Things Left Unsaid

Today’s guest post comes from tim

i am so pleased that our blog has proven to be self sustaining.

i miss dale ad his notes on things like the planets being so  close together last week that they looked like one. i dont like relying on the outside world to bring me my trail info. last week on my way home the guy on the radio was telling me and he was a weather guy not a planet guy but i guess he sounded the alarm for me.

our little family has taken form as guest  bloggers with clyde is clicking on all 8 cylinders and sherrilee barbara and jacque cranking out the blogs.

we made it what a month so far. my ideas focus and unfocus as the days go on and if i dont hurry up and take notes they are gone. 

what was that great idea i had?

dale has realized by now what it is like to be a normal human being with 24 hours of your own without having to dedicate 2 or 3 hours per day to tour merry band of blogmates who reside here on the trail. i have come to realize what a remarkable run 6 days a week for 5 ears truly was and am thankful for the ride.

i hope he returns but i think we have proven that we have the ability to start a conversation for the day and carry on in the baboon tradition. the old regulars the occasionals and the newbies. returns he old alpha for bringing us together

i remember the first physical coming together at the russian museum where i got to meet a fistful of baboons and the extension of the camaraderie was formalized. since then the rock bend the bbc the state fair the concerts and other activities (pj i want to meet up with you at the farmers market and learn your favorites and i am an early morning person so it might work and hmong village is not forgotten either)

sometimes the best stuff comes from unexpected sources and if you think about it too hard or too long its gone.

time waits for no one and the trail is a nice place to practice spouting off what you have learned and observed and thought about with those who stop in.

what do you wish you had said to who?

67 thoughts on “Things Left Unsaid”

  1. Morning all. Nice wander down memory lane, tim. I believe the photo is from Jim Ed’s service, isn’t it?

    I’m actually pretty satisfied with my “what should I have said” moments. I try to be nice and I also try to let folks know when I appreciate something; thank you notes are not a dying art in my household.

    I feel very lucky that the night before my father passed away unexpectedly, we had had a nice long conversation in which is he more lucid than usual. (He had Alzheimer’s so most of the time our phone calls were frustrating and not pleasant.) At the end of the call, I was feeling great about our talk and I told him I loved him. I don’t know if I would have felt badly if we hadn’t had that call, but I’m glad we did.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yep, photo is from Jim Ed’s service. Joanne, her husband, Linda, Hans and I went to Babani’s for dinner afterwards. Guy in the hat was there also, but snuck away before we could get him in the picture.

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  2. Rise and Speak UP Baboons!

    Great thoughts tim, thanks! I love s & h in the picture–reading his book. It is just so him. MIG, does he read when he runs?

    My list, in every life venue, tends more to “Oh, I wish I had not said that,” rather than what I did not say. The list of what I wish I had not said is very long, indeed. It seems I am always asking one too many questions when things just don’t make sense. It must be the Social Worker in me that cannot leave the unsaid, unsaid.

    In regards to the blog, there are so many things I wish I could have participated in: Jim Ed’s service, sawing up St Paul Steve’s tree, the Russian Museum. But while I have been running my business, I run out of time and energy frequently.

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    1. PS, Dale may not be writing blog posts, but he is doing something. I notice some new baboon images in the header. The red face in the header today keeps catching my eye.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thankfully, the s&h does not read while running. He could download and listen to podcasts, but has yet to even look at the iShuffle he got for Christmas.

      He used to read when walking places, in spite of my telling hum not to.

      He does still read a lot and is cranking through the suggested list from school.

      It’s a good list, would love to take ot on myself.

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  3. im really good at thinking up stuff to say right after the person i am talking to left. perfect zingers come to me as i am walking away.

    i catch myself speaking out loud in the car to myself and in the aisle at the grocery store in response to my thoughts in a certain discussion. occasionally i am mildly passionate as i walk along pushing my cart while the people walking by look at the whacko waving his hands at the stars in the sky

    my dad was in tough shape as the end rolled around. altzheimers had kicked him pretty good and he didnt enjoy the fade. he went into a nursing home where the stroke that nailed him came up pretty shortly after he entered. i got to tell him all the good byes and recall our time together as business partners and friends and then i went off to get the business locked up on a trip to wisconsin. i gave a call to tell him that the big deal we had been hoping for went through and that was the last thing he heard from me. i was making a trip back stopping along the way to dot the i’s on the business deal when i got the call to hurry back because he didnt look like he would make it. he didnt and i arrived 5 hours alter to a room of family who waited for me to get a chance to say good bye. it was good that it was over but i wished i would have been there. some stuff is important. time is a moving target and you need to keep resetting the viewfinder as the moments click by. some matter.

