Dear Dr. Babooner,
Recently I made a very public attempt to live out an ambitious dream by suspending myself under a whole bunch of big balloons with the announced intention of riding the wind across the Atlantic Ocean. My reasons for wanting to do this are not very sophisticated. I remember thinking as a child that with enough balloons, a strong piece of string and a tight grasp, a guy could travel just about anywhere.
When I grew up I gave it a try and discovered that with all three of those things a guy COULD travel just about anywhere. And I mean anywhere. Especially if the winds are changeable.
Upon lifting off with all my big balloons and setting a course towards London (I can’t really set a course, of course), I discovered that I was floating towards the North Pole instead. But then I remembered what Diana Nyad said about pursuing your goal single-mindedly and never, ever giving up. When she swam from Havana to Key West in shark-and-jellyfish-infested waters, she proved that a person with enough determination can, through perseverance, write her own story.
So I considered calling Diana Nyad to ask her if she could grab the rope in her teeth, jump in the water, and tow my balloon cluster at least 90 miles closer to England. But I decided that would be cheating.
Eventually I landed and gave up, even though I could probably have survived all my altitude and direction problems. I wanted to accomplish something that would give my life some meaning, only to realize that life is too short to waste a lot of time trying to manufacture meaning for a thing as ephemeral as life, especially if you need a lot of balloons to do it.
I mean, sure it was a dream. But not a dream that HAD to come true. It was just an interesting thing I thought of one night while trying to come up with a way to get out of school the next day because I hadn’t done my homework. I managed to get out of fourth grade anyway so I guess the need for a daring balloon escape isn’t quite so urgent. But I’d been telling people about for years, so I felt like I needed to follow through.
Now I’ll have to explain to my friends and family, who financed me and cheered me on in this wacky notion, why I’m not a big fat loser. Any suggestions?
Lightly,
Flo Tation
I told Flo there is no reason to explain anything to anybody. You tried to fly ACROSS AN OCEAN using A BUNCH OF BALLOONS. Even in your Fourth Grade Fantasies, this ended badly more than half the time (although in those cases you were usually eaten by dragons and sea monsters). Accept the attempt as a learning experience, a life lesson, and a story you’ll always be able to tell. And if it gets you a chance to meet Diana Nyad, I say you’ve come out ahead.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
Thanks Dale, I totally missed this story.
C’mon Flo, you’ve crossed the Alps and the Channel with a bunch of balloons, how can you consider yourself a loser? A lot of us can’t even get a balloon all the way home from a birthday party.
Some of us have much tamer dreams and never begin to attempt them because we think, “that would be crazy!!!”
You actually gave it your all and failed, but lived to tell the story.
I agree with Dale, I think you are on the winning end of things.
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🙂
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Rise (really!) and Float Baboons!
I am with Dale and MIG–hold your head up and let go of the self-conciousness–um, like a balloon. You lived out the fantasy of the movie “UP”. No one else can say that. Meanwhile, I have questions–Hows cold was it? Was the scenery worth it? How did you control where you went?
Wow.
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Didn’t control where he went…. that was the problem!
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I had no idea that there existed such a thing as a seasoned cluster balloonist! I think you’re lucky to have survived this, Flo, those rapid ascents and descents can’t have been very comfortable. I agree with mig and Jacque, you have nothing to be ashamed of; how many attempts did Diana Nyad make before she succeeded in swimming from Cuba to Florida? Like Jacque I have all kinds of questions I’d like to ask; maybe we can be friends on Facebook so I can ask them?
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I really like “seasoned cluster balloonist.”
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Men tend to be hung up over goals and how people see them. Women, in my experience, are better at enjoying the trip even if it doesn’t succeed at hitting the goals originally intended for it. The men I used to hunt with were hung up about getting limits of birds. The women could be delighted in a hunt that yielded a handful of daisies.
When I tried to hike the length of the Superior Hiking Trail I learned (the hard way) halfway through it that I didn’t have the personality needed for that trip. I couldn’t handle the loneliness. Rather than feeling myself a failure, I was happy to have had the adventure for a dozen days and I was interested to learn things about myself. Two years later I went back and did what I’d set out to do before, only on that trip I had human companions for half of the trip. It helped that I could view my first attempt as valuable learning rather than a failure.
