Best of All Possible Worlds

It’s bound to be a very political day today. Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing all the water surface area in Minnesota, is getting out ahead of the conversation with this latest newsletter to his people.

Congressman Beechly believes in Floater ID

Greetings, Constituents!

I wanted to be sure you heard from me today, since Congress is about to take a 10 day break and at the very same time the Supreme Court is set to drop a decision bomb about health care that will feed the political chatter machine for the next four months at least!

People are wondering what effect the court’s decision will have on the various contenders for election in the fall. No doubt that jubilant winners will be declared and sorry, miserable losers identified. And as a resident of the 9th District, you have a right to know – what kind of Congressman do I have?

My approach to the health care issue has been consistent throughout the many years it has been debated in Washington. I’m in favor of the thing that most people want to do at the moment.

At the time I’m writing this message to you, I do not know how the court will decide. But regardless, I have only one reaction – I Told You So.

That’s right. At one time or another, I told you so because I have been careful to take every possible position on this issue.

  • I think everybody deserves quality health care.
  • I don’t think people should be forced to buy insurance.
  • I don’t think taxes should go up.
  • I don’t believe in a government “takeover” of the health care system,
  • I don’t know what that means.
  • I don’t like government, except for the good things it does. The rest is waste and should be eliminated so my taxes can drop – especially the expenditures that help other people.
  • But I don’t want to live in Dickens’ England. I’m against people dying in the street, or even in alleys, especially if I happen to walk past them.
  • Doctors should be paid fairly.
  • Care for the children, they’re innocent!
  • Keep keep those death panels out of the room while I’m talking to my doctor, especially if she starts to give me her favorite investment or golf tips. That’s private, privileged information, and nobody has any business snooping!

I hope that’s clear enough so that when I come back for my visit you can congratulate me for being on the right side of this issue and we can get on with the real business of a Congressional holiday – fundraising and marching in parades!

I hear walking is good aerobic exercise – better than spending all your time in doctors’ offices, that’s for sure. So look for me, 9th districters. I’m coming to a boat launch near you!

Your Congressman (and always a winner!),

Loomis Beechly

Rep. Beechly is trying to have it all, and who can blame him? Everybody wants to be a winner – it’s good for your health!

When have you said “I Told You So”?

60 thoughts on “Best of All Possible Worlds”

  1. John Louis Anderson says the preferred habitat of us German-Americans is the moral high ground. So I say it every chance I get. And at our age Sandy and I cannot remember anything we each say, much less what the other says, which leaves ample opportunity.

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    1. Richard Simon Hanson of Luther College fame once said in a lecture that different cultures all have their “be” statements. Most of us grew up with “Be good” or “be smart”-the German American, he maintained, grew up with “be right”. For a Norwegian-American, he was spot on with that one. There is nothing worse in my family than being wrong. If someone is obviously wrong, the worst thing you can do is point it out. Decency dictates that you just let the subject drop and no more is said about it.

      We don’t use “I told you so”. but the simple knowing look? hate that.

      I used to need to point out where I was right all the time. I’m trying to give that up because I hate so much finding out later I was really wrong.

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      1. My husband comes from a Norwegian family from Decorah. Be good was big with them, but he also says the family motto was, “Don’t be too happy. It will end.” Did I mention a lot of them are depressed?

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        1. Being happy is prideful – a sure indicator that you have something someone else does not. And one should never be prideful.

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        2. Being happy is just downright irresponsible. If you were really considering all the things that can and most likely will go wrong unless you are constantly vigilant, you would know better than to be something as pie-in-the-sky as “happy”.

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  2. Good morning. Well, I’m not German-American and I also prefer the moral high ground. If I have ever uttered an “I told you so” I will deny it. It is hard to stay on the moral high ground when you tell people “I told you so”. Recalling any times that you might have slipped up and made one of these utterances will take you farther off the moral high ground and can create a bad situation. Beechly better be careful.

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  3. Rise and Gloat Baboons!

    I said “I told you so” when George W. Bush turned out to be a disaster of poor judgement for 8 years. We are still paying for his lack of judgement.

    Hmph.

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      1. Ironically, Jacque, GWB was nothing if not RESOLUTE in his lack of judgment 🙂 Deliver us from those who “be right” because they’ll never give an inch.

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  4. Does a cluck of the tongue, a shake of the head and “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” mean the same thing? And is it a bad thing to do?

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    1. I raise my eyebrows and tilt my head slightly – accompanied by a slight smile. The teenager recognizes this look as my “I told you so”.

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  5. Rep. Beechley–Having been raised overseas, I was raised with “be NOT an Ugly American”. When you’re an outsider, it behooves one to be accommodating to the host culture. The up side is that one might learn a thing or two. The down side is that one sees so many sides to an issue that it can be difficult to come down resolutely in one camp or another. As you so clearly demonstrate, there is ALWAYS another side–an ethical polyhedron, so to speak. 🙂

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  6. Rep. Beechley, you could get into trouble even if you claim you were always on the side that will benefit from what is decided by the court. It might be best to keep your mouth shut. You know what I mean, refusing to say anything is a well know trick of politicians and might keep you out of trouble. If you say something and do get into trouble, I will try to keep my mouth shut and not remind about my advice.

