Poems

Big Lottery Why-ku

90 Comments

This is the morning after, when millions of Americans will wake up, check the unforgiving numbers, and then have to explain to their families and to themselves why they spent far too much money trying to capture over 600 million dollars in the virtually unwinnable Mega Millions lottery.

There is no good reason why, so it’s best to keep things short at least. The trusty old 5-7-5 syllable Haiku sequence efficiently boils down all human expression, including apologies.

So here are some sample Why-ku’s that you might use.

1.
I thought I could win
And surprise you with dollars
You weren’t expecting.

2.
Yes it does feel strange
To know I am a sucker.
That’s why they’re called “odds”

3.
Irrational hope
Blinded my brain for a day.
Mathematics sucks.

What’s yours?

90 thoughts on “Big Lottery Why-ku”

  1. is each one the same
    long long long shot to win big?
    may as well try huh?

    how would i spend it?
    wine women and song sound good
    before acting foolishly

    lets see.. half billion
    ought to allow me to splurge
    masserati dreams

    mamma done told me
    when i was a little boy
    aint no free lunch son

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  2. how many lottos
    the answer my friend blowing
    paycheck in the wind

    1.3 million
    hourly lotto sales new york
    american dream

    50 trys no go
    not one damn winning ticket
    hate when that happens

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  4. It’s official. There were three winning tickets in Friday night’s Mega Millions drawing, purchased in Kansas, Illinois, and Maryland. 3 tickets matched 5 numbers with the Megaplier to win $1 million, and 158 tickets matched five numbers to win $250,000, including four in Minnesota.

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    1. I’m kind of glad no one won the humongously big jackpot…
      I seriously doubt someone would be made happy by THAT much money!

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  5. So I blew the kid’s
    College fund. Tough! College is
    For snobs, anyway.

    When you married me,
    You said, “for better or worse”.
    Well, today is worse.

    What else would we buy?
    Food? Gas? That’s your problem. You
    Always think too small.

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  10. If the 1 percent
    Would share just some of their loot
    Lottery could go

    Milk seemed more pressing
    Than ticket or fantasy
    Will adjust my dreams

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  11. In the words of Kander and Ebb who wrote the musical Cabaret (one of my favorites)

    Money Money Mon
    ey Money Money Money
    Money Money Mon

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  19. Oh, crap. I knew it.
    I never win anything.
    What was I thinking?

    What was the number?
    That gambling hotline number.
    That’s the one I need.

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    3. Seeing this tape reminds me of a funny woman Garrison used to have on his show a lot, Stevie Beck, Queen of the Autoharp. That would have been in the 1980s. Emmylou Harris was a guest on one of those shows. I remember Stevie Beck telling the audience, “Well, I’ve been sitting in the green room with Emmylou Harris . . . trying to suck in my thighs.” While the audience was laughing she went on: “When the Good Lord was passing stuff around, why did some people have to get it ALL?”

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      1. Did any of you know Stevie? She was my autoharp teacher for a few years, a wonderful instructor, a warm and generous person. And funny! That sounds like her, not only to think that, but to say it on national radio 🙂

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        1. I’ll bet you really enjoyed her, Robin. You could tell from the personality she projected on-stage that she was a fine person. I fear nobody will see these posts. We may have to repeat them sometime!

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        2. Yes I did! She was talented, but modest, a musician who made complicated look so effortless. And she had a droll sense of humor. Some of my lessons, we ended up talking more than playing music.

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        3. she was my guitar repair person at the homestead picking parlor for a couple of years then one year at the library foundatrions after the authors presentation event they had richard dworsky, pat donnahue, peter ostrushko and someone else of recognizable note and i asked who the heck was setting all this up and it was stevie. she said her favors were shot and somebody else had to take it the next year. i got it and it wasnt nearly as full of notable names

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        4. Yes, she held things together for guest performers for years on PHC as well as performing herself. One of those unsung heroes.

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        5. I knew her too. I loved Stevie’s droll sense of humor. She had a nice quiet way about her, and she was always supportive of other musicians. Don’t know is she is still around. Dale, do you know?

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  22. ot. heard this guy in dribs and drabs on bob edwards this week on xm radio . he has some interesting perspective on community living ideas. may be worth incorporating into the end of the trail rest home -community. i like some of his ideas on the idea of living with restraunts theater community and social life outside your door. i think this works for couples ala baboons in the same way as it does for singles. wish i could link to the interview. it was interesting.

