Uncategorized

Spin’s Xmas Letter

43 Comments

Here’s this year’s Christmas letter from visionary, dealmaker and one-man economic engine Spin Williams, who is always in control at The Meeting That Never Ends:

Congratulations on achieving another Fully Merry or at least Somewhat Cheerful Christmas, everyone!

I’ve waited to send this letter until The Day Itself has passed so I can speak to you directly about what you’ve already accomplished. That’s just one of the great management techniques I try to put into practice every single day. Offering Positive Feedback to Underlings – because people are not inspired when you bestow vague hopes for something that might happen in the near or distant future. I’m a businessman so I don’t believe in luck or wishes. Everything that matters most in my world is the result of careful planning and growing your market share.

And now that Christmas is passed, don’t expect me to make any limp resolutions for the New Year, either. Though if I could change one thing, it would be the nature of the 1% vs. 99% debate. So far we’ve heard a lot from the 99%’ers about how they are so disadvantaged. But where are the 1%’ers who are willing to speak in favor of being gloriously rich? And it IS glorious to be rich, believe me. We should talk it up.

A few have stepped forward – most recently in this article on Bloomberg News. Finally some of the ultra-well-to-do are letting their Privileged Pride show! Here’s my favorite comment so far, offered by Robert Rosenkranz, CEO of Wilmington, Delaware-based Delphi Financial Group Inc., a seller of workers’-compensation and group-life insurance. He was quoted in the Bloomberg article.

“It’s simply a fact that pretty much all the private- sector jobs in America are created by the decisions of ‘the 1 percent’ to hire and invest. Since their confidence in the future more than any other factor will drive those decisions, it makes little sense to undermine their confidence by vilifying them.”

He’s right. We rich people ARE the economy, so don’t make us feel bad about ourselves. Everyone knows you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. And you can catch even MORE flies if you lose your job, don’t wash for twelve weeks in a row, and start living in your car. In any case, I think we can agree that it’s wrong for anyone anywhere to say anything unkind about rich people. So don’t do it!

In the meantime, I think we Riches ought to advocate for ourselves. I usually don’t have any family-related activities at Christmastime because I live for work and haven’t had time to procreate, (I’ve been too busy making jobs!) But I do have some relatives-for-hire who come spend time at my house on those holidays when everyone else seems to want to stay home.

This past Sunday afternoon my faux nephew and central casting neice were arguing over a game of Monopoly I was forcing them to play. I don’t even like Monopoly, but I’m told some people break it out after all the gifts have been opened, and I wanted to experience a Christmas that was “normal”.

And as I watched these fake siblings nearly come to blows over whether one of them did or DID NOT cross “Go” and Collect $200 Dollars, I realized that this kind of plain spoken intensity is what I was have not been hearing in the 1%’s defense. So I wrote it down!

“Dear 99%’ers – You’re right on all counts. You suck at this and we are so totally demolishing you at this game! It’s not even funny. We’ve gathered up all the money and have purchased all the property and yes, only some worthless scraps remain. Face it. You are one Parking Ticket away from total destruction.

And it is SO easy to take your money! You don’t know how to use the bank and you can’t figure out how to turn the political piece to your advantage either. We, however, have loads of experience. Did you notice we took ALL the tax increase cards out of the “Chance” pile when you weren’t looking? It’s not against the rules – check! There’s nothing there that says you can’t!

What’s more, you don’t even know you’re playing a game – you think this is your life. Ha! You are so pathetic. Really, you should put up a better fight. We’re winning, we’re winning, we’re WINNING! Nyahh!”

Or words to that effect. That’s what I think the wealthy should be saying, but so few of my fellow Riches have the fortitude to stand up and speak their own minds. And almost none have the nerve to speak MY mind. But taunting is a great way to get people motivated, and that’s what I’d like to provide for you in 2012 – an incentive to get off your duff. So stay tuned, and thanks for reading this letter all the way to the end!

It seems like Spin Williams has fallen a little too deep in the eggnog and whiskey over the long weekend, and he might regret sending out this rambling, provocative mess.

Have you ever sent a letter or a message you wished you could recall?

43 thoughts on “Spin’s Xmas Letter”

  2. Good morning to all. Well, if you are married and have kids you would be a very unusual person if you have never said anything to your spouse or children that you regreted, but I will refrain from talking about that here. I might add to the number of things I regret saying if I talk about those unfortunate messages. I do try to avoid sending any unfortunate messages out over the internet, but I can see that it would be easy to do that because the person isn’t in front of you and you might be tempted to write something that shouldn’t be recorded in writing.

