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Stay Awake

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The death at age 86 of Disney composer and lyricist Robert Sherman has served to remind people of a certain age that they grew up with a particular group of songs that are indelible. Including, but not limited to, It’s a Small World, I Want To Be Like You, and everything from the film Mary Poppins.

Sherman and his brother Richard wrote for a bunch of Disney films – familiar ones like The Jungle Book and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and movies you never heard of like The One And Only, Genuine, Original Family Band – a film about politics in 1888 and a musical Missouri family moving to the Black Hills. Yes, Robert Sherman and his brother wrote a song called “Oh, Benjamin Harrison.” Not every work by a genius turns out to be a work of genius.

The two Sherman Brothers did not get along with each other, though they occasionally tried to make it look as though they did. Both wrote lyrics and music, though it appears Robert was more drawn to the words. Lots of songs have been nominated as favorites in the past 24 hours. This is mine – for the clever contrast of words, music and intent.

http://youtu.be/nPw6QBSggls

Has reverse psychology worked for you? Or on you?

66 thoughts on “Stay Awake”

  2. Good morning to all. The short answer to the question is yes reverse psychology has worked for me and has worked on me. I wish I could think of some good examples. I might come up with some I can share latter today.

    The long answer is that probably most of my effective use of reverse psycology was on my own children before they were old enough to know what I was doing which I think was when they were very young. I’m sure that when they got older it didn’t work. I try to be fairly straight forward most of the time and don’t usually use reverse psycology or don’t admit that I do.

    Has reverse phycology worked on me? It probably has but how would I know?

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  3. Dale, At least one of us does remember the “One and Only Genuine Original Family Band”. When I was in 7th grade I started at an all girl very proper school.. The father of one of my classmates was involved with film distribution and he would arrange for us to see films before their theatrical release. After this treat, a talented student would be chosen to take out her fountain pen and write a thank you note. I clearly remember that by the time I wrote Dear Mr Johnston, Thank you for arranging for us to see “The One….Band” the card was filled and I simply signed my name.

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  4. I heard one of the two Disney songwriter brothers died yesterday and I wondered if it was one of these two and sadly, sure enough it was . I had seen a special documentary on these guys only once a bunch of years ago and I was multi tasking at the moment but there was a draw there, these two curmudgeons in a room with piano and paper set about to write songs the same way accountants balance the books. I need a ditty to plug in to this slot in the movie and presto out pops supercalafragalisticegbyaladocius. I’m not sure there is better proof that man can achieve greatness. The film focused on the horrible time they had with what turned out to be the slot just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down filled. I love that it works like that.

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  6. My two-year-old grandson, Liam, is bright and willful, and he has strong ideas about what he will eat. My son-in-law, John, has been controlling Liam with reverse psychology in long fights at the dinner table that I, frankly, think are silly.

    The fights start with Liam announcing he hates what is on his plate. Soon he and John are involved in a joking, smiling shouting match that masks the real power contest going on. “YOU eat your beans!” shouts John. “I HATE beans!” roars Liam. “YOU eat your beans!” “I HATE beans!”

    Then, at a key moment, John works the switch. He’ll suddenly say to Liam, “Well, DADDY will eat your beans!” Liam, caught up in the seesaw pattern of opposition, will retort, “NO, I eat my beans!” And he does.

    Or did.

    Two days ago, the fight was about zucchini. “I HATE chini!” said Liam. “YOU eat your chini!” said John. “But I HATE chini!” replied Liam, who hadn’t ever tasted this latest green, slimy thing his parents had put on his plate.

    The two of them got into it, setting up that old confrontational rhythm, hollering at the table. And then John worked the old reverse psychology twist.

    “Okay, Liam, DADDY will eat the chini!”

    Liam grinned, stabbed a bunch of zucchini with his fork, held it out for John and roared, “Yes, YOU will eat the chini!” What he was really saying was, “That old trick has worked for the last time, Daddy!”

