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Tipping Point

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Today’s post comes from idea man and marketing expert Spin Williams, who is constantly trying to stay ahead of the future at The Meeting That Never Ends.

I’m excited, because giving management advice is always a money maker! That’s why we love, love, love this New York Times article about unhappiness on the job.

It has started a new conversation that’s going to make it possible for us to charge clients some hefty fees! And the basic premise is SO TRUE – everybody is depressed about the way things are going at work.

That’s right – everybody! That’s why I believe we’ve reached an economic and employment tipping point. Everything in the workplace is about to go topsy-turvy, which sounds like a great calamity but it’s actually a wonderful money maker for us if we can spin it right and get enough CEO’s into panic mode!

A couple of years ago in the Bad Old Days when there was no money, I was one of those managers who thought the disgruntled employee set was a bunch of selfish crybabies. Setting up daycare centers, fitness clubs and free transportation for the workforce made no sense to me. “Employee Coddling” is what I called it – a misguided HR strategy that I thought would totally undermine the bottom-line focus of successful corporations.

After all, the business model we inherited from the 19th century is built on exploitation of labor. Every mogul has been taught to consider the workforce with this thought in mind: “If they’re not miserable, we could be making more money!”

But now we know businesses that help employees feel valued and successful are the ones that prosper most. It seems employee coddling can be good for the bottom line! In fact, this particular quote in the New York Times story really hit home:

A truly human-centered organization puts its people first — even above customers — because it recognizes that they are the key to creating long-term value.

Of course! Everything you thought is now the opposite. The employee is now the customer, and a modern workplace should sell their employees the feeling of being valued. Here’s where the math comes in – we’ll create a package of automatically deductible employee fees.

  • Workers can buy a thoughtful boss upgrade.
  • They will be charged a sane workload assessment.
  • And their pay will be docked for the meaningful work surcharge.

And the best part is – if we can get back half their wages through these fees, your business is suddenly breaking even!

This is a genius idea because Americans are so moved to do work that improves the lives of others. So in the future, we advise smart companies to hire people to play the role of grateful customers to help employees feel even better about their jobs!

Yes, I’m promoting the idea that employees will become the firm’s actual customers, and their current customers will become their employees.  In a weird way, it all makes perfect sense, and it’s inevitable!

You probably need our management advice to deal with it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Future Ahead, Over and Out,
Spin Williams

What is it worth to feel happy in your work?

39 thoughts on “Tipping Point”

  1. “Yes, I’m promoting the idea that employees will become the firm’s actual customers, and their current customers will become their employees. In a weird way, it all makes perfect sense, and it’s inevitable!”

    It’s here. In the Old Days (Good or Bad depends on selective memory) a gas station (“Fillin’ Station” for some of you, Dale included) provided an employee who filled your tank, checked your oil, and cleaned your windshield. Then there was mini-service, and then self-service. A few place in the U.S. still have full service, but for the rest: Did stations lower their prices because we, the customers were doing the work formerly done by the workers? Nope. Think about airline baggage fees. Many charge for carry-on bags. A bag that no airline employee lifts, handles, or touches. The customer does the lugging. And why the charge? Idk. It’s not because of excess or extra weight. I’ve seen the 747 carrying a space shuttle piggyback–I call “BULLSHIT” on the weight issue.

    As for the question, “What is it worth to feel happy in your work?”, Confucius once said, “Find a job that you love, and you will never work a day in your life.” (Well, he probably said it in Mandarin, but Idk how to type those characters on my computer, which is curious, because it was probably made in China. But I digress). A more relevant quote is, “Put your backs into it laddies, or you’ll feel my whip!”, by a ship oar room henchman back in Bad Old Days (definitely Bad). See, it is called ‘work’ for a reason. The only people who are truly happy at their jobs are professional golfers and gold diggers.*

    I would be truly happy at my job if I didn’t have to go to meetings. I LOVE teaching. And even then, getting three months off in summer, a month off for Christmas, a week off for Thanksgiving, and another week off in spring just for the hell of it is quite nice.

    So my specific question comes down to, ‘What is it worth to not have to go to meetings?’ My answer is a lot! But I’m too cheap to pony up, so I’ll just continue to torment those that call the meetings and make them fun for me.

