Travel

The Great Gulch

32 Comments

It isn’t too often that we get to pin a name on something new since everything here has pretty much been seen already and called something-or-other by somebody.

scenic_overlook

But a new opportunity may have emerged with the mapping by radar of an amazingly extensive canyon in Greenland. Accounts say that to behold the still-unseen geologic feature is an experience that is breathtaking, in that you would have to be under two miles of solid ice to see it.

That’s exactly the sort of detail that can take all the fun out of tourism. Scientists say the Mammoth Furrow is not as deep or as wide as the Grand Canyon, but is much longer (470 miles to 277). But it would be worth the trouble of burrowing and shivering and enduring the bone crushing pressure of the ice sheet above to be able to stand on the rim of this frozen wonder and give the thing a name.

In the one story I read about the feature, it is repeatedly called “the canyon”, which is undeniably an accurate description but it lacks poetry. I think we can do better, so here’s our chance. Let’s name it! Less is more. Let’s keep it short – five syllables or less. “The Grand Canyon” has an undeniable power that comes from a magical combination of brevity and majesty. The bigger a thing, the shorter its name should be, I think.

I’m a sucker for alliteration so of course I’m attracted to “The Great Gulch”, “The Greenland Gap”, “The Terrific Trench”, “The Deep Divide” and “The Swell Swale”. But it’s important to speak to a modern audience, so there’s a lot to be said for something like “The Totally Awesome Valley”.

Let your mind roam to sights you have seen (or wish you’d seen) and names that have made you want to visit a faraway place. Because at the rate our climate is warming, we may get a chance to gaze on this thing yet.

What would you name Greenland’s vast under-ice canyon?

32 thoughts on “The Great Gulch”

  2. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    It is too early to name something! Maybe later today. Right now it is too hard to even come up with words to type. Must be the coming weather change causing sluggishness. Next comes the headache.

    Coffeeeeeeee…….

    Like

    Reply

  6. ill bet the lighting could be wonderful what do you prescribe ben? backlighting 400 ,iles of canyon with led’s and changing the color and intensity. light it form up top or back behind? all within the confines of the wonderwomb in ice

    Like

    Reply

    1. 400 miles takes a lot of cable. I bet God in his glory can do some pretty wonderful things without my help. Especially filtered through the ice above.
      Low light gives the most dimension and opportunity for color.

      Like

      Reply

  12. What’s wrong with Mammoth Furrow? Dale called it that in his post. Might there be Mammoths frozen in it? I think Mammoth Furrow is a great name.

    Like

    Reply

  13. Well, let’s see…
    The Cool Coulee
    Freya’s Freezer
    The Great Goosebump Gorge
    Shiver Central Station
    Ice Station Alpha
    The Hypothermia Hippodrome

    See, I slip into titles that are suited to books/stories with that kind of ‘pulp fiction’ feel that I like…
    Ymir’s Maw (Ymir was the Norse frost giant)
    The Skadi Abyss (Skadi, or more precisely Skaði, was the Norse goddess of snow and winter)
    The Boreas Arena (Boreas – Greek god of the North Wind and winter)
    Chione’s Kiss (daughter of Boreas, goddess of winter)
    and I know this last one wouldn’t be an actual name of something but I thought it could be a cool story title:
    “Third Base with Jack Frost”

    Like

    Reply

      1. “Even a man who is pure in heart,
        And says his prayers by night
        May become a baboon when the boonbane blooms
        And the Moon is full and bright”

        Like

        Reply

        2. BiR, I found the quote that tim was altering, shall we say: “Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.” from The Wolf Man (1941). Without the Google, I wouldn’t have had a clue.

          Like

  17. ARRGH. I need to make something clear. When I suggested the Holy **it Hole, I wasn’t calling the newly found canyon a “you-know-what hole”. I meant Holy **it! Hole … with a hyphen between the first two words … like Robin would describe it to Batman. Maybe I should replace it with the Holy Crap Crevice. That’s all I need is Greenland mad at me.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment