Today’s guest post is really a travel pitch from a partisan player, tourism-wise. I usually refuse to take these blatantly promotional offerings, but it’s late and I’m stuck for a blog entry. Plus, the writer is well known to us all as Minnesota’s 8th district Congressman, Loomis Beechly.
Greetings Constituents,
This is the time of year when Minnesota’s picturesque 9th district fills up with temporary new residents.
Welcome, cash cows!
I say this in the most loving way possible because we do rely on you to drop a bundle of dough while you are visiting the district. Our people are both desperate and grateful for your support, so whether it’s a wildly expensive lunch on a dock or an overpriced boat excursion or an extremely costly but smallish cup of earthworms, I hope you’ll be quiet and gladly fork over the bucks whenever we ask and not make a fuss about it.
After all, you’re on vacation! What’s the point of getting mad?
I also want to acknowledge that this is Pride Weekend in the Twin Cities, and coming as it does at the end of a week that included the Supreme Court’s overturning of the Defense of Marriage Act, now seems like the perfect time for someone to suggest in a public forum that a group of people who really set the tone for style in our culture ought to initiate the yet-untried concept of in-the-lake weddings.
And I don’t say this merely because I represent all the water surface area in the state or because gay weddings are bound to be outrageously spendy affairs or because religious people might think they’ve cornered the lake ceremony market with their baptisms and making shallow water the go-to place for gay and lesbian unions would be a subtle but delicious in-your-face move, but just because this is something that could become amazingly stylish and it hasn’t been tried before.
As far as I know.
I would love it if two people getting hitched with their four feet in six inches of water at some Minnesota resort became a genuine GLBT (Gay Lake Betrothal Tradition).
Of course we’d have to think of some way to make this work in the winter, too. Possibly involving chainsaws, waders and heated tents.
Your Congressman,
Loomis Beechly
Describe the classiest (or most memorable) wedding you’ve attended.
Trail Baboon 
Good morning. In my experience weddings are likely to be too costly and not much fun. I have heard of weddings that were fairly big productions that went well. I haven’t been to one of those.
One of my daughters was married in San Francisco by a judge without any wedding party. That way she avoided all the wedding planning and had a nice time in San Francisco. Latter she had a party for family and friends at her home to celebrate getting married. The party at her home worked out well for the most part. Some of the conflicts that would have been a problem if there had been a big wedding were minimized.
LikeLike
RISE AND SHINE BABOONS!
MORNING, OFF TO A DENTAL PROCEDURE.
LikeLike
Good luck with your dental work, Jacque.
LikeLike
Three weddings stand out in my memory.
One was the “commitment ceremony” for the gay guys who live across the street from me, Rob and Emile. I felt honored to have been invited. Rob and Emile are great guys. When my erstwife left me and I was so messed up, they were kind. They suggested that I join a men’s group to talk about my heartbreak. I had to laugh at that. Joining a men’s group would have worked for them, I pointed out, but I was looking for the solace of women!
Over two summers I was a wedding photographer, shooting about eight weddings. One of the weddings I photographed involved a remarkably cute couple, a diminutive American guy and his petite Vietnamese bride. The bride and groom were both so beautiful it was impossible to take a bad picture of them, and the spirit in that wedding was joyful in a way I’ve never experienced before or later. I got three photos (of the several hundred shots I took) that I’m still proud of today, but the event was so beautiful I didn’t feel I’d done much. I can remember the bride shucking her shoes at one point to leap about dancing like an elfin spirit. Once she came running into the room where I was shooting. She skipped in with so much joy– every inch of her perfect and beautiful–and I broke into tears at the sight of her. The web site attached to my avatar has at least one photo from that wedding: the couple, dressed in Vietnamese wedding garb, kissing.
