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Ask Dr. Babooner

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Dear Dr. Babooner,

My boyfriend says he absolutely loves the Minnesota State Fair and if I care for him I’ll go and enjoy being there all day every day for 12 days straight like he does, every single year.

I think that’s asking a lot, even of me.

We are ALL Dr. Babooner
We are ALL Dr. Babooner

And I am solidly in the Fair Fanatic demographic. I am the only person I know who actually enjoys eating cotton candy. I look forward to riding the Space Needle, and I have no trouble finding thoughtful things to say while taking a very, very close look at the eyelashes of a pig. I have a high level of tolerance for mundane things even though I do sometimes think while watching another endless hour of butter head sculpting that the unbridled passion for new frontiers and unique experiences that was the hallmark of my youth is now very much a thing of my past.

But do I complain or balk? I do not. I go to The Fair because it pleases him, and when he’s happy, I’m happy.

This year, however, I’m thinking of cutting back a little, like maybe going every other day. Or maybe just once – on Wednesday. Did you realize that The Fair has only one Wednesday? I think that makes it a rather special time. But I’m afraid when I suggest it to my boyfriend he’ll think it just means I don’t love him anymore. That’s not true, of course. But if I’m forced to go to the stinking fair with him every damn day again this year, it might become true.

Sorry, I slipped a little right there. What I mean to say is that I’ve come to the conclusion that having everything in excess is not very satisfying, and I’m starting to cherish the small, rare, quiet moments.

I don’t think there’s anything about The Fair that’s small or quiet. I suppose the beef is rare, but that’s because it’s still on the hoof.

Dr. Babooner, am I asking for trouble by trying to back out of my boyfriend’s tradition of Total Fair Immersion, or might this strengthen our relationship?

Sincerely,
Already Had Enough Mini-Donuts And Pronto Pups

I told A.H.E.M.D.A.P.P. that a person should never feel pressured to do something distasteful for love. Being honest with your boyfriend is always the best policy, and if he genuinely cares for you, he’ll understand. But if he’s on the fence about you, the fair is the best possible place to meet someone else who unequivocally shares his total fascination with this annual event. Eleven days there alone is more than enough time. In fact, you may not even need to go on Wednesday. Wednesday is the sixth day of the fair – and the midpoint. The most intense animal barn smells will just kicking in by then, but your relationship could already be history.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

56 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Wait just a minute here, let’s have a little balance shall we?

    You are all concerned that if you don’t give up 12 days of your life in Total Fair Immersion (TFI) your boyfriend will be unhappy?

    How much time do you suppose your boyfriend spends considering what it is that might just make you a bit unhappy?

    One sure way to find out- make a deal. You spend as much time at the Fair doing what it is he wants as he is willing to spend doing what you want (even if what you want might just be something that does not involve him at all).

    That said, looking forward to the day next week (Tuesday, I believe there is only one Tuesday in the Fair as well) when I continue training the s&h to be a considerate Fair companion. He spends as much time looking at the quilts and flowers as I spend with the pigs, fish and bunnies. (full disclosure, I enjoy the pigs, fish and bunnies-he does not hate the quilts and flowers). We geek out at the Eco building. We have a short list of must have Fair food, we do not venture far beyond it. New foods this year look either disgusting (cheese curds breaded in Cocoa Krispies? why?) or involve dead animals. We’ll pass.

    oh yeah, and the antique tractor display that is what is left of Machinery Hill. Then I get soaked on the River Ride, and we’ve pretty much covered our bases.

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  2. i think that going to the fair to please your spouse/significant other is the american dream. maybe you could tell him that your favorite thing at the fair is the tunnel of love and the cheese on a stick and root beer are the two favorite food at the fair and you could spend the entire 10 days in line for the tunnel of love with a runner to the booths across the way (the root beer is right across the street and the cheese n a stick is just down the road and around the corner. why bother doing anything else when the tunnel of love only runs ten days a year. obviously you need to take full advantage of it and if your partner doesnt understand this it shows that there is a problem and you will need to reevaluate the relationship. make your partner the sane one and then it will be possible to point out that all or nothing is a doable thing anytime they want. tunnel of love and root beer my sweetie???

