Role Models

Today’s post comes from perennial sophomore Bubby Spamden.

Hey, Mr. C.,

The school year at Wendell Wilkie High is off to a great start. I really, really love my Political Science class with Mr. Boozenporn.

US_Capitol

He started out the year being all stern about how the rules were going to be enforced this time and EVERYBODY had to have ALL their work done EVERY day. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Mr. B. said it was necessary because the big test next April will show whether we’re able to learn anything or if we are as dumb as a Target end cap full of Miley Cyrus CDs. “Your futures hang in the balance,” he said. “Will you be a success? Only YOU can decide.”

It was a good speech except I’ve only heard it two thousand times before.

But some kids got kind of stressed over that and a couple of them were actually talking about working hard this semester. That’s how intense it was. But then Alicia Nugent spoke up and said “Mr. Boozenporn, would I be a success if I got elected to Congress?”

Mr. B. assured Alicia that he would consider her a success if she did that.

And then she said “Mr. Boozenporn, what will happen to YOU if we boot that test in April?”

Mr. B. admitted he would be in serious trouble if his whole class booted that test.

Then she said “I’m sure I speak for most of the class when I say, Mr. Boozenporn, that you are not in the best bargaining position to make demands. Rather, we have demands for you since we control the only variable in this equation – namely – our performance on said examination.”

Alicia went on to explain how she could, with the help of just a few of our brainiest classmates, totally ambush the school by choosing to perform poorly on the test. And they could pull it off, too. Because it’s easier to get a question wrong if you know what the right answer is to begin with!

Mr. Boozenporn considered this for a moment, and then lectured for the rest of the hour on integrity and the importance of trying your best to do the right thing and blah, blah, blah, blah and boogety boogety and something about the opportunities we’ll have (or won’t have) in the future.

I didn’t hear too much of it because I was kinda falling in love with Alicia Nugent right then.

But Mr. B went on. Booting a test on purpose, he said, especially that big test in April, would be like the carpenter who recently shot himself in the chest with a nail gun. He seemed pretty sure we wouldn’t do that to ourselves and undermine our chances at success.

But then Alicia said … and this is why I kind of have an enormous crush on her … “But you already said I’d be a success if I got elected to Congress. Are the people in Congress the ones who got good grades, or are they the ones who were willing to wreck everything just to get their way?”

We all jumped out of our chairs and did a standing ovation. It was a totally awesome moment, like in one of those Spunky Teen movies, except one that’s really, really cynical all the way to the end.

Mr. Boozenporn gave her an “A” right there on the Machiavelli unit, and then told her to be quiet.

Still, I really love that class and I’m thinking of asking Alicia go to a movie with me. Should I?

Your (still a) sophomore pal,
Bubby

I told Bubby he should definitely ask Alicia out, but he might not be bright enough to hold her attention for long. Picking a good movie is key, but consider the showtimes and locations carefully. After all, the theaters are likely to be full of furloughed Federal workers.

Seen any good movies lately?

61 thoughts on “Role Models”

      1. Back yesterday. My body does not want to adjust to time change or something plus my allergies, which were non-existent out west, came raging back in the middle of the night. I’m going to Panera.

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  1. Good morning. Somehow the last Netflix film we received accidentally turned out to be the 2005 version of King Kong. We got it by mistake and decided to watch it. is it good film? I don’t know It has an amazing amount of special effects including some very strange scenes where giant bugs and other weird creatures nearly kill the character played by Jack Black and the others with him. It’s a strange drama somewhat like the strange drama we currently have in Washington and probably the kind of drama that Bubby would like. Alicia might be a little too smart to be impressed with Bubby’s choice of films if he takes her to see this one.

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    1. i saw the jessica lange and jeff bridges one at the theaters back when. i liked that one. i saw the fay wray one on saturday morning a week or two ago and was thinking how the special effects worked even on that version. i guess i can wrap my brain around the presentation and fill in the blanks. todays fx are something to behold. sean connery got upset that he was playing second fiddle to the chase scenes and fx on james bond films before he quit. today they could just insert him by computer.

