Lightning Strikes (Almost) Twice (As Much)!

Today’s post comes from professional alarmist Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty.

At ease civillians!

Relax but keep an eye on the sky, because I know we have had words in the past about my nemesis, lightning.

This past week, we received some hair-raising news – climate change may well hike the frequency of lightning strikes on our planet.

I know you are thinking several things right now that might disarm my urgent message. Let’s take them in order:

  • “Lightning isn’t a big threat to me right now. Two times zero is still zero.” 

Shame on you for using math to diminish a safety problem! That’s like saying there’s little chance you’ll get Ebola if you don’t come in contact with someone who has it. That’s the kind of reasoning that suppresses fear, which is the only tool nature gives us in the never-ending battle against unlikely calamities. If I did that, I’d be out of work today. And don’t forget The Human Lightning Rod, Roy Sullivan! If we apply math to his story, the number of personal strikes goes from 7 to more than 10!

  • The research says lightning will increase 50% by the year 2100. I’ll be dead by then, so who cares? 

Your “dead by then” argument is simply wishful thinking. Scientists are constantly finding ways to extend life spans. And if you make it to the year 2100, you’ll likely be in a wheelchair, which is made out of metal – a conductor! And … if you DON’T make it to 2100, you’ll most likely be in the ground, which is where lightning hits! Frankenstein’s monster thought he was safe on a “being dead” exemption – until lightning struck!

  • Lightning is troubling, but I have more immediate concerns. 

That’s what lightning WANTS you to think.

  • Lightning has no thoughts or desires. 

That means you can’t reason or bargain with it. You find THAT comforting?

Friends, there is no doubt in my mind we will experience more lightning in our future.

My advice:

  1. Buy a sturdy pair of rubber-soled shoes.
  2. Sell your golf clubs.
  3. Keep doors and windows closed in a rainstorm.
  4. Learn to bathe away from pipes and all plumbing.
  5. Yours in Safety, B.S.O.R.

What are you doing to prepare for the future?

70 thoughts on “Lightning Strikes (Almost) Twice (As Much)!”

  1. how future is future?

    I am cutting and pasting tomorrow’s schedule of Must Do Work to try and find the place to squeeze in a little time (and you might know it, in the middle of that process, somebody is squeaking in just one more little job, not big enough to refuse) at the re-opening of the Highland branch of the library!!!!!! It has been a long, hard year without it.

    Stuff like retirement? cannot even wrap my head around that as a possibility.

    Saving for the boy’s college? Been doing that since before they sent him home from the hospital.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t believe they did that remodeling of the library. About the time my daughter went off to college (in the mid-1990s) they shut down that branch for a huge remodeling that lasted almost a decade. Then it seemed like the library had been open a year when they declared it would be necessary to shut the place and do a major remodeling.

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      1. I am guessing here, but I think the technology changes are what drove this. The leap from the mid-90s to now is kind of intimidating if you think about it. It would not have occurred to me that today I would think nothing of tossing more computer power than was available at a college in 1997 into my pocket

        It will be interesting to see what it is now like.

        We went the last day they were open and took pictures, as we are so fond of the place and spent so many important hours there. They wanted as many of the books to be “out” as possible and so we each checked out our 100 book limit, due December 1, 2014.

        I did plan for the future on that one, getting gardening books, Christmas cookie books etc, etc.

        Sadly, my year did not allow me to get through a lot of those or do many of the projects I had hoped to.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Steve, I want to think you would approve the “new” library. So many spaces that were inaccessible (including the basement) are now patron areas.

        Can’t wait for after December 1 when all the books have to be returned (shelves are pretty full already).

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  2. ND has set up a commission to plan for the long term use of an oil revenue fund that is estimated to have 250 billion in it by 2060. It has 2 billion in it now. They are using a similar fund developed by the Norwegian government as a model. I guess Norway has 900 billion dollars in its fund, all from North Sea oil.

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    1. From what I am hearing from you and my friend who is a pastor in Minot, they would do well to invest some of those billions in the long-term mental health of the workers, etc who are there now.

      But what do I know.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. OT Liam update. We went to dinner at a restaurant Thursday. Liam was trying to talk his way out of going to a birthday party the next night. “Actually, Mama, I think I have been to too many birthday parties recently. I’d like to stay home and just relax.” This was clever because it is just the words my daughter uses all the time to express her desire to get off the merry-go-round and enjoy life on weekends.