    *Actually, I’m just guessing about one of those professions…

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    1. If you figure out how to get away with no meetings, Joe… please, please, please let me know how!!!!

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      1. Here’s the only idea I’ve heard that seems plausible, although I haven’t tried it yet. Write a note to yourself of the very first question someone asks at the meeting. At the very end, when people are gathering their stuff because the meeting is ending, ask that very same question but in different words. It will throw people off and give some of them the gnawing feeling that nothing was accomplished at that meeting. Do that at a few meetings, and after awhile people won’t like you at their meetings. They won’t be able to put their finger on it, but they will associate you with bad vibes. And hopefully they will start to neglect to put you on invite list.

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        2. Nice, Joe. My idea for ending the too-long meeting culture is to require that all conference tables be lined with bins to hold small parts for light product assembly tasks. Anyone called to a meeting would be expected to produce a specific number of widgets per hour while they listen (maybe) and wait (certainly). Nobody likes being on an assembly line, so over time the enthusiasm for meetings would dwindle. And if not, at least at the end there would still be something useful to show for your time spent sitting.

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        3. You have to careful about this kind of thing. About 20 years ago, my company decided that meetings were taking too long and people were unproductive because of it. So they took all the chairs out of the meeting rooms; I’m assuming their theory was that if we couldn’t sit down, we’d hurry up. This didn’t even last a month. Personally I laughed until I was sick the first day of no chairs.

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  2. O.T. -Since Crystalbay specifically said it was OK to share her note, here it is:

    “Steve and I want to thank you for such a sweet note. Our time together has been surprisingly smooth and enjoyable. Our routines blend comfortably. He mostly hangs out in the lake-facing living room to read and listen to the radio (I didn’t even know how to turn it on!) I always hang out in the den where my Mac, phone, TV, books are. When he has the desire to interact with me, he just comes into the den. That way, I know I’m not imposing on his need for solitude.

    This week together was unexpected because his estate sale moved up the date he had to leave. Between the week here and a 25-hour trek to Portland, we’ll be able to share countless stories about our common childhood. At this point, I’m seeing all of this as a gift from the Universe to me (and perhaps to him, too). As you know, he and I only became close friends in the last two years. I’ll also be able to see where he’ll be living as well as Molly’s home. It seems cool to have a “vision” of all this.

    I’m seeing the long drive as quite a challenge. One person who nods off behind the wheel (apnea) and the other with a severe driving anxiety problem. Even when he takes a turn driving, I feel like I have watch him to make sure he’s wide awake! Also, I’ve never driven more than an hour from home. Oh boy!!!

    Thank you again, PJ, for thinking of us.

    Nancy

    PS You’re welcome to share anything I’ve written here with the baboons since they’re not seeing much of us lately…………”

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  3. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Oh, Spin. You make me crazy because you are the perfect reflection of our 24 hour news-babble ( presented as news, but not really) culture that flows over and erodes reality just like Cable TV channels.

    It is a good idea to have workers invested emotionally in the job. Everything just works better that way. I can’t seem to work at all without some feeling of integrity. However, your superficial comprehension of this concept will probably pass in a few days and you will be off to the next…what… idea? fast fact? opportunity to spin?

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  4. Good morning. I don’t understand how a company can think that they should not be supportive of their employees and do what they can to create a good work place. What is the point to mistreating employees? I don’t see how any good can come from that for the employer or the employee.

    It would be worth a lot to have a good employer if you were stuck working for a bad one. Of course, only someone like Spin would think they should try to line their own pockets by giving people a way to have a better employer by making employees pay for better treatment. I think Spin would fit well in the Brave New World that Huxley envisioned.

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    1. I think the only possible reason for mistreating employees was summarized by Randy Newman in his song “I Just Want You To Hurt Like I Do.”

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  5. Spin, you’re a knucklehead. With all the goofy ideas you come up with, I do hope you’re not well paid.

    Satisfying work, a good boss, and likable coworkers are important. So are decent benefits and pay. But I see no reason why an employee should have to compromise in any of these areas to have those conditions met. That said, I’m not particularly motived by money. I’d rather do work that gives me a sense of satisfaction than mindless work that doesn’t provide a mental challenge, even if the former paid less. If the only challenge your work gives you is the ability to endure it, it’s time to look for another job or retire.

