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Bart to Mitt: Hibernate!

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Today’s post comes from Bart, the bear that found a smart phone in the woods. His offering has been translated from its original language – Ursus Textish.

Yo, Bart here.

Bart Blackberry2

Looks like that Mitt Romney’s handlers and hangers-on have all dropped off, leaving him pretty much alone – as alone as a bear in the December woods! So I kinda feel close to him in a way that makes it OK for me to offer some advice.

Mitt, I’ve seen the stories about you going to movies and filling your own car with gas and riding amusement park rides by yourself and scribbling long notes to old friends and staring out the window. The writers of these articles are amazed that you are doing ordinary things. And they can’t help comparing all these dumb time-wasters to what you would be doing if you’d won the election – planning your inauguration and solving the problems of the world.

Yes, you were almost president, but now it’s your picture that comes up when someone googles “pathetic”. Time to get over it.

In my opinion, you need to hibernate.

It’s great therapy and totally natural. We all go through it – some more than others. When the food dries up and the weather turns cold, you get this feeling there’s really nothing to enjoy about being alive.

That’s when a good long sleep can help a guy adjust.

Anyway, “sleep” isn’t really the right word for it – you just become half awake, grumpy and non-responsive, sort of like President Obama in that first debate.

You can afford the time off, Mitt. Just dig a shallow depression in some overlooked corner of one of your estates, and curl up under a bed of leaves and branches. Let the country fly off a fiscal cliff while you drift into a state of torpor.

Nothing you can do or say at this point will make any difference anyway.

And when you do wake up, we’ll still be here. Things will either be worse or not. But in either case, you’ll be OK and you’ll feel a whole lot better – in fact you’ll feel like ripping open a rotting log to see if there are some grubs inside! It’s an entitlement – forest style!

That’s where you want to be! So stop appearing in public. Give them a chance to forget about you.

I predict in three years you’ll be able to re-surface with a fresh haircut and a nice suit and people will think you’re brand new. So why not give it a try? After all, what (else) have you got to lose?

Your Pal,
Bart

Bart makes some good points, but it’s hard to know the mind of a politician. But it does make one think – you’ve just run for president and lost – how do you put that on your resume?

92 thoughts on “Bart to Mitt: Hibernate!”

  2. The compassionate side of me takes comfort in knowing that Mr. Romney is in the enviable position of not really needing a resume! The less compassionate, and perhaps more cynical, side fully expects the man to find a creative way of spinning this defeat into a triumph.

    Have a great weekend, baboons. I’m footloose and fancy free, Hans is going winter camping!

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        1. Well, what’s the use of going winter camping if it’s not really Winter? Besides snow helps to insulate.

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  3. Good morning. I suppose that visit that Mit had with Obama didn’t really lead to much of anything to keep Mit occupied. Certainly all those guys that worked some hard on spinning things in Mit’s favor could come up with some way to spin his loss. I guess those spinners aren’t available now.

    The resume of a person who ran for president and lost certainly could be spun some way to look good, I’m sure. What would you say? You were a top candidate for President. You did all kinds of impressive things – appearances everywhere, much media attention gained, ete, etc. You were the head of a massive campaign. Don’t say you lost. Say you came in second. Only one person was ahead of you.

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  4. I think Jim’s right – you have to focus on the positive, you were second in a field of ____ thousand possible candidates through the entire U S of A, made a good showing at debates…

    OT: I have some leeks to use, and want to make potato leek soup today. Seems like maybe Jim had a good recipe for that, but I don’t find it in Kitchen Congress…

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    1. I’ve noticed the poetry and cookbook sections of the blog are a flash from the past
      Linda has a way of searching key rods that will narrow it down to all the blogs we’ve had with the word leek in it but you are on your own figuring out how to do it
      Sounds goooood

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    2. BiR, it looks like most of the baboons have gone into hibernation! You’ve probably found a recipe for a Potato Leek Soup by now, but if you haven’t, here’s a link to a good one. Most of the recipes I have for PLS use cream or sour cream. This one doesn’t. Don’t know if ingesting less fat is an issue for you, but if it is, this is a good alternative. Enjoy!
      http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/potato_leek_soup/

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    3. Jim’s recipe was awhile ago; here’s the link. And here’s the recipe, to save you a mouse click:

      Chop up 1 1/2 cups of leeks and cook them in a little buter for a few minutes. Add 3 cups of broth, bring to a boil, and add 2 cups of cubed potatoes. When the potatoes are cooked, use a blender to make a smooth soup and add 1/2 cup of milk or cream. Serve warm with a dash of pepper.

      Oddly enough, I just made some pumpkin leek soup for lunch. We are on the same wavelength.

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      1. I’ve been gone all day. Thanks for finding that recipe, Linda. It is a favorite of our family from 1000 Vegetarian Recipes by Carol Gelles.

