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Stuff Upstairs

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Imagine being the Norwegian art collector who happened to have a painting by Vincent Van Gogh stashed in the attic. The work had been identified as a Van Gogh over a century ago, but it was subsequently dismissed as a genuine masterpiece both in 1908 and 1991.

Well now it’s back, and in 2013 it’s a superstar. All is forgiven, “Sunset at Montmajour”. You’re legit!

If you happen to own the painting this is good news investment-wise, but it’s got to sting a bit aesthetically. After all, nothing about the artwork itself has changed. It is no more lovely today than it was last year or fifty years ago – the only difference is that the experts now agree it is an authentic Van Gogh. Sure, you can put the painting on display and draw admiring throngs, but remember you’re the one who had it stashed in the crawl space for years – tucked under the eaves with those moth-eaten area rugs and Grandma’s chipped china.

What does that say about your eye? Are you unable to appreciate beauty for its own sake? Or did you deliberately ignore the work because it had a spotty history and other people put it down? Does the brand name really mean that much?

In any case, this is very bad news for people trying to kick a knick-knack addiction or those in the professional clutter-reduction industry. Because nothing keeps an attic (or a basement) full of crap as surely as the notion that “some of that stuff could be worth a few bucks.”

Artist's Approximation of Captain Billy
Artist’s Approximation of Captain Billy

But remember, that cuts both ways. Your unidentified attic treasures could be lost with the next pirate landing. I sent this story to Captain Billy, the skipper of the rogue ship Muskellunge, and he assured me that no matter where the riches are stashed, he and his boys are likely to unearth them, even if they’re not in the earth.

As swashbucklers are wont to do, he shared some drinking song lyrics that speak to the topic.

When pirates swarm across a port
they has techniques of every sort.
There’s some that comes in with the tide
and ravages from side to side.

While others who is much maligned
sneaks up on cities from behind.
But all of them, or so I’m told,
relies on maps to find the gold.

They looks for signs and uses stealth
to target ostentatious wealth.
No matter what the markers show,
there’s no direction they won’t go.

If “X” is drawn upon the ground
A hearty pirate plunders down.
But if it’s buried overhead
He’ll pillage towards the roof instead.

What’s in your attic?

97 thoughts on “Stuff Upstairs”

  1. The remains of wasband’s hoarding – 25 pairs of all sizes of ice skates; boxes of VHS tapes; enough Xmas lights to stretch several miles; five blenders; 20 pairs of skis; 100 LPs; and, and, and…………….Someday when I’m gone,
    my kids and grand kids will have to spend at least 2 full weeks up there plowing through wasband’s treasures.

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    1. There is a tragic quality about his hoarding. He specifically collected garage sale crap that helped him fantasize about himself. He imagine he would be a photographer, so he had photography books and three darkroom enlargers. But he never set up a darkroom. He imagined he would be an artist, so there are boxes of junk related to that fantasy. He liked to think he would exercise, so the garage once held three recumbent bicycles, none of which was functional and none of which he used. He had so many dreams of what he might someday become, but all he became in the end was an archivist of his own failed fantasies.

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      1. Some things that I have stored away could be considered as junk related to failed fantasies. There is still a chance I will make use of some of this stuff. I am trying to eliminate the things that seem to be related to totally unrealistic plans that I had at one time.

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      2. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. I’m guessing that most of us have at some time or another bought something with every intention of using it and then never did.

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      3. Excellent summary, brother. The way you paint is is really sad – that a person could spend/waste an entire lifetime this way. On the other hand, I am the one housing the leftovers and that’s annoying.

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        1. Freecycle works great. An easy and free way to pass on stuff you no longer want or need to someone who can use it. I use it all the time.

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      4. A more generous interpretation of that impulse (generous because it applies to me) is that things that represent free time and growth and new interests, like specialized tools and equipment and, yes, books hold a special power. Accumulating those things expresses a yearning for the time to utilize them. It’s not necessarily a self-aggrandizing fantasy, just a mismatch between the life one lives and the life one would like to live.

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        1. Your generosity is appreciated, Bill. And to be sure, we all have dreams for ourselves that are not realized. But in this case, the mismatch between aspiration and accomplishment was staggering, as well as the accumulation of stuff that was never touched after being added to the hoard of such stuff.

