Mashie, Niblick, Limerick

In an increasingly busy, hyper-productive, multi-tasking world, many of us are overwhelmed with undone work and yet are still blessed with ample time to examine and complain about the prioritizing skills of other people. I may have absolutely no idea what it takes to do your job, but I know sloughing off when I see it! And as Americans, it is our birthright to offer uninformed criticism of our leaders. That’s how we manage to get outrage over President Obama’s interest in golf.

Yes, he lives over the store and can never really disconnect from the job, but even so, whenever I hear that he is relaxing, I feel like I’m not getting my money’s worth. How can he be so lazy when time is precious and the world has so many urgent problems?

Plus, golf seems like an un-serious hobby for a grown man with big responsibilities. Golfers have been known to wear silly clothes and ride around in tiny cars, just like circus clowns. Several of their implements wear flouncy covers and some of the terms of the game (birdie, bogie, mulligan) sound childish. Even the names of some of the ancient tools of the trade (mashie, niblick, brassie, baffing spoon) seem comical.

It made me want to create some bad limericks about Presidents and golf, which, although they are clearly inferior to good limericks, took just as long to write.

Hours, literally.

Don’t tell me I’m not an expert on wasting time!

I.
A Senator griping in Texas
said the president’s golfing effects us.
“If he’d stop chasing pars
He’d have time to start wars!”
Though how that would be better, perplexes.

II.
When the president lines up a putt
tension strains his political gut.
He aims leftward, though slight,
but it breaks to the right,
every time, as if stuck in a rut.

III.
There are critics who count all the swings
that the president hacks, chops and dings.
He plays more than we’d like
But far, far less than Ike
who still managed some serious things.

IV.
When the POTUS hits grass that is rougher,
F.B.I. agents won’t let him suffer.
Though it’s way overgrown
they will summon a drone
which can blast it out for the first duffer.

If the world watched you work, what would it criticize?

43 thoughts on “Mashie, Niblick, Limerick”

  1. Wow, Dale – that was just hilarious!! l research everything so that l can look well informed when l leave my strident, progressive posts on the Strib. l learned that Obama only spends 3 hours a month golfing, but you gotta remember that these haters begrudge him a bathroom break!

    What would the world criticize watching my work? lt’d probably be “How can she get paid for just listening??”

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  2. Good morning. I’m glad that I’m not an important person who is expected to get a large amount of work done. There are many things I would like to do that I never get done. My work out put is not very high. I’m sure that if the world watched me work, it would be found that I am not very productive.

    Is my lack of productivity a bad thing? I would like to do more. I would be a little happier if could manage to do more. However, I think none of us, including myself, should think that we are failures if we don’t become highly productive people.

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    1. I agree with you Jim – don’t sweat it about not getting everything done. I don’t know anybody who reaches that level of accomplishment. And besides, the person who is watching you is not exactly a task-conquering powerhouse. They’re just watching a guy work. How productive is that?

      Liked by 2 people

  3. The world would criticize my leaving tasks until just before their deadlines and not getting things done early. I also haven’t been picking up the toys in the play room well enough, and the children are starting to complain.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Politics certainly takes lots of guts.
    To act crazy and call the other guy “nuts.”
    Taking a break on the links,
    And hearing what your opponent ‘thinks,’
    It’s easy to tell the putts from the putz.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. In my part time jobs, managers used to get a little exasperated that I, in my effort to have my life be more efficient, kept trying to “consolidate my work week by coming in, say, two full and one half day, instead of five half days. Less travel time, you see… and those full days off were a bit of “gold.”

    That’s why I volunteer where I do now – I can pretty much come and go as I please. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have no complaints about the work of our local hospital employees today. My father has been having increasing numbers of chest pains, both with and without exertion, and has been popping nitro pills like crazy. He was very ill this morning and I was horrified to learn he took 20 of them last night due to chest pain. His appetite has been so poor he lost 7 pounds in the last week.We took him to ER this morning. Well, when a guy has no chest cold, no cough, and no cold symptoms and his chest sound clear, pneumonia is the last thing one thinks of. Chest pain with exertion is Angina, right? Sure enough, Dad has pneumonia, and the chest pain was due to pneumonia. He was admitted, is getting antibiotics, and is getting back to his chirpy self and was watching the Yankees game when I left him tonight. It was close, but he may have escaped the noose yet again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Renee, I so enjoyed your piece on the Boomgarten Orchestra. Unfortunately the last 2 days have been too filled to post. Sorry your dad is ill, as well. Thanks for the great piece.

      Like

  7. Too many bathroom breaks. Too many snacks. Checking the Trail too often. Looking out the window or staring into space. Daydreaming. BUT I have never played golf!

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    1. tell him thems fighting words.
      a guy who umped a three hour game where there is a total of 15 or 20 minutes of action if youre lucky. golfs not for watching its for playing

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  8. I soon will go through yet another certification process starting in November for the type of therapy I do. Part of the requirements are that I have to submit 3 recorded sessions which will be viewed and evaluated by a panel.

    I will get a very precise assessment and critique of what the panel in my world thinks of my work. It is a bit intimidating.

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  9. i told my wife we would be rich
    but right now were stuck in the ditch
    my wife is quite certain
    we wouldnt be hurtin
    if i werent such a lazy old son of a bitch

    the way that i work is perplexing
    to outsiders who notice my texting
    and just checking the blog
    angry birds and a my dog
    always wondering what is the next thing

    when i work in my own special way
    it may take three or four or even twenty two days
    eventually it will work out
    in a jig jaggy route
    and give my brain well deserved praise

    when im working on solving issue
    my greatest chance is simply to wish to
    provide me with solutions
    and profound resolutions
    exercising gray matterish tissue

    problem solving often begins wiith
    coming to grips with some sins with
    the aid of distraction
    and some inderect traction
    i supplied to identical twins with

    Like

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