When my own daughter got married, I told her not to expect me to be swept up in things. After all, they’d lived together for years already, and this was a matter of getting society’s official sanction over a relationship of long standing. Then, as I drove to the restaurant where the wedding took place, I heard Paul Simon sing that song of his about father-daughter love, the song in which he promises to stand guard over her like a golden retriever. I began weeping so hard I had to pull over. Then I cried so hard during the wedding that I caused Molly to rush to me, messing up the procession, and the officiant was so distracted by my emotion that she muffed her lines.
LikeLike
If you click on my name, you are led to a site with some of my photos. The wedding I mentioned is represented in photos 1, 2 and 4 (I think).
LikeLike
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=001JlTfLZPE
LikeLike
Steve – completely OT. Check out bing.com today. Beautiful photo.
LikeLike
We went to a wedding reception in Milwaukee once in the early 1980’s, invited as tag a long guests by a Marxist agronomist friend we were visiting.(He ended up as a beloved social studies teacher in the Milwaukee Public Schools). He asked the bride and groom, who we didn’t know, if we could come,and they said yes. Both the bride and groom professed themselves to be Marxists. The bride was a foreign student from Poland, and the groom was a foreign student from Libya. The bride converted to Islam. I don’t know how that works with being a Marxist. The reception looked like a meeting of the UN, as they had invited many of their foreign student friends. The food was wonderful North African dishes. The bride’s family was there from Poland, looking confused, speaking no English, the men looking like fat Polish sausages stuffed in their suits. The groom’s attendants were all in lovely black tuxedos, all very handsome and looking like young Omar Sharifs, sporting large white handkerchiefs that they whirled over their heads as they belly danced. I guess that men belly dance a lot in rural villages in Libya. They had traditional Libyan musicians. I wonder what on earth happened to that couple.
LikeLike
Three for me as well.
Most unusual was actually mine (second one). We got married at The Good Earth (in Calhoun Square) over lunch. Justice of the Peace met us there, our waiter and waitress from next section over were our witnesses. The Good Earth comped dessert for us after we ate! Unfortunately, unusual wedding does not guarantee longevity.
Most exotic was the marriage of a friend of mine to a Muslim Egyptian in Washington D.C. Had the traditional Christian ceremony in the morning then we moved to the mosque for the Muslim ceremony. We had to cover up and the whole ceremony was in Egyptian, so I have no clue what was being said. Although my friend had been coached in what the words were, she later told me that the actual ceremony was MUCH longer than her fiance had led her to believe, so she wasn’t sure what was said either. A little scary and also no guarantee of longevity.
Classiest was the second wedding of my first wasband. We split up because we just weren’t right for each other and had grown in opposite directions. His second wife was cut from the same cloth and they were very compatible. Anyway, they got married in the park overlooking the St. Croix and it was very pretty, understated and, since I was invited, classy. This one made the grade — they are still married, living in Washington state.
LikeLike
Morning–
Just this past March my niece got married down in Charleston. While it was a very nice wedding– what made it the ‘Best. Wedding. Ever.’ was how happy the couple was and the plain simple joy evident through out. Plus the amount of family time that went with it. The wedded couple and the parents still made a point of wanting to spend time with the rest of the family. And the weird stuff that happen after the ceremony makes for great stories!
Several years ago we had two weddings on one day. We went to the first wedding ceremony and second wedding reception. The first was really a “Weddin’ “!’ complete with pick up trucks (and I’m sure there were shotguns somewhere) and plastic cutlery. The second reception was beautiful with activity sacks for the kids and more food than you can imagine.
And our wedding– we just had fun. The bride was beautiful and the wedding party looked classy enough they made up for the groom and his big ’80’s glasses. The Minister had his hands full with us and actually told us we had to settle down. And then he put the trumpet player in charge of me; told me to “Sit here!” and told him not to let me wander off. But the minister was smiling and laughing through it all. He had come to my bachelor party after all…
LikeLike
Two more memorable weddings, memorable in this case because of the vows.
A friend got married. Part of the wedding vows was the explicit permission for either partner to split if the other got fat.
In my best buddy’s marriage, the wedding vows included a promise that the partners would go to counseling before divorcing. They divorced without marital counseling anyway.