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      2. Yes, thanks all. I made something very much like Jim’s recipe with a few refrig leftovers thrown in. The cream is what makes it really good.

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        5. I’ll give it a stab – cut cardboard into bite sized pieces. Place in cereal or dessert bowl. Pour cream over. Enjoy.

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  5. i think mitt can learn a bit about how to do it form the minnesota delegation on moderate republican has beens, uncle normy was first. president of some think tank for the tea party or which ever way the wind blows these days
    dyashttp://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/09/25/politics/norm-coleman-american-action-network/
    karl rove jr. thats or uncle normy.

    or tim pawlenty the invisable man who is taking i was somebody once to the bank for as long as he can. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1112/83604.html
    like jesse says follow the money.
    the only difference is that mitt doesnt need the milllion a year he just needs the ego massage.

    have you noticed how pathetic john mccain is now that he is trying to step up and be the voice of the gop now that no one cares about what john mccain has to say. hes not a former presidential also ran he is a bag of wind trying to say whatever he thinks will get him back in the good graces of those who last thought he was their guy. mitt will als have to realize that all the yes men in the world cant do you any good whne there are no questions to answer other than who am i. good luck mitt. who are you?

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  7. I think Mitt should hibernate for a long time – perhaps a Rip Van Winkle type of sleep. And our friend MB should join him in that long sleep.

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    1. Welcome to the trail, rm. Visited your blog; specially liked your TED Talks links. Stop in here anytime. It’s usually quite a bit livelier here than it is today.

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  9. Greetings! Seems to be a slow gray day on the Trail. Unfortunately, like so many other job situations, being second just doesn’t count. While I’ve had a couple great jobs, I’ve been runner up for at least 5 really nice jobs. Maybe you can spin that in politics, but you sure can’t put it on a resume or make it count for anything. Bart has the right idea — let’s just hibernate, especially Mitt. The world will continue without him for a while.

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    1. I know when my daughter was looking for a teaching job, for a long time she came in second. They would tell her annoying things like, “the English department really liked you, but we need a football coach too.” Being second certainly didn’t pay any bills. There is a happy ending to the story, because finally somebody liked her and didn’t need a coach.
      I have no useful advice for Mr. Romney. But that’s fine, because I can’t think of any reason he should listen to me. I agree with Joanne – hibernation sounds like a good idea.

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  10. “I think it’s better to attempt something and fail than it is to not even attempt it, so I’m glad that I’ve been prepared to put myself on the line there.”

    “For myself, losing is not coming second. It’s getting out of the water knowing you could have done better. For myself, I have won every race I’ve been in.”

    -Both by Ian Thorpe, Olympic swimmer.

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    2. I agree completely with Ian Thorpe’s first quote. The second one makes no sense to me. Just because someone bested you, doesn’t mean YOU could have done better. Sometimes you give your all, and someone else is stronger, faster, or smarter. If you know you’ve done your best, given your all, you have nothing to be ashamed of. This is one reason I find so many Olympic athletes’ whining over a silver or bronze, or heaven forbid, no medal, intolerable. I’m firmly in the camp that believes winning isn’t everything. Then again, perhaps I’m not an Olympic athlete because I don’t have the mindset that says winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing?

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        1. That’s what I get from the first and last sentence in the second quote, but how does that jibe with ” It’s getting out of the water knowing you could have done better.”?

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  11. For most of us coming in second is a problem. That’s especially true when you need a job. In that case, finishing second is not much good. Mit might have lost, but he really doesn’t have much of a problem. He doesn’t need a job and, of course, he will not have any problem getting a very high paying job if he wants one. He can hibernate if he wants to or he can undoubtedly end up doing something that brings in a lot of money and requires very little effort such as some high paying job sitting on the board of a big company and only putting in a few hours a month.

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  13. Morning all. I’m on the fence about hiberation today. Teenager and I were going to drive to Eau Claire today but I’m thinking this probably isn’t the best thing to do today. Hot chocolate and cookies on the sofa and a fire in the fireplace sounds a lot better to me!

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    2. Haha, my co-worker and I drove from Superior to Stevens Point today because we have training here Monday – Wednesday. We stopped at her parents’ house in Eau Claire for an hour break and to drop off our dogs so her parents can watch them. The (normally) 4-hour trip took 6 hours, not including the hour we were at her parents’. We were lucky we left their house when we did, because it started snowing harder. I couldn’t believe how bad the roads were.

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  14. We managed to get in a day of shopping in the Twin Cities yesterday. We were going to include a stop at the Mall of America and decided not to go there because there was a big traffic jam on the roads leading into that place. Today we will probably stay in our den in Clarks Grove, but will not go into full hibernation.

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    1. I have only been in the MOA once during December — not my favorite place in any month, but seems like taking your life in your hands to go their during the holidays!