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  2. Good morning. We still have too much stuff in our attics which we have been trying to square away to get ready to move. Our home has 3 separate attic-like storage spaces sharing the second story with two bed rooms. Those spaces are now only about half full and were nearly completely full. They have been one of the main storage areas for all kinds of stuff we have accumulated over a thirty year period: magazines; old rugs; extra suit cases; kids toys; etc.; etc.; etc. We continue to work on sorting out that stuff, but I think there will some things that will still needs to be sorted out right up to our moving day.

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      2. “If in doubt, throw it out” has always seemed to me to be a singularly useless piece of advice. It’s the element of doubt that makes the action impossible, when coupled with the knowledge that I have an extraordinary capacity for regret over lost objects.

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        2. Somehow “if in doubt, keep it” doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I bet you or another Baboon can come up with something!

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  4. my attic is an invention of my own. the house i grew up in maintained a reasonable amount of stuff. there was no attic there were 3 4×8 foot plywood shelves in the garage. this accommodated christmas ornaments, old train set, maybe a box of magazines along with my dads hunting duffle bag and there was always room for more stuff. my mom had a large portfolio type of envelope with art form the 4 kids and that was about it.
    i started with the trunk of my ca full of treasures form the back seat to be sorted later. i remember bill who i shared an office with being appalled when he saw my trunk so full of overflow there wasnt room for a pair of socks. he showed me his trunk which when he opened it showed a empty void. he picked a piece of lint out and said thats what a trunk looked like. i looked at him and he was for real. he was trying to tell me to grow up to be like him. i couldnt imagine anything more repulsive. yeah there were gas receipts and unmatched socks along with stuff picked up along the way. the trunk would get full and id get a box or two from the store and throw it in the corner of my room. id get ot sorting later and as time went on i ended up getting behind a bit. by the time i finished school my dad had found a storage place with one of his frends to store samples in. i put my boxes and garage sales finds there and all was fine until the break ins and vandals. my cool stuff thrown around the room buy hooligans. taught me to prioritize my junk. keep the good stuff close by. so now i have awarehouse that was initailly rented to run my business out of with truckloads of products going in and out and has evolved into a storage space of products i offer on ebay and craigslist. it has gotten out f control to the point that the attic above my garage that houses christmas lites, snowboards, clothing form the other season. suitcases, sporting equipment. boxers of books and magazines i will certainly be reviewing one day soon, camping gear and my vision of exactly where my personal medicinal hemp plants will be growing when i get those new led grow lights plugged in. with the new technology in lighting the electrical bill doesnt go up like it used to i understand. kids art and term papers are in a large envelope waiting for me to go through it and make a scrap book. i can do that when im an old guy…. better get started. lets see do you install the tin foil and insulation before the lighting or after?

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    2. “…i will certainly be reviewing one day soon”
      This is the phrase that is the downfall of your plan… heh heh.

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  5. Let’s see, what do we have stored in the attic? Three old Macintosh 512K computers that husband is convinced will be worth money some day. A barely used electronic keyboard; a Danish modern easy chair that needs to be restored to its original glory, and a couple of old suitcases, without wheels, that are already heavy before you put anything into them. That’s about it. Now, what’s stored in the basement, that’s a completely different story.

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    1. And happily, that round oak table isn’t down there (or up there), since it’s comfortably ensconced in BiR’s dining room – meant to tell you PJ how much use it’s been getting, and was especially fine to have when the kids were here.

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  6. I have barely poked my nose into our attic. It is only accessible through my bedroom closet – one of those affairs where you have to move a panel aside in the ceiling. Doesn’t have the decency to even provide its own ladder, I have to haul one up. Consequently my attic holds little more than Jacque’s – though there may well be evidence that a critter or two has lived up there along with the hot air. The basement on the other hand…well…um. I don’t have 3 exercise bikes or photography equipment (wait – no – I think I may still have an old SLR lurking down there – I can’t remember if I sold that…). I do have 3 drills, 2 circular saws, a reciprocating saw and at least one scroll saw. Also a large piece of tabletop glass that we haven’t been able to get rid of (oy) and Girl Scout Cookies in the freezer.

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  7. Morning all. Love the lines “They looks for signs and uses stealth, to target ostentatious wealth.” Thanks Dale!

