Uncategorized

The Scottish Ploy

43 Comments

Today’s post comes from perennial sophomore Bubby Spamden of Wendell Willkie High School.

Hey Mr. C.,

Well, school has been going for a couple of weeks now and so far no real surprises, except that Mr. Boozenporn moved his “Nations of the World” unit from January up to Right Now.

It ends with a “Nations of the World Festival” in the gym. We get assigned a country in a random drawing and we have to write a report about it, and make a display, and dress up in a traditional costume and then all the parents (well, not ALL) come on a Tuesday night and they poke around and kinda quiz you about your project while you stand there, sweating.

But I don’t worry about it too much because I’ve been a sophomore for a lot of years and I’ve done enough nations that I’m starting to get them a second time, which is really cool because you can kinda re-use your work and who’s gonna know?

Except last year I got Egypt again so I handed in the report I did back in 2005 and Mr. B gave me a “D” and held it up for the whole class to see because now they have a different president and everything else I said about Egypt was pretty much wrong too, except that they have pyramids and the Nile.

“Follow the news!” Mr. B. said. “If you don’t know the latest happenings in your country, you will get a ‘D’ for ‘don’t know anything’.”

So this year I drew Scotland.

I’ve never done Scotland before, but I took Mr. B’s advice and checked the news, and boy was I ever glad I did! It turns out they’re having a vote (today!) to decide whether or not to be an independent country. Which is funny because I thought they already were! (And so did Mr. B., I guess, because otherwise why would it be a choice?)

Doesn’t matter, though, because I feel super lucky. The way I see it, Scotland is a free pass on the “Nations of the World” assignment since the Festival is next Tuesday night.  I’m counting on Scotland to vote for independence so the festival will happen on what will only be the fifth day of existence for their country.

That means I get to make a super short report.  Maybe I could get away with just a shrug! Who coulda guessed that Scottish independence would set me free, too?

After all, it’s not like the Scottish people have history that goes much past last week, right? So it should be smooth sailing for me – nothing to worry about unlike those guys that drew places in, like, Africa. I hear some of them are going to have to wear dresses!

At least Scottish guys don’t wear silly clothes like that, just goofy, poofy hats. As far as the rest of the wardrobe, somebody told me anything with a pattern would work. Is that true?

Your pal,
Bubby

What is your greatest miscalculation?

43 thoughts on “The Scottish Ploy”

  1. Good morning. Taking the job that brought me to Minnesota was a big miscalculation and probably the biggest one I have made. I am glad taking that job brought me to Minnesota. However, I definitely choose a bad place to work.

    It turned out that my boss was not a very good person and was not trustworthy. The best thing he did for me was to let me go because I really didn’t fit into all of his attempts to advance his business in bad ways. I took the job because it looked like a fit for me and I needed a job.

    Fortunately, I was let go after only working at that job for a year and a half. Unfortunately, I had moved my family from Indiana to Minnesota and was out of a job. At least I was out of a job in Minnesota, where we have found many things that we like.

    Like

    Reply

  2. I confess to a certain unease about today’s vote. I love the idea of independence, but I worry about the vulnerability that comes with going it alone.

    I’ve had miscalculations based on both alliances and emancipations.

    Most of my smaller scale miscalculations involve time, personal stamina and the phrase, “how hard can it be?”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    3. i hear scotland is feeling pretty good once it dawned on them that all the oil rights in the north sea are on their side of the boundry line. england says they voted and scotland gets 8% as per the vote. scotland says yeah thats whey we are leaving.
      scotland will be all set to write their own ticket once they leave. fracking is more fun with a good bottle of single malt under your arm. you take the high road….
      poor old england, they and adrian peterson cant whoop their adversaries anymore like back in the good old days

      Like

      Reply

  3. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Ordering my miscalculations and choosing one as the worst is a daunting task–there have been more than a few. Sigh. So I will choose one but, really, “How hard can it be” to choose one? (Really, really hard?)

    The Wasband. Marrying him and thinking it would somehow just work out even though I did not really want to marry him was a “miscalculation” about how life and my own emotions work. I caved to immense family pressure and the feeling I had never done anything right and this would somehow correct that. Magical Thinking I do believe.

    In the words of the Christine Lavin song: “What Was I Thinking?”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Wives jobs business partners people to trust in general turn out to be disappointing.