LikeLike
The vows about not getting fat were, I’m sure, meant to be cute and funny, but I can’t find them so. They just seem superior and insensitive. It might be because I know/have known women with eating disorders, and have had occasion to wince when people who didn’t know about their disorders made similar cute, funny comments in their presence.
LikeLike
Actually, the vows about not getting fat were totally in earnest. Both of them felt that would be unforgivable.
LikeLike
Then they deserve each other.
LikeLike
I see that some of you have been to big weddings that you liked. I still think that in most cases a very small private wedding would usually be the best avoiding the not so good craziness that I have seen at big weddings.
LikeLike
Jim, younger women almost all have a dream of a big celebratory wedding. Guys buy into this, but it is female-driven. Women just adore these magic pageants that are their special moment. What I have noticed is that once someone has had that kind of wedding, they rarely feel the need for it again. Second weddings tend to be modest and simple and far cheaper.
LikeLike
Let’s go with “most women”. All I did was fight with my mother over my first wedding…. justice of the peace would have been fine with me.
LikeLike
There could be a wide range of reasons for a big wedding. I hope that we are moving away from a world where young women are characterized as having a big need for a fancy wedding. Also, I would hope that we are coming to a time when young men might more equally share in wedding planning. I have no objection to large weddings if that is what is wanted. I think that the wishes of the parents and the traditions of the families would be additional factors in choosing to have a large wedding.
LikeLike
When I got married my erstwife and I agreed that an intimate gathering of true friends would suit us. But weddings are mostly organized by the mothers of brides, and in this case I watched with horror as our small group of dear friends turned into a big wedding with over 200 people invited. And what I noticed was that the argument was never that “Aunt Tootie would hate to miss seeing your wedding.” Instead I kept hearing how pissed off various relatives would be if they were not invited.
LikeLike
This is what happened w/ my first wedding. My dad was a hot shot lawyer and my folks saw this as a party to say “thanks” to all their friends/associates. AsI stood in the receiving line, I didn’t even KNOW most of the people at my wedding. However we did get some great photos at the end of the day… wasband and his best man on the trampoline and me with wasband on the swingset.
LikeLike
Husband had a hard time understanding why these people he didn’t know were invited to our wedding, and I had to explain that when you grow up in a small town Lutheran church, all the ladies who taught me in Sunday school and Wednesday release really wanted and needed to see the fruits of their labors. We only had 120 people at the wedding.
Out here in ND, marrying into a Catholic family means that you will be invited to and expected to attend the weddings of everyone who is remotely related to your spouse, either through blood or marriage. Weddings have been and still are the mortar that keeps families together. It is tradition to have “Red Eye” servers at receptions, Red Eye being a concoction of Everclear and flavored Vodka. Cinnamon and Apple pie being the favorite flavors. It is dreadful stuff.
LikeLike
One of the finest weddings I ever attended was a “big” wedding, but not in the usual way.
A co-worker of mine in DC had “finally” found Mr. Right. They wanted a lovely wedding, they didn’t want to go broke doing it, and the idea of having to pick and choose who they could “afford” to invite to the reception was stressing her out to the point of tears on a regular basis.
Then, they figured out the way to have everything they wanted. She made the dresses and the gentlemen all wore nice suits. I think the groom got a new one for the occasion. The ceremony was in the church where they met-nominal charge for the custodian. They got around the whole reception bankbuster when their pastor offered up his back yard, and they realized that they could get the whole thing affordably catered by a local BBQ place as an event, not a “wedding”-all anybody could possibly want to eat, no counting plates and charging by the head. Bride and groom changed in to some casual “whites” for the reception and it was all so relaxed and lovely and they were able to start married life without all the stress that often goes with a “big” wedding.
LikeLike
I love this!