    A man sitting across from us noticed Liam. Pretty soon he and Liam were having a lively conversation. As we left, that man made eye contact with me. Shaking his head, he said, “Geez, he’s only five years old? “Umm, he’s four.”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m only worrying about the next seven days. Nonny arrives next Saturday. If you know me, you know I’m working off a long list. Different colored highlighters.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Planning for the future?? l do my very best to just live in the present. After all, cats and dogs don’t plan for the future. My only preparations for it are a sizable reverse mortgage and having made an updated will after my divorce a decade ago. l recall asking another “present time” friend what time it was. He replied, “NOW”

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  6. Don’t get me started on talking about planning for the future. A recent deal that Obama made with Chinese on reducing the use of fossil fuels gives me a little hope that we will have a future. There wouldn’t be much point to planning for a future that includes a livable planet for our children if that deal with China doesn’t work and if we don’t see more deals of that kind.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m proud to be one of the wing nuts who has noticed bad deals associated with Obama and his failures to take action. For example the deal he made with China was one he could have offered years ago and has left us far behind where we need to be on the burning of fossil fuels Instead of trying to make deals of the kind he just made with
        China, he worked against making such deals.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. As Jim points out, Obama has been weak on this issue. Only thing worse is anybody who’s been running against him. Those who would like to see positive change in this arena have pitifully few options.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. worst leader ever except all the others. i love obama and all he has tried to do inn this poision pill culture we are in the midst of. the gop wont allow anything, anything to go through. he has to find a way to make it executive power and hope they forget by the time they have the goals for pillaging america in the sights of their future anticipated stickitwherethesundontshineascopes.

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    1. Not sure if you’ll see this, Clyde. My best girlfriend is a fan of this book and has made many nice breads. I had it from the library after it came out but for the same reason that I can’t do sourdough (I spend more time dealing w/ the starter than actually making bread), I didn’t try it.

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    2. I have the book but haven’t really made their bread that often. I have a bread recipe i invented back a few decades ago that I make more often than other breads (except for the amazing pizza dough I make). I need a certain amount of space in the frig in which to keep the bucket, or buckets, of dough, and I still haven’t regained control of my frig after so many months of it being commandeered by other people.

      I do think it’s an awesome method of being able to make bread on a regular basis with not much work. The bread is good, the method really is easy and foolproof; and once my brain is a bit clearer, I will probably use the book and its methods a lot more. I love homemade bread.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have the very first one and have had the other 2 (the “healthy” one has some gluten free IIRC) out from the library .

    I think they know their stuff, if that is what you are asking.

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    1. Does anyone remember that trend with some kind of bread dough that proliferated across the country? Everyone slicing off a small part of the dough, then giving it to friends who gave it to other friends. l can’t remember the name. l called it the Traveling Doughboy. You had to keep it “alive” indefinitely, too – kind of like a chain letter. l’ll feel pretty stupid if none of you know what l’m talking about!

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        1. I had some starter at one time, but I can’t keep it going through the summer. Winter is good bread-baking weather. When it gets warm I use up the starter in pancake batter and hope to get replenished from somewhere when it gets cold again.

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        2. I stall it in the fridge over summer. I will be up in the cities twice mid December if people would like some starter. I could start splitting it now and have a couple to hand off.

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        3. I still have a good starter, too. Have made a couple batches since cooler weather set in. Reminds me…my current starter is ready to double…

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      1. when i screwed it up and killed the starter i was able to look up friendship bread on google and the recipe to start the starter was there. no big deal just took a little longer if i remember correctly

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    2. I was just curious, wondering if anyone had favorites from it or stories to tell. My daughter feeds her family from it. So many options in the book. She was going to give me the book to me for my birthday but we have diverted all out gift money this year to support two families. Not sure it would work for two people, It sure is interesting. I think I may copy down the relevant two pages and try it next week.

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      1. we are a 2 person family and we use the technique regularly.

        It is entirely possible to cut down the size of the original recipe if you want to make smaller loaves or bake less frequently.

        I usually just make the full amount (the amount of bread we can crank through is sort of alarming) unless I am not sure we will like it.

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      2. REQUEST TO BUY THIS PHOTO
        ST. MARTIN’S PRESS
        Yeasted Thanksgiving Cornbread with Cranberries
        Wednesday November 12, 2014 8:01 AM
        Comments: 0 9 7 19
        Makes 1 loaf

        1 pound Broa dough
        1/2 cup fresh cranberries, or 1/3 cup dried cranberries
        1/4 cup sugar
        Zest of 1/2 orange
        1 tablespoon softened butter, lard, bacon grease or oil, for greasing the pan

        Grease a cast-iron pan with the butter, lard, bacon grease or oil, being sure to coat the sides of the pan as well. Set aside.

        Pull off a 1-pound piece (grapefruit-size) piece of dough and quickly shape into a ball.