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  3. Good morning. Already Had Enough, it seems to me you are at a turning point regarding your boy friend. If you do want to stay with this guy, you need to talk talk to him and see if the two of you can reach a compromise. I like the fair, but I agree that 12 days at the fair is too much. How did you put up with that? Two days would be plenty for me. Tell him you are not faring well at the fair because he has not been fair.

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  4. AHEMDAPP, I love the Minnesota State Fair, and I haven’t been able to get there for 30 years! I moved to ND, where public school starts the third week of August, and I have had to get children off to school just when the fair gets going. You should count yourself as lucky to spend every day at the fair. Now that I no longer have children in public school, I think my chances of getting to the fair have increased a great deal. Daughter is going to the fair to a Macklemore (sp?) concert next week.

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  5. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Well Dear AHEMDAPP, suck it up and assert yourself. If this is the issue that takes down the relationship, then it will never last anyway.

    Had you been a member of my family you would have been expected to rise at 5:30am once a year for many years to accompany me to TLGMS State Fair Show. You would have arrived at about 6:15am with a thermos of coffee and mini-donuts on the first Friday of the SF to watch the thing go on. Still one of the Great Pleasures of my State Fair Career. By 4pm you would be back home and napping.

    We all have our little State Fair oddities, like the Fair itself. 12/12 days is your BF’s oddity. Soldier on.

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    1. at my house it is understood that the fireworks is complete then you go home. we have brought others and they cant comprehend the extended enthusiasm. you either got it or you aint

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    2. got to a couple of the morning show shows but not at the crack of 6. my kids are tough to move at 5. getting the whole fam damily going at 630 0r 7 was a major achievement.

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  6. Morning all. I want to know what the boyfriend does for a living because who can AFFORD to go to the fair every day every year. Between the cost of food and rides and all the things you realize you realize you just have to have from the booths in the Coliseum, I’m almost broke after just one day. And I start out ahead because I can get the tickets and the little blue coupon book at work using my award credits instead of cash!

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  7. In my opinion,12 days of the Fair is way too much if you’re not actually working there (it’s probably way too much even if you are working). I wonder why your boyfriend is insisting on so much togetherness. Doesn’t he have friends he can go to the Fair with? Couples who insist on sharing everything and spending all of their free time together are kind of creepy–my partnered friends all have their own circles of acquaintance and fields of interest that can but don’t necessarily overlap, and that’s fine with everyone. Your boyfriend might need the help of a counselor to find out why he’s so clingy, and what the Fair represents for him emotionally that makes you being there so important to the relationship. If he can work that out, then your relationship will be stronger, and you can stay in the air conditioning for a few more days.

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    1. I so agree, CG. I like the Minnesota State Fair – in moderation; going all day, everyday, for twelve straight days sounds like a nightmare to me, and, as vs points out, would be very hard on the pocketbook.

      I also have never understood couples that insist on dragging each other to events that only one of them enjoys. I was lucky enough to win two free tickets to this year’s Barnfest and asked husband if he wanted to go. He said he did, and we went. After a couple of hours there, he wanted to know how long I intended to stay! You’ve got to be kidding me, I replied, till it ends, of course. Now, I don’t enjoy being anywhere with him when I know he’s bored or unhappy, so I found myself a ride back to our house with a couple of friends, who, like me, planned on staying till the end, and he drove home alone. Can you imagine leaving a folk festival before John Gorka plays? As it worked out, husband enjoyed taking the scenic route home alone, and I enjoyed a couple of extra hours of good music and a long visit during the ride home with two old friends.

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        1. Not familiar with the Art barn, Steve, where is it? He did take a lot of photos, meandering all over the grounds, a couple of which turned out really well.

