You Asked For It

There were plenty of amusing comments yesterday about Bart the Bear and his indignation over the possible authorization of bear hunting in New Jersey, of all places.
But there was one irresistible string of imaginative pondering that made me wonder … what if?

That’s just too good an idea to pass up. You asked for it.

If you were going to appear on the cover of a magazine, which magazine would it be?

84 thoughts on “You Asked For It”

  1. Dale, you are a master!!! you are a photoshopper par excellence.
    i would be most likely to appear on the cover of the Gopher Goat Gossip – but only if i were holding a goat. and the goat blocked most of me out of the picture.

    Like

      1. Now THERE is an inspiring thought. You know, for years people have proposed Studly Geek calendars. The problem is they could only find 1 or 2 good looking Geeks (and one of those is my own son!) So it never became a reality. Bill Gates would have to be the cover Geek and then it would not sell.

        Like

  2. Good morning to all. I could be on the cover CQ, short for Clod Q. Then, if I become a famous clod, due to being featured on the cover of CQ, I would appear with Alfred E. Neuman on a cover of Mad Magazine which would make fun of my appearance on CQ.

    Like

  3. Husband says he wants to be on the cover of the New York Review of Books, but that means he would have to write something other than psychological evaluations. I would love to be so glamorous as to be on the cover of Vogue, but all I could qualify for is the lab coat issue of Journal of Experimental Psychology, clipboard and rat in hand.

    Like

    1. I have to agree with your husband, I can only wish I would write something so good I would land on the cover of the New York Times Book Review. I would even give up my utter aversion to being photographed for that one.

      Like

      1. Hi, yes, Polly was put to sleep at home on the afternoon of the 18th. Minnesota Pets, whom my vet recommended, were great and took very good care of her. It was a hard choice to make, of course, but it was the only thing to do. I dreamed about her a few nights ago; when I tried to pet her in the dream she stalked off under my bed in a huff. So very typical! Twyla, my younger cat, is rather at a loss and very bored now she doesn’t have the Dowager Empress to try to get a rise out of; the roommate’s cats aren’t quite sure whether they want to play.

        Like

      2. Sorry, I meant to say thanks for the thoughts. I’m also sorry I missed the Blevin’s Book Club, but for obvious reasons I wasn’t in the mood that day. I hope to make the next one!

        Like

    1. Crow Girl, sorry you had to put down the Dowager Empress. Glad you were able to do it without the additional trauma of having to transport her.

      Like

      1. Yes, it was published by the same university that published the Journal of Cynical and Insulting Psychology. I heard that the editor of the American Nut Journal just went off the deep end.

        Like

  4. Ladies Home Clutterer, SW Mpls Review of Grade School Art, Crazy School Volunteer Weekly…aspirationally, I wouldn’t mind McSweeney’s. Heck, even an inside page in McSweeney’s would be grand, never mind the cover.

    Like

      1. McSweeney’s, good call. I got part of a page in Asimov’s once, which was really thrilling (especially considering they kept my poem for a couple of years before publishing it). Asimov’s doesn’t do photos, but I’d love to have my name with the other featured authors on the cover someday!

        Like

      1. You almost made milk come out of my nose… you’re all funny tonight. And I love the lisping content. (I hope that’s not offensive to anyone!?)

        Like

  5. Dale, you have outdone yourself with this one!

    I think my hiking boots could be on the front cover of Backpacker Magazine. I’d only agree to being on the cover of a magazine if I could wear waders or a huge parka, but my boots would look pretty good!

    Thorry to hear about your grandkidth, Thteve. I hope they make it thafely and that everyone ith healthy and happy.

    Like

  6. OT: Hi folks. I’m sorry to have to report that Molly and Liam will not be coming today. Molly is just too ill to manage the trip while managing Liam, and if Liam got this cold it would be very difficult for everyone to have fun. Because she has a busy work schedule, the first time she can come now is February 15-20. I think all of you who loaned us toys do not need them back before the new visit time; if I’m wrong, please tell me.

    This is the news I expected to get today. I could tell yesterday that it wasn’t going to work out.

    Thanks to everyone who has taken an interest in this visit. It seems strange in a way that so many people are aware of a simple little family get-together, but there was a lot of emotion riding on this trip. We’ll enjoy each other all the more in a few weeks.

    Like

    1. Oh bummer, Steve. I know you were really looking forward to the visit. We do not need the toys back anytime soon (if at all – heck, keep ’em until Liam outgrows them and then pass them along again if they’re not destroyed).

      Like

    2. That’s right, Steve, about the toys. Sorry you have to wait… hope she was able to get some refund on the plane tickets?