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OT – Happy birthday, Beth-Ann. She celebrating with, what else? an ice cream social at work today. Have fun.
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HB, B-A!
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Ditto
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quintitto!
What kind of cake goes best with Mini-donut Ice Cream??
Bet it is mighty fine with apple pie……
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Double ditto.
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Tritto!
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Double, double, ditto.
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Quadruplo! (maybe that’s the same as double ditto). In that case Pentuplo!
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Happy birthday, Beth-Ann!
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I don’t think you should give up on your dream, Flo. Took Diana Nyad a few decades to realize hers. Keep trying, you’ll either earn yourself a place in the record books or become a sort of ballooning Stassen and give the news operations something fun to cover.
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“a ballooning Stassen,” love it.
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All right, gotta admit I don’t get it – who Stassen?
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Former Minnesota governor who became known as a perennial candidate running for one office or another, most notably President of the US.
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I think he ran for president about 10 times.
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Good morning. Flo, I don’t think you will have any trouble explaining your failure to reach your goal. Probably you are just a little down hearted right now because you had to call it quits. In fact, it seems to me that those people who stood behind you in your attempt to cross the ocean will probably also stand with you as you recover from not being able to make that crossing.
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I dreamed once that my big reading armchair was flying–it was the first flying dream I’d ever had (lots of falling dreams, no flying ones), and exceedingly weird. Props to the person who decides to make a dream like that a reality, but honestly, Flo, you’re not a loser, you’re slightly nuts and very lucky to be unhurt, undrowned and otherwise undamaged. Be grateful!
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Wasn’t there some other nutcase that did something like this in California (or was it Oregon) ? I’m with those who say thank your lucky stars you’re still alive!
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He was from California. Where else?
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Do any baboons remember Lawnchair Larry who, back in 1982, took flight in a ordinary aluminum lawn chair tethered to a bunch of weather balloons he had filled with helium? He brought along a parachute, a CB Radio, a couple of sandwiches, some beer and a pellet gun. The thought still cracks me up every time I imagine a passenger in a commercial airplane looking out the window and seeing Larry, sitting there in his lawn chair, at an altitude of 15,000 feet. To get back down he had to shoot some balloons, but he accidentally dropped the pellet gun before he had shot enough, so he came down very slowly and eventually crashed into some electrical wires. He survived relatively unscathed.
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Wow, Lawnchair Larry – really? Some people do the craziest things.
OT – PJ, I saw your comment about books for the Free Little Library and I responded in yesterday’s comments on baboondocks.
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Thanks, Edith I’ll check it out.
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Walters’s story inspired the 2003 Australian romantic comedy “Danny Deckchair”. I saw that movie last year. It is actually a sweet and funny film that I would recommend.
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My acrophobia is making my stomach flip just thinking about this. I don’t even do the Skyride at the State
Fair.
terra firma, I like it right under my feet, not hurtling toward me at terminal velocity.
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Me too. I clicked on a video this morning of some buy who climbed up a ridiculously tall building with no supports and then parachuted off. I couldn’t even watch it until the end!
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Yes, I think this is what I was thinking of, PJ …
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I think Lawnchair Larry and I have a lot in common. I never went floating around hanging from weather balloons. I did do some floating and seemed have had trouble getting back to solid ground. Also I landed in bad places and survived relatively unscathed. I think Lawnchair Larry and I have gone a little beyond Flo when it comes to having trouble staying air born.
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Sounds like there might some interesting stories in there somewhere, Jim.
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Mostly I am just referring to the way I seem to have blundered around trying to find my way. I would say that most of it isn’t all that interesting, although there might be a few interesting stories in there some place.
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It had to be done.
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Love your sense of humor, Holly, but really, did you have to dot this? Who needed to be reminded of this? Not me!
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We really should have seen this coming… worth it just to see the costumes!
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It still amazes me that people dressed like that because it was “the style” and didn’t question it much. Of course, what choice did we have when that’s what was in stores.
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I agree… why bother explaining yourself, Flo? You’re courageous and just nutty enough to pull something like this off. Now go get back to work on the navigation problems and try to figure out how to incorporate a few more balloons. Lawnchair Larry’s got nothin’ on you.
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i have a new addition to my bucket list. too cool to pass. i love it. hit the ocean go to 21000 ft. let the winds carry you where they will. i really like it.
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