Dear Dr. Babooner,
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale – a tale of a fateful trip! It started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure, and everything that happened next is mostly conjecture.
We’re really not too sure!
The Skipper says a storm blew up. It swamped them more than once. They went off course and drifted for a year and several months. When I say “them” I really mean the Skipper, not the mate. The matey starved and perished on an unrecorded date.
He might have dressed a plate!
I say that ’cause the Skipper recently has come ashore. He says he lived on turtle’s blood. I think he needed more! He’s hairy and he’s tired but I’m really not impressed. If he has drifted sixteen months he’d look much more distressed.
A whole lot more distressed!
The media is hungry for some truth about this trip. It’s hard to say what happened and I don’t want to be flip. But if this is a hoax the Skipper’s name will soon be mud. And if the story’s true I’ll drink a pint of turtle’s blood.
I doubt it will taste good!
Dr. Babooner, is it wrong to make a bet with on the true outcome of a tragi-miracle like this?
Sincerely,
Mary Ann
I told Mary Ann it is in very poor taste to make light of a story like this one because a life was lost in the process and innocent newscasters everywhere may have been duped. But I wager that even the terribly poor taste of placing a bet on the true outcome of this story would not leave a flavor in your mouth that’s any worse than a pint of turtle’s blood. Yuk!
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
Poor taste doesn’t begin to cover it, Mary Ann.
Back in the day, a group of castaways were considered a great subject for light-hearted comedy, as their diverse backgrounds were forced to cooperate in order to create an orderly society, while still remaining true to their stereotypical selves.
Today, it is considered entertaining to speculate on who will get eaten by the others first. I’m sure Professor Russell Johnson would have something to say about this, but he has recently passed, leaving only the movie star with the unfortunately epicurian name of Ginger for you to share your speculations with.
If I were her, I think I would be making it my business to start showing less flesh.
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MIG, your comment makes me wonder when some TV producer will propose a re-make of Gilligan’s Island with a truly diverse and modern group of castaways. While it’s true the Howells represented a particularly lofty level of the moneyed elite, everyone on board the Minnow came from a fairly similar background. Didn’t they?
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i will be interesting to see how this one shakes out. i dont have a great deal of confidence that this guy is in touch with his inner skipper but then again i haven’t thought too much about it. he appears to be a nice weirdo who was found on an island and there is not a good explanation of how he got there. making up the story to fit the circumstances may require a better playwright than this guy.
this is a story that makes you scratch your head but only a little. now if it were me who spent a year and a half drinking and eating disgusting things to survive i would want to begin interviews for the movie rights but this guy seem to be looking for another can of coke.
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Good morning. I suppose what that guy said about being adrift for such a long time could be true. It seems more likely he story isn’t completely true. A guy who comes to land as that guy did might be very confused about what really did happen. Is he covering up what actually happen? Does he even know what happened? We should ask Captain Billy about this. Ir might even be possible that the Captain and his crew had something to do with what happened to that guy.
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Jim, I traded messages with Captain Billy about this and he says it is “poor manners” to dispute the seagoing stories people tell when they come ashore. Period.
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Okay. Tell Captain Billy I made a mistake suggesting that guy might not be telling the truth. I hope I will not end up walking the plank.
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
Just sticking my head in here to say hello. Hope the program takes my password. I think I have lost it and can’t post anymore.
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Elaborate story for just wanting attention. Turtle blood?
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Aha–finally got the right one!
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I always cheered for Mary Ann over Ginger. Ginger seemed like such a dunb cluck.
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I am typing without my glasses.. Dumb, excuse me.
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Call me naive or gullible, but I can’t think of a good reason to make up a story like this. Having survived what is basically a very long nightmare, I don’t blame the poor guy for wanting to get back home. I will say this, if the cost of losing any bet were having to drink a pint of turtle’s blood, I’d pass, no matter how much I stood to win.
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maybe with a little vodka and some tobacco? add a pickle and you have a bloody kermit
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O/T here. We’re back from balmy, 90-degree weather on our five-day cruise. The only thing worse than this particular Minnesota weather is flying back to a 90+ degree drop in temperature! Although my daughter and two of her girls had a lot of fun, this will likely be my last cruise with a younger generation because my stamina and ability to keep up with them faded by the hour. I’m finding it very difficult to accept that, at almost 70, my spirit and enthusiasm are strong, but my body and strength are headed in the other direction. What I’m most pleased with is that my daughter (who works 80-hour weeks) got to hang with two of her five kids, get away from two dozen phone calls from angry horse boarders a day, tan, dance, and RELAX for the first time in a year. This alone makes the sacrifice most worthwhile.
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Glad you’re back safe and sound, CB, and that you didn’t get shipwrecked anywhere!
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That was BiR…
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Yes, welcome back CB. Cruises can be rather intense because the companies work so hard to give you lots and lots of options, especially for the passengers who just can’t bear to be still. You should have specified that you wanted to take a voyage that involved lots of organized sitting.
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going on a crusie is your idea of a sacrifice. wahhhhh
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I’m with Jim – I think we should consult with Cap’n Billy and the crew.
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Dale has been in contact with the Cap’n.
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Good to know
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I think there are many absent baboons today who are floating around on rafts, unable to let us know how they are doing.
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I’m barely here. I’m not physically out on a raft. However, all of this cold weather has numbed my brain and it seems have left me to go off floating across the deep blue sea.
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Can’t find a video, but if you remember the tune you can hum this one….
The ways of man are passing strange,
He buys his freedom and he counts his change
Then he lets the wind his days arrange
And he calls the tide his master.
Ah the days, ah the days
Ah the fine long summer days
The fish come rolling in the bays
And he swore he’d never leave me.
But the days grow short and the year gets old
And the fish won’t stay where the water’s cold
And if they’re going to fill the hold
They’ve got to go offshore to find them.
So they go outside on the raving deep
And they pray the Lord their soul to keep
But the waves will roll them all to sleep
And the tide will be their keeper.
Ah the days, ah the days
Ah the fine long summer days
The fish come rolling in the bays
And he swore he’d never leave me.
Oh the tide, oh the tide
Oh you dark and you bitter tide
If I can’t have him by my side
I guess I have to leave him.
I gave you one, I gave you two
The best that rotten old boat could do
You wouldn’t be happy till I gave you three
But I’ll be damned if you’ll get me…
Ah the days, ah the days
Ah the fine long summer days
The fish come rolling in the bays
And he swore he’d never leave me.
Oh the tide, oh the tide,
Oh you dark and you bitter tide
If I can’t have him by my side
The water’s welcome to him.
Oh Lord, I know that the day will come
When one less boat comes slogging home
I don’t mind knowing that he’ll be the one
But I can’t spend my whole life praying.
I gave you one, I gave you two
The best that poor old boat could do
You’d have it all before you’re through
Well I’ve got no more to give you.
Ah the days, ah the days
Ah the fine long summer days
The fish come rolling in the bays
And he swore he’d never leave me.
– Gordon Bok
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gordon bok has the exact same singing voice and the dalai lama
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