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Ask Dr. Babooner

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Dear Dr. Babooner,

I have a steady, good paying job that’s as vital to the community as anything anybody else does, and it’s more important than most. I’m proud of my work and I don’t mind saying so. But snide comments from the neighbors, my friends and even some members of my own family are wearing me down. It feels like people just don’t understand what I do.

Even though we have a great history that’s directly connected to human progress, there hasn’t been a popular role model for my line of work since Art Carney was hanging out with Jackie Gleason.

Yes, I’m a sewer worker.

Sometimes I have to go into dank places where waste collects and congeals into a putrid sludge. Our high-tech equipment usually keeps us at a distance from the most unsavory elements of our work, although it helps to have a strong stomach. I am very careful about where I step, though I do sometimes get a fragrant paste smeared on my boots and clothes.

But I’ve done this for a while, so clean-up is one of my best skills. On my way home I look just as prim and pressed as anyone. My house is as tidy and as sweet smelling as a fussy florist’s flat.

Still, as soon as people realize what I do for a living, I am subjected to a never-ending flow of poop jokes. There is never a time when people don’t feel that it’s appropriate to cut loose with another good-natured jibe about gas, muck, and chunks.

Diarrhea comes up with surprising regularity in these casual conversations, even though we in the profession treat it the same way actors approach Macbeth – we never speak its name.

My 25th high school class reunion is coming up in a few weeks, and I’m torn. I want to go but I feel like I can’t tell people what I do for a living. My wife suggested I say I’m in the disease prevention field, which is accurate but it could lead to more questions and eventual disappointment when people find out I’m not a doctor. My brother said I should just tell them I’m in the pipeline business, but somehow that sounds … dirty!

Dr. Babooner, I feel stuck. Should I tell the truth, lie, or just stay home?

Clogged Brain

I told Clogged he should definitely go to his class reunion and should consider telling the truth. Most people truly appreciate our sewage system and the professionals who make it run. It’s not at all difficult to understand why this work is a social good. Even small-government conservatives are willing to pay taxes in support of what you do. But if being honest is too painful, one can always claim to be a member of the U.S. Congress. With some, that revelation will give you a quick taste of how it feels to have a job that is truly reviled, and everyone else will quickly change the subject to something more pleasant!

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

35 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Good morning. Clogged Brain, I am not good at giving the kind of advice you are requesting. If I was in your place, I wouldn’t go to the class reunion. I am not you. If you really do want to go to that reunion, one of those suggestions for positive ways to describe you work might be useful.

    Of course, telling the truth is another option. I am afraid the people who might attend your class reunion could include many who would look down on you if you told the truth. Just tell yourself that you are only telling a white lie and many of your former classmates will probably be doing the same.

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  2. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Like Jim, I have given up on the class reunions–my class was not cohesive and the only people I want to see are the friends who get together at other times. The larger group ends up being a bunch of old, fat people who I no longer recognize. It is very disorienting.

    However if you should decide to participate in this time honored form of torture, you need job line: just tell the truth and enjoy the comprehension dawning on their faces. “It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it” is a line made for the situation. Let your worst High School enemy know that you are spending your career cleaning up after him, personally!

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  3. Tell them you had some reviled job and then one day in a dream you saw the light at the end of the tunnel. When you woke up, you realized the tunnel was a sewer. So you became a sewer worker to serve as penance. Now the trick is choosing the right job to have left from which to expiate yourself. Perhaps climatologist or evolutionist. Maybe personal injury lawyer. A moderate politician or political commentator. Accordianist. Consultant. Or perhaps teacher, but that may be taking it too far.

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    1. find out what they do and tell them thats what you used to do.
      one of my favorite is the plumber who is out to fix a plumbing problem. the customer asks how much. 750 is the answer.
      750 thats what i charge for an apendechtimy said the customer indignantly.
      yeah thats what i used to charge when i was a surgeon too. this work pays better.

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  4. I have never attended a class reunion and have no intention of doing so in the foreseeable future.

    But as Jim says, you are not me, and it sounds like you would like to go, and I have a fair amount of experience avoiding the “what is your job” discussion.