LikeLike
There is a funny New Yorker cover now celebrating the demise of DOMA:
http://www.today.com/news/bert-ernie-celebrate-doma-decision-new-yorker-cover-6C10480518
LikeLike
I have been married twice. Neither wedding could accurately be described as remotely classy, but what they lacked in class they made up for by being memorable. The first wedding took place in Greenland, and I’ve told that story here before, so I’ll spare you the details of it again. Suffice it to say, that despite the memorable wedding, the marriage didn’t last, and ended nine years later in divorce.
The second wedding took place in the Chief Justice’s chamber at the Landmark Center in St. Paul. A female minister officiated, and twenty-two friends (including three former boyfriends of mine) stood in a semicircle around us as we exchanged vows we had written to each other. The ceremony itself and the ensuing celebration at our house were most memorable because of my parents’ attendance. But it all started a month before the wedding, and I apologize beforehand that this is such a long story.
My parents didn’t attend my first wedding (and had never met wasband), so they invited themselves for a monthlong visit prior to the wedding. From the moment they arrived until they returned to Denmark the day following the wedding, they liked nothing about the US, and held me personally responsible for all that was wrong with it. They declared my house, that I had purchased a few months earlier, a decrepit hovel; the food (not just my cooking) inedible (only pigs eat corn, dad said). On the occasion of having Wiener Schnitzel at the Black Forest, dad suggested that the chef should be taken out and shot for preparing such a rotten meal. They hated the hot and humid weather, and snorted with disdain at the rusty cars that were allowed on the streets. Since nothing in the Twin Cities pleased them, I started looking for other ways to distract them.
A friend had offered us the use of his rustic cabin in northern Minnesota for a few days. I was told that the cabin was on a small stream with good fishing, so I gratefully accepted the offer. That turned out to be a mistake. When we got there we discovered that the “rustic cabin” was a dilapidated old house in the middle of nowhere, devoid of any charm whatsoever. To make matters worse, a skunk family had taken up residence underneath it, and reminded us with daily sprayings of that foul-smelling liquid that we were not welcome guests. The fishing stream turned out to be so full of leeches that the first and only time dad and I waded barefoot into it, within minutes, our legs were completely black with leeches. The “cabin” was near the Chippewa National Forest, and driving through it dad observed that it was too bad there were so many trees that they couldn’t see the view!
Back in St. Paul I got the brilliant idea that I’d drive them to Chicago to visit my friends Tia and Bob. We got off to a good start when a little past Hastings they urged me to pick up a young man who was hitchhiking. Unfortunately, he had apparently spent quite a bit of time on the road, judging from his body odor, but by the time I was aware of that, he was comfortably seated next to mom in the back seat. He was quite charming and had lots of wonderful travel stories to tell, so he soon became fast friends with mom, and since he didn’t have any specific destination in mind, going all the way to Chicago with us suited him fine. We even treated him to lunch somewhere along the way.
My parents had met Tia and Bob when they visited Denmark five years earlier, so I was reasonably confident that it would be a pleasant visit, and it would have been if it hadn’t been for the fact that mom was drunk most of the time. She had discovered where Tia had hidden (at my suggestion), all of their hard liquor. When I got ready to return to St. Paul, Tia suggested that my parents remain with them and she and Bob would bring them along when they drove up for the wedding a few days later. Much to my surprise and relief my parents agreed to this arrangement, and I drove back alone.
The wedding ceremony was at 2 P.M. on a hot August day. By the time we got to the Landmark Center mom was three sheets to the wind, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how that had happened. (I later discovered the bottle of Aquavit they had bought at the duty free shop as a gift to us, empty in the freezer.) At the conclusion of the ceremony, we all toasted to our marriage with a glass of champagne. Back at our house, I had to put mom to bed, she could barely stand up, but she repeatedly tried to rejoin the party in various stages of undress. Despite all of this, we managed to have a fun celebration with lots of food and dancing into the wee hours. The following day, as Tia, Bob, Hans and I waved goodbye at the airport, we heaved a huge sight of relief. I was never more sure that moving so far away from them was a wise choice, and 34 years later we’re still shaking our heads in disbelief at that monthlong visit from hell. My theory is that having survived that visit together prepared us for whatever challenges our marriage has had to offer over the years.