    Miscalculations, I’ve had a few
    But then again too few to mention
    An ex wife here, wrong path over there retirements screwed I’ve got no pension
    I trudge ahead in spite of errors
    I do my best out on life’s highway
    But truth be told I’m here to say
    I blew it my way

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply

  5. My big miscalculation of the day (too many to try to find the historical “most” is thinking that WordPress likes me and that the video of Christine Lavin that I’ve tried to add (repeatedly now) to Jacque’s post would actually show up.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Heard the report the other day about how many SENIORS are still struggling with loan payments of their own. As the parent of an impending college student- I have to wonder how sustainable any of this is.

      Like

      Reply

        1. We shall see. There are lots if smart kids out there and less and less money available. The other story that has been in the news is about research labs closing for lack of funding.

          Seems the only thing that reallyb pays these days is accumulating more and more wealth into fewer and fewer big piles.

          How’d that work out for Smaug?

          In thrift and hard work we trust.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Embarassing but true, I just now realized the picture of Wilkie was not an obscure reference to history Bubby never bothered to learn, it’s his high school.

    Pour me another, barrista….

    Like

    Reply

  9. I married the same man twice and would have probably thrice, but for his being a corpse.There’s a folk song there somewhere. Or at least a limerick.

    tim – Re: steel trap mind. Big miscalculation on your part. I googled Trail Balloon Funeral Music to find the songs Elinor named. (The other one was Dr. John’s, When the Saints Go Marching In.) I remembered her fondness for T. Waits’ Grapefruit Moon because at that time I was so in love with his Tom Traubert’s Blues. So there was a connection, you see? I understand connectivity is very important to brain function. Not to mention sardines.

    My thoughts are with you Renee. Your posts about your dad were so great.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. I always seem to underestimate (miscalculate) time and energy needed to do all the things I have planned. I am proud to say that I have stopped trying to “eyeball” evenness and distance when I hang pictures, and I measure twice and write down the numbers as well.

    Like

    Reply

  12. Husband has been hauling things up to his part-time housing and office on the Reservation, carefully planning, packing his pickup, double checking to see that all the tests, bookcases,cooking equipment, etc are set to go so he will be ready to jump into his work there. On Tuesday night I got a call from him asking me to please see if he had left his suitcase at home. He had. All he had to wear for three days has been a rather nice looking suitcoat outfit. The drive home takes 2.5 hours and I didn’t know of anyone here going north, so he has been stuck. He comes home tonight. We leave for Luverne in the morning. At least his bag is packed!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    2. i should have told you about the formula form the anne tyler book the accidental tourist. i just loved it. you get in the shower in the evening with your clothes on, wash the arm pits the neck and then take that off, wash out your underwear and socks hang them up to dry and pack a dark gray suit instead of a beige one so it wont show stains. i cant tell you how it has affected my packing. drip dry shirt and shorts two pairs of socks and i am good to go. i also hit thrift shops if it is cool or hot rainy or unexpectadley anything else sell it on ebay or whereever after i get back. i can make a two week trip with an extra pair of socks in my bag. toothbrush and a laptop. and a thremos.. and a book, and a couple of teabags…. and a cigar….. and……..

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. Pretty hard to say what my biggest miscalculation has been; there have been quite a few. But I would put overestimating my ability to put up with living in a house that was being extensively rehabbed (rehab is like remodeling except more so) while simultaneously underestimating the time the house would be in construction mode would be very near the top.

    I know one person who miscalculates the time needed to accomplish a task, but unlike the humble baboons, won’t admit that she underestimated. One time she told me repeatedly that it would take just TWO HOURS to paint a garage. TWO HOURS, she said. Painting day arrived…and 7 hours after starting, clean-up was almost over. “See?” she told me. “I TOLD you it wouldn’t take long.”

    Like

    Reply

      1. BiR, thanks for asking. Who knows? I won’t know for sure until I hear if I get the job or not. The weird thing is I wasn’t nervous at all. What’s the deal with that? I’m always nervous for stuff like that. I felt like that helped me be more articulate, but who knows?

        Like

        Reply

  14. I consistently miscalculate how many appointments and events I can squeeze into my calendar. I always look at next month and it looks like I’ll have all kinds of time. So I say Yes, I can work that election…and Yes, I can sign up for a few volunteer shifts, and Yes, I’ll help out at the community garden. But then there are medical appointments and vet appointments and dentist appointments and work commitments and wet basements and broken down cars to deal with. Avalanches of paperwork. I need a couple more hours per day.

    Like

    Reply

    2. Reminds me of something I read once about the pitfalls of being a stay-at-home mom and yet still having a less than tidy home-the IGAD syndrome as in, egad! I’ve Got All Day.

      Right up there with How Long Can It Take and As Long as We’re Doing x, We Might as Well y…….

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

Leave a reply to reneeinnd Cancel reply