      Like

  7. Greetings! Bart is looking buff and brawny on that mag cover — way to go! I dare somebody to make a photo of Bart in his tailored pearl gray silk Armani suit, size 78XL.

    I would love to be on the cover on Martial Arts Weapons Madness in full uniform (which covers a multitude of sins) and be able to play with all the different weapons and have them beautifully displayed in my home (maybe someday). Otherwise, Linda’s “Inferior Homes & Gardens” and “Substandard Housekeeping” would be the most likely covers where I’d be featured.

    Like

  8. Does it have to be me? I’d much rather it be my work.

    If I could have a costume on the cover of Opera News or a quilt on the cover of Quilters Newsletter Magazine, I would really feel I had accomplished something.

    Like

    1. Oh, that reminds me; OT–
      2012 Minnesota Quilters Annual Show and Conference here in Rochester in June. I’m part of related events that I can’t talk about yet. Non-sewing events…

      Any Baboons planning on attending?

      Like

      1. I’d like to go to that. I’m into textiles. I will probably need to be reminded, though, when it gets closer.

        Like

      1. I’d love a jule kaga. Second choice would be Hungarian raisin rye, if for some reason the jule kaga ran out. I will e-mail you.

        Like

  9. I’m sure that any magazine that put a picture of me on its cover would almost immediately go out of business, but here’s a few (none of these magazines exist in real life):
    * Urban Herb Farmer
    * Indecision Magazine
    * Popcorn Monthly: The Magazine for People Who Think Popcorn Makes the Best Supper
    *KidLit: The Magazine for People Who Have Never Grown Up Enough to Like Adult Books

    Like

    1. I envision every issue of Indecision Magazine as about 700 pages long, because no one would be able to decide what to edit out.

      Like

      1. And maybe it would have several covers with several indecisive people on each one – because they can’t decide which one is the best cover…

        OR it would be really short because the people submitting the articles could never make the decision to make their article submission.

        Like

  10. lcbj
    lower case bloggers journal is the only publication i can imagine being cover material of. likely publisher author proof reader and also.
    i counted up the bloggers here and coame up with 20 or so we will need to share months on the calandar in a couple instances. firefly chitrader and holly will need to share the cheescake shot with the rest of us. i think the back of clydes head should be the cover.
    ot … field trip possibility, robert bly
    dec 12 plymouth congregational free free free
    A Celebration of Tomas Tranströmer with Robert Bly
    Date & Time December 12, 2011 (7:00 p.m.)
    Location Plymouth Congregational Church
    Following the awarding of the Nobel Prize in Literature to Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer, Literary Witnesses presents a reading of Tranströmer’s poetry by his close friend and translator Robert Bly at Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis. The evening will be introduced by poet Thomas R. Smith, who is editing the American edition of Air Mail, the correspondence between Bly and Tranströmer that is already a bestseller in Sweden. This free event is cosponsored by Literary Witnesses, Graywolf Press, the American Swedish Institute, the University of Minnesota Libraries, and the Loft. A reception will follow.

    Like

    1. Sounds good to me. Are we preempting game night or combining events?

      I would likely be disqualified for lcbj magazine due to Frequent Gratuitous Capitalization.

      Like

    2. rats no i will hold game board night. i meant to put out the word tha i would hold it again and / or just make it a permanant fixture if you st paulites want to make the treck. if you want it to move arounf thats ok too. so game night 12/12

      Like

  11. Evening–
    I thought this was a quiet week for me but I sure have been busy doing ‘stuff’…

    Trying to get ready for Christmas concerts here at the college next week so lots of lighting prep work. Thankfully my friend Paul is doing the stage design and he does WONDERFUL things with Christmas. And he enjoys it too.
    Part 1 of the concert is very quiet and traditional. All whites and glittery things. Act II is the jazz band upstairs in the cafeteria with ice cream treats. The Third half is back down onstage and filled with color. And Santa. And the audience singing carols with the choir. And fun lighting stuff (with colored shadows?) and snow machines.

    Like

    1. Oh, I’m sorry; I forgot to answer the question.
      I used to get lots of farming magazines and I find it interesting now I get more theater magazines than farming magazines.
      I always wanted to appear in the ‘Helpful Hints’ section at the back of Successful Farmer. Not the cover I know. I’m not cover material…

      Like

  12. Real Simple. For obvious reasons.

    BQ Bart – the bear dreams are made of. Bart to Simple Wench: “Don’t mess with me or so help me I’ll crush you!” SW to Bart: “So crush me and mess me. I’ll help you!”

    Like

Leave a reply to Jim in Clarks Grove Cancel reply