LikeLike
That’s is way more than anyone should have to put up with, PJ. I will not go into any details about the difficult behavior of my parents and my in-laws. Unfortunately they have been very trying at times so it is not too hard for me to picture the problems you had during that visit from your parents.
LikeLike
Wow!
LikeLike
i had tag team inlaws, my x would have her dad come to visit for a couple weeks to do errends on hsi way to his northern wisconsin retreat where he lived summers in a trailer on some really beautiful river property. he would leave and her mom would come and take the couch in the living room for a couple of months. he was a teacher and when school would start again hed go back to milwaukee and she would go home to meet him. they they spent september and october in mailwukee and then started the hoildays at our house before going back again. by the time i got out of there it was about 50% 50% as to whether the couch was going to have a pillow and blanket tucked behind the cushions. i had to resort to seeing the little neon auras they carried with them so i wouldnt get upset with them.everyone has their quirks and the 3 day rule is not a bad one if you have to try to live with a quirk that comes with the package,. 3 months is pushing it. then they would take a month off and starting it again. it was a bit much.
current inlaws get it. they come in twice a year from friday night at 5 until sunday morning at 9 am. they have their agenda and ours planned out for the duration of their visit. usually including making a big meal involvong ingredients they carried with them. it must be in the genes, my wife just ook 3 kids with her to chicago will arrive at 10pm friday and be heading back 10 am sunday morning. that wont be enough time for the cousins to hang out but somehow it changes as you get older or as they get older.
did you ever notice how as a relationship goes on how much more they become them and you corfirm that you are you , never to be confusesd as to who feels what way about what?
if thats not enough to make you want to celebrate marrage while standing near a body of water i dot know what is cogressman beechly
LikeLike
A memorable wedding indeed! Weddings sometimes remind us we choose our friends but we can’t choose family.
LikeLike
Ain’t that the truth.
LikeLike
What PJ said!
LikeLike
Ditto to that, Sherrilee (and PJ) 🙂
PJ, Bill and I are looking at each other agreeing that your family visit rivals our “worst vacation ever” which nevertheless turned out to be a rich topic that our kids mined for years in their school essays. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s one good thing about bad experiences, Robin, they sometimes provide great material for family lore. Having just read Mary Karr’s memoir “The Liar’s Club,” I’m very aware of what a treasure trove I have in my background if only I knew how to mine it.
LikeLike
start with an outline
LikeLike
Will have to read these stories later. One of the best was our niece’s 2008 wedding on the “Betsy Northrup” riverboat – we boarded on Harried Island in St. Paul, and were treated to a 3 hours cruise up the Mississippi and back. It was a gorgeous evening, a good dinner, a reasonably sized crowd, adorable flower girls. Can’t remember any snafus either. But the best part was looking out at the riverbanks with a glass of wine in hand…
LikeLike
my weddings were what youd expect sort of. first one was the big do for the 20 something bride with the biological clock. she was form milwaukee but wanted to get married in minneapolis because milwaukee was so unclassy. we got married at the fort snelling church on a december evening at -20 degrees and then dorve to milwaulkee to collect l the boty form her friends that had been unable to attend the event in minneapolis then off to the bahamas for a honeymoon. thats when i realized there was an agenda here. and the wedding was the last happy moent we spent together. next wife decided to say yes as she was pregnat with outr 3rd and we cgot married on 1-1 01 so i could remember. we got married on the boardwalk at disney world in orlando with a justice of the peace and a violin player from the area. 4 kids in the wedding party and another under way we all had the disney ears on.. it was fun but far from a hoity toidy event. we went roller blading after the wedding then headed for the hot tub. think we had 10 folks there for that one.
other memorable ones dont come to mind. a couple of hoity toidy ones a fistfull of vfw’s and church basement get togethers. some memories of a couple of weddings i photographed a couple i drove to see cousins get married at. saw a wedding in thailand and another in mexico that looked like fun but ill beet they will turn out to be nothing like the new glbt weddings. these people believe in marrage. watch out what you wish for is my warning but god bless em they will have to learn to be legally miserable just like the rest of the world now. the shindigs will be elaborate and the level of joy will be unequaled those people know how to party. and now the visits to the emergency can go on the spouses medical insurance.
a new variation on what they say: where are all the caring sensative men in the world? at home with their husbands.