    Let’s start with the basics- you have a full-time job with decent pay and most likely a good if not extravagant benefits package.

    Furthermore, it is doubtful that job is going to be outsourced or downsized due to a takeover anytime soon. I have never heard any of the usual suspects jawing on about cutting the budget in your area.

    Surely you are doing something interesting with all that security and dosh. You have plenty to talk about besides work. The guy who bored out our line last winter had plenty to tell about his extensive travels in China.

    Worst case scenario? You will have to spend an evening listening to everyone elses’ financial fears and job secutity worries.

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  5. Never been to a class reunion, and I plan to go when Hel freezes over (Heathen joke, my bad). I’d say, if CB really wants to bother with his former classmates, but doesn’t want to bother with the jokes and the stinkeye (someone had to say it), he should claim to be a plumber, but darn if he didn’t forget to bring any business cards with him. Also, he should either say he’s not on Facebook, or make sure he’s the one who is supposed to friend the other person, and then “forget”. Or, like MG says, tell the truth and remind people that he has job security and probably union bennies as well. If his job offers fully paid medical, he might well end up the envy of the reunion!

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  6. Here is my suggestion: go ahead and tell people what you do. Be proud of it. Explain that you are furthering the cause of the proletariat. Perhaps read up a bit on Marxist theory, memorize a few lines from the communist manifesto. Carry some literature with you in case you really want to go for it and hand out some propaganda. This is where we can work off of Clyde’s idea – claim to have had some reviled job that makes boatloads of money (e.g. Wall Street Banker), then explain that in the recession you had a conversion and now will only work as a laborer in the service of the proletariat. Bonus points if you wear a Mao hat to the reunion.

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  7. Morning–
    I’ve gone to several class reunions. But I always end up talking with the same couple friends. And then the oddball who joins our table and I never know who he is. Can’t say I’ve made any ‘new’ friends at reunions. But I figured that was me being snobby.

    Jobs. The minister we had at my bachelor party told people he “…worked in foundations…”
    I like that idea of telling people you’re in ‘Fluid engineering’ or ‘Disease Prevention’.

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  9. I actually did work as an apprentice for a plumber. My boss would always say in tough situations, “It’s not all fame and glory”. We looked at what we did as essential and it is. $125 an hour can attest to the fact that people don’t want to know how, “Just Fix It”.

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  10. Reblogged this on The Wrong Mistake and commented:
    We all appreciate the work it takes to keep our basic services working. Fuel, Light, Water, Food, Public Transportation, and yes Plumbing. The next time you see a plumber on the road, at work, or in public just say “Thank You” and give them a smile.

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    1. Boy that was quick. It was only yesterday that I heard she was ill. What a powerhouse of talent she was. R.I.P. Dr. Angelou.

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      1. I saw speak at Macalester college many years ago. An incredibly passionate and inspirational speaker who only seemed to grow more powerful as she aged. A truly phenomenal human being.

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    4. i love maya angelo
      i am helping a friend launch her poet career and maya angelo is a person i intended to contact to get some input.
      i will put her on the list of people i have round table discussions during my meditative state now. she will get along well with the others at the table and make some great contributions. she was amazing. so pure and straight forward. she lived a good life.

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  12. There were only eleven of us in my graduating class, and we all knew each other very well. I’d love to see them all again and catch up on how life has treated them.

    I have a hard time relating to the large class sizes so common in many American schools. Presumably there were some folks in your class you liked and hung out with, CB, and maybe even some you’ve kept in contact with, no? The notion of a class reunion being anxiety producing makes no sense to me. Who cares what they think of you? On the other hand, if you don’t know or don’t care for these folks, why bother going?

