Car Cover

A freshly assembled and somewhat opportunistic e-mail arrived with the warm spring temperatures and the fresh, healthy weeds sprouting from my lawn.

It’s Spring! And that means it’s time to buy a new car from Wally’s Intimida – Home of the Sherpa!

Hi, Wally here. There’s nothing that’s quite as exciting to me as a new car – especially when it comes from my store and winds up parked in your driveway, or behind your house, or in the case of the Sherpa, around your house, actually STRADDLING the structure!

Yes, that’s right! The Sherpa is the biggest car on the road today – big enough to park over the house so you get the extra measure of protection that only a 100 thousand pound car can give you! And in this time of unpredictable climate change featuring widespread and indiscriminate tornados and tsunamis, that’s an extra measure of comfort you can’t afford to be without!

You may have seen the video of a tornado throwing around tractor-trailers in Dallas. That’s a very bad thing, but no tornado would DARE do that to an Intimida Sherpa. The Sherpa is aggressively massive and distinctly aerodynamic, unlike a semi. A tornado may try to pick it up, but getting a grip on the Sherpa is like trying to grab a wet bar of soap from the shower floor. An incredibly heavy wet bar of soap! And underneath that stubborn soap sits your house, all snug and protected! Isn’t that worth having a few random drops of oil in your roof? Consider it part of the price you pay for peace of mind!

Our parents had dreams for us, and for many those dreams simply won’t come true. What did they want us to have? Good jobs and loving families, of course. But also they wanted us to have nice cars and secure dwellings. Sadly, many people lack even those basics.

Yes, times are still tough, but a fresh wind is blowing. It could be your local tornado. It could be the exhaust from a new Sherpa. Or it could be that people are starting to buy homes and cars again and here at Wally’s Intimida, we don’t want to be left out. That’s why all our Sherpas have to do double duty!

Some have a beautiful dream of a nice little house with a carport. I’m suggesting you make your great big car your houseport! Come on down to Wally’s Intimida today and let’s talk about protecting your abode with a topper from the road – a Sheltering Sherpa from Intimida.

It’s a mighty big, mighty hard-to-pick-up car!

Yours in Security,

Wally

You have to admire the agility of Wally’s pitch, even though pushing the windstorm security aspects of the heavyweight Sherpa on the heels of a major tornado is a bit tacky. Ok, it’s EXTREMELY tacky.

Where do you go when it’s time to take cover?

68 thoughts on “Car Cover”

  1. Nice to hear from Wally. Has intimida thought about marketing the houses too? I think the Sherpa shack has some real possibilities
    A huge potential in north Dakota oil fields. The truck the house the retail store. Line em up like a strip mall. Nail salon subway dry cleaner caribou. Location locatio location wherever you want wherever you want wherever you want

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    1. You could market the Sherpa Shack as a house on the Sherpa, thus allowing us to drive the Shack to the location in N. Dak where housing is needed!

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  2. I’ve always thought of my self as a pitcher, so I cover first on a grounder to the right side.
    Will there be any cover charges?
    Where does Congressman Beechly go? If we don not know, is that a cover cover-up?
    I’m not telling where I go; so I have a covert cover?
    Since our building has no basement, I covet your cover.
    I guess our cover will be under our table, so its a four-leaf cover.
    Judging by his statement on the economy, Wally is trying to sell us a re-cover.

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  3. Rise and Shine
    or
    Rise and Run for the basement
    Baboons!

    I take cover in the basement after a storied tradition of growing up among Iowa tornadoes.

    Meanwhile, OT #1:
    I also have difficulty posting. Word Press constantly asks for my Password. The only reason I can post is because I can remember the P-word. MIG is one of the blogges unable to post at alll, I think.

    #2
    Yesterday several of you asked how the dogs are getting along after getting the new puppy. Lucky, the whirlwind does not seem to notice that Bootsy is rather irritated and at times growling at her. Bootsy is really upset, but she will also allow Lucky into her favorite chair with her. Bootsy shakes around other dogs, and that is reducing a lot (one of the primary reasons to have a 2nd dog). We rolled up every area rug we have because the puppy does not always hit the pee pads and has regressed on housetraining a bit from the reported perfect house training in foster care (and is as I type, licking the bottom of my feet). Bootsy has also regressed with this. But it has only been a week.

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    1. I gather reading in Support on WordPress, people’s problems may lie with their Web Browser. I suppose in security settings. WP does recommend Firefox or Chrome instead of Exlporer, but that may be the general wise anti-Bill Gates sentiment.

