Today’s guest post comes from Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty.
Greetings, Civilians!
I want to share this old photo with you – it was taken from the capsule of Apollo 8 on Christmas Eve, 1968. It is an historic image of the Earthrise, as seen from the moon.
I’ve been thinking about this photo a lot.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that today is the Fourth of July. And I certainly don’t need to explain how I feel about exploding things! That fact that anybody, anywhere would willingly cause something to blow up violently completely concusses my safety-conscious mind!
It’s fair to say that anyone who invites me to go to Wisconsin to buy skyrockets with them, or wants me to watch while they set off a string of firecrackers, is going to get a stern lecture instead of the thrill they were seeking. I find nothing exciting about loud noises and the smell of gunpowder, except for the potential satisfaction i might get from shaming someone for putting us all in such danger.
Is it even possible to have an explosion-free Fourth of July?
I was going to say “go to a movie”, but there’s plenty of violence there. Grilling is an alternative, but some hot dogs do have a tendency to blow up. I have spent most of my adult life engaged in a public service campaign to discourage the very kind of celebration that seems to make up most of the Fourth of July. Not that I’ve had much success.
Sigh.
Why do we have to glorify the bomb? I blame it on human nature and the National Anthem.
As humans, we are enthralled by things that are loud and bright and dangerous. I know this is not a popular position, but we have to face it. The Star Spangled Banner has been misused, and its unfortunate popularity in a shortened version at sporting events has served to oversimplify the message and nullify the poetry. Yet it could be reclaimed so easily.
Here’s the part that we sing:
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watch’d, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Note that the rockets and the bombs come in at the most emotional moment in the verse. No wonder we’re so explodo-centric!
What if we brought forward some of the other verses of TSSB? The song is based on a four stanza poem by Francis Scott Key – “Defence of Fort McHenry“. And yet we only sing one of the stanzas!
The others are more poetic and less violent. In particular, here’s my favorite.
On the shore dimly seen thro’ the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Why can’t we sing THIS stanza at a ballgame every now and then? In addition to putting great words (haughty, reposes) into the mouths of ordinary American sports fans, the key lines focus on a glorious dawn rather than bombs being hurled at the foe.
And if a simple sunrise doesn’t stir you, think of it in terms of the photo above – the sun revealing a rising Earth, with the USA front and center, if you wish.
In my safety-obsessed fantasies, we would adopt this sun-centric stanza as our standard verse for “The Star Spangled Banner” and gradually transition from having a bomb-worshiping culture to one that values a simple sunrise.
Is that too much to ask?
Yours in safety,
Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty
Trail Baboon 
Good morning. I agree with BSOR. He does have a tendency to get carried away with safety. Not this time. Get rid of the bombs bursting in air and replace them with a peaceful sunrise. Fire works are okay, but how about a day of peace and quiet. Reserve the fire works of other celebrations. We need to look to a future without bombs bursting in air. What is needed is a new declaration of independence that would be celebrated in a peaceful way with no exploding bombs.
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Last night at 1 AM some knothead was lighting sizable firecrackers in this part of town.
When my dad was a little kid he wore bibbed overhauls a lot. Once on the Fourth some idiot lit a big firecracker and dropped it down inside the overhauls. I grew up with that story, so I’ve never been a fan of personal fireworks. Fireworks in general don’t do much for me. I’d rather see us celebrate the Fourth by kissing or something quiet.
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Yes, and another knothead was lighting them at 2:00 or 3 over here.
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My neighborhood had something going off, not firecrackers, but something that sounded more like a series of gas explosions. I didn’t hear any after about 11:00, though. Maybe someone called law enforcement – whatever makes that kind of boom can’t be legal.
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I’m trying to imagine the day – the picnics and BBQs, the parades – without the fireworks at the end. I like to see a few fireworks, but we probably spend way too much for the lengthy shows (20 minutes, half hour?) that happen today. And if it was just on the 4th, that would be one thing – now we have them at every summer celebration in the land.
Tonight we have a BBQ with some friends, and then a walk over to watch the fIre works at Powderhorn Park. And then, from my bed, I’ll hear the neighborhood ones starting about midnight.
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Well, while I am in favor no fireworks on the fourth, I guess this is a tradition that is really okay. I would like to see the version of the Star Spangled Banner with the sunrise put to use.
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Oh see if you can just imagine a Fourth
That eschews the bright blasts and the bombs everlasting.
Think of what would replace ev’ry fireworks display
‘Cuz you must replace it if you take something away.
We could put on a play, have a game of charades
Or a pageant of Peace, ending with The Signing
Of the Declaration of Independence so dear
Then all give a great big whoop, and come back here next year.