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  14. i had a problem a couple of years ago and the prices you pay plumbers who specialze in poop is unbelievable. i wasnt aware that i have an odd set up at my house. it is down in a holwe and in order to get the water up to sewer level i have a waterstation where the water goes when you flush, bathe wash clothes etc. the pump broke and the stuff started backing up. no one wants to go in there right so i paid to have the guys come out and take care of it. everything touching every aspect of poop related interaction costs 1000 dollars. i paid the guy and he didnt know what he was doing and i ended up fixing it myself with a pump and a float from internet suppliers and the manhole cover in my yard i had to climb down inside of everytime there was a hiccup became like my long lost brother.
    i go to my reunions and it is always interesting. i see people i havent thought of in years and talk about the good old days and then its over for another 5 or 10 years. i had a big class of about a thousand and went to school in a town where there were 3 schools so every now and again they have a ll school bash where i get to see the kids i went to catholic school with in elementary school and that a kick. when people ask what i do i tell them i sell stuff. if they want details i can dazzle them with bs and watch their eyes glaze over.
    you could tell them you fix stuff. kind of a handy man sort of guy. self employed? 1000 bucks a stop. 2 or 3 stops a day. life is good.
    you know after a while poop is just part of the equation and its not gross mucky stuff its just part of the deal. dont wear your good shoes to go wading in it and youre fine. if you get you pand leg dipped into it it can be washed . if you are doing it for a living like ed norton the rubber suit you put on takes care of the biggest part of it. its like working anywhere. a doctor who works with people or a farmer or a mom . we all have dirty parts of the job.
    go say hi and enjoy the shindig. the people who try to impress you are the ones i get a kick out of. heck we know who you are. we grew up with you its the rest of the world who buys the new face you put on since high school. its a kick.

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  15. We are waiting on our plumber to run a gas line into the kitchen so we can put in a gas stove. We currently have 2.5 working burners on our electric stove, so I hope the plumber gets a move on.

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    1. Plumbers don’t get a move on in the real world. They must be harder to get up there in oily neverneverland.

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      1. Our plumber is a very cautious and meticulous man who is worth waiting for. My father loves plumbing, and was so saddened this last weekend to realise he is too frail to replace our bathroom faucets. He is excited, however to be able to watch the plumber when he arrives. We are re-siding our house this summer and getting new windows as well, and dad is excited to watch those workers. I am glad we will have someone at home when that happens.

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      2. my daughter points out a big difference she noted between europe and america. in europe people have a job so they can have a life. in america your job is you identity. she thinks going to work at 9 ane being done at 5 has some benefits. there are many days i would tend to agree. i think plumbers are great problem solvers who know how to do specialized stuff. sink clogs, hair balls in the tub, tree roots in the pipes. they can tell you exactly how mnay hundred of dollars it is going to be to fix each one of those problems. mechanics are the same deal. just replaced the struts on my sons vehicle and had to deal with broken coil springs. i asked my son if he had a littel better apprecaition for those mechanics who deal with one fix after another all day long? he said he did. plumbers are always needed NOWWWWWWW. what a beautiful thing when figuring a quote on a job.

        http://snlandhotsauce.tumblr.com/image/70075516842

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    2. my wife and kids go crazy when i say heck i can do that stuff. then they see how i do it and wonder if thats really how the plumber would do it. is there more to it than tapping into an existing line and running a gas line up form the basement? is the basement finished? are you goona do it with steel fitted pipe or copper tubing. ah the flange tool. i know right where it is.
      you will love gas. it is sooooo much better than electric for stoves. its unbelievable.

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      1. You remind me of the folks I encounter who think they are doing me a favor by offering to pay me to replace a zipper in their favorite pair of jeans. It’s tedious business just getting the old one out, I don’t want to do it, so I quote the price accordingly. This usually gets them to state that they could buy a new pair for that, which is what I then suggest is exactly what they do.

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        1. I used to go through that with carving. They offer me what amounts to about a dollar an hour. Craft is supposed to be cheap.

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        2. If you think craft is cheap, try doing the “women’s work” that is “sewing”. Got news for people, doing alterations ain’t sewing. It is one part tearing apart mixed with 2 parts magic. At the end, you sprinkle on a little “sewing”.

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  16. Oh, it is mainly tapping the existing gas line and running it into the kitchen. It is complicated, however by making sure that the connection in the kitchen is in the right place for the hook up on the stove. He also has to make sure that the lines that go into other gas appliances are wide enough so that adding a gas stove doesn’t starve those appliances for fuel.He may have to run wider pipes to those appliances. The basement has a dry-walled ceiling, and that will make for more difficult installation. It isn’t all fame and glory, you know.

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