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Ask Dr. Babooner

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Dear Dr. Babooner,

I don’t ask for a lot, but every once in a while it would be nice to get some career recognition. I’m in the film industry. While most think it’s a very romantic place to work, I can testify that the little people are greatly undervalued and habitually overlooked. No surprise there, I guess. The business runs on self-absorption. Attention hogs dominate at every level.

My job is crucial – I’m a certified FCPVS for the Title Imaging Department of a major studio. I know most people don’t get film industry jargon – that’s how technically complex it has become! Basically I’m in charge of verifying many of the key trades that support the film financially, confirming that contractual recognition has been provided in an efficient and timely fashion.

That’s a little complex. To put it in simpler terms, I act as a check and balance on the filmmaker’s commitment to fulfill some basic obligations that are an important part of the cinematic process.

OK, here’s what it is: I proofread the final credits.

But that’s getting to be a bigger and bigger job! Have you seen how long the credits are in movies these days? They go on forever, with names and titles in tinier and tinier print – weird jobs like Second Unit Factotum and Libra Head Operator being done by people with crazy, unspellable names, like Marc Mnémosyne and Lygia Day Szelwach. And while almost no actual moviegoers stick around to watch the credits, entertainment lawyers do. The way people get credit on a film is laid out in very exact language in their contracts, and if the final credits have to be re-done, that can get very expensive.

So my job is super-important.

But last night at the Oscars, not one of those snooty actors, grandiose directors, worthless producers or tortured writers took even a moment to thank the FCPVS (Final Credit Proofreading & Verification Specialist) on their project. What a bunch of selfish ingrates!

I’m fairly sure I could do any one of their jobs, but I’m absolutely certain that none of them have the patience to do mine!

Dr. Babooner, how do I get the acclaim that I deserve?

Epilogue Magoo, F.C.P.V.S.

I told Ms. or Mr. Magoo that there is no guarantee that credit will ever be given where it is due. Insisting that someone thank you takes the normal gratitude process and turns it around. In a more typical sequence of events, grateful feelings well up naturally inside the thankful person as a direct by-product of your actions. These feelings build to such a degree that they must be expressed. By demanding acknowledgement without any of the other steps, you skip over any genuine sentiment and go straight for the payoff. While this approach may get you a little bit of lukewarm recognition, it is ultimately a hollow feeling that will leave you even more depressed than before.
And I’d like to thank B. Marty Barry, from whom I stole this answer.
But that’s just one opinion.

What do you think, Dr. Babooner?

27 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Whoa, I didn’t even hear the voice of B. Marty until you told me Dale. That is really creepy that he almost naturally sounds like you.

    We usually watch the ending credits, as so many of the very few movies we actually go to see have either something amusing at the very end or clever animation throughout those credits.

    Also, I like to see if I know anybody who worked on the thing.

    All those people who actually MAKE the fabulous award-winning, not to mention performer flattering costumes-not a peep or a whisper of their work. It is often not even possible to find out which shop they were made at, let alone the actual NAMES of people who worked hours upon hours trying to defy the laws of physics with mere fabric and thread.

    Most of the people I know who have worked on such a project are just happy to be able to use the fact that they worked on it to get more work, and maybe brag a little to friends and family.

    And really who needs the Oscars to go on even longer?

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  2. I suggest that Ms Magoo that since she checks the credits for accuracy, she should just insert her name in a prominent place on the credit list. Someone will be sure to see it. Sometimes a person needs to toot their own horn.

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  3. Good morning to all. Awards and credits are never going to be completely fair and generally I think we would be better off without them. This wouldd eliminate Magoo’s job, so I’m sure he or she doesn’t agree with me. I agree with Dale. You should never expect to get an award or credit for what you do. Someone will always be left out that should be recognized so it is best to never expect these things and better yet if there are no awards and no credits. That said, I do usually watch the credits to see if I know any of the names and I don’t know why I do this because while I’m watching them I always think why are they bothering to give the names of all these people.

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  4. Rise and get some CREDIT Baboons!

    Ms. Magoo, I really dislike being the bearer of bad news, but here I am again in this role. You are trying to get noticed and lauded in an industry in which notariety is the life blood. The film industry puts on a boring party every year just so people can get noticed on TV, then somehow get people to watch the behemoth bore-athon. In this milleau, the FCPVS is competing with people who are so good at garnering attention that the entire paparazzi (spelling?) industry has arisen just to give them attention when they DON’T want it, which is almost never.