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Nice!
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Woo hoo
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Daughter and best friend bought $130 worth of fireworks and plan to set them off in front of the house tonight. Fireworks are legal in ND, and we aren’t supposed to set them off in the city limits, but mostly everyone does, and we have for the past 25 years, and there are too few police officers to deal with the issue. The girls will not be shooting anything off after midnight. I get somewhat manic and excited setting off fireworks. BSO Rafferty would be horrified.
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Morning all. What a pretty day for the Fourth. I’m heading off in a bit with the dogs for the Tangletown Parade. Then at 1, Teenager and I are going to the Richfield Parade.
I love fireworks. Unfortunately, due to my job, I know how expensive they are. I also have a fireworks-averse dog, so my fireworks love is seriously diluted. Not diluted enough however as Teenager and I will probably head out tonight to enjoy the Edina show. And whether I like fireworks or not, I still have to drug up the dog (and put the Thundershirt on her at about 6 p.m.)
And, seriously BSOR… I doubt trying to change up which stanza of TSSB we sing will work. Since you can hardly get anybody to actually sing TSSB these days, I’m guessing changing the words will make it worse. So sad actually. (Yes, I’m one of those who still sings.)
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Our dog will take refuge in the basement with the cats. She has no pride when it comes to big boomers.
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Do they make noise-canceling headphones for dogs?
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I will be drugging our dog as well. He doesn’t have a great big closet to hide in like the dog we had growing up – she would escape to the back of my mom’s closet at about 9am on the 4th and stay there until the next morning. Definitely not a dog-friendly day.
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Our Daisy shivers like mad once the firecrackers get going. The last several days have been rather traumatic for her. Never had a dog before who was bothered by it, so have never had to address the issue. Does sedating them really work?
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Our dog has a leaky heart valve, and the vet doesn’t want to sedate her in any way due to that. We made the mistake of taking our dog to a fireworks display in Medora, ND, a little western themed town near where we live, and it terrified her to the point it has generalized to thunderstorms. She copes by seeking out a safe place in the basement, or, if we are home, sitting as close to us as she can. I still feel so guilty when I think about it. Our previous terrier was oblivious to fireworks, so i didn’t give it a thought when we took our current dog to the fireworks display.
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Them or you. Your choice
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My prior basset got valium. Current basset does okay with some benadryl. He’s about 50 lbs – 3 benadryl pills is about right for him.
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Renee, I’ve known a few theater people that have worked in Medora Musical. One guy played Teddy Roosevelt but couldn’t handle the ‘rural-ness’ of the place; he was pretty much convinced it was the end of civilization. Another lady has been the designer there for the last 2 or 3 years.
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Daughter’s best friend is from a ranch and rodeo family from Medora. There are so many of them that they own many of Medora’s businesses, and daughter was privileged to run wild many summers all over town with best friend. Best friend’s cousin had a job at the musical every night reenacting Teddy Roosevelt’s horseback charge up San Juan Hill. It was one of the last things in the musical, so he just waited with his horse until they needed him and charged up the hill and then went home.
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I am not kidding when I say that cousin’s name was Dusty.
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Dusty had a good job. I appreciate the fact he could hang out backstage, ride up the hill and go home. 🙂
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Daughter had to be at work at the coffee shop this morning at 6:30. The owners are on vacation and she has to open the place and stay there all day until 7:00pm and close it up. It may be pretty busy, as it is across the street from the demolition derby and rodeo grounds. She may in a a pretty explosive mood when she gets home, so fireworks will be just the thing for her.
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Remind me what time sundown is again?
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Oh, about 10:30.
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I would be okay with replacing the bombs bursting in air – not really a fan of celebrating war that way. Yuck. I will be celebrating the much more peaceful signing of the Declaration by having a picnic with friends, playing with some nice, quiet sparklers, and listening to Daughter and her buddies squeak and giggle while they play in sprinklers and a small pool. The squeaking and giggling may not be quiet – but that’s a good sort of noisy to listen to. 🙂
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Congrats on the news that best buy has stopped the bombs from going off at corporate hq
Hope it stays that way for you
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Yep – thus far have survived the bombs. Small brush fires happen, but those are easily quashed.
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Rise and Pop Off Baboons!
What a gorgeous day. I just returned from the dog park with my two exhausted dogs–that was their big Fourth extravaganza! I now reek of bug spray due to the healthy population of mosquitoes in the woods.
Last night the home-based fireworks were everywhere. We can also hear and sometimes see the tippy-top of Valley Fair’s Fireworks which were extra loud last night. My two present dogs don’t react much, thank goodness.
