Uncategorized

Ice Out!

52 Comments

Today’s post comes from Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing Minnesota’s 9th District – all the water surface area in the state.

Greetings 9th Districters!

Finally, we are in the season when things in the fabled 9th have literally become more fluid as the ice has been declared “out” over almost the entire district, give or take a few of the far, far northern lakes where pond hockey continues almost to the 4th of July.

This relative warmth relaxes and releases things.

As your elected representative I have been frozen, just like you, through most of the winter. I see that I have only produced three formal press statements since last November!

Critics say this has to do with my management style – namely that my staff hates working for me and they’re frustrated over constantly shifting positions and policy decisions. But I prefer to think of my office as a high-expectations environment where my demanding standards can surprise some under-prepared and off-balance assistants.

Yes, there is a lot of turnover in my office. But that creates opportunity for fresh-faced young people to learn first-hand how disheartening the world of work can really be! So if you know any youth who need such a lesson, have them contact me ASAP, since I’m doing pretty much everything on my own right now!

I’m not complaining. As many highly driven, financially successful business leaders like Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling will tell you, spare-time pursuits like self-reflection and second-thoughting are highly overrated. If you have something to say, why not just get it out there, unfiltered?

Accordingly, here’s the big news – with the softening terrain there will be an influx of visitors from exotic distant locales like Chicago and Denver. And with them come jobs! It would be wrong for me to take personal credit for the seasonal uptick in employment, but job numbers are looking better nationwide, as long as you don’t look at the other numbers that aren’t as encouraging.

That’s welcome news that might not have happened if there was a different person representing you in Washington. How so? Previous staffers have discouraged me from “going public” with this line of reasoning, but my logic has been upheld in literally dozens of time-travel scenarios. Changing one historic detail puts everything else in flux, so consider these items linked – I am in office and tourist dollars are on the way. End of story!

And with those visitors comes an increase in work all across the 9th district to guide, feed, lodge, entertain and clean up after our guests! And by “we”, I mean “you”, since I don’t deal personally with tourists even though I am a people person! Most of the people I schmooze are funders and power brokers – folks just like me who happen to have things that I need, like money or a vote. So of course I love them and we get along famously!

Ordinary tourists are more like demanding constituents who have many urgent needs and not a lot to offer in exchange. I realize that may not sound so good, so disregard it if you’re starting to feel mad. We’re a little short staffed right now, and having to handle your tirade will not make things any easier down at the office.

Besides, I could use the relief. It’s spring!

That’s all for now. God Bless America and so forth!

Your Congressman,
Loomis Beechly

Does it help things to speak freely?

52 thoughts on “Ice Out!”

  2. Good morning. Free speech is good. Speaking freely isn’t always good. In a perfect world perhaps speaking freely and free speech would both be good. As it is, although you should have the right to say anything you would like to say. you do need to avoid saying things that can get you in trouble. Beechly, you need to cut back on speaking freely. If anyone starts paying attention to what you are saying, you will have a big problem.

    Like

    Reply

  3. Pardon me for another OT post, but it would be churlish were I to fail to thank the wonderful folks who visited my little bungalow yesterday to celebrate the changes that will soon send me to Portland. I had estimated that five or six folks might show up on a spectacular spring day. At one point I counted 18, including some faces I haven’t seen in a long time.

    The big thrill was when a nice-looking fellow was introduced to me, but I missed his name. “So,” I said suavely, “are you connected with the blog?” “I AM the blog,” said our Dear Leader.” Well! It was like having Babe Ruth show up for your kid’s Little League game.

    For the lovely cards, food, wine and (above all) for the friendship, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Are there no limits to your kindness? If a tree falls on my apartment in Oregon, I know to whom my first phone calls will go. Keep in touch, friends, as I will with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    2. And as I promised yesterday, if I drive by your cute little bungalow and the new owner has ruined it, I will not speak freely about this to you!

      Like

      Reply

    3. I’m sorry I missed your lovely soiree, Steve, but I was obligated to sleep through most of an SPCO concert. Best wishes for your new adventures in Happy Valley. I’m sure you have been overloaded with comments about the appropriateness of the name of your new home but I’m glad you’re headed for Molly, Liam and such a sweet sounding place.

      Like

      Reply

    4. Steve, you well deserve the outpouring of affection from so many baboons at your little bungalow yesterday afternoon. I was not surprised to see such a crowd. Your wise and funny posts and comments have been (and will continue to be, I hope) an essential part of the special atmosphere that distinguishes Trail Baboon from so many other online locales.
      And in regard to the “I AM the BLOG” comment, I regretted that even as I was saying it, but Jim Ed Poole taught me not to leave a good punch line sitting in the quiver. You set me up so perfectly, I couldn’t resist. Even though anyone who reads what is written here on a daily basis is well aware that no one person IS THE BLOG.

      Liked by 4 people

      Reply

      2. Agree with Dale. I, too, was not surprised at how many showed up – even our dear leader. I had a hunch that he would show up.