    Your desire to want some distinction is normal. However, I would advise you to create your own modest awards ceremony, because the Oscar thing is above your pay grade. You will never win with these guys–they are just too good at hoarding fame and credit for them to give you any.

    So sorry. Just the facts, Ma’am.

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    1. Maybe Ms Magoo needs to find a reality show she can insert herself into. Nowadays, it seems the quickest way to get noticed, launch a career & become famous. She’ll be fighting off the paparazzi in no time. But she shouldn’t count on getting recognition for a job well done. It’s a fickle business.

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  5. The world is full of thankless jobs. Sorry.

    If you would like to be appreciated, EM, you could try volunteering your time for a worthy cause. Then you receive lavish praise in lieu of a paycheck. For the majority of us, it’s one or the other.

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    1. This is so true. Sometimes the praise is so lavish it’s embarrassing. You don’t feel that you’ve done enough to warrant it. Of course, we are all shy persons…

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  6. Morning-
    We always watch the credits too.

    “How do I get the acclaim that I deserve?” Well, first off, you just have to believe in yourself. Second, you have to amuse yourself; as has been said, put your name in there somewhere. Or, better yet, a pseudonym of your Mom, wife, kids, dog and childhood street address.

    Make it fun for you… and softly chuckle at it all….

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  7. Morning all. The entertainment industry leaves me cold — really, how many different kinds of lauds and kudos do these folks really need, in addition to their large paychecks and adoring publics? I actually didn’t realize that last night was Oscar night until I was flipping around on the cable guide and saw a couple of shows about “Red Carpet”. I’m not sure what movies and actors/actresses were up for what this year, but I’m guessing I didn’t see any of them, since I so rarely head out to the movie theatre.

    So I’m thinking that anybody who needs recognition badly enough to write to an advice columnist needs to find a better industry to spill their life’s blood for.

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  8. Most of the “behind the scenes” folks i know who are worth their salt figure that if they have done their job well, no one will notice what they have done. If your work gets noticed it either means the acting is uniquely bad (and so the audience is distracted by the maroon couch or the teal dress or the cool gobo used on the upstage lighting), or you have done something glaring that is upstaging the actors (who are so good at hogging the attention that it takes a hunters’ orange moose head to upstage them). Better to get the acknowledgements of your peers who know the intricacies of your work than from some overdressed ego with a toothy grin.

    Magoo, your whining and protestations have me wondering if you are not happy with your current work and perhaps you are a frustrated actor yourself longing to be telling the folks on the red carpet that yes, you are wearing a custom Givenchy (or Tom Ford or Alexander McQueen or…) gown and isn’t it just divine? Those “little people” are sooooo good at making you look effortlessly elegant (even though you have been suffering their ministrations for hours and days to get that look).

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  9. I only watch the “best” supporting and leading actors and movie of the year. The only person who truly caught my heart was Meryl Streep because she was authentic through & through. Deservedly acclaimed as she is, her response to winning was clearly unrehearsed, spontaneous & genuine. It does seem silly to watch three hours of this folly for just the last few minutes.

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  10. OT, anyone want to share what soup they are planning for the swap? I’m looking at recipes and I keep thinking “….but I bet someone else will bring that.” I am not very original; it doesn’t much matter to me if I show up in the same Givenchy gown that someone else is wearing, but soup, on the other hand, is important to me.

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  11. We stay through the credits because we want to see what some of the music was, and it’s always at the very end for some reason. True, as mig mentioned, you do usually get to see or hear some more cool stuff.

    Nice to have B. Marty in on this – I agree with all the above, will check in again if I think of something original.

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  12. It must be tough to be in an industry where those who get the kudos get such an exorbitant amount of praise compared to the rest of us mortals who feel like it’s a red letter day if we ever get a “well done” or if our work gets noticed at all. Sorry, Magoo.

    Maybe you should take up a hobby or something where you will get appreciation. If you cook great meals or desserts once in a while, you could probably find someone to give praise for that. The trick is to do it once in a while – if you do it every day, it will be taken for granted.

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  13. Greetings! Dear Magoo: get used to it — that’s just life and that’s how it is. Ditto what everyone else said.

    I love watching the Oscars, but I couldn’t watch it last night. No cable, no TV reception and no live webcast — boo-hoo! The only live webcast was the Red Carpet and backstage happenings. Who cares? I wanted to see Billy Crystal and all the stars onstage! I was disappointed and upset, so I went to bed early.

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