    My attic is pretty well organized… the off-season clothing, all the home decorations for the various holidays (most of which aren’t coming down these days thanks to the whirling dervish of the kitten), our sleeping bags and air mattresses for camping, suitcases and the treasure trunk…. an old trunk with items from Teenager’s babyhood and childhood.

    Oh and the couple hundred LPs that I have no idea what to do with but can’t bring myself to just toss.

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    2. might be time to bring the lps down again. play the good ol music on a turntable. its wonderful. turntables can still be found pretty cheap. garage sales, craigslist, ebay or the needle doctor.

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      2. We have a working turntable, and lots of LPs. Our Marantz, high-tech amplifier, however, has no place where we can plug the turntable in. It seems that with each new device we have purchased over the years, we have lost the capability to listen to music on one kind of media or another. LPs and tapes are history for us, and when our old CD player went kaput we couldn’t find another single CD player. We now have one those 5-CD changers, and I don’t like it one bit. Aaaaargh!

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    1. i used to have the garage that youu see where the door opens and there isnt anything that vcan easily be reached or anything of much value. my wife is a park the car in the garage person and that is one of her traits i have come to appreciate. i never had a garage to park in before. all you need is a 10,000 sq ft warehouse

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      1. 10000 sf? Wow. I’d worry that my stuff would always expand to fit the space available to fill it. Been having the urge to purge lately, probably presaging downsizing once retirement and old(er) age hit our household in a few to several years.

        Chris in O-town

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  9. My attic is filled with stuff my daughter and erstwife left behind when they moved. There is a big box with every paper my erstwife wrote in college, plus all the research material accumulated for the Ph D thesis in English that she planned but never wrote. I’ve often thought I could chuck that stuff, but my erstwife is emotional about stuff that documents her life. I might spark a real conflict if I put that in the dumpster. One of the fault lines in our marriage is that she is a hoarder and I am a chucker.

    Then there is all the stuff Molly left. For example, my mother-in-law (a brusque person) once presented Molly with a dozen miniature dolls, saying, “These are for you little doll collection.” Molly protested, “I don’t HAVE a miniature doll collection.” Esther shoved the box of dolls in her hands and said, “Now you do!”

    We might have some old camping gear up there, too. I wonder if we have the Coleman lantern that used to blow up, over and over, when it was running. That thing started our dogs and did not make us welcome neighbors in state parks.

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  11. Our now 110-year-old former house in North Mankato has this great attic, high gable roof down the middle, , two such roofs really, like a T shape to store stuff. Also had an old cistern. It belonged in books. Mostly it held our children’s stuff. About the time we sold was the time they were ready to reclaim it without any prodding from us. Lucky timing. But Becca has terrible timing about some things. As of today 9/11 she is 41 and she has been married 14 years.

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  13. My current attic has the same contents as Jacque’s, due to the fact that the access is just like Anna’s, except that to even get a ladder into the negligible closet that contains the access panel, everything including the shelving must come out.

    I’ve never really lived in an house with an attic, hence my bungalow envy. IF I had an attic, it would be my workspace.

    So glad we are not discussing basements today.
    Read once that if your clutter is in your attic, it means your issues are with the future, if your clutter is in the basement, your issues are with the past.

    I’d like to have a real attic someday, so I could put that to the test. On the other hand, I would really hate it if I suddenly started having issues with the future without getting rid of the issues from the past.

    I hear ya, tim. Warehouse!

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  14. I’ve always loved attics in old houses, and the only one I ever really had got made into our living space. Our “attic porch” off the bedroom has mostly my dolls – 2 from childhood with all the trimmings, and a collection of garage sale Barbies I got when Lola was coming over most Wednesdays. (Alas, she’s outgrown them.) And a really old single bed, some suitcases… but most stuff needs to be hauled in for winter because it isn’t insulated – the spring thaw gets things damp and mildewy. Luckily I have an inner closet in my closet that serves well for off season stuff.

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  15. We have no attice to speak of. All the junk is in the basement, along with hundreds of books. I worry what will happen to the books when my husband and I are no more. We have emotional attachments to many of the books that are personal and will die with us. Perhaps by that time we will have grandchildren who will insist that they get some of the books. Son and daughter love books, but I don’t know that they will have room to take all of them.

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    1. my grandmother had lots of stuff and she about a year before she died decided to start spreading it around, she gave me a book for my birhtday. then she died. the rest of the stuff got tossed because her daughter the executor thought it was to much trouble. i got one book to remember her by. start earlier rather than later is the message.

