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It’s a Bird!

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I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to satisfy all the people who want something special to come out of the new Superman movie. But if one is all-powerful and represents Earth’s only hope for survival, one must try.

UltimatePowersSuperman

I haven’t seen the film, but I read a review that faulted actor Henry Cavill for giving us a Superman who is no fun. But that’s in his DNA (if he has DNA). He’s relentlessly able, stiflingly moral and thoroughly boring. I’m a top authority on this topic because I had a Superman suit when I was 10 years old. I didn’t have any super powers, except when it came to influencing one person. On the question of the suit, I used my pleading vision to shoot pity rays out of my eyes, which forced my mother to sew it. She did a fine job on the cape and the “S” emblem, though I would have liked a better pair of appropriately manly mid-calf high bright red boots.

And no, I did not wear the suit to school. I was an enthusiast, but not reckless. In fact, there are no photos that I can find, so you’ll have to take my word for it. If such a thing had happened at my house with my own son, there would be enough of a visual record of the Superman phase to fill several bookshelves. Perhaps there was an intentional effort made to spare me future embarrassment. Just like the real Superman, I guess my parents did everything in their power to protect me.

But back to the character’s lack of personality. The Superman I knew from comic books was one-dimensional, just like the the movie cowboys and TV cops of the day. Think about Sgt. Joe Friday’s monotone. To be human was to be imperfect. Competent in every regard and totally bland – that was the style. Remember that Superman’s vacation spot was called The Fortress of Solitude. That pretty much says it all. Not really a people person.

Part of Superman’s problem is that he’s always trying to win folks over by rescuing them from burning buildings, intercepting bullets and catching disabled airliners as they plummet groundward. You don’t really see him taking much time to sit and talk with people. He’s not interested in getting to know anyone. He’s always rushing off to save the world, never stopping to make a friend.

No wonder he’s dull.

Maybe we need a hero who’s extra powerful only when it comes to connecting with people.

What one super power would you like to have?

45 thoughts on “It’s a Bird!”

    2. that song came out at a time when the hit formula was wearing a bit thin. i told my friends i really liked that one and i think they were into the song 2525 at that time. i couldnt imagine a better example of a song you will be sick of by the 20th listen. they didnt know what i was talking about but figured it out. i still like this song as hokey and in your face as the message is.

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  2. Just one super power? Well, if I get just one, then it’s got to be something really really good. I’m not sure what it’s called, but I’d like to be able to touch someone and make them “nice”. Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Stalin, Hitler…. these guys would all get the touch. Of course, since I’m only getting one power, I guess I won’t be able to go back in history for the touch. I’ll have to start to Michelle Bachmann and Donald Trump.

    Completely OT – Robin says she does not need gardening assistance. Her wrist is healing without surgery and the wet spring has allowed her to do weeding on her own. But overall it’s been a hard a stressful couple of months. What she WOULD like is a baboon/garden gathering, in which we sit in the garden, talk and have tea (or whatever) and enjoy each other’s company! Next Saturday (the 22nd) — timing still TBD.

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    1. just think of how you could destroy bill oreiley rsxh limbaugh dick cheney even guys who once had their hearts int he right place but realize ugly sells better would be doomed. what happened to john mccain anyway?

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  3. Good morning. Good one, VS. I think I would like to have the power to get people to cooperate by touching them which would be similar to touching them to make them nice. As people with only one super power I hope we would not be as lacking in personality as Sgt. Joe Friday. Sgt. Friday certainly was perfect if being a real person makes us imperfect, Dale.

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    1. I’m thinking we should have a squad… like the justice league, but with baboons. Then we can each have one great super power but if we go around in a group, we can use all our powers at once. I’m thinking world peace and the end of poverty would be just around the corner!

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  4. Poor Lois Lane.

    oh, right, the actual question.

    I’m torn between the power to walk into a room and make the occupants happy, and indefatigability. If I just had the stamina to follow through on all my good intentions……..

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  5. Our attitudes toward Superman are identical, Dale, and like you I had a Superman suit when I was a kid. Actually, it wasn’t a whole suit. Just a big cape that my parents made for me. That was when I was five. I haven’t found Superman interesting since then. To the extent he is super, he is not a real person and is thus not worth thinking about. His obsession with solving crime strikes me as being a bit creepy now. We had a mayor with that obsession in Saint Paul in the 1970s, a guy named Charlie McCarthy. After a full day of being mayor he would slap a magnetic cop light on the roof of his car and drive around the dark streets fighting crime.

    I was wearing the cape that day when our family toured the trout hatchery near Manchester, Iowa. One pond had HUGE trout in it. I leaned so far over the water to see the trout that I fell in, face forward. I remember gliding back and forth along the surface of the pond, looking down on the trout swimming in panic beneath me. I eventually glided close enough to the side of the pool that someone was able to fish me out of the water by grabbing the back of my shirt collar. I told everyone I had been saved from drowning by my cape. The cape didn’t save me, however, when I climbed the swing set and leaped off to fly with my cape.

    I’d like to blame the Superman thing for my lifelong bad habit of falling in love with women who need to be rescued. I tend to fall in love with people who are like unwanted dogs in a shelter, someone who needs to be rescued because she has habits that make it unlikely that a normal person would taker her home. But I know myself well enough to understand the roots of the bad habit of acting like the White Knight, and I can’t blame Superman for any of that.

    Like mig I don’t have any grandiose ambitions to save the world with some super power. If someone could offer me one super power I’d happily settle for something modest . . . like a cure for my tendency to procrastinate. I’m not the guy who is going to save the world, but it would be nice to be the guy who can “do what needs to be done” and on time.

