Dear Dr. Babooner,
I am caught in the middle of an unpleasant disagreement between my wife and my biographer over the awkward question of just how amazing I am.
My biographer thinks I’m over-the-top awesome in every possible way – as a thinker, a leader, and manager. She has written volumes about my strategy and my style. She even gives me high marks for the neatness of my desk, both on the visible surface and even the floor underneath where most people don’t check. And I would blush to repeat what she said about the times she’s looked in my drawers.
My wife, on the other hand, thinks it’s hilarious that I have a biographer. “Self-important”, “deluded” and “narcissist” are some of the words she has used to describe my willingness to be interviewed for a book about me.
Dr. Babooner, my emotional side tends to agree more with my biographer’s opinion of me, but my logical side finds it hard to discount my wife’s expertise.
Could they both be right?
Conflictedly,
Pretty Perfect Person, Perhaps
I told PPPP one of the first rules of human nature is that we are eager to accept the good judgement of those who lavish compliments on us. But rather than struggle with a false choice between believing his flatterer or someone who really knows him, I wondered why PPPP neglected to say nice things to his wife about how awesome she is? If he had been doing this all along, perhaps she wouldn’t be so realistic about his shortcomings.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
“And I would blush to repeat what she said about the times she’s looked in my drawers.” Hmmm –
another sex scandal in the making??
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I think of the time I heard the founder Of home depot speak. Bernie Marcus talked about how he has to make big decisions that decide the fate of tens of thousands of employees in every corner of the country and yet at home he consistently screws up taking out the garbage correctly.
What’s that saying about being an expert the further you get from home. Familiarity breeds contempt. My wife doesn’t realize the same greatness in me I am congratulated for everywhere else I go during my day, but then again she never looks in my drawers anymore.
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No man is a hero to his valet.
Another applicable quote not widely known is that the commandment against adultery does not apply to great men. You have to dig long and hard to find very many great men who haven’t strayed. Will this apply to great women as they rise to roles of leadership like in the MN legislature.
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Good morning. That’s some biographer. She looked in his drawers and made him blush and also did some exploring under his desk. His wife should have been pleased that he has such a good biographer or am I missing something. Maybe PPPP is not what he appears to be and his wife is on to him. The biographer might also have a hidden agenda and has a special reason for doing that exploring of PPP’s drawers and the area under his desk. Perhaps PPPP is not as perfect as he seems to think he is. I don’t think I have any advice at all for PPPP. Of course if PPPP is such a great guy he should be able to rise above this. I am betting that it is his wife that is right about him.
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I just heard a commentator remark that Eisenhower had an open relationship with a woman (not Mamie) but he was allowed to continue to lead the troops in Europe. The man continued that we shouldn’t hold current day leaders to any higher standard. I was quite uncomfortable with this analysis and would suggest to all married men and PPPP that if they want to enjoy the benefits of wedded bliss that they should make sure that their drawers only accommodate one other person besides themselves.
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One at a time, anyway. In Eisenhower’s time, though, divorce was a big scandal and having an affair was shrugged off, so he was conforming to the standards of the time. Now we are less forgiving of affairs but more forgiving of divorce.
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The embracing of so-called traditional family values by major parts of the Republican party when they can’t live up to these values themselves has lead to making a big thing out of public figures having affairs. I think it is not a good think for married people to cheat on their spouses. However, I don’t know why it should be such big deal when we find out a public figure has had an affair.
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Dear PPPP: If you’re like most decent, good-hearted people, I bet they’re both true about you. Surely there’s times when you’re over-the-top awesome in every way when the need arises. But to believe this is always true about you is definitely delusional and narcissistic, no matter how neat your desk, floor or the greatness of your — ahem — drawers. We can safely assume your wife knows you best of anyone and is probably willing to overlook the various “un-awesome” parts of you that your biographer may be blissfully unaware.
Embrace the totality of who you are: the awesome and the awful. And if you’re any kind of Minnesota Lutheran, you know pride is sinful, so don’t let the pandering of a biographer hoping for a fat advance fool you.. Being humble and self-deprecating is the Minnesota thing to do. Ya sure, you betcha!
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i was with my mom when potrais got fingered and handed in his resignation. oh why in the owrld would he hand in his resinganatin for crying out loud hes the best we have had in a long time so what if he has an affair. so did clinton so did roosevlt so did lots of people. in europe everyone does thsi why is it a bifg deal in america. leave ppo potrais alone to do his fgood work
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I’m fairly certain Europe was laughing and snickering over the whole Monica Lewinsky affair and how outraged the American people were about it. The double standard that happens here is appalling. I certainly don’t condone extra-marital affairs, but men in power are fools and easily tempted by women who find that powerful and influential men are the ultimate aphrodisiac.
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I was actually in France when the Monica Lewinsky affair broke into the news. The French think we are all idiots to get our shorts in a bunch over this kind of thing.
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tim, there are some people who don’t think that Petraeus was one of our best. I think that he is good that he is no longer at the head of the CIA.
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So it’s the FBI who catches the biographer with her hands in the drawers of the CIA director–that in itself is an interesting story, which does not seem to get any coverage. If I were a top guy at FBI I would be very very careful for the next many months.