    Humans have a natural desire to live with others, not alone. But Eric Klinenberg argues that during the past half century, our species has undergone a remarkable social experiment. For the first time in all of human history, vast numbers of people are living alone. In 1950, only 22 percent of Americans were single. Today, more than 50 percent are unmarried and 31 million adults live alone. Klinenberg explores what this means for our society in his new book Going Solo.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/01/eric_klinenberg_s_going_solo_the_extraordinary_rise_and_surprising_appeal_of_living_alone_are_women_better_at_living_alone_.html

    http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Eric-Klinenberg-on-Going-Solo.html

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    1. tim, I have lived alone for most of my adult life. I lived with friends at first, but soon found my own place and I’m very comfortable living alone. I was thinking about my apparent need for large doses of solitude because I’m aware that most people are not this way and that I consider it normal (for me). Last week was stressful for me both at work and at home and yesterday I felt like I was rejuvenating my spirit by spending time by myself. That said, I sometimes long for human companionship but I most enjoy meaningful conversations with small groups of people. I prefer to take in cultural activities (theater, concerts, museums, etc.) with others. Rock Bend is a good example of an activity that charges my creativity but exhausts my spirit. I tend to be quiet for weeks after Rock Bend.

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      2. I think I’d enjoy living communally as a senior. It would be fun to have others around to do things with and to share expenses, work, meals, etc. Sorry for my earlier self-centered blurb.

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        1. I don’t think you need to apologize for your post, Krista, at all. As an introvert in a family of (mostly) introverts, I COMPLETELY understand your choice. An introvert shouldn’t feel she has to apologize for liking or even preferring her own company and never being bored. Of course, even introverts can fall prey to over committing themselves and then regretting it. We have to build enough down time into our weeks so as not to feel claustrophobic or run away from home. 🙂 Extroverts don’t get it that you might rather stay home with a book or writing or knitting than go dancing at a bar or hang out with 400,000 people at the State Fair, or play cards. No one should be characterized as reclusive or antisocial for wanting to be alone and noodle around with their own projects. And I definitely see that characterization in society at large — extrovert qualities are “positive” or strong and introvert qualities are “negative” or somehow inadequate. Somehow introverts are put in the position of justifying being themselves. How did that happen? My two cents worth. 🙂 PS I also see your point of maybe choosing communal living after retirement, especially when mobility becomes an issue, because then one is less able to seek out company. Being an introvert doesn’t mean being a hermit. Just give us our space 🙂

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    2. Statistics can be misleading – the article says that 28% of households are single-occupant, and seems to imply that 28% of people are choosing not to marry. But it is just a snapshot in time – if everyone in the country got married, but spent approximately 28% of their lives living alone before or after their marriage, that also gets you to a similar statistical result.

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      1. the discussion i heard (i was preoccupied and heard bits and pieces ) was about the idea that in europe they have houses where singles 40 and over (not 65) can live in a communal sense have a movie and a card game in the common area, meals cooked for them ( we’d need a community kitchen) and a group to pay attention to when lou and peter berryman are playing and give the others notice as to events of interest.goats and gardens were not mentioned but were certainly in mind when considering a baboonery. red wing is conducive to goats but not so much for guthrie and russian museum of art field trips

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      1. On April Fools Day
        I had my first full day of
        “Wedded Bliss” tee hee

        (For those of you not part of the book club, it might be useful to note here that my last name is Bliss…)

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    2. anniversary
      wishes to you and to Tom
      to twelve and beyond

      (these haiku aren’t formatted when they come through as emails. I have to count syllables each time to see if that was the writer’s intent)

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    4. Thanks all for the anniversary wishes – he’s been a good guy to have around. Handy for things like reaching for tall things and opening jars. 🙂

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    1. My immediate supervisor is quite OCD and fussy. She is starting a 3 week trip that involves retracing the voyage of the Titanic. She often checks in to her E mail, even on holiday, and I have decided to send her weekly “updates” of goings on in our department. They will be quite fantastical, and, in the past when I have done this I have fooled her briefly to think they are true. This week’s tale involves a fundraiser for a lost IQ test kit, a fundraiser that goes quite awry and starts a range fire, something that is quite possible out here right now. The heck with one day of pranks! I am going to have three weeks of them.

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  26. Did anyone go to see Lou and Peter Berryman in Austin Friday night? I would have liked to, but events conspired to prevent it. Bet it was a fun one.

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  28. Pingback: Ask Dr. Babooner | Trail Baboon

  29. Someone’s gotta win
    No matter what are the odds
    Might as well be me.

    Nice collection of haiku, babooners!
    OT: Gotta run, grand-daughters calling! 🙂

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