The Baboon Congress

Unnatural Disaster

83 Comments

Today’s guest post comes from Edith.

The other day I was having a laid back day at home, alone except for the dog and cat. At lunchtime I was just a little hungry, so I made some popcorn with my new Whirley-Pop® stovetop popcorn pan that I had recently acquired from Aldi. Three minutes on the stove and I could enjoy perfect popcorn, lightly salted, with a sprinkle of brewer’s yeast for nutrition. Easy. Turn off the stove burner and munch away.

Delicious!

The hot drink I had made earlier was now cold so I reheated it in the microwave, which is above the stove. I keep a plastic “splatter cover” in the microwave to use when reheating food on plates—to keep the heating food from spattering all over the microwave. Since I didn’t need it for this, I set it on the counter directly to the left of the burner I had used for making popcorn.

Then it was upstairs with my drink to check email and the Trail. As usual, I got distracted by the internet and was at the computer for a good while, blissfully unaware of my surroundings. Then I heard the smoke alarm going off! Good grief! What on earth???

Whenever the smoke alarm goes off, the dog freaks out and demands to go outside away from that terrible noise (she will then lie down by the back gate, as far away from that horrible sound as she can get, and refuse to come back indoors for hours). So as I rushed madly downstairs to see what was causing the smoke alarm to go off, the dog was rushing down even more madly, desperate to get out of this house. The cat, meanwhile, was rushing madly upstairs to get away from the noise and from those two idiotic creatures (the dog and I) who were making as much noise as a herd of elephants and acting as rationally as a couple of chickens with their heads cut off.

As I ran past the kitchen, I noticed flames…and a terrible smell. After letting the dog out, I grabbed a broom to use to shut off the alarm. Naturally the hook system from which the broom was hanging chose that moment to be stubborn and not easily give up possession of the broom. After a little tussle, I separated them—hooks crashing to the floor—pounded on the off button with the broom handle—oh, blissful silence—and within seconds was in the kitchen to confront the fire.

The plastic cover I had placed on the counter was burning. Obviously, I had not turned off the burner…not to mention, the plastic cover was a little too close to that burner. First thing to do was put the fire out. So after turning off the burner, I immediately picked up the plastic object where the flames hadn’t reached yet and brought it over to the sink to douse with water. Big mistake. I obviously didn’t realize that even if I didn’t actually touch the flames, that it was still extremely hot.

Burning hot, in fact. Owie!

Cool water running over my hands. Then plastic cover dumped on the back porch. Windows opened. Fan in the attic window blowing out so fresh air will come in. Everything’s all better…but, wait, what are those blisters on my fingers? And why do they feel like they are on fire?

When have you made a disaster out of something simple?

83 thoughts on “Unnatural Disaster”

  1. Morning all – great story, Edith. I have several of these kinds of stories… I’ll have to think up which one I like best today.

    Sorry I was so grouchy yesterday and didn’t stay on the Trail last night. I knew you all were out there but yesterday was just awful for me. The fear that I was feeling about how the presidential and amendment issues was so palpable that I could hardly think straight. I don’t ever remember feeling quite this stressed before by an election. And since it was on everyone’s mind yesterday I felt like I couldn’t escape; I was afraid that if the election weren’t called by the time I went to bed that I woudn’t be able to sleep from anxiety. so I didn’t even want to think about it. The teenager knew I was bothered and at about 11:00 last night came in as I was finally dozing off and whispered “Mom, he won.” so I could sleep easily. (This is the same teenager who painted her fingernails blue before she went to school yesterday!) And I’m very happy to wake up to an amendment-free Minnesota. I read through last night’s Comments – glad you all could be there for each other!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Given how vulnerable you were to feeling bad about the election, you were VERY lucky that things went as beautifully as they did last night. I’m touched by the teenager’s consideration. If you don’t mind my saying so, you might want to reflect a lot about your mood last night. We often get in situations where we can’t control the outcome, so we are reduced to controlling our reactions to it. I hope for your sake that you aren’t as vulnerable when the next election comes along, because you and I aren’t likely to experience such a wonderful night again. Those amendment votes . . . what a joy!

      Like

      Reply

      1. I love that you get grouchy when things get tense on the trail. We are here to talk you down. Trust in the trail. The two no’s wound up closer than I thought. I was proud of the 60/40 we started with and didn’t realize out state would cut into it so severely. I believed nate silver and laughed at the fox meltdown as reality hit. I actually watched fox in pre prime time election day coverage and enjoyed watching them talk like they had an inkling of what was to come.

