Good or bad, advice is free and easy to give. We are ALL Dr. Babooner.
Dear Dr. Babooner,
My spouse and I recently returned from a dream vacation in a condo on the east end of the island of St. Thomas in the Caribbean.
Before leaving we asked friends for advice on what to do and heard plenty about restaurants, shopping, and sightseeing. Everyone seemed so excited about all the things they were suggesting! And they were nice ideas, but instead of taking those recommendations we skipped the rental car and spent our time taking walks on the beach, playing in the ocean, watching iguanas and sea birds, taking naps and playing cribbage on the lanai.
We had fun, but we skipped everything we were told to do. Now when friends ask how the trip went, I remember their enthusiastic suggestions and I’m afraid to say anything. And when they ask to see pictures, I lie and say the camera was eaten by a duck.
Here’s why – if you look at our photos, you’ll see that you don’t see any shots of the fort or the plantations or the shopping district – in short, there’s nothing there from any of the major tourist destinations.
This was a fabulous vacation, but my friends are convinced that something went terribly wrong because I’m so close-mouthed about it. Rumors are starting to circulate that we both came down with the Virgin Islands Pelican Flu and are depressed from taking massive amounts of antibiotics.
Dr. Babooner, I want to share my vacation with those close to me, but I’ve waited too long and now I’m afraid I will never be able to tell anyone anything about it. What can I do?
Confusedly Yours,
Deeply Conflicted By Island Respite
I told DCBIR that we shouldn’t arrange our vacations to please other people, and if she and her husband came back happy, that’s the only thing that matters. Anybody who would criticize you to your face for not taking their advice is a boor and a snob. Decent people will criticize you BEHIND YOUR BACK for not taking their advice. That’s how it is, and how it always should be.
But that’s just one opinion. What do you think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
Good morning. DCBIR, people can think what they want. You don’t need to tell them anything. If they have reached a wrong conclusion about your vacation that is their problem. However, if you want to tell them something you can say whatever you want. Make up a story to tell them if you wish. There’s nothing wrong with white lies, right? On the other hand, you could just tell them the truth. If they can’t handle it, that is also their problem and not yours. By the way the way, I think I know your real name Deeply ConflictedBIR. Very nice pictures.
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Any vacation that includes an iguana is a good one.
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Right on, Holly.
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Wonderful mcfarrin
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“Any vacation that includes an iguana is a good one.” As tim would say – words to live by!
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Unless an iguana once fell off a tree branch while you were hiking, grazed you on the way down to the ground and scared the bejeezus out of you. I’ll take my vacations iguana-less from now on.
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And someone told us not to paint toenails red – the iguanas think they are berries of some kind and try to bite them!
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whats gray and red and sits in a tree?
an elephant with its toenails painted red.
why do elephants wear red tennis shoes? so they can hide in the apple trees.
why do elephants have flat feet? form jumping out of apple trees.
whats red and withe and gray all over? campbells cream of elephant soup
1965ish?
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What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
“Here come the elephants over the hill.”
What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape?
Grapes are purple?
What did Tarzan say when he say the elephants coming over the hill?
“Here come the grapes.” Tarzan was color-blind.
ba-dum-dum
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Now I’m afraid to walk under trees lest an elephant fall on me…
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“How do you get 6 elephants into a Volkswagen?” (beetle)
3 in the front and 3 in the back!
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I was giving a friend a ride home. He asked what the gadget on the dash was. I told him that’s my elephant warning system. He said there isn’t any elephants around here. I said see how well it works?
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Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do Elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
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Tell them that based on your doctor’s advice, you spent your time allowing the rhythm of the waves to relax you and return your heartbeat to a healthier pace. You also had strict orders not to carry anything heavier than a an umbrella drink, so that cut out shopping. Perhaps, having seen how little some of the locals live on, you also chose to save the money you would have spent at expensive restaurants and donate it to a local food shelf so others may eat, too. And a nephew/niece/grandchild/neighbor kid was working on a school project that you agreed to help on by taking pictures of the fauna. So you see, if you were to follow doctor’s orders, be virtuous, and fulfill your promise to a child, there was not time or ability to shop, go to plantations or eat at fancy restaurants.
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That’s a really impressive job of spin. You do this sort of thing often? 🙂
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I have mad skills when it comes to excuses for sitting still and having umbrella drinks (did I mention the fruit often in those drinks? That’s healthy – probably some good vitamin C there, to help prevent scurvy…). 😀
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You could say that you became completely fascinated by the ocean and the beach and couldn’t pull yourself away from the beach to go shopping, visit tourist sights, or go to fancy restaurants. That might even be close to the truth.
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This is actually very close to what happened, Jim.
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Anna, you still got a job this morning? Not one of the cuts at BB Headquarters?
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I was wondering the same thing; I sure hope you’re alright.
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Yes, I am still gainfully employed. My team, as a whole, was untouched. Phew.
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Hoping the best for you, Anna. Good luck.
