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H.B., G.L.

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It’s Gordon Lightfoot’s birthday today. He’s 73.

I enjoy “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” as much as anyone can relish the re-telling of a terribly tragic event happening to other unfortunate people, but I think my favorite Lightfoot song is this one.

He refers to “an old time movie ’bout a ghost from a wishing well” as if that’s a standard film genre that everyone has seen to the point of fatigue. But I can’t think of a single movie with a ghost that comes out of a wishing well. Not one. Can you?

Speaking of the point of fatigue, I sometimes wonder what it’s like for musicians to perform their hits over and over and OVER AGAIN. Here’s Lightfoot doing the same song 27 years later, a few weeks after suffering a transient stroke that temporarily diminished his ability to play. And his voice has clearly lost its richness, but the song still has power.

This later, weaker version may be better in that it’s easier to picture Lightfoot as a ghost with that thin frame and quavery voice. This Lightfoot would easily fit through the opening of a wishing well, but could he climb out?

“If you could read my mind, love, what a tale my thoughts would tell” is a great opening line that leads to all that poetic talk about movie scripts rattling around his brain and book plots in hers, but how can he say “I don’t know where we went wrong …”? I do! You’re both trying to have a long term relationship with a mind reader!

And there’s no way that can work. Can it?

59 thoughts on “H.B., G.L.”

  1. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    If a relationship in which people could read minds could work, there are a few relationships in my life which would have worked much better. I think of my first serious boyfriend in particular. Had I been able to read his mind I would have been outta there much more quickly, thus saving myself a world of heartbreak. And there are some that would have been even more disastrous–the person really did not want to know what I was thinking!

    As I get older, which is happening rather too rapidly of late, I realize more and more how our perceptions of others are truly filtered by our own preconceptions and experiences. Sometimes I am amazed any of us can communicate at all. And that is with the words.

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  2. Morning all! There is actually an old Abbott & Costello movie (Time of Their Lives) – where the ghosts come from the well. I don’t remember a whole lot about the movie but I do remember that the bodies get thrown down the well during the Revolutionary War and are somehow “stuck” so they can’t go to heaven.

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  3. I’m not sure I can picture a hell worse than having a mind that people could “read” with perfect ease no matter what I want to communicate. The essence of managing a relationship is knowing what and how to share of all the thoughts and feelings we have toward someone. If our every thought and emotion was on display, a good relationship would not be possible, no matter how highly we regard that person.

    The other day my next door neighbor (the Lawn Nazi) did me a huge favor. But he once did something that I deeply regret, something that caused me great distress. It would hurt him immeasurably if he could read my mind and see how I was affected by what he did. But he can’t, read my mind, and so our relationship is solid.

    I can’t imagine the horror of dating someone if my every thought was accessible to her! If I were to look at her with a mysterious smile, I would much prefer that she speculate about what was in my mind. Let her think I’m about to say something really romantic, not that I was trying to figure out how to tactfully suggest that she needs a breath mint!

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  4. Good morning to all. It would be nice if people would be straight forward and honest and just tell us what we need to know. However, I don’t want to know everything and don’t want to let everyone know all that I am thinking. There are times when it is best to keep quiet.

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  5. I know for sure I wouldn’t want someone to read my mind. My father was very very smart and he could often figure out what was going on in your mind just by knowing you well and following the train of thought/conversation out to it’s logical conclusion. Unfortunately when arguing with me, he would often proceed to tell me what I thought. Whether he was correct or not, it was unbelievably infuriating.

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  6. Knowing when to keep quiet and not let people know what you are thinking can be more important that knowing when to tell people what you are thinking. I think I get in more trouble from saying too much than I do from saying too little. And by the way…….. Oops, better not say that!

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    1. Totally agree – if Husband knew all of the crabby thoughts I have had over the last ___ years, well…ours would not be the (mostly) harmonious relationship that it is. By the same token, I’d rather not know everything he thinks about me either – I’d much rather live in ignorance and the misguided notion that I am perfect in his eyes in every way (I am, aren’t I? I’m not? Oh dang…)

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    1. I don’t know about your situation, John P., but in my case even if someone knows what I am thinking I am probably better off if I don’t say it out loud when I know it will not be well received.