        Like

        Reply

    2. Early on I had decided to avoid the coverage and the speculation, go to bed early, and get the good/bad news this morning after a decent night’s sleep. I did reconsider my decision when, after filling in my ballot, I got one of my rare but powerful intuitions saying we were going to win. My roommate was having acid stomach, she was so nervous, so I figured it’d be better to not even turn on the TV. I ended up reading an oral history of American folk music revivals (who knew there was a Navajo protest punk band?) instead, and woke up to delightful news not only here in Minnesota but across the country.

      Like

      Reply

      1. That’s how I am too… rather just get the bad news/good news when it’s final and then deal with it, rather than hash over it too much ahead of time. I was reading a biography of George Washington last night and the author described Washington’s first bid for a pubic office (he lost resoundly). In those days, you came forward and called out your vote out loud in front of everyone and some clerk noted it down. Talk about pressure!

        Like

        Reply

      3. Forgive me for my compulsion to educate whenever “acid reflux” pops up, but we live in a nation that douses this problem with TUMs, Prilosec, and other drugs and I’ve learned the hardest way possible that this can be the earliest alarm for esophageal cancer. Meds just mask an underlying and potentially dangerous problem. I’ve come to believe that endoscopies should be as routine as colonoscopies, and that everyone who’s endured frequent acid reflux should be scoped immediately!!! Sorry.

        Like

        Reply

        1. Don’t be sorry, Cb, raised awareness never hurts. How did your tests go? I imagine you won’t know the results for a few days.

          Like

  3. What a great story, Edith. It reminds me of the famous “This American Life” segment on “fiascoes.”

    And I smoked my microwave once when I managed to set fire to an oven glove that I had in the oven. Why was I microwaving my oven mitt? I don’t remember any more. It was something that made sense to me at the time.

    Like

    Reply

      1. Burning plastic is not any better, I’m sure. I guess I’m lucky that it wasn’t a cold winter day so that opening the windows and turning on the window fan didn’t make it unbearably cold in here. The smell was unbearable.

        Like

        Reply

  4. Good morning. I’ve also been know to forget to turn off burners on the stove, Edith. I don’t remember catching anything on fire. There has been a fairly long string of pots and pans that ended up with some back deposits in them because a burner was left on under them. I think I completely ruined one pot. Then there was the attempt to steam some vegetables without putting any water in the steamer. That wasn’t good for the pot used or the vegetables.

    Also, I have a history of starting the coffee maker without setting it up properly. Your coffee does not end up where you want it when you don’t put the coffee pot into the place where it should be located and you do need to put water in a coffee maker before you push the button to start the brewing process.

    The elections turned out very good, for the most part, except that MB won, but what would we do if we didn’t have MB to entertain us?

    Like

    Reply

  5. Heidi Heidtkamp won the ND senate race, but there will be a recount as it is so close. I am the asssembler in my family. I NEVER have trouble putting things together. (Husband has real trouble reading diagrams and ends up doing the steps backward and upside down.) I purchased a fish tank stand sometime ago, one made of wood-like material, all the holes precut, with strange looking screws and fasteners and gromits (what are gromits, anyway?), presumably a snap to assemble. Well, something was a little off, probably my fault, and I couldn’t get the stupid sides and front and back to fit together snugly and securely.I tried and tried and redid things, to no avail. Then I got mad. It got to the point I was hammering and slamming and banging the sides together to get the sides flush, and finally I had forced screws through the surface and stripped the precut holes and ended up throwing it away. It was in such bad shape there was no way I could return it to the store to get my money back.

    Like

    Reply

  6. Thanks for the funny story, Edith. The disasters that I have had in the kitchen did not snow ball the way yours did. I had some problems yesterday that did sort of snow ball. Our dog stayed in a boarding kennel over the weekend. His coat is getting kind of long and he was in need of a bath. He did not smell very good, but I didn’t find out the hair on his rear was matted until I took him for a walk. When the dog tried to poop it stuck to his bottom and I had help him by wiping his rear with a dog poop collecting bag.

    I returned home with the dog and went to get a rag to do some more wiping. When I opened the rag drawer I found another problem, there was a mouse in the rag drawer. However, all of this did not end too badly. The dog got a bath and isn’t having any more problems pooping. Also I caught the mouse in a live trap and let it go outside.

    Like

    Reply

      2. The dog is covered with poop,
        the house is filled with mice,
        and my mother in law is arriving on the train.
        What will become of me? what will become of me?

        Like

        Reply

    2. I think it was the snowball effect of this little disaster that inspired me to write about it, Jim. I’ve left burners on before, sometimes under pans, I’ve burnt potholders that I left too close to the burner, and I’ve burnt the edge of the splatter cover before, but I’ve not combined all of these absent-minded actions so spectacularly before. The painful thing (beside the burns on my fingers) is that I had consciously turned off the burner – or so I thought. It’s things like that that make me wonder if I can ever fully trust my mind again.