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    1. Those struggles between Laim and his father reminds me of my struggles with students that wouldn’t behave when I was their sub teacher. I would tell them that they had to leave the room and go to the office because they wouldn’t behave. They told me they would not leave. I told them that if they didn’t go, I would call someone who would come and get them. This always worked. They went to the office on their own. Of course, I always called the office to make sure that they made it to the office.

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    2. A certain amount of, especially silly, reverse psychology can work well with the stubborn child. It has worked with Darling Daughter so long as it is used judiciously. Works with food and a variety of other things – it is an especially good weapon with DD when we need to point out that she is being stubborn about not wanting to try something new just because it is new. (She has, however, caught onto my, “alrighty then, more yummy stuff for me” tactic…)

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      1. You sound like a good mom. Remember that you want your child to be bright enough to see through your silly efforts to manipulate her. It makes for long meal times but is better than paying a tutor some day to get her through fifth grade arithmetic. The intellect and stubbornness that drive you batty at meal time will someday enable her to complete a project everyone else has abandoned. Better a bright, difficult child than a sweet, docile dolt.

        Which I can say, since I no longer have to worry about this stuff!

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      2. One tactic we used on our daughter for awhile involved taking her portable CD player away. When I threatened her with that one day she responded ‘OK. I have music in my head anyway.’

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    4. I, too, had a willful child… especially at meal time. It was my mother who finally stumbled on a tactic that worked. She would preface each request that was met with resistance with “Don’t you dare… (eat those peas, brush your teeth, etc)”. Worked like a charm for years. Same daughter has a mini-version of herself on her hands now (you’ve got to love when that happens)… and she’s finding that same tactic to be the one that works for her.

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  7. I use a sideways reverse psychology regularly on myself where when stumped and put in a situation whet I can see no resolution I simply convince mysel that I am on a remote island and if I don’t get this solved I will be left to die and by found dead and starving from lack of the ability to go on. The creative juices take their cue and previously hidden options come out from under the stones they had hidden beneath and before you know it I have 3 or 4 options before me. My kids see it and are able to understand that while we will all fail in this life from time to time it is possible to do it creatively and you do have a choice of how you will go down in flames. The options are at your fingertips.
    I saw Lyle Lovett and john Hyatt last night and Lyle was talking about how he wrote this song while he was supposed to be doing something else and how there was a psychologist who had documented studies that doing things while you are supposed to be doing other is very good for your brain. It was a great song. I’m glad our brain works like that.

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    1. Hmmm… I always thought that doing things while you are supposed to be doing other things is called procrastination. All the same, I do find that my procrastinating periods are pretty productive. I’m glad our brain works like that, too.

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  8. Stay Awake is one of my favorite Sherman Brothers tunes. The cover version done by Suzanne Vega (from Hal Willner’s Disney tribute album of the same name) is awesome for the atmosphere it creates with her bare-bones acapella delivery, and it’s one of my favorite covers in general. Glad to see this song getting some love in here!

    As for the reverse psychology thing, my mother is a Jedi Master in that technique. I have seen her use it to convince my dad into going to social functions he doesn’t want to attend, mowing lawns he doesn’t want to mow, and eating things he doesn’t want to eat. I’m sure she did it with me when I was a kid, but I don’t remember any specific incidents. She’s just gold-medal good at it.

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      1. Thanks – not a lurker, just a new blogger who’s looking around for interesting things to read and luckily, I stumbled onto this post! Seems like there’s a lot of good material here which I will certainly delve into…thanks again for the welcome (and thanks to Sherrilee as well)!

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    4. Yes, let me join the others in welcoming you doubleyooteeeff. Have a look around – you’ll find the best writing here is in the comments section, pretty much every day.

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      1. My goodness, I’m having a Sally Field moment: “You like me…you really like me!” 😉 Very decent of y’all to extend the kind comments, and please call me Chris (my user name is a pain in the rear to type out). This does seem to be a nifty blog and the regulars seem friendly enough, so I’m sure I’ll see y’all around now and again!