        Like

        Reply

  4. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    My ability to speak freely varies so much with the situation. Examples follow:

    Re Work and client identity: Nothing to anyone ever, unless I have a Release of Info.
    Re George W. Bush: I will dis his presidential policies freely.
    Re talking politics at a family gathering: I will occasionally,and under unrelenting pressure, tell someone I am a liberal but I don’t wish to discuss it.
    Re stories about funny/goofy/eccentric family members (I, of course do not fit in any of these categories): I sing like a bird.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. I have discovered far too late in life that a “quiet tongue makes a wise head”.

    I hope, failing a live webcam of yesterday’s bungalow festivities, that there were at least a couple of pictures taken.

    Like

    Reply

    1. MiG – I got some photos. It’s on my list to write something up but it will probably be a day or so.

      Like

      Reply

  6. I had to spend the weekend, rather than go to the party Sunday, with the one person who most drives me nuts, and even irks Sandy, the most beloved and loving woman on the planet. He speaks freely, argumentatively, pontifically, professorially (not an accident), and continuously. He has the knack of dismissing everything anyone else says (meaning, of course, as the operative other person here, me). He even at one point managed to define a medical term and then immediately stand it on its head. He will psychoanalyze you and every one else at the drop of a hat. I could go and on, but then I would be speaking too freely. I am spending today detoxing.

    Like

    Reply

      1. To answer that would be speaking too freely. But if it were, I could segue into another family issue. My son-in-law graduated from seminary yesterday.

        Like

        Reply

  7. Oh Dale, and as too tourists, nobody speaks more freely. The question we used to get ask on the North Shore: “what do you do in the winter, I mean you can’t drive cars?” “Do you get television here?” “Certainly you don’t stay here in the winter.” followed soon by someone else, “You ain’t snowbirds are you’all. I hates them snow birds.” “I was surprised you get electricity.” “Does the lake ever flood.” You people sure talk funny.” “You’re lucky you don’t have any of those ______________ here.” Do most people have indoor toilets?” “Is this Canada?” Answer: it’s Minnesota. “I know that. But is it Canada, damn it?”

    Like

    Reply

    3. You forgot “Are you a Native???” spoken as if people lived there year-round were some exotic species.

      Like

      Reply

  8. As a sort of introvert who examines every word that comes out of mouth or keyboard, I’m not sure what this “Speaking freely” is, exactly. Sounds dangerous, though I do sometimes envy those for whom it is the norm.

    Like

    Reply

  9. How freely I speak depends entirely on the company I’m in. Even though I know that I don’t necessarily agree with every opinion of every baboon, it’s a group in which I feel comfortable sharing my viewpoints.

    Does it help to speak freely? That depends on what you mean by “help.” If I think you’re an idiot, I’m pretty sure it’s not very helpful to tell you so.

    Thanks Sherrilee and everyone else involved in arranging yesterday’s get-together at Steve’s house. It was lovely to see so many baboons all in one place, and it was wonderful that even some of the very delinquent baboons showed up.

    Like

    Reply

        2. Computer generated images. Speaking as a professional, I can say that is the way to go, as making those actual costumes would cost a mint.

          Like

  10. Morning all. I spend my days in corporate America, so you know I don’t speak freely. A LOT. But personally would we save a lot of hemming and hawing and wondering if we all had a little LESS filter?

    Like

    Reply

    1. Coming from a family that does not speak freely, while I am sure doing so would save time, the results might not be worth it.

      I can’t say for sure.

      Isn’t this weather something? (always a safe out)

      Like

      Reply

  11. Last week I was buying something in a retail store that shall remain unnamed, and the clear asked me repeatedly if I didn’t want to sing up for their store credit card. After the third time, I looked her straight in the eye, and she held my gaze, didn’t back down a bit, and asked once more if I was sure. I almost shouted YES, and then said “I imagine you’ve been trained to do this, but it’s really annoying.” She didn’t look at me after that.

    Usually I end up being embarrassed or apologetic when I’ve done something like that, but that day it felt good.

    Like

    Reply

  13. Once I get stated, I love to talk. I have to remind myself that there are things I should keep to myself. I am thinking especially about things I know about other people that they may not want me to broadcast to whoever I can find who will listen to me. There definitely is private information that should be kept private. I do know enough to keep really sensitive information private.

    Like

    Reply

  14. Best wishes, Steve, on your move and resettlement in Oregon.

    Daughter has restricted much of her free speech this summer as there is no cell reception at the family lake resort at which she is working near Park Rapids, and she is strangely happy about it. l’lI ask her to let me know if she runs into Congressman Beechly this summer.

    Like

    Reply

  15. Storytellers badly need to reflect on the virtues of silence. Because we love telling stories, we are all too likely to share Too Much Information about ourselves. But far worse is the temptation to tell good stories about other people, people who might have negative feelings about the conduct that makes the stories so interesting. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we are not laughing AT someone when we tell a story in which they step on one of life’s banana peels. Ah, but the person who did the funny thing may not feel it was something that should be shared. I’ve never hurt anyone’s feelings by being quiet rather than telling story. I fear I have hurt others by being too inclined to share

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Dale Connelly Cancel reply