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        2. Oh, I LOVE the art barn. If you come in through the East entrance, take a right on the first street and go past the Education and Crafts barns. The Art display is about there. I could spend half a day there.

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        3. all the art form the school kids ? everything from hand carved rocking chairs to chess sets to watercolors to pencil drawings, age goups from 1st grade through high school. and the shop projects with high mpg cars and fighting robots, villages made of cardboard boxes. thats a great stop.

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        5. Steve, I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing. Do you mean the Art barn at the State Fair? I was talking about Barnfest in Redwing.

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        7. i always wonder what people freak out about at the dentist. i never have had an operation that was a big deal. root canal, extractions grind it down for a crown, all sounds bad and the grinder thing makes and awful noise and the feel of the motion is weird but not to uncomfortable. now i like most drugs but novocaine is not one of them . i take it only to keep the pain masked and by golly it works great. have a wonderful trip to the dentist pj. deep 10 second breaths is the current excersise of choice for dealing with high stress. in and out for 10 in a row ought to do it. be sure to breathe through your nose at the dentist. and call me in the morning

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      2. glad you worked it out. has he healed up completely from last weeks ordeal? i love barnfest and wish i cold have made it this year, i cant imagine leaving early but i do enjoy quiet country roads too but the roads are there all the time, and the red house gang at barnfest is a once a year event. my wife and i used to do a lot of stuff together, she has grown toward introvert stuff (liked your facebook post last night pj) and i enjoy my self time but like doing stuff too. no problem for me being on my own if the guilt is not dished out with the separation.

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        1. Thanks for asking, tim. Yes, he’s back in the swing of things, and feeling better than he has in a while. I, on the other hand, am freaking out right about now. I’m having the abutment for a tooth implant put in this afternoon, and after reading the four pages, that I must initial and sign off on, of everything that can go wrong, my anxiety
          level is skyrocketing.

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        3. And expensive to boot! When all’s said and done, I’ll have invested around $5,000.00 in one tooth, and there’s no guarantee that the operation will be a success. I’ve never had a tooth implant before, and despite tim’s reassurances, and the TV ads that make it sound like a snap, I could use a stiff drink right now. Perhaps some breathing exercises would work better. Come to think of it, I’d much rather hold a boa constrictor for an hour than subject myself to this one hour procedure.

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        4. In the clinic waiting room yesterday.
          Nurse: “George, come on back.” as George drew near she added, “You’re the next contestant.”
          George said, “Yeah, but the price is wrong.”

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        6. thailand week of massage a stay at the hyatt bangkok and a little time to see the sights is still less for teeth work than here. there an implant is 250.00. its done in a shopping mall like going in to have your nails done. you can bring your stiff drink in with you if you like.

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        7. Somehow that doesn’t sound enticing to me at all. I would require an awful lot of booze in order not to care about someone with a long drill, drilling into my jawbone.

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  8. i do love the fair and i go usually at least 3 or 4 times. this year i have a new son in law for kosovo who got to go last year but only once and within a week of returning form honeymoon and still aclimating to america and minnesota, thisyear i have hm on saturday and a new buddy who moved here form wisconsin who has never been to the mn state fair before that i will be taking after work one night next week. then a trip with the girls and their friends and one family day where we doall our stuff other peoplejust cant keep up with us on. must dos are the newborn animal barn upon entering, all the barns, they change the poultry and make it bunnies and other stuff throughout the fair, the art building the quilt building the sales stuff under the grandstand the machinery hill tour including but not limited to the tour of the trailer homes and travel trailers along wiht the walk that was a favorite for my kids much longer than they should ghave been interested in from general mills though the way food is made.(not recommended) the humane society dog building where linda puts in her volunteer time, the food building the international thing that used to be mexicn village (those noodles are really good), the flower building multiple visits (the flowers change every day) bob deurrs snake house (remember bob on casey jones) the leinenkugal stage the stage over by the dnr the stage over by the art building cheese on a stick corn on the cob expresso, curds of course (only the original) falafel king in the food building, root beer, chocolate malt, bucket (yes the mega bucket) of fries (my mouth is watering) the tunnpel of love, the wcco booth, fond memories tempered with anger and disappointment at the mpr booth, checking to see if amy or al are around, always end with the kids going through the haunted house. they are getting kind of big but still laugh remembering a short whil ago when my youngest came out wrapped around some strangers leg while i waited outside for their report. the guy was laughing so hard it made his haunted house visit a memorable one too. can we get ann reid to write us one more tune? we ought to be able to youtube it huh?