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
I’d always prefer a reception to a ceremony. Most wedding ceremonies I’ve been to were actually rather boring. I can’t think of one I would call classy. The wedding reception I enjoyed the most was one that took place a couple of weeks after the couple had tied the knot in front of a justice of the peace. The reception was in the bride’s mother’s back yard. There was food and beer and a good time was had by all.
LikeLike
I agree, Linda… receptions are the good part. Couple of weeks after our Good Earth ceremony, we threw a big party for all our friends (didn’t tell them why until after they arrived because we wanted to celebrate, not have people bring us stuff). We had this “huge coconut cake with this very rich chocolate sauce… on the side”. Points for the reference!!!
LikeLike
I had to google it. Came across this along the way.
LikeLike
Well, our wedding was a homemade 1970 hippie outdoor wedding — Selfsewn lime green polyester wedding dress, my father officiated, kids climbed trees, our dog peed on a bush, fish jumped in the lake, and the photos which were “home developed” all faded out after a couple of years. Most of our friends were in Cuba that year picking lemons with the Venceremos Brigade, so only 30 or so guests. I have to say though, memories of an early morning wedding are still fresh 43 years later . . . .
Bill’s college roommate (who is now owner of Al’s Breakfast) had a cast/crew of us catering and serving at his wedding. The food was served from humongous plastic garbage pails (new) — our cohort, Melissa was the caterer, and the rest of us were waiters. Bill’s other roommate provided elegant hand written menu cards at the tables: “Fricassee of cocker spaniel” and so on. Just having a good time tweaking the guests, many of whom were parents’ generation. 🙂 That was memorable and the food was amazing!
We baked the cake for another wedding in the early 70’s. These friends (originally from Phoenix, AZ) were moving to Berkeley, CA right after the wedding, and the bride was expecting. The cake was a massive sheet cake with Minnesota at one end (lakes, trees, tiny cabins, beavers and a fabulous waterfall), moving on to the Rockies (at this point we were piling up huge slabs of cake topped with white icing, a Tyrannosaurus rex scaled the slopes with the bride & groom & baby in his jaws), and the ultimate destination: the sunny beaches of California which wouldn’t have been complete without sharks offshore, bathing beauties, figures in clerical garb surrounding a lobster cult on the beach. We bought $75 worth of plastic junk at Maid of Scandinavia, stayed up most of the night reinforcing the Rocky Mountains, and laughed while the kids at the wedding stripped the cake of all its fancy decor. Bill Hinckley and Judy Larson sang at that wedding. Now THAT was fun 🙂
All three marriages still intact 40+ years later 🙂
LikeLike
How wonderful
LikeLike
damn hippies
LikeLike
Great stories, Robin!
LikeLike
Those weddings sound like a real trip, Robin.
LikeLike
I made a pink elephant cake once for a wedding. I once took a piping/decorating class from a visiting cake artist and one of the projects we did was pink elephants sitting amongst champagne glasses. Mine turned out well, so I put a photo of it in my cake portfolio where a very dear friend of mine saw it. She always said that some day she would get a cake with pink elephants on it. When her second youngest got married, she talked them into it. So in a barefoot outdoor wedding in Nerstrand Woods, the three tier wedding cake had pink elephants lolling all over it. We also had a sheet cake – a little more traditional – pink rose buds (to match the elephants of course!) on each piece.
LikeLike
Now THAT would be something to see 🙂 Would you bring your cake portfolio to next book club?
LikeLike