Where Credit is Due

Today’s post comes from Dr.Larry Kyle, founder and produce manager at Genway, the supermarket for genetically engineered foods.

In every life there comes a moment when you are struck by an uncomfortable truth about the work you’ve been doing.

DrKyle

For some, this moment came just yesterday when I realized I will never receive credit for accomplishing my mission – to develop genetically modified foods through unsupervised experimentation and then to release those foods into a trusting world!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

This came to me in a rush when I read an article that claimed a new mushroom species had been discovered in London grocery store.

Researchers testing dried porcini mushrooms found that three out of the fifteen pieces in the bag matched no known DNA profile!

This proved shocking to everyone because in most grocery stores people assume that someone, somewhere,knows what they are buying.

And if the grocery store operator had been aware that he was selling a previously unheard of and utterly unique product, he would have doubled the price. Obviously.

At Genway, the strange situation described above is our everyday reality. When walking up and down the aisles to peruse products like Genway’s Cobrabanana, our Fresh Living Toast, our Screaming Pumpkins, our Brussels Sprites, or our Snapping Peas, customers EXPECT to find fruits, vegetables and even animals that are well off the map of known science!

When I saw the mushroom story I instantly recognized these interlopers as stray samples of Genway’s Mock Mushrooms – fungal edibles interlaced with DNA from some of nature’s great mimicry artists – chameleons, mocking birds, the mimic octopus, the false cobra, and the Four-Eyed Butterfly Fish.

Our Mock Mushrooms grow from the ground up in a pre-dried state, and can be added to any mushroom dish when you come up just a little short of enough fungi to complete the recipe. Inherently aware of their surroundings, Genway’s Mock Mushrooms will instantly impersonate many varieties, including shiitake, frondosa, morel, chanterelle and the impossibly old and wrinkly-looking Calvin!

That last one isn’t a kind of mushroom – it’s your Uncle from Eden Prairie!

In the case of the London fungal surprise, someone must have purchased our Mock Mushrooms and then accidentally released them, perhaps during a picnic in the woods. They infiltrated a stand of existing fungi and eventually found their way into another grocery store on the other side of the globe.

I’m so proud! My glorious pretties have been released into an unsuspecting world!

But I will never get the credit I am due, unless formal charges are filed and international agricultural authorities have the power to extradite!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yours in science and subversion,
Dr. Larry Kyle

Do you get sufficient credit for the work you do?

38 thoughts on “Where Credit is Due”

  1. Bwhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have always been backstage and unknown.

    In my misspent youth this troubled me deeply. Today? meh.

    I get the credit that matters. My clients love my work and I love that they deal with the customer and supply side of things. I also get more credit than I am due as the mothet to the s&h I think–except from his Latin teacher who I am pretty sure thinks the s&h came from Genway, but that’s okay because I don’t believe in him either.

    S&h claims said Latin teacher is a stand-up comedian. Yeah, right.

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  2. In short, yes. Like the rest of my family, I just get stuff done. However, a) because I don’t take credit for it, I’m not recognized and b) I’m too valuable wherever I am to promote or move. Swell.

    My favorite creation of Dr. Kyle’s was the cantaloupe crossed with the DNA of a cocker spaniel. It jumped out of the refrigerator when you came and would hop around your legs to remind you that it needed to be eaten. The seeds were replaced with raspberry sorbet as well. But when Dale asked Dr. Kyle if people wouldn’t have a problem with slicing into a cantaloupe that was acting like a cocker spaniel, Dr. Kyle uncomfortably paused and then seemed to be holding back laughter as he said they were working on it. Dr. Kyle must have been overcome with glee at the prospect of his creation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good morning. I would like to be thought of as a humble person who does not need to receive a lot of credit for the things I do. In fact, I am a proud person and I do think I deserve more credit for what I do. However, I will at least try to maintain the appearance that I am humble and not carry on about all of the great things I have done for which I received no credit. Anyway, I am sure anyone who knows me is aware that I am a genius who should have received the Macarthur genius award years ago.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. In a sense, l feel like l get too much credit for my work. I suppose that this is common among those of us who are therapists, but l’d rather my clients take more credit and give me less. First of all, it takes no courage at all to contribute 30 year’s worth of experience and indescribable courage on their part. Secondly, my passion for what l do has rarely felt like “work”. In fact, dancing and doing therapy are my two very favorite activities in my life.