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    1. Yes! Better get on the road early before you melt into a puddle. You’re like the energizer bunny, Clyde! 40,000 miles and still riding. . .

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  7. I strictly try to avoid “I told you so” and feel sorry for people who are compelled to say those words. Doing so is stupid and self-defeating. If I go about honking “I’m right,” others will resent it and look for occasions I’m wrong (and, god knows, they’ll find ’em!). If I make no such claims but others come to find my opinions reliable, they’ll say so. A good reputation is worth SO much more than a good boast!

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  8. Wasband was of Russian stock, and I’ve never in all my life , never in all my born days,met anyone that had as big a need to be right as he did. But he was also a brilliant arguer (?), and could convince you that No, it wasn’t that he had to be constantly right… I can’t remember how it went now, but it was very frustrating. I don’t think I said “I told you so” the one time I got to be right, but I’m sure I gave him The Look that mig mentioned above.

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    1. I most definitely thought the opposite, but only told my wife who has promised to forget I told her.

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    2. I had fervently hoped that reason would prevail, but considering the current Supreme Court I had my doubts that it would. Drawing a huge sigh of relief.

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    3. I’m simply thrilled with this outcome!!!! I couldn’t sleep earlier this AM because I was worried that I’d oversleep and miss the live coverage. I’ve been waiting for four years for this moment, after all. Life, however, through me a curve ball: my cable TV reception went blank just five minutes before the announcement (it returned at 9:15), forcing me to call my brother for help in figuring out how to find news on the radio! What a great day for Americans!!!

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  9. I prefer the more Minnesotan, “do you understand, now, why I suggested/said/told you that?” Which gets pulled out sparingly, but has come out at work, at the scene shops I’ve worked at, with Daughter…I only use “I told you so” with Husband, and then almost always when he has once again underestimated how long a project will take (I have learned to double whatever time estimate he gives me – he’s a dear man but his grasp of time is sketchy at best).

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  10. The question today gives me another excuse for trotting out one of my hobbyhorse beliefs. When I was actively parenting, I had an odd belief: never give your child advice when the kid already knows what you are going to say. Or if you must say something predictable, try to say it in an unpredictable way. The more unasked-for advice we give, the less attention our kids listen to us. The more we “sound like parents,” the quicker we wear out any receptivity that might have been there. It is a delicate dance that is much harder than I’m making it sound here, but I truly tried to be fresh, loving and a bit unpredictable. And as I often say, since my one kid turned out to be so wonderful, I must be an expert. 🙂

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    1. I could have told you so if you had asked 🙂 How lovely to be able to take some credit for a wonderful child, Steve! So many baboon children seem to be above average. Certainly well loved.

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      1. I could joke about this, Robin, as I am always tempted to do. But I couldn’t be more proud of my daughter. And I hope I’m too wise to claim credit for her, or her spectacular child! Old age has presented me with arthritis plus a daughter and grandson who are beyond cool. Not a bad tradeoff, all in all.

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  11. i told you the tea party would be the straw that broke the camels back on the reasonable persons tolerance level. they may not be dfls but now they cant be gops either. imagine that. deal with it from a reasonable point of view instead of from a mandate.

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  12. Is everybody still voting for MiniDonut Ice Cream? I figured out that I can vote twice a day, once from the work computer and once fromt he home computer. Hope that’s not considered cheating!

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    1. I don’t think so, it’s merely making up for my vote. I have yet to be successful in getting my vote registered. When I push the VOTE button the arrows spin around endlessly and nothing happens.

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    2. Excess is always appreciated when it comes to ice cream voting. You can also vote on Facebook by liking Kemps Cows.

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  13. Does it count if you tell it to yourself? I told myself this yesterday when I arrived home after work and found my apartment burgled. I told myself I should have closed the windows earlier in the week, but it needed to dry after being flooded last week. Oh well. They’re only things, right?

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    1. It’s so unfair, Alanna. And it depends – there are things, and then there are things. Hope they didn’t take all the good things.

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  14. alanna if you dont tell yourself after that one i would be worried about you. after so many moves recently i hope you had the treasures stashed at your parents house. that ferocious watchdog didnt scare them off?

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    1. They got all of my good electronics, most of my jewelry (though why they would want it…), my old computer, and my external hard drive. I was flooded out on the 20th, so Kai and I have been staying at my co-worker’s house. The people who were ripping out the soggy carpet left the windows open to dry out the apartment.

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  15. HI Barbara in Robbinsdale!!!!! I have been a Dale Connelly fan since the summer of 1982 when he began the Morning Show in MN Pub Radio! I am so glad for the TRAIL BABOON and its many baby baboons who comment!

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