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    2. my wife tells me what i am thinking and i tell her no i hadn’t been thinking about that but i meant to. and then i can get on with it. cloud seeding for rain, brain seeding for results

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    3. My wife sort of thinks I read her mind. I read her body language and vocal tone. EVEYHTHING my wife says is in her voice and gesture and not in her words.

      Because my daughter is so much my child, we read each other’s minds.

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  8. if you could read my mind we would have a different relationship altogether. i have a sister with the inability to keep what is in her mind in there. she blurts out or screams out terrible hurtful things and makes sure the stuff in her mind is spelled out loud and clear. most other people have filters that keep them from saying things that are impossible to forget and forgive. thats a good thing, breath mints i can handle, other stuff maybe not so much. its a shame about my sister she found a guy who puts up with her flaw but their lives are so volitile it is hard to be in the same hemisphere with them for any amount of time. she has had friends that enter for a while but all leave when they discover they dont have any interest in hearing about what is on her mind. watch out what you wish for gordon if you could read my mind id be a lot less comfortable sitting across the table from you. just like an old time movie where the guy you thought was ok turns out to be just another schmuck.

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  10. I enjoy watching the dismay of small children who just can’t understand how their parents and the adults in their lives always seem to know what has really been going on. I like telling them that adults have eyes in the back of their heads, and the younger children often half believe it. I find it tiring to be around secretive people who expect you to figure out what is going one with them.

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  11. I love that song, thanks, Dale.
    Husband told me very early on in the relationship that if I wanted him to know something, I’d better tell him outright because he really can’t read my mind. I still sometimes find myself being miffed because he didn’t understand something, and then I remember, “Oh, I assumed he knew that.” He now admits to sometimes thinking he’s said something out loud and then realizes, “No, that was internal.” Hmmm, there really is a lot to this topic.

    Dave Barry has a very funny bit about sitting on an airplane next to a woman who has no filter and of course talks for the entire flight – it had me howling and reminds me of a relative or two.

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  12. By nature, I’m a private person, so I don’t spill a lot of personal information to casual acquaintances. It also makes me loath to pry into other people’s business. Husband on the other hand will tell people stuff that amazes me, and has no qualms about asking questions that make me cringe. Some people may interpret my not asking more questions as a lack of interest, whereas my thinking is really that they’ll tell me if they want me to know.

    For me it’s not a matter of being secretive, and I think that people who know me well know that. Deliberately keeping important information from someone is something completely different. That creates an imbalance in the relationship, an imbalance that most of us pick up on eventually. Those are the kinds of relationships I have no interest in being in.

    Can I read husband’s mind and he mine? Not really, but I think we know each other well enough that most of the time we can figure out what’s going on, even if it isn’t said. But, neither of us enjoy the “what’s wrong? oh, nothing.” game, so when in doubt, we check it out.

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  13. Greetings! At first glance, being able to read minds would simplify things — but as most folks have mentioned before me; it seems to create more problems! Jim is actually fairly intuitive — far more than I am. I’ll be thinking about something very clearly in my mind; and Jim will turn to me and say, “What?” — like he couldn’t quite hear what I said — when I didn’t say anything. It’s rather unnerving at times.

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  14. I wore out two tape copies of Gord’s Gold driving around the Midwest in the 90’s. I now have the CD. It’s good driving music. But I came to the conclusion that it is not the dexterity and creativity of his music that appeals, or his vocal range (in scale or tone), OR the poetry of his lyrics. Lots of his lyrics are only on the edge of sense and clarity. But he evokes some sort of visceral emotional response by the combination of the three that lie just below conscious thought as a sort of vague emotion yet to be named.That’s why I like him for driving. You just sort of listen without listening.

    He’s 73. And how did the youth of my youth get old?

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    2. My husband also LOVES Gordon Lightfoot and plays the same favorite songs over and over again in the car. Clyde’s explanation of why he is attracted to GL for driving seems to make sense. Although there are many things — movies, music, etc., that Jim enjoys endlessly. Typically, they’re semi-sad, romantic themes that make him cry. Even if they are good, I can’t watch movies more than a few times, and that’s it. I have better things to do. I guess Jim is one of those “sensitive, New Age guys.”

