Lost at Sea!

Today’s post comes from Captain Billy, skipper of the pirate ship Muskellunge.

Ahoy, Landlubbers!

Me and me boys is havin’ a great laugh today over th’ story of th’ novice sailor Louis Jordan, who was lost at sea fer more than two months before bein’ found last week somehow in better shape than when he went out.

Jordan says he captured rain water, stayed out of th’ sun an’ th’ wind as much as he could, an’ caught an’ ate raw fish after his food supplies was exhausted.

He was a bit of a heavy fella when he went out at about 290 pounds. Two months later he was closer to 200, lookin’ fit an’ pleased, which is no surprise. His haters says he’s a lyin’ scoundrel what is just tryin’ t’ get famous an sell books ’bout his ordeal.  Or t’ promote a diet plan what involves bein’ marooned on a vessel fer 9 weeks! Drop 10 pounds per week, guaranteed!

Me an’ be boys don’t doubt a word of it on account of our previous experience with a sailor we knew as Sensitive Stu. He was exactly like Mr. Jordan, a seafarer what stayed in his bunk th’ entire time he was with us. Th’ only time he ventured above decks was in th’ moonlight on nights when there warn’t too much wind.

Stu said his skin was “too tender” t’ be exposed t’ th’ harsh environment, an he marveled that th’ rest of us was above decks workin’ most o’ th’ time.

Naturally we was also amazed, so we put Sensitive Stu overboard in a dinghy at th’ very first opportunity an’ set him adrift with just a tarp, a bucket an’ a fish hook, confident that he would perish.

Six weeks later our paths crossed again an’ we found him as chipper as ever, havin’ stayed under the tarp by day, an’ caught rainwater in th’ bucket an’ fish wi’ th’ hook at night. An his skin looked marvelous, which as a pirate is a word I finds difficult t’ say.

But there was no other way t’ describe it.

Th’ episode caused a bit of trouble on board th’ Muskellunge, as several of me boys immediately took t’ their bunks hopin’ t’ become as relaxed an’ healthy lookin’ as Stu. But it was short lived when they realized it also meant there would be no more grog in their rations.

But our hats is off t’ Louis Jordan. An then our hats is quickly back on again, in order t’ protect our scalps from th’ sun.

Yer commander,
Capt. Billy

What do you do to protect your skin from the elements?

28 thoughts on “Lost at Sea!”

  1. Mornin’, baboons. Is it possible I’m the first one on here?

    Hardly anything – if I’m on going to be on the water, I’ll put on a little sunscreen, but otherwise I just wear something lightweight for cover. Winter is different – all my coats are the hooded variety, and I have lost of scarves keep any wind out..

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  2. Sun block in summer -SPF 50 or higher. No-Crack Cream in winter on my hands to prevent cracks on my fingertips. Found it at Duluth Trading Post. Works better than many other creams I’ve tried.

    I’m grudgingly trying to wear a hat on the golf course after I suspected I got a bit of sunburn one day because, I’m forced to admit, my hair isn’t quite as thick up there as it used to be. 😦

    Chris in Owatonna

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My summer hat has an SPF rating of like 4 billion. It’s from Coolibar, specializing in sun-resistant clothing and located in St. Louis Park. (I wish I got something from them for this shameless plug.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am embarrassed to say that I do nothing, except sometimes when I know I am at risk for a sunburn I will put on sun screen, whatever the kind we might have in the bathroom cupboard. I am very fair skinned, and i don’t even so much as freckle. If I get a sun burn, which is rare, I just turn as pale as I was to begin with once the burn goes away. Husband says I have my mother’s skin, and she never used sun screen and she had very few wrinkles for a woman her age.

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  5. I’ll have to let you know once I get some time outside.

    The rhubarb is gamely inching along and the forsythia is ready to burst. I put out a few potatoes on Good Friday but have my doubts they will do any thing in this damp cold.