    Job interviews are one of the places I am most likely to put my foot in my mouth. They really shouldn’t ask people all those questions designed to put them on the spot at job interviews. However, I can put my foot in my mouth at a job interview even when asked a friendly question. This is another situation I probably shouldn’t talk about. In fact there are lots of times when it would have been best and is best for me to follow the often given advice that “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”..

    Like

    Reply

    1. On the other hand, I’m impressed that you can recall multiple job interviews. I know from experience that it can be difficult to get even one!

      Like

      Reply

    2. well, i have a job interview tomorrow – hopefully, I can manage to get through it without making any statements i regret. although i tend to regret what i HAVEN”T said more than what I have said in those types of situations. my brain freezes and it’s not until about 3 hours later that i think of what i should have said.

      Like

      Reply

      2. edith say what you would like to have happen not want you dont want to have happen.
        say in the past i may have messed up but this time i feel much better and i am sure i will doa good job of presenting me and hopefully they will want me for the job.
        saying i blow it plants a seed. dont do it.

        Like

        Reply

      4. Best of luck, Edith. Confidence can be hard to project when you’re feeling desperate. Think of yourself as an actor auditioning for a part, it’s technique that has worked for me in the past. Set me free to step outside of my comfort zone.

        Like

        Reply

  3. have i ever sent out a long rambling message i wish i could take back? well let me see….. how about monday remember that one or last friday. ooohhh that was a dooosey. if i had to start being careful about what i said i’d be forced to stop talking.
    a masterpeice of the presentation for the 99% vs the 1% form spin this morning, he is right the 99% doesn’t have a clue. the only chance they have is for the 1% to blow it by being too self confident like the election in 2008 or too out of touch with the fact that the minions they corraled into the gop under the pretense of guns gays and god have taken control of the ship and are steering it into the corner where it can not continue its talking around in circles. if you eliminate taxing and insist on spending reductions and cant keep pushing it out to state and local levels because they have the same mantra then it all comes to a screeching halt. they have taken all the tax the rich cards out of the deck and and it is begining to be a problem. if you pull 90 dollars out of a 100 dollar billl and can only tax ten dollars worth it makes it difficult to get the needed 30 dollars in tax revenue. but i am sure there will be a solution in there somewhere. google gop no tax mantra. it is interesting

    http://www.whereistheoutrage.net/wordpress/2011/12/15/finally-a-tax-cut-republicans-hate/

    Like

    Reply

    1. It is amazing to hear the GOP campaign ads that now sound very slightly liberal when the over riding GOP approach has been to brand anything that sounds the least bit liberal as a socialist plan to ruin the country. Romney says he is a man with a plan to create jobs. What?, isn’t that a socialist liberal thing? Gingrich says he knows how to make us a great country again when he is the one who was willing to do anything to have his way including all kinds of harmful lies about Democrats. Oops! Am I saying something I should keep to myself?

      Like

      Reply

      1. Regarding job creation, the GOP does say that by not taxing the rich, jobs will be created. I don’t think so. However, when it comes to plans for job creation they say the magic hand of free enterprise will create jobs and government should not do anything to adjust the economy to create jobs other than not taxing the rich or eliminating their tax breaks.

        Like

        Reply

    2. There was a commentary on All Things Considered last week sometime that drew a parallel between the Occupy movement and the peasant revolts of yore – had you replace “young woman” or “protestor” with “peasant” and see where it got you. So if we think of that 1% as our Tsarist overlords, it really does give one a slightly different perspective.

      Like

      Reply

  4. I once sent a perfectly good email to the wrong distribution list at work…which meant I sent it to a couple hundred people (including at least one executive VP) instead of the much smaller group for which it was intended. Thankfully, there was nothing bad, scary or inappropriate in the message, but it sure wasn’t something all those folks needed to clog their inbox (as I recall, there was an attachment that was not petite). Tried to use the “recall” function in Outlook to recall the message with limited success…told my boss in case anyone asked him what on earth I was doing sending messages to VPs, and then hid in my cube and tried to be as unnoticeable as possible.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I know a person who clicked ‘reply all’ rather than ‘forward’ and then complained about the person sending the original email. Uh, “Awkward”…
      The original poster then wrote back saying ‘I’m guessing you didn’t meant to copy me on that…’
      Took a long time to live that one down– if they ever did.

