Dear Dr. Babooner,
I was traveling over the Thanksgiving holiday and found myself in the San Francisco airport suffering from an undue amount of stress because I had just been told by an unsympathetic gate agent that my baggage was headed to Cincinnati while I was returning home to Minnesota.
I have spent all my life suppressing feelings of rage and I was in the process of quashing these latest destructive urges as well when all of a sudden I found myself on the edge of a hysterical screaming fit. It was as if every bit of frustration I had experienced for any reason at any time was going to come pouring out of me in the form of an extremely dramatic tantrum.
Just then, a volunteer approached with a dog that was wearing a “Pet Me” vest. I fell to my knees and hugged the animal as the savior that he was while his handler explained that several dogs had been dispatched throughout the airport as a stress-relief measure.
She explained that this particular dog, whose name was ‘Toby’, was exceptionally good-natured. “Toby has never done anything inappropriate,” she said. “He is a model canine citizen.” She noted that Toby had already pulled several distressed travelers back from the brink of madness that very day.
As I petted Toby I felt years of built-up rage leave my body – not just the anger that had erupted over my lost baggage but anger tied to the emotional baggage I had started collecting the day I was born. I was elated to sense these poisonous feelings were leaving my body, but at the same time I noticed that Toby’s eyes got wide and his muscles tensed up. The more I embraced him, the more relaxed I became and the more agitated he seemed.
I told the volunteer how very grateful I was for the relief Toby had provided. As I watched them walk down the concourse, I watched Toby’s gait stiffen a bit, and when they were right in front of a crowded TCBY I was horrified to see Toby pause, glance over his shoulder at me, wink, and poop.
Now I’m concerned that I have poisoned Toby with my years of accumulated stress and may have turned him from a “model canine citizen” into a very naughty dog.
I’d like to find Toby again and take back some of my offloaded negativity so he can live a happy life. But I don’t know what sort of human-canine interaction would allow stress to flow the other way. Do you?
Sincerely,
Dogwrecker
I told D.W. I”m not aware of any way you can recover stress from a dog once petting that dog has removed it from you. Canines are notorious for being possessive, so don’t even try. As for the ‘evidence’ that Toby’s emotional equilibrium was upset by D.W.’s rage transfer, a little bit of awkwardly placed poop is a small thing in the universe of potential dog mischief. For me, the real question raised by this story is this: How do you teach a dog to wink?
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
had a dream that was like a salvadore dali movie last night too. i think in your dream the dogs poop is the release of all the tension. suck it in, process it and get rid of it. there is nothing wrong with relieving ones self. inappropriate is in the eyes of the beholder, toby cleared you and then itself. nothing inappropriate there.
this reminds me of the dream sequence in the gregory peck ingrid bergman hitchcock movie with the dali scene.
dr baboon. if you have a perscription for what you are giving dog wrecker i think i might like to try some of that
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huh,
didnt embed?
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In the middle of the night my five-month old Kindle reader froze up. It happened before and they taught me what to do, but in my druggy, sleepy state I could not remember. I called support, got a person the first ring. She told me what to do but told me that they were sending me a new one to arrive Wednesday. Now that seems Daliesque. Did that really happen or was it the Ambien?
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yes
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Good morning. I would say that when it comes to the relationship between dogs and people, the dogs usually come out ahead. Of course, many dogs are mistreated by people and then the dogs don’t come out ahead. Otherwise, don’t believe and that dog whispering stuff or those dog trainers. Dogs train you, you don’t train them. I think, Dogwrecker, you were just sent a message by the dog and he was more clever than most using a wink as part of his act. Don’t worry about what you did to the dog. That dog was undoubtedly manipulating you more than you were manipulating the dog.
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Rise and Shine Baboons:
DW–You think way too much. Probably the source of all that rage and stress. You might want to consider doing some Mindfulness Practice focused on LETTING GO of some of this. You are worried about passing on your rage to a dog? Did you somehow mistreat the dog? HMMM.
Meanwhile, Steve, could you update me/us on your house project and your moving plans? I was so busy in November that I missed much of this. But I have gathered that you have a big life change coming up. Maybe moving to Portland near your daughter?
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Good to hear from you Jacque. I’ll reply in an email.
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I think the weak link here is the dog handler. She must be easily fooled.by her dog to think that he is a perfect model of canine citizenship. Dogwrecker is a little too self centered. Why does he assume that it must have been his rage that affected the dog? He wasn’t Toby’s only intervention that day.Toby seems like a perfectly normal pooch to me. You must remember I live with an unscrupulous terrier, a dog always on the make, always looking for the main chance to create mayhem and mischief. My dog doesn’t wink. She just gives me the finger in her own doggy way.
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I’d like to see that.
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Morning all. As someone whose life is completely run by all my furbags, I’m with Renee. The minute you open your mouth about how well your animals behave is when they will do something to make you look bad. I had friends over to help trim the tree on Saturday and as we sat and looked at our handiwork (with hot chocolate and cookies), my Samoyed walked right up to the tree and calmly took an ornament off and started to walk off with it! Baby gates are now up for the duration of the holiday when I’m not home. Not that this stopped the kitten… small pool of ornaments on the floor under the tree when I came downstairs this morning. SIGH!