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      2. Nice tribute to women on your blog today, wtf. Looking forward to having you drop in on the Trail from time to time.

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  9. I’m sure my mother must have used reverse psychology on me… I know I’ve described her before as the queen of passive/aggressive, and that must be a tool in her arsenal… but I can’t think of any examples right now.

    Reverse doesn’t work as well on the teenager, although coming at things sideways works wonderfully — I’m amazed that she recognizes one but not the other. But don’t anyone tell her!

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  10. Aside from parenting (either as parent or child), the incident that springs to mind is one that I don’t think was intended as reverse psychology, but it sure worked that way. I’m sure I have told you lot about the theater professor I had who told me my senior year that I would not cut it in the professional theater world if I was going to crumple and not get the work done on time for a set. Mind you – this was my first set that I had designed and executed by myself and I was the sole person on my crew (I was working by myself in the theater at about 10 or 10:30 at night when this conversation happened – so I was probably tired and cranky to boot). What would have been more useful and more helpful would have been if he would have played more of an academic adviser role and asked what resources he could help me tap into – alas he took a different route of “clearly this means you should find a different career.” He said later he was trying to toughen me up. I got the set done out of spite. I don’t like finishing sets that way – still don’t (had another a few years later that I also finished out of spite – vowed never worked for that director again). I couldn’t bring myself to tell that prof what I thought of his “toughen up” speech, but i did tell my actual adviser (who was a gentler soul and the design professor) what I thought about it…think I said something along the lines of, “that tactic might be fine if this were a competitive BFA program, but we are decidedly not that.” Pretty sure that message got passed along. He was a good professor, and had a lot of excellent knowledge to share, but needed to learn that his new department was different than the one he had left. I was glad for the excellent work he did building up the department, and I think my late night chat with him might have been an anomaly during his tenure there.

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    1. Instructors of any sort who abuse underlings and then congratulate themselves for being inspirational are indulging in the worst sort of self-serving excuse for failing to conduct themselves professionally. People like that secretly enjoy throwing little tantrums and slashing at other people’s ego, and they hide behind the fiction that they are doing it for the benefit of those they just assaulted.

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      1. He really isn’t and wasn’t a “slashing at egos” kinda guy (exacting perfectionist, yes, but not self-serving or ego destroying) – so this incident was a little surprising. I honestly think he meant well, and with someone else the delivery method might have fallen differently – but clearly I did not receive the message the way he intended.

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  11. COMPLETELY OT – JASPER FFORDE ALERT. I just got an email alert from the Henn Cnty Library that they have just ordered “The Woman Who DIed A Lot”. Request it quick before the line is too long!

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  12. Many years ago I ran a teen counseling program for the local YMCA. A particularly depressed 16-year old came in for weekly sessions with the same complaint week after week after week; “No one likes me because I’m just soooooo boring”. Each time, I’d let my misguided empathy push back on her self-view by energetically refuting it. Crocodile tears flowed each time she denigrated herself. Finally, realizing that I wasn’t really helping her at all, I agreed with her. One more time came the words, “I’m soooo boring!”, to which I replied, “You know what? You ARE boring. In fact,
    let me list the many ways in which you’re boring (make up stuff here)!” In a mere instant, this girl looked at me in utter shock, then a smile formed, then raucous laughter. That was the last time she ever spoke about being boring. Years later, I discovered that this organic technique had a clinical name: paradoxical therapy. It was amazingly fun and effective to simply agree with her and in the doing, reveal the absurdity of her broken record belief.

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    1. For some reason this reminds me of what I used to do with son Joel, when he would rant about something that was so horrible. I’d stop what I was doing, placidly look him in the eye and say “Oh.” Since he saw that I was listening, it made him reconsider the gravity of the situation. Learned it in a Co-Counseling class…

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  13. Rise and Fall Baboons!