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    2. I was not impressed by the Peter Jackson 2005 King Kong. Too many effects. Too much attempt at shock value with monsters. Jack Black is a horrible actor, IMHO. And, to me, it just came off as cheesy.

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  2. Like Clyde… big fat No. Not only have I not been to the movie theatres since last Christmas Day (tradition — open stockings, eat cinnamon rolls, go to the movies), I don’t have any of the movie channels on my cable. I don’t have Netflix and most of the time when I have the TV turned on, I’ve got it turned to something I’ve already seen (comfort TV). If you put the current hot actors and actresses in a line-up, I doubt I would know any of them. Guess I won’t have much more to say today!!

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      1. (not in particular order)
        Gone with the Wind
        Murder at 1600
        Citizen Kane
        When Harry Met Sally
        Jumpin’ Jack Flash
        Bishop’s Wife
        It’s a Wonderful Life
        Prancer
        Murder on the Orient Express
        It Takes a Thief

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        1. good list
          fell asleep watching citizen canse last night
          its a wonderful life would make my list. i watched when harry met sally last week because of some comment that you made. I see billy crystal is coming to town i sure wish i could go see that one.

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    1. They, and you know who they are, just do not make movies for me any more. I am THE non-target demographic. And Sandy. We used to call them Sandy movies for her, the devoted reader of Harlequin type romances. My wife’s two big wishes for the trip were to ride the Bainbridge ferry because of Debbie Macamber and to see the Sleepless in Seattle area. She did both and they were all she wanted them to be.
      I am planning to get Netflix soon to watch old movies. Our last movie was a Sandra Bullock because my wife likes her. It was not the current one. About an FBI agent and a Boston cop. My wife has finally given up on going to movies. It was trite, old and worn out, foul, small-minded, about nothing but making money.

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      1. i saw that one where she was the computer geek . i liked it. netflix is worthwhile. do you have a computer or something you can plug into the tv. its a requirement if you want to do it right otherwise you are watching on a little computer screen. the tv hook up is easy with a single cord and the cost of those tvs is nothing now if you dont own one.

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        1. My son gave me a generation 1 IPad. I have all the wires to watch on my TV. Just waiting until trip is over to start it. I need to get an external hard drive for my computer. No room at the inn for the 484 pix I brought back. I got some wonderful pix, especially a mile up Rainier at Paradise.

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  3. i saw a wonderful japanese movie on tcm yesterday morning early. i went back to check the websight and the stopped just prior to my movie. i cant find it. it was beautiful cinematography and a classic old movie line. kind of ang lee with beautiful colors and beautiful actors. sorry i can come up with the name. most of my movies come from the oldies stations on tv these days. i have a list of stuff on netflix but never get to it.

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  4. i do have an extra ticket to margaret atwood at the fitz tonight if anyone would like to join me. i think it starts at 730. its general admission so i will be getting there earliesh.

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      1. sure . i can be there early but need to consider the general admission nature of the beast and avoid the nose bleeds. you want to call margaret and set something up?

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  5. garrrison tickets for tomorrow and thursday at the fitz are free. but you either have to pick them up or show up for his new book launch and reading.

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  6. Welcome home, traveler. Minnesota is such a healthy place: just don’t breathe the air.

    The best film I’ve seen lately is available to those with Netflix. Lone Star, the 1996 John Sayles film, is one of the most intelligent and enjoyable movies I’ve seen. It is like a giant Swiss watch, with gears spinning within gears, everything there for a purpose, and it all works. The film examines almost every kind of relationship you can imagine: father/son, Hispanic/Anglo, black/white, old wetback/new wetback, brother/sister, and many more. It is also one of the funniest films I’ve seen. The IMDB quotes just go on and on because the writing is so good. I love a film where there are plot surprises that, when you reflect on them, make perfect sense.

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    1. We get Netflix. I enjoy almost all of the films we get. I don’t know why I have trouble remembering films. Within a few weeks my memory of the films I have seen often seems to be erased from my mind. I don’t think I have seen Lone Star. We should put it on our Netflix list.