      Like

      Reply

  5. Oh, gawwwd! How many times have I sent out a slightly sassy letter and then realized how totally inappropriate it was for my audience? I’ve looked in vain on my keyboard the key that promises to “suck back all questionable letters.”

    When Comcast took over the smaller company I used as an ISP, all its customers had to change our email addresses. I made a shrewd guess about the new email address of a woman with whom I shred a lively–but coarse and smutty–dialogue. Her sense of humor was as raunchy as mine, which I found shocking. I sent her stuff that made me blush.

    Then one day I got a nice letter from some woman who said, “Dear Mr. Grooms, I think you have been sending me mail that you intended to go to a person named Carol. Some of the letters were strange. At first I thought this was coming from my husband’s church group, since there were so many references to God. But after getting the cartoon on PMS, I realize I was wrong. Could you check your email address book?”

    Oooops!

    Like

    Reply

      1. i cant believe all the posts that make you blush had her thinking it was a church group. must be a different church group than the one i grew up with. they would all be appallled at steves off color innuendos

        Like

        Reply

  6. Morning everyone!
    Hope you’re all having a chance to enjoy the holidays whatever they might mean for you.

    Wow, Spin! Why don’t you tell us what you really think??

    Back in 10th or 11th grade, I said something hurtful to a friend of mine about another person standing nearby. And intentionally said it loud enough for the other person to hear because I thought it was funny. Wish I could take that back.

    And a few years ago there was a large email discussion going on within my family regarding my parents 50th wedding anniversary. We didn’t all agree on things but it was a civil discussion. Until I made a few comments that were rather, uh, snotty perhaps? Again, I thought it was funny… but there was deafening silence back and I knew I had screwed up.
    Not sure I regret it as I still think it’s funny… but perhaps I would phrase thing differently…

    OT- watched ‘Indiscreet’ yesterday since PJ posted that video last week. What fun! “Everyone wants to be Cary Grant”

    Like

    Reply

    1. It can be hard to choose the right words, especially in some family situations. I guess that’s part of being in a family. As the saying goes, “you can’t please all of them all of the time, and …….” ..

      Like

      Reply

    4. The rest of the story regarding my parents 50th anniversary; my siblings got over it and we all took a family vacation. And I just remembered, I had requested Dale and Jim Ed to play some polkas for my folks. In the main cabin we all watched my parents dance to the polkas the guys played.
      Thanks Dale.

      Like

      Reply

  7. Always liked this one…

    I don’t have a lot of snark in me and I’m usually careful and considerate. I did kinda get into trouble once over an e-mail response that I thought the recipient would find funny, but she didn’t. Learned my lesson from that one. Now mostly when I want to take something back it’s because it has a typo in it.

    Like

    Reply

      2. I agree, BiR. Too many unfortunate things can happen on the way to get a laugh out of someone. Maybe we need a new punctuation mark to go at the beginning of a sentence to indicate that everything that follows is intended to be a joke.

        Like

        Reply

      3. That’s how I view 🙂 at the end of a sentence. Perhaps a warning ahead of time would be helpful too.

        Like

        Reply

  8. I sometimes realize after the fact that I’ve passed on a little too much information about a person, with family or friends both – it gets back to the person being discussed. I shake my head and say to myself “Self, you did it again – how can you be so two-faced?” And then I’m careful for a while till it happens again.

    On the other hand, I’m very good at keeping a secret if someone askes me specifically. Go figure.

    OT: Sister and nephew still here, but we’re past all the Christmases. Be really back maybe Friday. Have a good week, Babooners.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Just this afternoon I’ve received a fund raising letter from Citizens’ Council for Health Freedom that proclaims in big red letters on the envelope “STOP OBAMACARE! Speak Directly to the Supreme Court.” Surely that was sent to me by mistake! It may be worth the postage that their SASE requires to let them know just exactly what I think of them and their politics.

    Like

    Reply

  10. I have sent numerous letters or messages that I regret sending. Nowadays I mostly write them out and then delete them before sending.

    Like

    Reply

  11. there is a drunken typing detector that can be installed on your keyboard so that if you type to many mistakes and don’t notice they will not send it.
    i had a bottle of wine or so one night and hit the send button to everyone on my contact list to be my facebook or linkedin buddy. ill bet there were 1000 sends. i wondered what the heck was going on when i started hearing form all sorts of people in china i hadn’t been in contact with for years. then i realized what i had done. facebook appears now to have a filter so you don’t send to everyone. on linkedin you need to know the email address who you are sending to in order to offer to be friends.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Barbara in Robbinsdale Cancel reply