacque, compared to most people on earth, I too am rich.

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  18. If I were a rich person, I would probably be a crabby, reclusive type of rich person. Or maybe I would become a better person because I wouldn’t have to worry about money and I could do some things that lack of money is holding me back from doing now, which would make me happy, fulfilled, and cheerful instead of a grump. I can’t decide which of these two I would be if I were rich.

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  19. OT – Just returned from a brief stop at Dave Thune’s election night headquarters (his gallery). The election results so far look good for his bid for re-election, but with the ranked vote in play, it may be a week before it’s all sorted out.

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    1. According to the county’s web site, Thune got 38.13% of the first place votes – not a majority, so it goes into manual counting, which will take “no longer than two weeks”.

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      1. Dave’s campaign counts are better than that, but still not a majority. We’ll see. I just love the wacky folks who are his supporters, a unique and colorful group of free spirits.

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  20. It’s tempting to imagine that being rich would make me a different kind of person, but it probably wouldn’t. I’m someone who is basically motivated by self-interest, but feels guilty enough to try to make up for it by doing volunteer work and donating money. Having more money would just produce a higher level of guilt resulting in larger donations – a difference in scale, but not a fundamental personality change.

    Didn’t vote today. I cast my random, uninformed vote by absentee ballot in early October, because I worked the election in a precinct that is not my home. Voting absentee is, by the way, an excellent way to deflect phone calls from political campaigns in the final days before an election. They won’t waste any time on you if you’ve already voted.

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    1. Living in Minneapolis, I feel a little ripped off – no democratic process for me this year. Boo. (And I think this may be the first year – or certainly one of the only ones – in my years of voting when there was an election and I was in a election-less precinct/district.)

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    2. Linda, I don’t think money really changes people anymore than I think being diagnosed with a terminal disease does. In fact my theory is that when either of those things happen to you, you exhibit more of the behaviors that you might have repressed before. If you’re basically a generous and kind person, you’ll become more so. If you’re hateful and mean-spirited, that too will become more obvious. That’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it.

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  21. WOT – Don’t’ know how many baboons live in the vicinity, but here’s a free event tomorrow night that might be of interest:

    Event Type: Arts/Entertainment
    Date: 11/9/2011
    Start Time: 6:30 PM
    End Time: 7:30 PM
    Join us for an evening of drama and mystery on the radio—a powerful and dramatic old-time radio show presented by the Prime Time Players.

    The Prime Time Players, a group of dedicated professional local actors, use original and classic scripts, sound effects, music and their well-trained voices and acting skills to create classic radio shows just like those from the golden age of radio many of you remember so well.

    The program will include audience participation, music from the 30’S and 40’S, old-time radio commercials and several short radio programs, including The Shadow, Sherlock Holmes and more.

    Here is the address:
    2245 Como Avenue
    Saint Paul 55108
    See map: Google Maps
    Tel. 651-642-0411

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