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    2. WordPress made some sort of change, maybe in its login cookie, on or about March 19th. The browser you are using doesn’t really matter, except that you can set your browser to remember your login info, if you always use the same computer and it is not a shared computer. If WordPress doesn’t recognize your e-mail address as having a WordPress account or a gravatar associated with it, it won’t bother you about it. You can post freely using a phony e-mail address, and you’ll be assigned a quilt block gravatar symbol. You just can’t use the notify of followup option if it’s not a real e-mail address.

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  4. As I already live in a basement, I’ll probably head to the bathroom. There are no windows and it’s the 2nd most inner part of my apartment (other than the storage room that also has two hot-water heaters). I don’t think tornadoes are too common up here though.

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    1. You are more comfortable waiting out the storm but if the roof is coming off I’d rather hang onto a water heater than a shower curtain

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  5. Although we have lots of wind, we rarely have wind storms. We head for the basement on the rare occasion that the sirens blow. Next year we are moving into brand new work building, one with no basement. Taking cover will be interesting. I won’t be on the trail much today, as I have to leave in a little while to drive 80 miles southwest to testify in court. I hope there aren’t too many Sherpas on the road.

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  6. We have no basements or storm cellars in South Florida, what with it being a former swamp and all. So when something nasty is brewing, like a hurricane, we put the storm shutters on the windows and stay in the center room of our house, which is our living room. As long as we don’t lose the roof, it’s all good!

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    1. doubleyooteeff, you can get some of the charm of the Sherpa ads from Dale’s post but it’s unfortunate that you didn’t get to hear them as delivered by our dearly departed Jim Ed Poole. The words, the voice, the music: priceless.

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  7. The Sherpa is sure one big truck
    When your life’s in a mess and it sucks
    Get in behind the wheel
    Invigorated you’ll feel
    As the rest of the world runs amuck

    Wally he can deliver it to ya
    It will make pure machismo run through ya
    I got mine you find yours
    It’s summed up in 4 doors
    Tree huggers desist I say screw ya

    A person reflects in their car
    A great deal about who they are
    Your selection will show
    Much more than you know
    Give me a beer a babe and a cigar

    You can drive your pc roller skate
    To st Pete at that big pearly gate
    When you become a grease spot
    In the worlds parking lot
    Where the Sherpa your life did deflate

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  8. Good morning to all. There was a guy on a local radio station who would drive around the area to try to find the tornado when one was coming our way. We are always tempted to take a look out side when we hear that one might be in the area. If it looks bad we do go to the basement.

    There have been some bad ones in our area in recent years including one that killed a person living in a trailer home. I saw one that was small and far away. That one did very little damage. I took shelter for a little while in a nearby potato storeage building built into the side of a hill.

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    1. Reading through since I’ve been off the trail and with my grand babies in Duluth for most of this week…
      I’m one of those who head for my vehicle when the weather moves in. I became a trained weather spotter after the 1998 tornado moved through my neighborhood (St Peter). I was always so fascinated by storms and decided, if I’m going to be standing around outside watching, I may as well be useful. It also helps that I now have a pretty thorough understanding of how storms behave and move. They say this could be a pretty active year but I’ve learned “they” are wrong as often as not.

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  9. The one time a tornado came near our house in S Mpls, I was standing out on the front porch with my big brother watching the weather. Probably not the best place to be. In the 80s there was a twister that skipped over Lake Harriet, danced through Lakewood Cemetery and the bird sanctuary between the lake and the cemetery, took the roof off a nearby park and toppled a couple of trees on our block. Didn’t realize we were watching tornado activity (we were a few blocks away from the path) until my mom called and asked if my brother and I were in the basement because there was a tornado nearby. Um, yeah. Think that’s gone by Mom…(I had gone in to turn on the radio to get a weather report to see what was up when Mom called because the sky was that weird green and it was quite gusty – found out why about 5 minutes after the event, hearing it on the radio about they time I was talking to my very worried mother.)

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        1. I figured that was what you meant. I just got this picture in my mind of a park with a roof over it and had to tease you about it…

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        2. I grew up (and still live) in SW Minneapolis, and anything is possible these days in that neck of the woods. There is a certain portion of the population that is far too concerned about protecting and promoting their progeny, regardless of how it might affect others or their own kid’s overall well-being, but a roof on a park…well, that just might go beyond what even the most zealous organics-only-no-refined-sugars-anti-bacterial-everything-BPA-free-dirt-free-unsupervised-play-free-mommy-and-me-yoga-and-music-class-attending parents in the neighborhood. But only just barely. πŸ™‚

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  10. On my first bike ride, after fixing my fourth flat in 8 days, I rode by three houses that have suddenly sold after being on the market for months. Wally must be right.