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  7. I can see I’m the outlier in this group–not only have I been to the movies this year, I really liked one of the blockbusters: Iron Man 3. I’m a sucker for the Marvel films anyway, but Ben Kingsley completely stole the show…no spoilers, but the Mandarin turns out to not exactly be what you think he is. I also saw the last Miyazaki film, “From Up on Poppy Hill,” which was pretty as usual but a bit of a disappointment plotwise–“We’re in love but we think we might be siblings!” is an anime trope so tired it’s taking medication for narcolepsy. I skipped “Man of Steel” because the reviews were so mixed, and saw “Dark Knight Rises” but really wish I hadn’t. One of my friends called Dark Knight “the first anti-Occupy film”, though YMMV.

    Nice twist to the essay, Dale! The last thing I was expecting at the end of that was a question about movies!

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    1. OK, OK… I have to admit that I did watch Iron Man and Iron Man 2 on TV over the summer. It was right about the time that Iron Man 3 came to the theatres and one of the movie channels was having a “free weekend”. I did enjoy them but I have to say that I didn’t sleep well that night after 4+ back to back hours of Iron Man….

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    2. Agreed! I thought IM3 was great! I skipped MOS too…every time I thought I wanted to see it, I’d see another trailer and think, “No.” DK Rises was unsatisfying. Hey, are you coming to FallCon this Saturday? 10am-5pm, Education Bldg on the Fairgrounds! I’ll probably be running around like a crazy person. Special guest is Mark Waid!

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      1. Yes, we got free admission, so we’re going to check it out. We’re having to put one of my roommate’s cats to sleep on Friday, so we’ll be in serious need of distraction. He’s a sweet, shy guy, and I’ll miss him…though not as much as she will, of course.

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        1. Thatguyinthehat, I don’t think I know any of the volunteers (though I might), but I do know people who work at Uncle Hugo’s and didn’t want the comps. Thanks for the condolences. He’s old for a male cat (fourteen), but though he’d been losing weight for a while, this came pretty much out of the blue. We were still getting over the news that he was going blind from cataracts. And, he’s such a good-natured cat that it’s particularly upsetting to be losing him. We’ve moved the appointment up to Thursday because we’re afraid he’ll be in pain if we wait any longer. It’ll still be touch and go until then.

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  8. I am always years behind on new movies. I put them on my Netflix queue and and think I’ll get around to them someday. Then I end up suspending my Netflix account because I usually feel I’m too busy to watch movies. I think the most recent movie I have seen was the Woody Allen one, Midnight in Paris. Fill me in on what I’ve missed since then. It looks like we will soon have some good weather for curling up with some hot apple cider and a movie.

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    1. Fans of Alexander McCall Smith’s “Number 1 Ladies Detective” books have a treat if they are on Netflix. Some of the books have been made into movies. Most movies based on books are disappointing, but the director was Anthony Minghella, who so brilliantly adapted The English Patient to film. These films were shot in Botswana and have all the naive charm of the books, plus the location film will help you visualize the books.

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  9. Our movie viewing has declined sharply in recent years, so sadly, no. Haven’t seen any “good movies” in terms of those I’d urge friends or family to see. Recent views were “The Butler” and “42”, both of which I enjoyed, but were nothing special. I seem to either have grown impatient with movies, or require more from them to impress me.

    Last year, movies that stood out for us were “Argo,” “Side Effects,” and “The Avengers” which I’d put in that “good movie” category.

    Even though “Argo” was purported to be a complete fabrication and reworking of the facts of the Iran Hostage Crisis, it was a tense, gripping, well-told story, as long as one checked one’s sense of reality at the door.

    “Side Effects” was a terrific suspense movie, withi great plot twists near the end, an excellent ensemble cast, intelligent and fast-paced.

    Believe it or not, “The Avengers” was pobably my favorite movie of 2012. I likened it to the Indiana Jones movies for sheer entertainment value. The special effects actually added to the movie rather than distract from the acting, which is something I hear happens much too often–visual effects overshadowing flawed stories and weak acting. “The Avengers” was just a good old “save the world from destruction at the last possible minute when we think all is lost.”

    Last, a movie I enjoyed mainly for it’s excellent sound track was “Joyful Noise” with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah. The story was a bit hokey, but all was forgotten when the cast started to sing. I put it in the same category as “Mamma Mia,.” but with real singers rather than big name actors who sing a little bit. It was painful to hear most of those actors sing, especially Pierce Brosnan. But how can you go wrong with Abba providing the soundtrack? As a “child” of the 60s and 70s , ya gotta love ’em. Those particular Swedes sure knew how to write a hit pop song.