Here is my little fireworks secret (don’t tell). If you go to the top floor of the Eden Prairie SW Station Parking Ramp you can see the EP fireworks, along with Edina, Chanhassen, Shakopee, Valley Fair, and a few more. AND IT IS MOSQUITO FREE.
The weeds beckon. To the garden, hoe!
PS. We have a lawn mower for sale, in great condition. Email if you want more info.
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The city of St. Paul puts on a very nice fireworks display on the 4th. It used to run several consecutive nights when they held the Taste of Minnesota at Harriet Island. Now it’s just one night, which is a far better arrangement.
Buying illegal fireworks on the West Side seems unnecessary to me, given that the city is already providing. My guess is that the city-sponsored display is just not noisy enough for certain people. They go to Wisconsin to buy the things that aren’t pretty at all, just bust your eardrums, keep the neighborhood awake, and terrorize the pets.
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Good Late Morning all–
When I was a kid, my Grandma lived right down by Silver Lake Park where the July 4th fireworks happen in town. All the cousins gathered at her house and afterward, while waiting for traffic to clear out we had watermelon and ice cream. I always looked forward to it and I don’t think fireworks as an adult have ever compared.
There was several years when my brother in law, who lived in South Dakota, would bring back a large contingent of illegal fireworks and here at the farm we had our own celebration. There are many family stories of fireworks, model rockets, the lack of fuses for said rockets, improvising with black power and gasoline and the hilarious results of those combinations. And thankfully, no one was ever hurt.
And I’d never let my kids do those things today. What were my parents thinking!?
Enjoy the day.
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I think I have shared before that the first (and probably the last) time I smoked was when i was 9 and we were shooting off fireworks at my uncle’s farm when I ran out of punks, so my dad gave me his cigar to use to light my remaining explosives. I had to keep puffing on it to keep it going. I didn’t get sick, but I still have a small scar on my arm where I burned myself with the cigar.
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Good one.
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I can imagine the art director saying, “Wait! The red suits aren’t quite red enough! They must be redder. And the blue suits – can’t they be a little more electric blue?”
So what’s with the salmon pink suits with the teal shirt lapels?
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🙂 🙂
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i can remember when the boys were younger we would sit out back and shoot off the fireworks for the family and the friends who would come over. we came home from our amnnual june trip to yellowstone through south dakota where they have all the good stuff so we could be as reckless as we wanted. i never thought of it as violent just festive. the noise that ent with the bottle rockets and the roman candels was par t of the excitement. one year the midle kid had his friends over and they got into the roman candels and started lighting them off while we wer foing the bigger stuff that went up and did the spders and spinnys in the sky and whil i was preoccuopied they started roman candle wars with the little balls of color that would launch every 10 seconds until the firework was used up in a minute or two, well if you aim that at the other guy behind the bushes ytou can get his attention pretty good. we had 16 year olds runign all over the place firing off rounds of red blue and green and getting them back in return. i was concerned about someone getting a yellow one in the eye but it never turned out to be anything other than exhilerating.
if i nknew there were other verses to star spangeld banner i had forgotten. thanks dale and that pic of the earth is one of my favorites. back when we were still new to space and the noion of our planet being free standing thing out ther in the universe was something that captured peoples iaginations. today youd have to have to blow it up or have it be inhabited by zombies to make an iotta of difference.
happy 4th all.
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While I have generally enjoyed firework displays when I was younger, I’ve never liked the stuff that just makes noise, and I’ve never cared for the smell of any of it. As I have gotten older, wondering what all that noise and color in the sky does for all the animals and birds out there has greatly reduced my enjoyment of the displays. Poor things must be scared out of their wits. Happy 4th!
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I’ll bet that would be sobering, for someone to do a video of the wild animals’ reactions to fireworks that unexpectedly invade their habitats.
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i am afraid they must be scared out of their wits 90% of the time. as soon as they let down their guard they learn they shouldnt have
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Wonderful. Thanks, Linda.
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Daughter and friend and best friend are off to the city fireworks. They have set off several of their own, and will set off the remaining ones when they return from the city display.We have moved all the vehicles down the block. Dog is safe and secure with dad. There are fireworks and floating, kite-like, lit up floaters gliding over our neighborhood. It is a perfect night with no wind and a clear sky.
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Right now it sounds as though our small city is under siege from some invading army.
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I was just informed that yesterday, daughter and best friend set off an enormous explosive that fell and proceeded to knock over our grumpy neighbor’s garbage can and shot lots of sparks at our garage door. (I have seen the scorch marks). Best friend’s mom came across the street and fake-scolded the girls so the grumpy neighbor wouldn’t call the police.
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sounds like a good time was had by all. was the coffee shop a busy destination on the4th?
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