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  4. Like Jacque, list of things I wish I had not said is long.

    What I often find myself wishing far after the fact is that I had realized my blunder and apologized on the spot. By the time I figure it out, it seems bad form to bring it up again, so I try to just not be a repeat offender.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Thanks, tim. Nice reminder.

    From the get-go I’ve been impressed by the openness and generosity of the baboons, both individually and as a group. I’m still awed to think of the number of baboons that showed up at my house to help whip my yard into shape after my fall in 2012. I still laugh when I think of Lisa showing up in her long green dress. What a hoot.

    At this point I have met most of the “local” baboons, some quite a few times. Dale, Steve, Linda, Barb, tim, Jim, Jacque, Bill and Robin, Krista, Lisa, Anna, verily sherrilee, littlejailbird, Crystalbay, Joanne, Occasional Caroline, and madislandgirl and the s&h. Thank you, all, you have added color to my life. I couldn’t make it to Steve’s tree trimming event, so I missed meeting Ben. And thanks to Renee for generously hosting husband when he embarked on his post-retirement solo trip to the Dakotas. Sight unseen she invited him to stay at her house. What a bunch of great people.

    Like Jacque, it’s not what I should have said that I tend to have regrets about. I’m more apt to rue what I have said. The kinder, gentler me appreciates that I have held back from telling some people to go to hell, but it sure has been tempting sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now we’ve gotta lure the Outliers here for some event… State Fair? Or at least they must let us know when they’ll be “in town”, so we can have a picnic at the Falls… I’m thinking of Renee, Donna, Wes, Chris in Owatanna, Cynthia (tgith, but he’s in town)… Danger of listing is that I’m bound to forget someone… please speak up.

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    2. PJ, going to your house to do yard work, along with some of the other baboons (most of whom I had not yet met) was so much fun. I remember it as a beautiful, cool day; the work was not too taxing, and, of course, the food was great. I’m not happy you had that fall, but I am glad we had the opportunity to help you.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks, littlejailbird. The amazing thing to me was that half of the people who showed up that day, including Robin, who was one of the organizers, I had never met before. I was really quite overwhelmed at being the recipient of such good will.

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  6. I, too, am impressed with our self-sustainability. I take it for granted we will miss a day from time to time. When that happens, we will chat on the last page we had going, and someone will be inspired to write a new guest blog.

    When I was a teen I saw a TV show about someone who fails to share the love he feels for his family. After that show I thought, “Well, that’s easy. We should all share our affection before it is too late.” Amazingly, seeing that show changed me, and I’ve gone through life trying hard to say the things in my heart. Well . . . the good things. I was comfortable when both of my parents died because I knew I had told them how much I loved them. I have many failings, but that isn’t one of them.

    I’m not so good about saying negative stuff. Workin’ on that. When Abe Lincoln was angry he would write a hot letter, and then put it in a drawer without mailing it. I’ve got a big drawer in my soul filled with hot letters I never sent. And that is, more often than not, a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve wished for many years that my computer had a “retrieve” key. I’ve learned the hard way to trust the “should I or shouldn’t I” feeling in my gut. Ultimately, when I’ve been in an emotional state when I compose an email, I’ll save it to draft for review the next day. I’ve yet to send a single one of those!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have regrets not writing things down when my parents told me things about family or community history. I have loads of questions I wish I had asked my maternal grandmother.

    I sent Dale another guest post last night. The ideas stay with me, but getting them on paper is the problem.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My sister and I recorded some of our Aunts and Uncles in 2008 about their lives. It was interesting and very revealing–one uncle was still sobbing about his WWII experiences, which of course, he never wanted to tell us about until that day. He had been diagnosed with PTSD at the Sioux Fall VA and was encouraged to talk about it.

      So he did. On the record. With the cuckoo clock he brought home from Germany after the war “cuckoo-ing” every 15 minutes. And his wife, who then had Alzheimers was asking us “Who are you? Are you the one who writes or the one from the Cities?” every 5 minutes.

