Tonight the President of the United States will deliver his annual State of the Union address.
This is a ceremonial event that has it’s own set of routine features:
- The president will trumpet his accomplishments and challenge his many foes.
- He’ll introduce a list of guests sitting in the gallery.
- The phrase “My fellow Americans …” will be included, even though roughly half of all Americans are not fellows.
- Media reports will list the number of times he was “interrupted” by applause.
- It will take a while.
Or he could set a precedent for State of the Union addresses, which are causing less and less of a stir news-wise because they are so predictable.
He could boil it down to three lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables.
Skip fancy salutations.
State of the Haiku!
A divided government
means more golf for me!
Posturing feels good
Until your talking points meet
My sharpened pencil.
Everyone stand up!
I’m so pleased to have you here
Sitting by Michelle.
The Union is strong!
Good, Tops, Awesome, or The Bomb.
Not many options.
Anyone can be president. Write your own State of the Union!