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  16. Perhaps, if he really wants to have *something* on the resume, Mitt could spin this not as a loss but a stretch of time when he was the spokesperson for a political agenda. He could include information on achievements in fundraising and volunteer hours clocked for the organization. But, really, it would be nice if he would just go into hibernation…for a decade or so…

    Wish I could hibernate today, but I have to mush out at least this morning. I have to get Angel #2 to Christmas pageant rehearsal. Sigh.

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  17. Good morning, all! I haven’t been able to be here on a daily basis and it takes me awhile to catch up on reading the past several days.

    I started my new job and I’m having some mixed feelings. My quiet, peaceful, calm life has been turned on its head. I have no idea how I’m going to get everything done and stay rested and healthy. A few of the new people have been less than friendly. It’s clear to me that they made some decisions about me before they even met me and that I present some kind of threat to them. I understand their feelings – to a point – but I’d be more willing to give them a chance. Then they told me this, which pertains to the topic: “No one else wanted the job you got. No other LPNs wanted to work here. They couldn’t hire anyone else. You got the job no one else wanted.”

    Well, needless to say, that hurt. I guess I came in second or third or even farther back in the herd. But it’s troubling in another sense: why didn’t any other nurses want this job? Is there something I should know about? I asked and they refused to answer. I have a low opinion of that kind of behavior.

    I’m not afraid my own rusty skills. I can feel it coming back to me already. I’m more concerned about the relationships with the people. It’s important to have good working relationships and open communication.

    So, Mitt, you need to be honest with the people around you. You can use your resume’ to brag about yourself all you want. It might even get you a job. When you get to your new role you’ll need to assert yourself respectfully, with full awareness of the talents, knowledge and skills of all of those who’ve been there before you. You’ll need to define yourself very clearly – no ambiguity will be tolerated. You need to communicate openly and honestly about what you will deliver and what you expect. Or, as Bart suggested, you could just hibernate. You have the means to hibernate for as long as you wish. I wish I could hibernate. Just for today, I think I will. That hot cocoa sounds great!

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    1. Krista, so sorry that you’ve already encountered some negativity from some of your coworkers. Why on earth would they tell you that nobody else wanted the job? I can understand why that would make you feel bad. I hope that once they come to know and trust you, that you feel like this wasn’t a bad career move for you. Meanwhile, hang in there, and be careful during those long commutes.

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    2. Oh, Krista… hang in there. I can’t imagine that these folks won’t love you, once they get to know who you really are, as opposed to the person they imagined before you arrived.

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    3. A coworker of mine once told me that it takes about eighteen months to adjust to a new work group and find your place in it. I don’t think this is necessarily true for everyone – we’ve all seen people who just fit in effortlessly from day one – but it does seem to be true for me. It’s especially nerve-jangling for those of us who fall into the Myers-Briggs “I” type.

      Please don’t get discouraged right away, Krista. You have the skills for the job – that part will come back – and you can connect with the people one at a time and at your own pace. Try some Amish friendship bread. 🙂

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    4. What they said. ANd who knows, Krista, it may be that job requires some special skill that others have not had, and you do. But only time will tell, and I wish you much energy to be your true self, kind and competent.

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    6. Oh Krista – will echo the sentiments of others here and keep my fingers crossed that things turn around for you. Whether or not you were the first choice, they would not have hired you (or shouldn’t have anyway) if they didn’t think you were a good fit. Sending you all the good work juju I can!

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    7. I think of most job situations as some variety of disfunctional family. It seems to clarify the interpersonal dynamics somehow. Your job is obviously important. After all, they kept looking for someone until they could fill it. The other potential applicants lacked critical qualifications, namely openness and enthusiasm. Those were qualities you obviously had in spades.
      I don’t understand why whomever hired you didn’t smooth your introduction more, but in the long run, you’ll be OK. You don’t need everyone to like you right away. Just look for the one or two people you can connect with; the rest will come around. Good Luck!

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    8. Baboons have come through with wisdom and kindness again! Thank you, everybody. I will remain positive, and be respectful and honest with my new coworkers and maybe they will turn around in time. It helps me to know that there are people like you in the world.

      By the way, where is Steve?

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      2. hey krista, it sounds like you landed in the hen house with a bunch of ugly cackling hens. it is possible that this is just a stop for you on route to the true destination you are looking for. people are caddy and it is amazing to me how the little ckiques do their ugly things and pat themselves on the back for maintaining their cheerleaders mentality. do it with your eyes open and be looking at what you like and or dont like about the job. you are not tied to anything and can ad lib on a momennts notice.
        1 dont sweat the small stuff
        and
        2 its all small stuff
        you are great and the proper situation will find its way now that you know it is available for you.