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Love this, Anna: “You also had strict orders not to carry anything heavier than a an umbrella drink,”
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Dear DCBIR,
You have two choices.
First, you can simply tell the truth and be confident enough in yourself to not have to try to keep up with the Jones’es. You went on vacation to an enjoyable place, did what you enjoyed doing, and …well… enjoyed yourself. There really shouldn’t be guilt or shame in that (unless you’re Catholic…then there’s shame and guilt in everything but especially anything remotely resembling ‘fun.’).
Your other choice is to lie your head off. The crazier and more ridiculous, the better. Tell everyone something different and then try to tie them all together. You were kidnapped. You became a pirate. You fell in with a cult for a week. You were elected god of the island but had to abdicate. You were taken over by mind-controlling microbes found in tropical sands. You were working on a top-secret de-salinization process that involves pina coladas and bikinis. See how far you can push it before people don’t believe you? It’s fun!
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Lots of fun, tgith! We were researching Tropical Pain Killers, recipe below:
SERVES 1-2
2-4 oz. of rum
4 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. cream of coconut
1 oz. orange juice
Grated fresh nutmeg
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sloe gin
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I used to think it was “slow gin” and couldn’t see what was slow about it…
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv6Oj3zDo6Q
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As soon as my home computer is up and running, I will send a report (and pictures) about my trip to London. For reasons related to office politics, no one at work except my husband and my boss (with whom I travelled) knows that I went, so the Trail is the only place I can talk about the trip!
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Not that I don’t want to hear about your trip, Renee, but I’m wondering if it’s safe even here. What if someone reposts to Facebook?
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Oh, I feel pretty anonymous. Daughter has told friends where we went, and even in our small community no one at work is any the wiser, so I feel OK about reporting to the baboons.
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Great! Looking forward to the report.
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First of all DCBIR, I really admire your fortitude. It takes real moxie to write to a famous columnist asking for advice about how to deal with not taking advice. A Celtic knot is going to be quilted in your honor :).
Sounds to me like you and Husband had what most of us actually think of as a vacation- you relaxed, enjoyed, and experienced a place quite unlike home. (nobody plays cribbage on the lanai in Minnesota in January). The iguana population here is also pretty sparse and you really can’t see the ocean from here.
You can, however, go to a lot of fancy restaurants and visit historical sites in Minnesota pretty much whenever you like. I suppose if you had to, you could go to a fancy restaurant that has the same kind of cuisine as the recommended restaurants, and then write about that food, but I think you might just be too painfully honest for that.
Glad you had a great time!
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That’s what I thought, mig. That was my one regret – that we didn’t eat authentic West Indian food… anyone know a good Caribbean restaurant in the Twin Cities?
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We don’t eat out enough to know, but my approach would be to hit the library and get cookbooks, then go shopping and DIY.
of course, you could always cheat and download images from the web, but that does not sound like as much fun.
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Then be sure to invite all baboons over for a Caribbean dinner and evening of fun!
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You’re right! that does sound like fun.
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I think, DCBIR, that you could use this dilemma as a sort of filter. Friends who cannot stand the truth–especially when the truth is so harmless–are not good friends. Tell the truth just as it happened. The ones that feel slighted and have hissy fits are not the sort of friend you want. The ones who grin and understand how vacations need to be natural and flexible are the sort of friend who will go the distance with you in life.
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I’m kinda loving the idea of the Friend Filter.
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Ditto.
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I have actually experienced times like these; since I travel for work, I often get suggestions that I can’t use since I’m never in charge of my schedule. Here’s the line… “Oh, we had such a good time. We just couldn’t get to all the things on the list so we’re saving those for the next time.”
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Like.
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It’d be my oh-so-not Minnesota Nice style to blurt it all out, explaining just why I’d withheld the actual truth about the trip and apologizing for thinking it was even necessary to do so. Let the chips fall where they may. A “nice” way to frame it would be to say that it’s a little embarrassing to admit how little exploring was done in favor of spontaneously doing only what felt good in the moment.
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Yep. We did finally do an explore day, took a ferry to St. John and walked around in the hills… but mostly being in the moment was what this vacation was about.
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As it should be, BRB!
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Greetings! Sounds like an awesome vacation you both richly deserve. And to heck with nosy people who can’t stand unheeded advice. You were nice enough to listen and acknowledge their gushing advice about what they think is fun — that’s all you owe them. The rest is all you. Although I do like MiG’s idea of having a Caribbean DIY dinner at home in the middle of winter. Just don’t forget all us baboon friends!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKWqpiDkemw
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Excellent, Holly! I’ve been hearing this song in my head lately and could not remember the name OR who did it… Love the line: “we’ll get there faster, then take it slow…” 🙂
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Like everyone else said, don’t think about it too much. When you’re on vacation the toughest decision you should have to make is what kind of dressing to have on your salad.
Cleaver disguise, DC/BiR.
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Yes, that was Dale’s… 🙂 Dale actually tweaked the original, of course…
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