      Like

      Reply

      1. I’ve become very careful about setting up the coffee maker, but I still can’t manage to always turn off the burners on the stove when I should.

        Like

        Reply

        1. Yeah, I did aloe, but it didn’t keep blisters from forming. I had my fingers in cool water for several hours and that helped the pain (eventually).

          Like

  7. I think all my oven mitts are burnt, my smoke alarm goes off regularly I have another less common alarm it is the one that goes off when my septic tank is not pumping properly out in my yard. I lived here 6 years or so before I had to figure out what that was all about. 4000 dollars and an education in the art of remote septic transfer stations and their pump assemblies I now unrestrained that my job when the alarm goes off is to pull my Ed norton and crawl into the tank and jiggle the wire and kick the pipesnintilni figure out how to get it working properly before the sewage backs up into the basement rooms. I have 3 inches of warning. Amazing what 1 inch difference makes
    Last night it went off as the returns started coming in. My back is a little out of whack andnit am walking like the mummy so to see me pop the top off the manhole cover and crawl down the ladder into the area of contention was a sight to behold. A little more sludge than usual on my shirt Nd pants but thenalarm stopped the tides recessed and the election was allowed to go on. Woo hoo

    Like

    Reply

  8. There isn’t enough space in the blog reply form to describe all the disasters I’ve created out of something simple. Fortunately, the disasters are small in scale, so the house is still standing, and my wife and I are still alive and healthy.

    Chris in Owatonna

    Like

    Reply

    1. You don’t have to tell ALL of them, Chris. Don’t imagine for a second that the story I told is the only disaster I’ve created. It’s probably not even the worst.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Okay, the stupidest disaster that leaps to mind was the time I tried to rotate the tires on my 1983 Toyota Tercel. You know, save a few bucks from the service station, extend the wear on the tires, all those money saving reasons.

        But for some reason one lug nut wouldn’t cooperate no matter how hard I tried. I sprayed it with WD-40, tapped on thelug nut with a hammer, tried a longer wrench to get more leverage, etc. Nothing worked. After about an hour I got so frustrated I tried to use brute strength to loosen that sucker, put the wrench into a position where I could pull straight up on it with all my strength and body weight, thinking that was my last chance before going to the service station.

        I actually lifted that quadrant of the car completely off the ground for a split-second (Yeah, I was as surprised as anyone. I’m not an abnormally strong man.). Unfortunately, all I succeed in doing was stripping the bolt to which the lug nut was attached, shearing it off at the point where the bolt anchors into the axle.

        Of course I had to call the garage, have them come out and tow the car there (couldn’t risk driving with a broken lug nut), drill out the broken bolt, put in a new one, and THEN rotate my tires. Several hours later and $150 poorer, I had learned my lesson. I’ve never rotated my own tires since then–some 25 years now, I suppose.

        How’s that, Edith? 🙂

        Chris in Owatonna

        Like

        Reply

    1. And that’s when the problems started? I guess sometimes I feel that way myself. “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all”, right? I hope you are not the health problems today that caused you to stay in a dark room yesterday, Clyde.

      Like

      Reply

  11. I’m off to parts unknown (well, unknown to me). If I had a bucket list, I’d be crossing off three or four of the items in the next few days! I’ll try to check in every now and then but it may be weird hours. Everybody on the Trail – have a GREAT week!

    Like

    Reply

  12. I’m trying to remember something out of the many fiascos that would be worthy to tell here, but I just get this image of a lot of white flour all over everything…

    And to answer yesterday’s question: I’ll always feel a little ambivalent about my vote for Jesse the Mind, but I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for either of the other candidates.

    OT: Back home after travels to warmer climes, and WOO HOO – what a way to arrive home… love this state and many of the voters in it!

    Like

    Reply

  13. I simply can’t let this day pass without expressing my relief, delight, and sense of pride in America after last night’s elections. It affirms my belief that most Americans are decent, rational and compassionate people. The noise of hatred and fear-based folks has only grown louder in the last two years; hopefully the mandate to work together will take hold. Last night’s results reaffirm my natural optimism. It’s a great day to be an American!!!!

    Like

    Reply

      1. good point. the people of the world couldnt believe bush or w. they loved clinton and obama but could not comfortably tell you how much they dislike the bush boys until you told them convincingly first.

        Like

        Reply

    2. im just hoping the gop didnt learn too much. i heard karl rove had a fit and wanted to see the person responsible for proclaiming on fox that obama had won. i want to see a clip of that.