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    3. there was a special on one of the mpr or sirus radio shows I think it was sirus ) that did an interview with gordon lightfoot. and it was very enightening. i must have a cnsistant brain that never thinks about celebrities in any depth but when i see a radio personality like dale and jim ed or back int he old days boone and erickson on cco they never look like i had them pictured at all. lord knows what i had them pictured as but very different. had a different presence in my brain, wel gordon lightfoot was just htis nice guy woho got to sing because he had a pleaseant voice. he wrote a couple songs and was launched into canadian superstardom in about a minute and a half. he didn’t sound like he understood it very well so when it slowed sdown to a mild raor he was a little more comfortable. nice guy who sings good and writes good songs and had a couple of andy warhols 15 minutes of greatness but he had the good fortune to have a record label and a recorder next to him when he had his momnets. i remember an illustrator of thebeatles in time magazine did an expected portrait of the beatles at age 64. he did this way back when and we all laughed at the funy pictures of paul with jowels. well here we are and look at paul. it is pretty close ill bet. like to see the picture again today.

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  15. Husband wears his heart on his sleeve, so even if I don’t know what his internal dialogue is, I have learned when to ask about it and when to let him stew. He is pretty good, too, at knowing when I’d really appreciate having a little extra time to myself or when a little extra something will ease the day (like last night when he brought home a fire log for the fireplace knowing that I was feeling cranky and that warm, cozy time on the couch would be a balm). Daughter, on the other hand, is pretty convinced that I’m psychic (and has been known to turn my words back on me and tell me, “Mama – it’s your day to be psychic, didn’t you know?”).

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  17. This subject feels somewhat personal for me and for some reason I’m a little hesitant about revealing what’s going on inside me, but I’ll try. I’m very perceptive – intuitive perceptive – a little like Joanne describes her husband and VS describes her father. When I was younger I used to tell people immediately what I believed was going on inside them. They didn’t like it – don’t like it. As tim said, they aren’t comfortable sitting across the table from me.

    I also appreciate direct honesty. I really want people to be honest with me about things, even if I might not like it. I can sense immediately when someone is hiding something from me and it feels awful. Because I want that straightforwardness, I tend to be direct with others about how I’m feeling. That hasn’t worked either. People really prefer feelings to remain hidden.

    Maybe someday I’ll find someone who likes women who are a combination of perceptiveness and direct communication, but my perception tells me that I won’t. I’m feeling awkward and uncomfortable about revealing all of this here. I’m glad that Baboons are kind and tolerant folk.

    OT : Happy belated birthday to Holly in Northfield!

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    1. It doesn’t seem impossible that you could find someone who likes a woman who communicates directly and is perceptive…aren’t good relationships supposedly built on good communication?

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  18. Morning–
    (I can’t belive it’s still morning… this day is really dragging.)

    Speaking of artists performing the same song for years and years, remember Neil and Leandra’s modified version of ‘Old Love’? That was fun. Can’t find it on youtube…

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  19. OT – Here is the link to my friend’s website – the one who makes truffles. Be sure to click on “Forest Collection” and read the story of what inspired her new flavors.When I visited her this fall, we spent some time tossing ideas around for her northwoods-inspired flavors so I feel happy to see that some of those ideas are now being made into something good to eat.

    http://www.sweetlifechocolates.com

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    2. Edith, those chocolates look very interesting, even to someone like me who is not into chocolate. Dark chocolate chili truffles paired with tequila ice cream sounds like something I’d want to try. Your friend’s stay in northern Minnesota sounds wonderful. Did you grow up together?

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      1. She’s a friend from late high school and immediately post-high school – many, many moons ago. We’ve lost touch and gotten in touch a few times over the years. Hopefully, we don’t lose touch again.

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    3. Oh-oh, it looks like her website is a little messed up – it seems to have reverted at least in part to last year’s offerings. I’ll re-post this link in a few days when it gets straightened out.

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  20. I’m thinking that a relationship with a mind reader can work – as long as the mind reader doesn’t tell the other person what he/she is thinking or feeling, because not only is that infuriating to the other person, but it is possible that the mind reader might be wrong, or not quite right. If you use the perceptiveness to better understand the other person, listen to him/her, and love him/her (either because of what you know about them or in spite of it), then I think it could work.

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  21. I wish there we could learn to read the minds of people who have lost the capacity to speak – stroke victims, someone in a coma. It would make much easier the decisions that families have to make around these issues.

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