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      1. My message is different, tim. I had several boxes of very old books that belonged to various ancestors of mine. My mom gave them to me. It suddenly dawned on me this summer that I didn’t want all these fragile books and maybe somebody else would want them! So I asked my cousin who is really into genealogy, my two sisters, my niece, and my kids. Oh, and my mother’s cousin. They all wanted some – from one book to two boxes full. So I am in the process of mailing them out – and I am keeping one that belonged to my grandmother. One book to remember her by is enough for me.

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      2. I had the job of taking care of the things left behind by my Aunt in her apartment when she was no longer able to live there. In that case there wasn’t much I could do. It would cost too much to put her things in storage and there was no one who could help me or who would have much use for almost all of her things. I took a couple of boxes of items I thought I should keep and I had to pay to have all of the rest of the things removed and discarded or sold by the person who was paid to do that.

        My Aunt only had about a year left to live and she fully cooperated with my efforts to close up her apartment. The apartment was in the Bronx where she had lived for many years my herself enjoying an independent life away all of the rest of her family. My Dad and other family members did keep in contact with her mostly by phone or mail. I keep some of her paintings. I doubt that she will become famous, like Van Gogh. She was a graduate of the University of Wisconsin where she was took courses in studio art.

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      2. In March my son and d-i-l were going to send me a IPad 1 that were not using. But for a variety of reasons he never got to it. Then in June a friend gave him the most basic Kindle reader, with which he fell in love, despite having an Ipad 4 and other tablets (he needs them for work). Since I was not getting the IPad, I ordered the next level up of Kindle, so it would be back lit. I love it. I loaded it with lots of classic literature to read and reread (all free) and a few new items. As my son says, it is a library, all backed up on free cloud. This is one of the reasons I do not miss my library. Then my daughter came back from Seattle last month with the IPad. Love that, too. It has become my office in a way as well as another reader.

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  16. The topic of attics holds a special meaning for me. When I got the diagnosis three years ago, it stunned my primary care doctor. When he ordered the fateful endoscopy, he assure me that, “99% of the time, it’s nothing”. I always wished I were in the 1% club, just not THIS one! He later offered a metaphor for this unfortunate outcome. He said, “It’s like we went into the attic to rummage around for something, then noticed that there was a drip coming through the roof”. The “drip”, of course, was the discovery of a tumor low down in my esophagus. I felt then and still do feel foolish for not having told him about my occasional difficulty swallowing pills for over a year because this thing got a whole extra year to develop into a Stage 3 growth. Still, I’m exceptionally grateful to have faced the countless gifts which came along with cancer and have made it from a 15% survival chance all the way up to 50%. Apparently, you get credits for each year of survival.

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  17. Can’t believe I forgot to check the Trail today! I’ve never had an attic–in the old house everything was in the basement, while in the duplex we have closets and part of the garage–but most of what I have stored is still the ancestral crap I’ve complained about several times before. Another thing I have lots of is jewelry that I don’t wear, but I can’t bring myself to just give to Savers. Much of it is silver and thus has some value if I can figure out where to sell it, some were gifts, and some has spiritual or other significance. A friend of mine is taking a silversmithing class, so if he really gets into it I could maybe give some of it to him to actually use. I also still have about 1/3 of my childhood stuffed animal collection, because I can’t possibly look at their little faces and abandon them. When I was forced to throw some away due to mold damage from a leak in a storage unit, I was traumatized for weeks…

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    1. I know the feeling, CG. I inherited my dad’s Teddy bear from when he was a little boy. I loved that bear all through my childhood; one of my few childhood possessions that mom didn’t give away. So when I immigrated to the US, my Teddy bear was hand carried on board the plane, and spent the entire trip in my lap. It survived a couple of years in Cheyenne, but during my junior year at SIU I noticed that it was leaking what looked like sawdust. It had somehow gotten infested by termites. Teddy was ceremoniously burned on a funeral pyre in our back yard; still miss him.

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      1. That’s a sad story, PJ. I got a teddy bear when I was five. I almost loved him to death, but was proud of keeping him with me with each move I made. Then, in great financial distress, I rented three rooms of my home to a couple. The woman in that couple had strong ideas about homes and what belonged in them. After she and her husband left, my teddy bear has not been seen. At least I have a good photo of him.