I am never sure about how we deal with stories of people in power who commit adultery. Where you do it sure matters. In the Oval Office seems to me to have been a terrible offense. With a distinct underling like an intern seems to me to be a terrible offense. Otherwise I’m not sure. The theory has been that to be caught would make you subject to blackmail, as in the case of the husband who tired to blackmail David Letterman, not that he’s in a position of power. But I would say lying while in charge or while campaigning is as least as large a sin, and it does happen to violate another commandment, if that is the standard we go by. As a middle-of-the-roader I notice that the left has favorite and forgiven sins and the right has theirs.
Having spent a dozen years or so dealing with human sin as public and private topics, I can only say I am confused.
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Oh, how we need the sane middle ground, which I will contemplate as I spend the day driving my wife to various places medical. She now has PT two days a week, but the first visit clearly helped her back.
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HEE, HEE. Just thought of this: fellow Baboons, let each of us who is without sin throw the first turd.
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Clyde, can’t I do a little turd throwing even if I am not free of sin? No turd throwing for the sinful? That’s no fun.
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Good one, Clyde! Let the turds fly where they may …
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Okay, just don’t Just don’t throw any coprolites at me.
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I will try to avoid sending any your way, Clyde.
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It is inevitable that in any marriage lasting for several years, each partner becomes an expert on the other’s shortcomings and weaknesses. Thus the quote, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” But that is cynical and one-sided. In a loving relationship, partners come to learn not only the weaknesses in each other but also all those wonderful qualities of love and compassion and selflessness that might not be apparent to the casual observer.
When love works as it can (and should), each partner is the best advocate in the world for the other. When love goes well, we love the other one at those dark moments in life when we all tend to lose faith in ourselves. True love isn’t blind; it just knows there are times when it is important to be selective about what to say and feel.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG6SCDUiFZs
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Apparently Petraeus forgot that there should be limits to his response to the great love of him that his biographer expressed.
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Well said, Baboons.
One of the things I can’t get my head around is – why do all these people think their hundreds of emails won’t be found out – what kind of delusion comes over people? SO many people have been caught in the recent past (John Edwards comes to mind) – why are they at least not more careful?
I, too, don’t see why this should end someone’s career, but it does in our time and place. More smokescreen to distract us from the real issues that need attention.
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I agree that they were foolish to put all of that stuff into emails. However, I heard today that the investigation of those private emails when there was no violations of any laws can be thought of as a violation of the privacy by those who were investigated by the FBI or whoever did the investigations. I also heard that there are a very large number of requests from government agencies for access to peoples’ personal email according to sources at Google. This sort of thing seems to show no respect for freedom of speech and is not a good trend.
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Agreed.
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Privacy is a dream long forgotten. Several very far judges have argued that there is no right to privacy in the constitution and therefore any attempt create any would be a violation of the constitution. I am aware of this from following the issues of privacy in schools and libraries.
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Clyde you seem to be here a lot today (which is great) for driving your wife around to med appts. Do you have a mobile device or are you making pit stops at libraries along the way? I, myself, should not be here. I should be working at Xcel, but they decided to send contractors home until Security clearance comes through — and it’s killing us financially. Thought I was one step ahead, but now I’m 2 steps behind — again. Could have stayed working at the other position until security cleared, but they assured me they would keep us busy (and employed) until then. Nuts!
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I hope they clear you very soon, Joanne.
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Joanne, do they give you any indication how long that process takes?
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Having been there before and it’s still early in the whole process, it usually takes a week — which means it’s 2-3 days longer already.
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Once read a funny article about underused words. Coprolite was in the list as an underused insult. How many fossellzed old turds have you known after all. Love the word COPROLITE.
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Ectopic post. My fault really.
Anyway, Ugh, Joanne. Ugh!! I mean, when will this end for you?
I do not have a mobile device. I have a pretty minimal phone and will give that up in January when our two -year prison sentence expires. I could get an Iphone quite cheaply, having an Apple employee in the family, well not that cheaply. It would be a high-end luxury. My cell phone rings about twice a month. I do not text. I call very few people. I am going to talk my wife into giving up our land line in February.
Here’s were I drive my wife: one mile south is the hospital and a clinic where she sees three doctors. We went there this morning for lab tests. Three miles north is PT and two other of her doctor, which is where we were this afternoon. Two miles south is another doctor. Her last doctor used to be in St. Peter but is now up by the ARB. So it’s not a driving issue. The sitting in waiting rooms is fine. I read, write, now edit. Pray, think, watch people.
Tomorrow we go up to Shakopee.
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I’d wager the issue here is not the action of having an affair, but the issue of trust. If you’re keeping secrets, from a spouse or a boss (e.g., POTUS), then you are betraying a trust granted. If, on the other had, you are upfront about an inability to keep your, ahem, files in your drawers..well, then that allows others to decide if that is a contract they are willing to make, While there are always things one learns about your spouse (or trusted confidante or boss/employee) as you spend more time together – and things that were once endearing may become annoying – not having the same assumptions about expectations can be a deal breaker.
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It seems to me that the problem here is that we have persons in positions of power who start thinking that they are more important than the jobs they have been hired to do. You will always get into trouble with that sort of thinking error.
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