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    1. Okay, Steve, we are only pretending that we can save the world. Isn’t it okay to do that? Actually, I think we will need some one with super powers to save us if we don’t wake up and look at the direction that things are headed.

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    2. i hereby grant you that power now steve. you have the ability to perform that feat begining now. i would appreciate it if you could grant me my request for my super power too.

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    3. I must have phrased myself badly, Steve. I DO have grandiose ambitions to save the world, I just have trouble staying awake long enough to do it all 😉

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  6. my super would have to be the power to make my minds eye picture come true. if i wanted to stop world starvation i would picture a loaf of bread in everyones lap. whirrled peas may end up being a food staple just for fun too. make every ones guns melt and all the bullets turn into seeds to plant for future generations. let see what else. those who participate in the the killing of men and raping of women while going on with racial cleansing in africa would be stopped all clockwork orange with vomiting and convulsion at the thought of evil action.
    i would bhave tobe careful not to let my personal feeling get in the way of justace. i really dont like mitch mcconnell john boehner, eric cantr and the likes but to have their lips stapled shut and their tongues replaced with jalapenios wouldnt be right either, but how do you undo it? maybe only velcro them and make it with a milder pepper instead. it may need some more work but in essence i like it. if you dont i will send you off to the cornfield. maybe i should rethink this a little.

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  7. Can I have the return of my youth as a super power? There are many things that i would like to do and I don’t have the youthful energy to get them done.

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  9. The super power I would like to have is totally selfish – I would like to be able to eat anything I like, as much as I like, and not get fat.

    Or maybe I would have a super power along the lines of Mary Poppins who could pick up an entire room by snapping her fingers, but I would expand on that idea and have all the excess stuff and clutter automatically thrown out at the same time.

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  10. I think I’d like to be able to fix things. It’s a dying art. It would be very useful to be able to resole a shoe or reupholster a chair or fix a watch, but to learn how to do each of those things requires such an investment in time, and time is so hard to find. I’d like to just know how to fix everything.

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    1. I love the song
      I have gotten into fixing things the last couple of years, always have to a point but with you tube you really can do anything.
      The stainless steel cable on one side of my garage door. Same premise as the string that is on the side of you window frames. But how do you fix it. It’s not tough but its not something that’s easy yo figure out either
      Did a radiator on my kids Volvo last week. Wow once you begin you are committed. My son called from college last month and sheepishly asked if I could help him fix his door. It broke off and tore the screws out of the hinges on the top and snapped the wood on the bottom so the screws in the hinge were still connected to wood but only 3 inches of wood, the rest of the door was newly freed from the confines that hinges tend to demand. It was across the room leaning on the wall. Wood putty monster clamps ( I got from Clyde) Elmer’s , a trip to get new screws and we were on our way
      He calls I respond, fixing holes in the wall Plumbing, electrical I can do it but watches? The old ones would be interesting to learn . Ill bet Ben knows how to fix a thing or two.

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      1. My Dad liked to do his own work on fixing things around the house and I have followed his example. However, I don’t have all the skills that he had so I have to get professionals to do some things. I did replace a garage door with a new one installing all the new tracks and hardware for the door myself. Before doing this I asked a carpenter if it was a hard job and he said it wasn’t. I got it done, but I took me a long time to get it right or almost right. It works so I guess it is okay. It does sometimes sound like it might break.

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      2. Love fixing things. I’ve found so much of it is just a matter of taking the thing apart, cleaning it well, maybe putting in a replacement part or two, then putting it back together.

        Not a quick job, but a really satisfying one, if you can find the chunk of necessary time. As tim says, once you start, you’re committed.

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        1. I remember a friend telling about findings a guy fixing a crack in one of those 99 cent disposable white coolers. He asked why the time and energy was put into fixing such an easily replaced item I’m fixing it because I can and I’m doing something constructive.
          I always liked that.

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        2. People who love fixing things would LOVE my home. If you get a serious itch to fix something, I can give you the opportunity to scratch it.

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      3. tim, I’m really good at taking things apart! Sometimes I have to stop and look at the broken thing and say to myself ‘My dad would be able to fix that; how would he do it?’

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  11. Curiosity – I would have the ability to make people curious. Might go along with our League of Baboons, might not. I have read that if you are in a bad mood (glum, blue, angry), if you can get yourself to a place of feeling curious your mood will lift. Plus, curiosity leads to interest and learning – and that may lead to greater understanding – and then maybe we can figure out how to get a bowl of whirled peas from tim onto everyone’s laps…

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    1. Yes, imagine all the blowhards like Rush and Bill O. really curious about everything! One of the best problem solving techniques starts with “I wonder if” or “I wonder what…”

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  13. I’d like to be able to wave a magic wand and cure mental illness when I encounter it. Including Greed.

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    1. Yes. That would be good. And a corollary: a way for those who feel “broken” to feel less “broken” (whether that be through mental illness, a difference in abilities, addiction, or just somehow “separate” from the “normal” world…).

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  14. Had a perfect day for yardwork. Trimmed the lilacs.

    Now suddenly the wind has come up. Sirens in the distance – sounds like Dakota County, not Ramsey yet.

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    1. Only yardwork was a little watering where the Teenager spread some grass seed a few days ago. Biked down to the free concert (Cantus) at the bandshell. Last Twin Cities performance by Tim Takach — he did “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”… brought tears to my eyes!

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  15. The power to vaporize mindless boors in a single flash. (Whose added bonus is it gets rid of 99% of the politicians at the same time, too.) 🙂

    Chris in Owatonna

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