    The grey is starting to get me down.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If “the grey” is depressing you, mig, stay away from northwestern Oregon. TV weathermen here use a phrase not known in Minnesota: “sun breaks.” Those are moments–often fleeting moments–when the sun shines through an opening in the cloud cover.

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      1. I have heard that about the NW.

        Makes me wonder how they manage to have rose gardens, but maybe they like the damp better than I do.

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      2. I don’t believe you. I recently spent a day in Portland and I saw some white fluffy clouds and lots and lots of warm sunshine.

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  6. Good morning. I tried wearing hats with wide brims. They fail to stay on my head if the wind is blowing. I usually wear a hat with a bill to shade my eyes. I don’t like sun screen which I will sometimes apply if it is very sunny and avoid applying most of the time. During growing season I spend a lot of time in the garden and develop a fairly dark tan that gives me some protection from the sun.

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    1. Steve, I thought it was possible to get a sunburn through the clouds, which are simply nature’s mood suppression screens that have little effect on UV rays.
      But to quote Joni Mitchell, maybe I really don’t know clouds at all.

      Liked by 5 people

        1. most people don’t need sunscreen at 3 am, Steve. unless they are in the Very Far North and it’s summer when the sun never sets.

          Liked by 2 people

  7. Morning all. Like others here, I’m not as good about sunscreen as I should be. If I’m going to be outside, I usually start w/ sunscreen, but then I never get around to going in and re-applying when it’s been awhile. I got seriously scorched in Florida a couple of years back, so I’ve been better since then, but I should still do better. I do take an umbrella to the 4th of July parade every year – do I get points for that?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dermatologists would have a heyday with Baboons’ poor sunscreen habits. If I’m at an outdoor event for the day (like the State Fair), I might put on one slathering but reapplying-aren’t-us. I just hate the feel of it and the greasy hands after applying.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m fair skinned and susceptible to sun burn. In my younger days I was less than vigilant about protecting my skin, and, not surprisingly, I burned to a crisp lots of times. As a result, I’ve had to have several skin cancer lesions surgically removed. I now wear protective lotion and a wide brimmed hat to shield vulnerable areas, and I try to avoid too much exposure; don’t want to push my luck. Dale is absolutely right, it doesn’t need to be sunny for the UV rays to do their damage.

    I was lucky, my skin cancer was pretty benign as far as skin cancers go. Back in early January our local butcher, Mike, died as a result of a skin cancer that had metastasized to his brain.

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  10. I see CrystalBay has not answered. I wonder what she would say. She loves the tanned look. George Hamilton, next to her, would look pale. Our family does not readily sunburn.

    Here is a free tip for those who must be careful on sunny days. The most dangerous thing you can do is put in a day of paddling a canoe wearing shorts. You cannot change your body position in a canoe. If your knees are bare you are at risk of getting them cooked.

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    1. What do I do? I lay in the sun because vitamin D is important. I recall asking my oncologist if I could suntan while on chemo. Words can’t describe the look on his face!

      PS: I don’t get anywhere near as dark as George.

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    2. Yup. And then there’s the theory that sunscreen attracts bugs and that bug dope increases your chance for sunburn.

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  11. i have started to wear a baseball cap to shade my face, but that’s mostly to protect my eyes. i do sunscreen sometimes, but not as much as i should. mostly, i try to stay in the shade.

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  12. I can’t seem to remember to bring sunscreen with me, and it is remarkably ineffective when left at home. Count me among those earning D’s and F’s for sunscreen use.

    I once had a teeny melanoma, but I’m told those are more likely due to the bad sunburn you got as a child or teenager, and use of sunscreen in the here & now doesn’t counteract the damage done in the past. Basal cell cancers are the ones you are more likely to get from repeated exposures over many years.

    The vitamin D argument is, in my opinion, a spurious one. I get my vitamin D at the pharmacy counter. It’s not necessary in the modern world to make it from the sun.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps another occasion where the “too soon old, too late schmart” adage proves right. If I knew then what I know now, I would have used sunscreen instead of baby oil when sunning on the beach – for hours on end – clad only in my bikini.

      Liked by 1 person

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