    This morning I fell on the ice, covered by snow which began while I was walking so I did m\not have my cleats on. I broke my left arm. Therefore I am typing 1 handed. As I left the house I thought, “be careful.” Reverse psych on myself!

    It hurts. I’ll be lurking on responding tersely.

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    2. Sorry, sorry. Been through this with my sister who fell on the ice and broke her wrist right at the joint. She went through a lot to get it right, which it now is. But when they were working on it a doctor injected novocaine into her vein. She went into severe seizures and almost died. She was out of it for more than 24 hours. Here’s the boon of this story. They decided they better do a brain scan, considering how deep they were at risk for a malpractice suit.
      Here is the boon indeed. They found a tumor at the base of her brain. It has been kept in check with drugs for 7 years now. She is having an MRI today to check on it, which they do every 6 months. She turns 70 the end of this month.

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    3. Ouch! Take care of yourself Jacque (and let Lou wait on you hand and foot). Curl up with the pooch and do only that which doesn’t require two hands or cause pain.

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    6. Ow Jacque. There was a KFAI volunteer who reported an icy fall this morning too. Gravity wins this one, but you’ll recover! Amazing, when you think of it, that our bones can mend themselves. On the plus side, you are relieved from any kind of snow shoveling for the rest of March, April and May.

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      1. We’re dropping like flies! We simply cannot ALL go down at the same time. You two heal and the rest of us will hold down the fort and try to keep ourselves out of trouble (and vertical, as Clyde suggests).

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  15. OUCH! I am beginning to suspect a sinister plot with gravity grabbing more than its fair share of baboons this season. Has anyone checked out Edith’s alibis lately…..?

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    1. I am reading Umberto Eco’s novel The Prague Cemetary, a very disturbing book about real conspiracies and actual bad things that happened militarily and politically in the mid to late 19th Century in France and Italy, that Eco manages to lay at the feet of one villain. I realize it is a novel, but I would imagine that a mastermind like Edith could have something to do with both ur imperiled baboons. (Edith, if this gets to be too much teasing, please let us know).

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      1. I’m reading a cemetery book: Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book, A Newberry Award winner. Wonderful. Everyone should read a children’s book every now and again.

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  16. Mom used to try to use reverse psychology on me but it never worked for her. She was so unbelievably obvious about it. She really believed that I didn’t understand what she was doing.

    It’s funny, because now I can use it on her in subtle ways to get information out of her. I worry about her living up on that hill, way back in the woods all by herself because I’m afraid she’ll fall. She has osteoporosis and has broken both of her wrists falling. Fortunately, it hasn’t been a hip.

    She resents my interest in her well-being. She’s stubborn about her independence and perceives me as the daughter who will try to take it away from her. I want her to be independent and do everything she can as long as possible, but I know she doesn’t tell me how often she falls and I think it’s pretty often. So, I tell her stories from the news or make up stories about women falling somewhere alone and then she’ll open up and tell me. She fell last week on an area of ice that was covered with a light skiff of snow. She told me her head hit the concrete and that she has a goose egg. She also revealed an episode of syncope in a Target store in Rochester, after which she drove herself home. So you see, I have to get information from her in a somewhat indirect manner.

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  17. I’m sure ive been the user and the usee of reverse psychology, but can’t remember any specifics. I have, like Krista, started to consider using it with my mom – she will get an idea that is untenable and hang onto it… I find that if I just go along with it, not try to fight her, she will usually come around to my way of thinking once enough time has passed. Usually.

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    1. Yes. Let her talk and think about something for awhile until the idea passes on its own. A month or so ago Mom was talking about driving down to Gulf Shores, AL. Because of her physical problems, she’s unable to drive the 90 miles to my house. It hurts her too much. I let her keep her dream of this road trip to AL with her dog. She called me about a week later and said, “Well, I probably won’t be driving to Gulf Shores.”

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  19. I don’t imagine many of you are still up… just came in from spending the last hour watching an amazing dance from the northern lights (in spite of that big ol’ moon). Hope some of got to enjoy them!

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