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    1. PJ, Knuckhead is a wonderful term for our Spin! Those of us who are not particularly driven by money are a quandary for much of the world. I doubt that Spin can even hear or comprehend this characteristic.

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  6. OT: I just want to thank all of you for your wonderful kindness to my brother. He literally couldn’t be headed to Portland without all the generosity of time and labor of your assistance. I know he’s very touched by the many ways in which you responded to his needs and will always carry you in his heart. Honestly, I think the level of kindness surprised him along the way since he’s lead such a solitary and at times lonely life.

    His goal for many years has been to live out his days near his beloved Molly. Again, this wouldn’t have been physically possible without you.
    I’m quite sure that we’ll see him on the trail with a lot of Liam stories in the near future. Having the trail so far from home and in a brand new situation in which a new lifestyle must be created, I imagine that the trail the trail become his tether to his life back home.

    Very fondly,
    Nancy (CB)

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    1. I hope we do see him back on the Trail. If he goes away it will trigger my Baboon Abandonment Issues! Meanwhile, safe travels to all. I look forward to many more Liam Stories.

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    5. Thanks for writing CB. And for being the road partner! A great way to make the change…
      Looking forward to hearing from you again Steve.

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  7. It’s worth a LOT, but I don’t know how to measure it. The times I wasn’t happy in my work (several come to mind, including that last year of teaching kdgn.), I was able to quit. It would be miserable to stay in a job I loathed.

    I’m not always happy in my current job (retired/self-employed). My boss is a guilt-inducing perfectionist with such high expectations that I often feel I’m falling down on the job. I’m working on getting the boss to change tactics.

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  8. It’s worth an incalculable amount. It’s everything. It’s mentally, physically and spiritually healthy. It pays off in money and in the type of lines on your face.

    I don’t dislike my job. But I don’t like it either. I have to do it. Sometimes I feel like an old mare being pulled forward by the hackamore across her nose. There are moments when I enjoy it immensely. The bottom line is that I need to earn some money now, while I can, so that I can retire someday. The best use of my skills at this point in my life is exactly what I’m doing. It’s not perfect; it’s stressful, noisy, difficult, dirty, and I have to deal with people I don’t always like, but it makes me smile several times a day. It has made me remember skills I’d forgotten, like riding a bike. It has reminded me that I can be calm, patient and kind. That’s worth a lot too.

    This conversation reminds me of a zen saying I found and had tacked up in my office at the DNR:
    “Although the wind
    blows terribly here,
    the moonlight also
    leaks through the holes
    in the roof
    of this ruined house.”
    -Shibiku

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  9. Well, today I was able to use my own sick leave to take my Dad to the oncologist in Bismarck. That is a good reason for me to be happy at my work. The doctor said any treatment, even a biopsy, could be harmful and would shorten his life, so there we are and we do nothing except palliative care. I am happy that my work is supportive of families in times like these, and if needed, my husband can use his sick leave to help with my dad as well. I can hardly wait to hear Steve’s description of the road trip.

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    1. Renne, from what you say it seems your father’s oncologist is trying to do the right thing. I have heard that palliative care can be a very good way to handle some medical conditions. I understand that this type of care is becoming more widely used to provide more comfort for patients suffering from very serious medical problems.

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    2. I can see it now – we’ll be driving along and Steve will be saying, “Calm down” or I’ll be saying “Wake up!” Not to mention that one of his medications necessitates stopping every 10 minutes.

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      2. What? That’s not even possible, unless you drive the entire stretch on back roads, and that would take forever. This is going to be some road trip.

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    3. best wishes to you and your family renee. i think your dad is very lucky to be in such good caring hands. peace to you all through the coming days

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  10. I apologize for the placement of the comment above – it was meant to appear further up on the thread! Dale: I only hope Steve’s rendering of the road trip is somewhere in the vicinity of my own.

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  12. whats it worth to feel happy at work? whats it like to feel happy in life? the dalai lama says the thing all people try to achieve is happiness plain and simple it is our only goal. all the others are to achieve happiness. i agree. if you have happiness you have everything, the thing that drives me crazy at work is my boss and im my own boss

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