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      1. Good one, Donna. Don’t give the kids an inch, they will take a mile. I’m afraid when I worked as a sub i wasn’t able to take control of classes in the firm manner shown by the “fine” example of a sub teacher shown in that video.

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  4. i get all the credit i have coming. none. i do nothing remarkable and the world is nit very changed because of my contributions. hopefully when im dead i wont have left too many scars. lifes a bitch then you die.
    but outdoors…. today is one of the 10 perfect days of 2014. i am going to the garage to savor the air. well that may take some sweeping. my basset has been locked in there all week due to new old age symptoms that have her wandering off into the neighborhood in pursuit of school bus fumes and squirrel vapors.
    off i go.

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  5. i think it matters when you work for yourself. the jerk who is the boss is you,. it makes you very sympathetic with management. the poor slobs just dont know any better.
    i find i tend to look at the world as a bunch of poor inattentive slobs who bumble theri way through life being pushed into situations by the designers of situations who think we are all sheep who follw the suggestions and key manipulations thye impose on us through the subtle little ways the tweak our moves.
    i have great hopes for the projevcts i have on my clip board these days and if the boss doesnt mess it up it may be great stuff. time will tell

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    1. one thing I love about working for myself? The boss is a slave-driver, but at least I know she is working as hard as I am- that, and I know she is every bit as smart (or not) as I am.

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  6. OT – when is Blevins next? I know the books but my phone had an update and wiped out my calendar entries. Gotta love technology!!

    Anybody remember?

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  7. Today’s entry is the story of my life. In my job I often spend months and months getting a program all set up, getting the communications done, website up and running, airline tickets set, tours and functions all set to go. Accounting ready. Then the travel staff go on site and they get all the credit. For the participants, it’s not that big a deal, how would they know? Unfortunately internal management at my company also has the travel staff on a pedestal. I’ll admit that this does occasionally grind my gears!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Someone I worked with told me a lot of parents requested me for their child’s teacher. I don’t know how true that was but at any rate I figured there were probably just as many parents who requested their child not have me. Having colleagues’ kids in my class, knowing they’d made the request, was a compliment indeed.

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  9. I don’t do anything now, so there isn’t an issue of getting credit for it. At least I’m not getting unwelcome “credit” for goofing off.

    But when I was actively working, credit was never an issue. The work I did as a freelance writer usually had my name on it, so I got credit for it.
    In the work I did collaboratively (like all my editing) I never gave a damn about credit. I used to work my butt off putting out the best magazine I possibly could make, and I never thought about who got credit. I just wanted the magazine to be good.

    There was one funny incident. I got a story about the Porcupine Mountains from a writer I’d never used before. It was awful, but I needed it to make the issue, so I put fresh paper in my typewriter (there were no personal computers then) and wrote a story based on her story. And put her name on it. I later got a letter from her. I cringed because I figured she might be ticked off about my total rewrite of her piece. She informed me that “her” story had won a prize for outstanding work in regional magazines. I had to laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Too funny is that story.

      And surely Liam knows that candy in his ears had to do with your ability to conjure and doesn’t take the credit for growing it there himself? Right? I mean, nobody else seems to find it there, do they?

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  10. We are having a spectacular early autumn day here in Happy Valley. The leaves haven’t begun to turn (but then, most trees around my place are conifers anyway). There was panic in Happy Valley this week, with some school lockdowns, because cougars have been sighted (twice in fact). I don’t know how a cougar makes a living here, as there is no brushy habitat anywhere I’ve been in this area.

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  11. nice day for an outdoor football game. almost too hot. eden prairie has a problem with cougars too. all those old divorcees with the white escalades hitting the bars but they dont close the schools here. they’re not going quite that young.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Update on a story from the past: some will remember my daughter gave a kidney FOR a friend. (Another person got her kidney, but the point was to save her friends life.) The friend died this week of kidney failure from a fungal infection, which destroys the anti-rejection drug. You do not want to hear all the “supportive” hurtful things people have said to her.

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    1. it so easy to be upset with people who are thoughtless and what we should really celebrate is the fact that we get it even when they dont
      they are not evil people just ignorant. it is hard to understand how people can be so in a fog that they dont see . it is also impossible to beleive it will ever be any different. you and i are the only perfect ones and sometimes im not so sure about you.

      Like

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