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        1. That’s all I have left of mine too. A large black and white photo taken of dad when he was perhaps two or three years old with Teddy sitting on the floor beside him. It hangs in our dining room.

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  18. I once thought it would be fun to collect attic stories. There are many, such as “Neverending Story.” Some of the Narnia stories. I stumbled on a the start of a SF/fantasy series last winter. N. D. Wilson’s “100 Cupboards.” I read the book and gave it to my MN grandkids’ babysitter (a simply wonderful, very smart, sassy, 17-year-old free spirit). She has fallen under the spell of the book, waiting for the others. She has communicated with the author.
    Jamie Ford’s “Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet” is an attic sort of tale. I have communicated a bit with Ford.I know many on here have read it. His second book is available as of yesterday as an ebook. Not sure about hard copy. “Songs of Willow Frost”. It sounds similar to Hotel. I have not ordered it. I may order it when I am in Seattle.

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      2. By the way, Clyde, I am presently greatly enjoying your copy of “Blue Highways”, which was one of the books you sent up in a box to one of the Blevins meetings. I had always meant to read it, but it had somehow slipped through the cracks. Though a little dated at this point, it’s nevertheless outstanding. I also took home the book about the Essex, which is one I’d meant to read. Thanks!

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  20. “Stuff” has been on my mind a lot lately. The attic has some small storage areas and that’s where we keep Christmas decorations and some of Robin’s craft and art paraphernalia. That’s not really the problem. The problem resides in the basement. That’s where the overflow goes, where the extra furniture we can’t fit in the upstairs and yet can’t bring ourselves to discard, where out of season clothes are stored and surplus artwork and, most problematic of all, my books.
    Some of the books are relatively contemporary and I wouldn’t have too much trouble letting them go except they make up important parts of subcollections I have accumulated. Many of the books were published in the nineteenth century and some of them are quite scarce; I value them not only for their content, but also for the connection to history they impart.
    I’ve occasionally put together a box of books I happened to have duplicates of and taken them to antiquarian book dealers to sell. While they are generally interested, the prices they are willing to pay are minimal. I have generally regretted the transaction. In a way, it’s not even about the value of the books as much as it is finding a home for them where they will be recognized and appreciated.
    Robin and I have discussed downsizing sometime in the next five years or so. Before that happens, I need to solve the “stuff” problem– not just in terms of books but in terms of all our accumulations and that includes becoming more judicious about new stuff we allow into our lives.
    Ironic, isn’t it, to find ourselves in a society where having too many possessions can become such a paralyzing problem.

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    1. I hear you, Bill. I am determined to lighten my load and what I’ve done so far has been very freeing. It’s been A Lot of Work, but worth it (but ask me after the yard sale is over if it’s still worth it). Books were (are) a huge part of my belongings and in a way they helped define me as someone who loves books. I used to look around at my books and feel like I was surrounded by my friends. But then that feeling gradually changed to one where I felt burdened by having so many books. So many books that I hadn’t read yet. Others that I wanted to re-read, but hadn’t yet. Books that needed to be dusted (fat chance of that happening). Meanwhile I kept reading books I checked out from the library and books for BBC. And I would go to book sales and thrift stores – and bring home more books. Finally, I realized that I had a problem. Not having a group called Book Buyers Anonymous to help me, I decided to help myself. I went through my books a few times – and I will probably have to do it a few more times – and asked myself questions like “Will I ever read this – or will I ever read it again? If so, is it available at the library or cheaply as an e-book? Is this book special in some way – beautiful illustrations or one I just like too much to give up?” I’ve cut my collection in half so far – I will never give up all my books – and hope now that all those “discards” will leave the house during the yard sale. It will be fun to see people find books that they will enjoy and use.

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      1. You should be the keynote speaker at the first Blevins Book Buyers Anonymous meeting. Sounds like a lot of us on the trail could use a 12-step program for our books!

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        1. VS – I’ve been meaning to say THANKS for the fun card you sent me to celebrate the birth of my twin grandsons! You’re great.