        Place the dough into the prepared pan and press it to the edges. Cover dough with the cranberries, sugar and orange zest, pressing the berries into the dough. Cover with plastic wrap or the pan’s lid and allow the dough to rest for 45 minutes.

        Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

        Uncover the pan and place it on a rack near the middle of the oven. Check for browning in about 20 to 25 minutes. The total time required will depend on the size and weight of the pan, but will probably be 25 to 30 minutes. The loaf should be a rich golden brown when done.

        Carefully turn the hot loaf out of the pan onto a serving plate, or just cut wedges directly from the pan.

        PER SERVING: Nutritional information isn’t available for this recipe.

        Like

        1. i didnt realiz it is a recipe that cllas for a lof of broa dough. my mom used to make stuff like spaghetti form recipes that called for a jar of spaghetti sauce and a box of spaghetti. wht kind of recipe is this.

          recipe for blueberry pancakes… take some blueberries and stick them in your pancake batter>?????? thats a recipe??? give me a different cookbook

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      3. Clyde, it’s actually a great method for a 2-person household, unless you don’t eat much bread. If the dough doesn’t keep long enough in the frig, you can freeze some of it. Or make a smaller batch of dough, as MiG mentioned. Part of the beauty of the method is its flexibility.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. help on gluten free flour choices please. i looked up on amazon and 25 lbs for 60 bucks seems like the way to go vs 4 lbs for 20 or whatever outrageous prices they charge. different types available or combinations of ingredients . got a good one? favorotes

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  8. Planning for the future? Attempting to pay down current debt and avoiding adding new debt (though some debt, arguably, may be necessary – if I waited to save all the cash I needed to pay for a new roof, I would still be worrying this winter about ice dams causing water damage in select parts of my house). Would be nice to not spend what little I am saving for retirement on paying off credit cards.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I mostly prepared for the future by funding a retirement account. That gives me a modicum of security.

    Lately I’ve been thinking about having an automatic standby generator installed. This unpredictable weather we’ve been having has me a little spooked. I don’t worry as much about power failures during the summer months, but in the winter, when the heating system is dependent upon electricity, it worries me.

    Like

  10. my damn life is in busy mode and my laptop went south friday to return this morning after i cursed my ipad numerous times and dreaded the thought of having to adjust. its back today and i can type in lower case and misspell to my hearts content. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    i thingk the opportunity to harness lightning is being missed here. electric cars driving dwown the raod could be made vessels for a 2 year charge with a direct hit. what if your town could suck up the lightning like wind farms and light the world for free or better yet sell it tio the middle east long with water. we couls all be kajillionaires with the rafferty lightning condom that wraps around the bolt and makes it a cash corp for the elimination of all hot water heaters electircal and gas generators and gasoline refineries by the year 2120. dale electric get you lightning from the trail. lightning is also rich in nitrogen and is a great growth accelorator for plants. connellizer for your tomatioes is just what the doctor ordered. gus the !!! will be president by then and the connelly empire will be monitored for the space colony he manned to chart the path of the furture lightning storms to harvest with the greatest efficiency and also to get to look at all the cool sparkly lights.
    it a brave new world with bsor at the back of the helm cowering beneath the lightning rods on his golf cart. (cant you make non metallic golf clubs for cryng out loud? carbon shaft and club heads made out of compressed algea from the chitader golf club factory on the back end of the connelly comet where many geothermal and extraterrestrial activites occur.
    neccessity is the mother of lightning factories or something like that

    Liked by 2 people

  11. broa bread

    Wednesday November 12, 2014 8:05 AM
    Comments: 0 0 0 7
    Makes 4 1-pound loaves

    5 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour
    1 1/2 cups cornmeal, plus more for dusting
    1 tablespoon granulated yeast
    1 to 1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt
    2 tablespoons sugar
    4 1/4 cups lukewarm water

    Whisk together the flour, cornmeal, yeast, salt and sugar (if using) in a 5- to 6-quart bowl, or a lidded (not airtight) food container.

    Add the water and mix with a spoon or a heavy-duty stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment.

    Cover and allow to rest at room temperature until the dough rises, approximately 2 hours. The dough can be used immediately after the initial rise, although it is easier to handle when cold. Refrigerate it in a lidded (not airtight) container and use during the next 10 days.

    (For additional instructions on baking remaining Broa loaves, visit http://www.GFBreadIrn5.com)

    NOTE: Although there are gluten-free all-purpose flours on the market, Hertzberg and Francois have formulated one to work with their recipes. Visit http://www.GFBreadIrn5.com to learn more.

    Like

  12. i do have the adapter for the kitchen aide to grind stuff like rice and corn into flour. its cool but slow. good to do chores to with a white sound kind of drone going in the background and required reloads of rice or garbonzos or whatever.

    Like

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