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    1. I get winded, and my feet hurt, not to mention that my stomach is all upset, just reading that agenda, tim. You’re made of way better stuff than I, no doubt about it.

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  9. What tim said. Teenager and I do all these things (except the snake house). We’re set for Sunday this year….

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    1. the snake house is a dollar. bob needs the dollar. check it out ( by the way the snake pet store on the corner of university and raymond is a destination not to be missed. cooooool) bob worked on lunchtime with casey back in the 60’s i think as a representative of the como zoo, since then he loks forward to the fair and school invites to show his snake collection.

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      1. Yea, well, I don’t care how much Bob needs the dollar. Sorry. Despite having touched several snakes in my lifetime (was determined that Child not be afraid of snakes just because I was) and knowing in my brain that they are dry, my HEART knows that they are slimy. No logical but just the way it is. If Teenager wants to go to snake house, I sit outside.

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  10. I think several comments above have given excellent advice about the relationship part of your question, AHEM. But I understand your dilemma about how many days to attend the fair. IF I had that much money, I can see the wisdom of going multiple times. Last year was the first time I really did the fair properly (with a guide). This year I want to do and see and eat and drink all the things I loved from last year, AND all the things I didn’t have time/energy for that I said, “Oh, I can do that next year.” Hmmmm…

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  11. This has animals in it so I call it fair rleated (or as close to the fair as I can get); The joys of reading more than one book at once:
    First this morning I read in “Hotel du Lac” by Anita Brookner, “It is my contention that Aesop was writing for the tortoise market.”
    Then I read in “Letters from my Windmill” by Alphonse Daudet, “The story you have just heard is not of my making. If you ever come to Provence, our tenant farmers often tell you, of M. Seguin’s kid goat, who fought the big bad wolf all night before he ate her in the morning. Think of it, Gringoire, the big bad wolf ate her in the morning.”

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  12. AHEMDAPP, if you are starting to “cherish the small, rare, quiet moments,” and your boyfriend insists on going to the State Fair for 12 days every year, your relationship is doomed. Dump him.

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  15. When I first moved to Minnesota (40 years ago!), I was temping at KSTP and they gave each employee a ticket to get in to the fair. I had bus fare plus about $2.50. I had quite a good time just seeing everything without spending more than that. So it CAN be done but it is nice to go with a bit more cash.
    #2 son and I have decided that since the Fair is always basically the same, we don’t “need” to go every year so we alternate. Because it’s so much the same and time all runs together, it can be hard to remember if this is an “on” year or an “off” year. I think this year is “off” so the key is to remember that we go on even years and skip the odd ones.

    I don’t think I can imagine going for 12 days. I went twice last year so I could vote for B-A’s ice cream and then again with #2 son. That was quite enough.

    I think that A.H.E.M.D.A.P.P. should be honest with Mr. Goes To The Fair Too Much and should only go as much as she wants. It can be uncomfortable for the Enthusiastic person to worry about whether or not the Unenthusiastic person is having a good time. Of course it doesn’t sound as though M.G.T.T.F.T.M. is tuned in to what A.H.E.M.D.A.P.P. is enjoying or not (and he doesn’t seem to care). That would be a relationship killer for me.

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  18. I don’t understand your reluctance, A.H.E.M.D.A.P.P., but if you really don’t want to go, just schedule a knee replacement or conveniently slip into a coma every year around fair time. You’re off the hook and boyfriend can go.

    Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

    – Oscar Wilde

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