      Like

      Reply

        1. Thanks, Tim – what fun! I just read an article explaining that the Dems have 242 electoral votes locked-down for the last five years, then building a solid case from last night’s results that in the next election, Dems will START with 263 EVs. What this means is that all they’ll need is just one more state with 7 EVs. The hermetically-sealed bubble of denial fostered by FOX and other ideologues is increasingly bizarre. While Obama had clearly won, the right wing pollsters predicting a Romney landslide were still clinging to their very own version of an alternative universe.

          Like

        3. I get concerned when Obama and gay rights and limiting voting right win 51 to 49
          Too close and the young pups are wannabe millionaires who think no taxes is primary reason to vote. I would love to believe in a great locked in base but the others leave me in a mind muck that can’t comprehend how they get to their conclusion so I don’t know how to help fox following suburbanite iron rangers and Kansas farmers . Hope you turn put to be right but their brains are little disasters I have a real hard time with

          Like

  14. edith. it’s a rule that you must spend 5-10 dollars and buy an aloe plant for the kitchen. it gets ugly as you break off branchs to fix your burns but that is the deal. it makes a huge difference if you can get aloe on your burnt skin within 30 to 60 seconds of doing it. they are tough to kill and will make you happy 4 or 5 times a year if you are anything like me. your fears of becoming a sky pilot make me think you would benifit.
    speaking of. anna thank you for the basset ear remedy two years ago. paws thanks you and it has been magic for her. thank you thank you thank you

    Like

    Reply

    1. I have two aloe plants, tim. It started out as one, and now I have two plants, plus a few more that i gave away. They are probably due to be split up again, so if anyone needs an aloe plant, let me know and (if I remember) I will bring a plant to book club or get it to you somehow. I did put aloe on my fingers, I guess I forgot to mention that detail. I think the reason the aloe didn’t prevent blisters, tim, was the severity of the burn plus I’m not sure I got it on fast enough…I had a lot to do very quickly and I didn’t realize the severity of the burns right away. When it came time for bandaging, I smeared some aloe on first and I’m sure that helped.

      Like

      Reply

    3. Glad the ear goop helped. I found a pre-mixed version recently at Chuck & Don’s and have been using it for my hound. A few days of it worked like magic. Plus I loved the blissed-out look he gets while I’m massaging his ears to work it in…

      Like

      Reply

  15. Afternoon…
    Was able to have an actual ‘going-out-to-lunch date’ with my wife today. Now I’m back at work for a band / choir / Jazz band / Aires concert tonight. The jazz band is good. They’re leading off with a cover of ‘Get it On’ by Chase (1971) .

    I’ve had a couple scenic designs that were barely pulled back from the brink of disaster. You’d think I’d learn. And I do give myself a few dope-slaps but they just don’t sink in sometimes.

    “Disaster” is a strong word… There was this time the road was icy and I was trying to get out with a tractor to pull a car out of the ditch. I didn’t think the tractor with chains on the rear wheels would start so I had taken another; one without chains. Well, I couldn’t get around that icy corner and after trying three or four times had managed to slid off the road on the grass. A few more tries put me through the fence and smashed the tractor mirror on a tree.
    At that point, well off the road, wedged against a tree and minus one door– with a 30′ drop a little behind us (My wife was in the tractor with me) we decided that was good enough for one night. Walked home and got the tractor with chains — which did start after all.

    Like

    Reply

  16. Well, let’s see…two years running I almost set the kitchen on fire while making krumkake. Lotta butter in krumkake. The batter flares up quite nicely if it drips into a gas flame (I cook my krumkake on stove-top irons). Glad I keep baking soda right above the stove.

    I have made disasters of mixing paint colors, turned paint cans over in the process and then walked through the spilled paint (thankfully all in a scene shop where paint on the floor was a not-so-big-deal, just messy). I have attempted to tailor and re-fit clothes only to have them fit worse than how they started (don’t ask me to fit a skirt again…ever…). And I’m sure there are other things that I am blocking from memory simply because they are too painful to recollect…

    Like

    Reply

  17. I once left a can of royal blue acrylic paint on the counter in the laundry room with the lid not quite tightened down. Had two four-month old kittens at the time. Paint went splat. Not sure which kitten was to blame, but they both tore out of the laundry room leaving royal blue pawprints everywhere.

    Like

    Reply

  18. When I first started making bread, there were a lot of experiments. I don’t remember exactly how this went, but I left out something major in one batch (could it have been the yeast??), and tried to add work it in later. That didn’t work out so well, so I tried adding more liquid… nope, how about more flour… you get the idea. Finally had to just wait till another day and start over.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Holly of Northfield Cancel reply