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        2. Well, VS, if you like having lots of books around, it’s not a problem. I have nothing against lots of books (and even after whittling my collection down to half or 1/3 of what it was before, I still have hundreds of books – some people would look at what I have now and not believe I used to have at least twice as many). It was just that, after a while, my books got to be a burden. Instead of just being there for me like friends, they started to make demands: “Read me. I’ve been here for 5 years and you’ve never even looked at me. Why am I here if you’re not going to read me at least once a year?” and so on. The demands and the guilt got to be too much for me.

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      2. Sandy and I did our downsizing in steps. Four-bedroom, three floor house to two bedroom one floor condo to three bedroom apartment (much smaller than the condo) to two-bedroom apartment. I am not the one who need that thus far four-step program.

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    2. Maybe you could rent a corner of tim’s awarehouse…

      Do you have any old hardcover bird books, Bill? The one from my childhood, now lost, had a red cover embossed with gold, a full page picture of each bird… I’d know it in a second if I saw it, and I check regularly at any used book place…

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    3. I come from a family that didn’t save family relics. My Teddy bear was really my sole possession from my childhood. No drawings, letters, first grade books, nothing. My most cherished possession from my childhood home is the photograph described earlier, and my dad’s seaman’s book, a book that documents all the ship’s he sailed on during his career and the duration of each voyage. It’s tattered and of no “real” value, but it’s as close a documentation as I have of dad’s career.

      Husband on the other hand has a wonderful book that his mother assembled (very casually) of notes he wrote to her, wish lists of things he wanted for Christmas, and so on. When husbands father died in 2002, he inherited a bunch of “stuff.” Furniture, paintings, dishes, rugs. I recall sitting down and crying when the container with all this “stuff” arrived. I felt as if our house was being taken over by his family and his past. What was really difficult for me to sort out, was that a lot of this “stuff” was valuable in the sense that it had resale value. But we kept it, even though we didn’t care for much of it, simply because it was an asset. Suddenly our home had become a storage facility for family heirlooms that neither of us liked. We have finally started to cull these things. It’s a slow process, but we are both keenly aware that at this stage of our life, and with no kids to pass this “stuff” to, it behoves us to find someone who will appreciate these things for what they are. I still think the most precious thing is that book compiled by husband’s mother, and that, of course, has only sentimental value.

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  21. What’s in my attic? Books on shelves – but a lot less of them than there used to be. A bed. A dresser. Clothing in boxes under the bed. Lamps. Chairs. One footstool. And on the other side of the attic – Baby stuff. Wooden blocks. Dollhouse and its paraphernalia. Winter clothes and boots. And some Junk.

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  22. In the attic, insulation, an air handler (part of the A/C equipment installed by the Metropolitan Airport Commission as part of their noise abatement process) and no more dead pigeons or pigeon poop.
    Near the attic in what was formerly the kitchen of what was formerly an upper duplex, there are boxes of costumes, sets and props, a drum kit, a beautiful head for a Chinese Dragon. A friend taught singing, dance, and dramatic arts at St Paul Talmud Torah for 25-30 years until the school fell on hard times and eliminated whole grades of students and teachers a few years ago. She lives in a house without a basement (in Minnesota, why, yes). She couldn’t bear to get rid of her theater stuff and knew that I had some empty spaces so there it all sits. Every once in a while, she’ll come looking for one thing or another. Since it’s not mine, it doesn’t bother me much.
    If I were to die suddenly, my lads wouldn’t know how to contact Shira. I should address that.

    I’ve had some help decluttering and I’m not TERRIBLE at it but I find that once something is boxed or on a shelf, it doesn’t feel as much that it has to be addressed. There are boxes here and there that have not been looked at for a decade or more. Probably don’t really need what’s in them.

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    1. Oddly enough, I think I would probably know how to contact Shira in a round-a-bout way.
      Should you suddenly find yourself in extremis, rest assured, this little chore will be taken care of 🙂

      I say this as someone who randomly frets about this sort of thing-there is a possible Baboondocks topic, I’m thinking–stuff we worry about, even when we know it’s silly.

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  23. Count me among those with no accessible attic. When I first bought the house I had an energy audit, and the woman from NSP poked her head up into the tiny opening in the closet, and said the insulation looked sufficient. Nothing much larger than a toaster oven would fit through the opening, so storing unused furniture up there is not an option.

    I have some attic envy – I’d love to have a big space with shelving and a few odd chairs and other relics. My house was built when storage was not considered a necessity. A small closet on the first floor, another small closet upstairs.

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