    Chris in Owatonna

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    1. I adored “The Avengers.” It’s one of my favorite films. The other Marvel films were good, but it all came together in that one. Mark Ruffalo is Bruce Banner, far as I’m concerned, I don’t care what the Ed Norton fans say.

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      1. I missed the others, not a huge comic book hero fan. But, yeah, Ruffalo was surprisingly good as Banner. All I’d seen him in before were made for TV romance movies that were pretty syrupy.

        C in O-town

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    2. Avengers was pretty cool. Ruffalo was the best Banner/Hulk. Hiddleston as Loki is magic. I still think the Chris Evans is a weenie as Capt. America. The rest of the casting was great. The story was…ok…alien invasion again?… But it was a lot of fun.

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  10. Morning–
    I had to laugh, like CG said, I thought that was a long way around to asking if I’d seen any good movies lately.

    I watch a lot of movies. Or parts of movies that I catch on late night TV.
    This past weekend daughter and I went to ‘Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs 2’. It was fun. Lots of puns; some for the adults, some for the kids. Not rocket science, but then it wasn’t expected to be rocket science… just fun.
    We have netflix and get the DVD’s because our internet is limited. Daughter goes through a movie / week. I have two movies; one I got in March and one I got in June and haven’t watched either one yet.
    Since we don’t have cable, I see movies on, whatever it’s called, ‘This TV’? ‘My TV’? I don’t pay attention to that part of the commercial… But it’s lots of ‘B’ movies from the 1980’s it seems. Not many are very good. The best part is seeing todays hot actors just starting out.
    Last night it was ‘Loverboy’ with Patrick Dempsey at age 23.
    Saw parts of ‘Silverado’ and that was fun. (They’ll replay the movie three times so if I don’t see it all the first time, I can see other parts the next time.)

    Daughter had the 1957 TV version of ‘Cinderella’ with Julie Andrews on Netflix this weekend. I think she watched it 10 times. I admit Julie Andrews is good, but not that good! 🙂

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    1. If I were asked to summarize Blue Jasmine, it would be, “Shallow, self-absorbed, completely unsypathetic but beautiful woman exploits those around her and is exploited in turn by them. When she runs out of people to exploit, she has a breakdown rather than deal with her situation.”
      No arc to the story that I could detect. The acting was good, but, then, that’s her job, isn’t it?

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  11. We haven’t been to any movies lately. Is it our age? What have we been doing? Everything else under the sun. I do look forward to the second part of the Hobbit this December. I think my problem with movies has to do with my aversion to any sort of suspense. I would rather watch old movies I know then endings to.

    Rain mixed with snow is in our forecast for Friday, so look to your gardens over the weekend, Twin Cities Baboons.

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  12. I’m taking notes here… I really enjoyed Silver Linings Playbook. We usually only see movies at home or at the Riverview in S. Mpls, so our choices are limited…

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  13. Movies? What is a movie?

    Gosh – when WAS the last time I went to a movie? I can’t even remember – much less, remember if it was good or not. The only places I normally see movies is when I check out DVDs from the library or go to the Riverview. But the problem is I usually forget to go to Riverview for any movies I want to see until the movie is finished. And if I am on a waiting list for a DVD from the library, invariably it arrives when I am too busy to watch it – and there is only a one-week checkout. OR three or four of them arrive all the same week and I am lucky if I manage to watch one of them. And often I’m not in the mood for it any more, after putting it on hold several months previously.

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    1. I thought I’d seen every Peter Sellers movie in existence, but I haven’t seen that one. Will have to see if it’s available on Netflix.

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    2. Holly – I adore this movie. I don’t know anyone else who had ever heard of it. I think it might have to replace one of my top ten movies on my earlier list!

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  14. When I think of all the books I won’t have time to read unless I live to be 150, I start thinking, maybe I’ll just get the movie versions from Netflix. Most of the movies can be finished in under three hours. Who has time for Dickens any other way?

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