      It is the most bizarre recording you will ever see.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I wish I had suggested to President Lincoln, “You and Mary have been through a lot. Wouldn’t it be nicer to just hole up tonight and watch a little TV? I’ll bet there’s an Easter Special on. I’ll make popcorn.”

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Bob Newhart soared to fame with a monologue where he is a Madison Avenue political consultant trying to help a clueless Abe Lincoln with the Gettysburg Address. Newhart ends with the consultant telling his client something like, “Hey, Abe, you should relax some more. Maybe you should take in a show.”

      Liked by 2 people

  9. The job at a construction project at Purdue University was not going well for the local guys so they called in people (me included) from Ohio to supplement the original crew. The job superintendent was really PO’d because our production and quality control far exceeded what his crew was putting out. We embarrassed the heck outta them without even breaking a sweat. So we come to the final stages of the project and he took me into a mechanical room where I had applied vinyl base to the drywall behind pipes and equipment. One little outside corner was loose at the very top but you had to be an Olympic gymnast to get a line of sight at the offending piece of work. He was all over me for that (expletive deleted) work. A little super glue would have corrected this felony but he contorted his hand to reach the base and ripped it off the wall. The skin of the drywall came off three feet up the wall and now he’s screaming at me for that! I turned on my heels and just walked away. I should have called him a maternal reproducer.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. When we started down this trail I used to refer to the baboons as “my blog friend” whenever any of you came up in conversation outside the blog. I’ve noticed that these days I just say “my friend”. If you had told me six years ago that I would have a wonderful new group of friends that I had met by being part of an online blog, I would have laughed in your face. Now I realize that I’ve received a great gift in you all.

    And Dale — this is all due to you. This could not have happened without your calm and accepting attitude every day!

    Liked by 7 people

      1. Excepte, HV Steve, we are not only virtual. We all showed up for your good-bye party and there are real people tapping away at these keyboards!

        I just pinched myself. It hurt in real time. I swear I am not virtual.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Good morning. My parents and older relatives passed away before I got around to asking them for extensive information about our family history. I do know some interesting stories about our history. I should have taken more time to ask them questions about the history of our family because I highly value the small collection of stories on that subject that I did manage to collect.

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    1. My dad was a great story teller and on family trips he would turn of the radio called it a conversation killer you always wanted to know more about the stuff hat happened
      My moms mom would tell a story that would go on forever with no punchline or interest, so it’s not my moms fault

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  12. Maybe the smartest thing I ever did was to pressure my parents into writing down their personal memories. I had a whole lot of stories they had told me once, but I began to worry about how true they were. Mom couldn’t write much. She only did about six typewritten pages. The past was spooky for her. Dad wrote two volumes of memoir, and those two books are just about the most precious thing I own.

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  13. One night during my pastor period I received a call from a beloved former student. He started the conversation which floored me, not for the statement he made but how he preceded the statement. But he dropped in my lap a huge problem. He was left with the wrong impression about me. I wish I could go back and redo that conversation.

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  14. Wow, we did it for a month. I miss the Alpha Baboon’s voice at times, and Bart, BSOR, Cptn. Billy and the others. But it is heartening to have all these other voices – what a variety! Besides these “clyde … and sherrilee barbara and jacque”, we’ve had Renee, littlejailbird, Linda, Crystalbay, and Steve. (Did I miss anyone?) If we keep this up, we’ll be fine!

    Now that I’ve tried to come up with an essay more frequently, “on demand” as it were, I don’t see how Dale did it for 5 years. What was the question?

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  15. I have had to bite my tongue today in emails to a person in our business office. I have resisted saying “How stupid do you think I am?”, “I have been testifying in court for 20 years! Don’t teach your grandmother how to suck eggs”, and “Why don’t you just do as I say and figure out how much we are going to bill for a court appearance?” It doesn’t help that my sciatica is acting up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lately I’ve been experiencing the same thing with WordPress. I type in a comment, but it won’t post it. Please try again, Linda. I always enjoy hearing what you have to say.

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  16. It was something witty and insightful and a little bit poignant. I’m sure it would have won some kind of award for excellence in blog comment writing….but I’ve forgotten. Oh well! Tomorrow’s another day.

    Liked by 2 people

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