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  18. We are in Fargo at our son’s place. We have decided to stay in Fargo tonight due to blowing snow, and leave for home early in the AM. I gave my Play Therapy presentation to the MSU graduate students yesterday, and they want me to come back in the Spring and give it again. I am pleased that we can hibernate in the comfort of our son’s apartment as the wind howls and snow blows across the RR valley. I think MN is going to get the brunt of the storm. The wind chills are very low.

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  19. Congrats on the successful presentation!

    SO glad that we didn’t head off early this morning for Eau Claire! I was thinking earlier that I might run a couple of errands mid-day, but that’s out now. About 5 inches here in SW Mpls, but more importantly, the plows have been down my street several times and there is a little mountain of snow at the bottom of my driveway. Hibernation… here we come!

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    2. We just got back from church and rehearsal for Angel #2. Glad I don’t need to leave again. Driving is gross. Going to do some shoveling, some playing in the snow and then start a fire and have hot cocoa.

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      1. According to my pedometer, I just walked over a mile in the snow without leaving the confines of my property (except briefly to help shovel a stretch of sidewalk for a neighbor). Wonder how many calories I burned walking back and forth and heaving snow for an hour and a half?…

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        1. With a little luck, Anna, enough to make up for the hot chocolate and cookies. I just got done shoveling my car out and moved to the north/south street for the plowing of our east/west street tonight. Our brand new snowblower that Hans bought at the beginning of last winter, and which due to lack of snow was used only once, won’t start. Aargh!

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        2. We were also dealing with a new (to us) snowblower that we share with our neighbor – it was a relief to finally get it going, and then it worked like a charm.

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  20. It’s kind of exciting to be snowed in if you don’t HAVE to be anywhere… Half the things we’d planned to do today are cancelled… and I think I’ll just skip the other one… maybe I’ll get to my Christmas cards!

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  21. Afternoon-
    We’ve got 3″-4″ down here and little wind so it’s not much of a problem. I’ve been out picking up lights from a couple shows over the weekend. I’m working in the college shop now for a bit, then one more place to pick up lights this evening. Would rather be home hibernating but such is life.
    I did grease and hook up the snow blower to the tractor this morning so I’m ready if I have to blow out the driveway in the morning. Or maybe it will melt in a few days??

    OT: apperantly I have created dead starter for Amish Friendship bread. Started it back in November and it’s just laying in the bowl like a sludge. No bubbles, no wonderful yeasty smell, just….. bleah.
    I baked once with it and the bread tasted fine. Thought maybe that new infusion of sugar, milk and flour would jump start it but nope. Still just…. there.
    My sister the food scientest wonders if the house is too cool? (Should have put a sweater on it I guess) or if somehow one of the ingredients was sterile. Can you get sterile flour or sugar?? I mean, isn’t this just basic chemistry? It’s not supposed to go wrong.
    So I might be starting another batch of starter and keeping it on the stove.
    Any other suggestions? Anybody got starter that we could arrange a trade off?

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    1. I have starter. Since mine started with you, it only seems appropriate to return the favor. I should be making another batch of bread in the next couple of days. Maybe even today if I feel enough ambition to walk to the grocery store for pudding and other necessary ingredients. My vote would be that it’s not warm enough in the house – I have killed more than one yeast bread by having it out in a draft while it was rising. Try tucking your starter someplace a bit warmer and see if that keeps it going.

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      1. Electric oven, but we have a ‘block heater’ sort of thing as a space heater and that’s where I’ve put the starter the last few days. If it’s only ‘mostly dead’ it might recover there…
        Anna, I don’t have any MSP trips planned in the foreseeable future. You coming this way at all?

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        1. Hadn’t planned on it, but an excuse could perhaps be, ahem, cooked up. (Though maybe not until after Christmas given how the calendar looks at present.)

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  22. OT: Any baboon with a digital camera, take a photo of a snow scene, either today or tomorrow, and email them to me at: mmbbhassing@usfamily.net .
    Hopefully I can figure out how to put them together for a guest post about our First Winter Storm.

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        2. I think I know how to save a picture on Facebook to my computer (and then they could be emailed to Dale). If you want instructions, Barb, email me.

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  23. I’m sure this can’t be true, but I don’t see a post from Steve since December 3 “Men in Tights.” I’m starting to be concerned.

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  24. It is indeed a beautiful snow. We had to go out for a bit this afternoon to clean the Dojo, pick up Jim’s meds, get gas and end it with a free dinner served at a nearby church. They serve a free homemade dinner the 2nd Sunday of each month. A very nice meal — Lucas loves it because “they have cake and cookies”. I’m just happy not to cook or figure out what to make.

    Thank god Jim was driving or I might have gotten us into a pickle. We shall see how it looks for going to work tomorrow. Yuck — that could be ugly. But now I’m staying put for the night. I was thinking of making cookies or muffins, but all I have is whole wheat flour. I’ll have to dig in my recipes for something appropriate to go with cocoa or tea.

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