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Our ornaments are generally safe – it’s the water for the tree (since we get real trees) that is not safe. The cat especially seems fond of the slightly sap-y water. And no food can be in any presents left under the tree unless it is in glass jars – otherwise the dog *will* steal it and eat it. Current and prior hounds are/were both food thieves. Barney is less likely to thieve than Norma, but she was the queen – she got mini donuts out of a zipped backpack, chewed her way through a plastic bag and factory-sealed plastic wrap to get to chocolate truffles (with fragrant, though not toxic, results), snagged a loaf of cranberry bread from the kitchen counter while the family ate dinner (several of us had line-of-sight to the kitchen counter and didn’t see her take it), nabbed half a head of lettuce off a different kitchen counter, licked the top of the cream cheese on an open bagel perhaps figuring she might not get scolded if she didn’t actually eat the bagel (tongue marks on the cream cheese were a bit of a giveaway though – eeew), snatched a hamburger that fell on the ground next to a grill mid-flip before any human could get to it (she was halfway across the lawn, the human was right next to the grill and burger)…yeah, I miss Norma. 🙂
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We had a cat that liked to crawl through the Christmas tree eating tinsel.
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And thus, with our two delinquents, we will not be having a tree this year.
We will, however, be hanging the new-to-us mega-wreath tonight.
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I am very well-trained by my animals… nothing goes under the tree at all until right before Solstice. An earlier Irish Setter ate several gifts over the years, including a small box of bath salts, chocolates (yes, chocolates – this dog devoured many chocolates in her lifetime and still lived to 14), popcorn strings, a pretty-smelling candle and even a pair of fluffy socks. I’m assuming that the socks had a good smell, maybe from sitting next to something else or maybe somebody had something good-smelling on their hands when they wrapped them.
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Renne, our mixed breed dog seems to be mostly or completely a terrier and is also always on the make. Every dog that I have had trained me more than I trained them. I think the best way to get along with dogs is cooperate with their people training programs.
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My mother used to refer to my prior hound when talking to the choirs she directed as an example of perfect relaxation in preparation for singing. Just lay back and put your paws in the air and let out a good howl…I highly doubt there was an ounce of anxiety in that dog (unless there was a thunderstorm – then she got drugged for the duration of the storm). Current hound is much the same. Barney can be a very good dog, but some days that’s just not on the agenda (like all of the times when he can go with me to buy wine at my local dog-friendly liquor store and enjoys the trip just fine…until that one time he decides he needs to “mark” one of the barrels being used for display…oy…though I’m sure he’s not the only dog to do that). It is, as Renee said, pretty self-centered to assume that one interaction with a dog is going to ruin them. Guessing that pooch just really needed a good pooh and was trying to give DW something to giggle about.
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Dogwrecker has something in common with all of Dr. Babooner’s clientele: he takes himself too seriously. In this case, any dog that pulls a stunt and winks is a dog that was on the path to iniquity long before Dogwrecker came along. And I agree that the handler needs some reality-based therapy, too!
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i noticed that toby spelled backwards is ybot. i think this dog in dogwreckers dream is actually a sign that society is being over run by automation. did you see the deal on 60 minutes about the drones that are going to be delivering all the pacakges for amazon after they get approval in 2015 from the faa. a million drone delivery vehicles making the jetsons look like the flintstones before we get too far into the millenium. the suitcases are in cincinnatti in a couple years it wont matter the drones will drop them off at the front steps for you before you get home. maybe we will have drone taxi service and drone trans americann flights amazon will not be challanged in its quuest to beat the competition. ybot will give you a wink and poop in the hand of those who plugged him in
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So what is the basis of this sketch?
James Herriott has a funny tale about a winking heifer who charms a show judge. Cute tale but as anyone used to cattle knows, cows regularly blink only one eye at a time, usually to clear out dust.
My border collie Boots would sense mood and asked to be petted if you were in some strong mood, which I think is the rule rather than the exception with lots of breeds.
Re my sister-in-law for any who saw my post yesterday. She hangs in there in intensive care. We are not going up with the icy stuff coming down and Sandy would not be allowed in. Whenever her death comes, it will be hard on Sandy, as are usually the death of close relatives with whom a person has complex relationships.
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Thanks for the update, Clyde. Hope her passing is peaceful if she has no chance for recovery.
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I’m guessing that Dale actually saw this. I found Pets Unstressing Passengers (PUPs) online; they started in LAX but just recently expanded to San Fran and Oakland. If you Google them, you can see the pups in their little red coats that say “Pet Me”. I could always use puppies to pet when I’m traveling!
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huh do you think they’d take my basset. she would be in heaven with thousands of new people who might pet her and not yell at her
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I doubt if you teach a dog to wink… must just happen…
OT – will be on sporadically from our library till the computer is fixed. It’s snowing out there – gotta go home.
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So I’m thinking about a song and I hear “pet de dog, keep out de devil”…..
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TeeHee, that’s what I’m hearing too.
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Thought somebody else would do this one..
and you gotta watch all the way to the end… 3:30 is the hot spot!
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If I am singing that in my head at 2am, I am hunting you down VS….
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Dogwrecker, not only are you taking yourself too seriously, but you are overestimating your own power. Even if you did somehow transfer all your years of pent-up rage to Toby – very doubtful – that doesn’t mean it caused him to poop in the airport. And the fact that you saw him being “naughty” once doesn’t mean that he has suddenly turned from a model dog into a terrible dog. Like humans, Toby is probably a mixture of good and bad and you just happened to see him being “bad.” Or maybe the volunteer was the naughty one since she probably wasn’t giving Toby enough time to go outside to do his business. So, my advice to you, DW, is to lighten up.
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