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  11. the wind whirls around
    houses and trees flung wildly
    my Sherpa saves me

    I’m not originally from these here parts so I don’t think I respect tornadoes as I should. I have been known to go to the basement when the sirens go but, often as not, I stick around upstairs thinking I’ll be able to tell when there’s real danger.
    I few years ago, a tornado stripped huge trees and roofs along Portland Ave. Closest damage of which I’m aware was 4 blocks away. It happened on a Wednesday and when the alarm went off, I thought, “oh, it’s the Wednesday alarm test” even though it was closer to 4:00 then the usual 1:00. Just oblivious. A friend kitty-corner from a damaged house was washing dishes. He DID go to the basement and when he came back upstairs, all the water had been blown out of his sink.

    I now preemptively log into WordPress because I know it’s likely to be fussy. My oddity for today is that Dale’s post didn’t appear in my email box. I had to come looking for it.

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  12. With the advent of ‘officially’ warm weather, I’ve put my turtlenecks away and pulled out my summer car. But much to Wally’s chagrin, I’m sure, my mid-life crisis mobile is a small 2-seat convertible. Good mileage, fun to drive, not enough horsepower to get me into trouble, was relatively cheap to buy and insure, shouldn’t need much maintenance… Sorry Wally, I’ll take my little Del Sol.

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  13. Afternoon.

    Bad weather? I’m standing outside watching the wind blow. or hurrying to put tractors or cars away and shut the shed doors. As long as my head doesn’t get wet I’m OK… hate getting my head wet; Gotta have a hat.

    It’s another ‘Staff Day’ here with meetings all day. I’m on lunch break.

    And getting ready to open a show so I haven’t had much to say lately…
    But I’m watching!

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  14. I just used a bread knife–first time in 6 months.
    I park in a common garage for our building which does not provide a lot of room and is full of pillars. The space behind me is rented by a man who sells cars; nice young guy right across the hall from me. Every night he brings home a different pickup, always oversized, 3/4 ton, extended cab. Clearly he does not want to get near the post or the wall, so the pickup sticks way out into the common space through which I have to turn into my space. Good thing I drive a very small car. I think of the Sherpa almost every day because of him.

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  15. It’s another good day to work out side and get the spring gardening season off to a good start. All we have is good weather lately, but I’m sure we will have some that will cause us to go to the basement some time before long. Extremes in weather seem to be the rule these days. I like the extremely good weather we are having right now and I won’t be spending much time at this computer today.

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  16. Everybody outside! Some days demand that you leave the Internet behind! When you get back, Jim, tell us a little bit about what you’re doing in the garden!

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    1. Why doesn’t Dale come in as the blogmaster like he usually does?
      You are right, Dale. We should have been outside. My wife wanted to see “Mirror, Mirror.” We should have stayed out of the theater.

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  17. Wait, you can’t all go outside and leave me here! Oh, I forgot, some of you work and can’t just get up and leave. Phew, Dale had me worried there for a minute.

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    1. PJ lol.

      I’m inside on a break from gardening and heading back out. Onions, chives, thyme, asparagus, lettuce sprouting. Strawberries and Egyptian onions have escaped their boundaries and are headed for world takeover.

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  18. 4/4 game day late note I’ll be there
    These dates were meant to discourage having to ask so we will see

    I have looked for culverts going in the freeway structure where the go beneath the concrete when on the road in tornados I try to get a feel for how far from one culvert to the next so I can hunker down if needed

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  19. My son was out on his third floor deck enjoying the lovely weather today, when his tortoiseshell cat, indignant that she is not allowed out to enjoy the sun and maybe take a flying leap off the deck, locked him out of the apartment by jumping up by the sliding door and flipping the latch. He had to stay out there for a while until his wife got home from work. It wasn’t too long. He thought it was pretty funny.

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  20. Home.

    I never could embed.

    Home is where I go for cover. Any time anything feels rough, rocky, scary in any way. I run for home.

    It’s been a wild ride lately and I’m home.

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  21. I did spend the better part of the day out in the garden and did a lot of planting of early spring stuff including carrots, mustard, parsely, coriander, leeks, and shallots. Some very early planted arugula and mizuna is already up. We are picking spinach that was planted last fall in a cold frame and the asparagus bed has started producing. Some lettuce seed that would not germinate when it was planted last summer decided to come up this spring very early and might have some small leaves that can be picked in a couple of weeks. There’s your report, Dale.

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    1. I want to plant leeks just because I like the idea of a food called a “leek.” Plus they’re yummy. But I’d be the only one in my house to eat them – Husband can’t (they’re in the verboten onion family), and Daughter won’t (she’s deep into a “no food with unfamiliar flavors” stage). Sigh. Leeks – it’s sort of a silly food word, which is part of why I find them so charming.

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      1. check out the book “why french women dont get fat” or something like that. they have a leek soup for the weekend that is like a cleansing program that sounds interesting

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